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Official 2019 bitch about family/holiday drama thread


Nice Guy Eddie

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On 11/20/2019 at 9:33 PM, tx 3 putt said:

one week heads up, any good updates ?

the biggest controversy at my family thanksgiving is where to buy the pumpkin pie. very stressful 

People who buy pies at Thanksgiving instead of baking them are just sad.

On 11/25/2019 at 10:47 AM, Telegraph_it said:

Pecan pie, pronounced pēˌkan, is the only pie anyone should be having on Thanksgiving.

 

Get that Deep South shit out of Texas, brother.  Pecan pie is holy, but if you pronounce it like that I'll boot your ass out of the house.

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2 hours ago, G650 said:

Pecan pie is god's greatest gift to the planet. Pumpkin pie is essentially dog vomit.

And anyone buying a fucking pie from the grocery store is not qualified to speak on this matter.

True a good pumpkin (or sweet potato) pie cannot be found at the grocery store 999,999,999 times out of a thousand.   Not true, regarding your uneducated dog vomit comment.

As for gods gift to the planet you sir are nuts. I'm not sure it's even in my even my top 10 pie list. Typically pecan pies are way to sweet, and sugary for my taste.

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6 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

So your dream culinary experience is walking the midway at County and state fairs ?

 

Apple pie is the pantheon of my dessert world

No,they fuck it up by adding breading and meat to the equation usually. But a funnel cake isn't far off

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I bake the pies for the Thanksgiving meal and have always done so. For a number of years we lived in the upper Midwest and I would bake pumpkin pie and apple pie for the meal because we could easily get apples from the fall crop. Sometimes I would make pecan pie if my late mother would ship them to us since she could get the good ones easily. When we moved back south, I have switched to making one pumpkin and one pecan. The quality of pecans does make a difference. My husband isn't all that fond of pecan pie (the sweetness) and I like to make what he likes, so it's why I make two pies. Since we usually have company that loves pecan pie, they take care of it. If I had my druthers, I would make pies over cakes, but my youngest is crazy for tres leches cake so I make that for him. I've also made buttermilk pie for Thanksgiving, but I've found people either love it or hate it.

I try and make the rolls, pies and do prep the day before, and then Thursday will get up and peel the taters, prep the dressing, and the sweet potato casserole. Since we are having a lot of guests this year, the turkey is smoked so it's going to be an easy day since I won't be responsible for that. Usually by now I would have started my boozecake (home-made fruitcake soaked in brandy) so that it can sit for several weeks but I caught a cold and am behind. I may not do it this year but the guys at the auto shop seem to really like it as do my husband's colleagues and the teachers at the schools. Probably because it isn't safe to drive after you eat it and it doesn't have the green and red cherries in it.

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6 minutes ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

I bake the pies for the Thanksgiving meal and have always done so. For a number of years we lived in the upper Midwest and I would bake pumpkin pie and apple pie for the meal because we could easily get apples from the fall crop. Sometimes I would make pecan pie if my late mother would ship them to us since she could get the good ones easily. When we moved back south, I have switched to making one pumpkin and one pecan. The quality of pecans does make a difference. My husband isn't all that fond of pecan pie (the sweetness) and I like to make what he likes, so it's why I make two pies. Since we usually have company that loves pecan pie, they take care of it. If I had my druthers, I would make pies over cakes, but my youngest is crazy for tres leches cake so I make that for him. I've also made buttermilk pie for Thanksgiving, but I've found people either love it or hate it.

I try and make the rolls, pies and do prep the day before, and then Thursday will get up and peel the taters, prep the dressing, and the sweet potato casserole. Since we are having a lot of guests this year, the turkey is smoked so it's going to be an easy day since I won't be responsible for that. Usually by now I would have started my boozecake (home-made fruitcake soaked in brandy) so that it can sit for several weeks but I caught a cold and am behind. I may not do it this year but the guys at the auto shop seem to really like it as do my husband's colleagues and the teachers at the schools. Probably because it isn't safe to drive after you eat it and it doesn't have the green and red cherries in it.

I'm in love with you Mrs. Whiggins.  The wife sent a group text to our families this morning saying we need pumpkin pies.  Her mom chimes in I'll bring one.  No thank you, it'll be a 14" Food Lion pie (pie in name only).  I'm not wastingg my taste buds on something that will taste like cardboard but should be an amazing taste experience.

I decided this morning I'm gonna make pumpkin pies, as well as doing my turkeys.   I want good pumpkin pie, and it's the only way I'm gonna get it this Thanksgiving.

Digging thru a couple recipes now for something really spicy, and rich. I've made lot of pies over the years,  but no pumpkin.  The daughter does a buttermilk pie from my wifes grandmothers recipe,  and they're pretty friggin great.

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31 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Make your own pumpkin, don't use canned.

I've done both (using pie pumpkins) and my husband prefers canned pumpkin. You can get pumpkin to be as creamy as canned pumpkin if you take the time, but I go with his preferences. I roll out my own crusts because he hates the 'bought' ones. I learned pie-making from my grammy (who made every pie under the sun, including raisin!) so I'd always rolled my own, but once I bought the Pillsbury. I could tell he didn't like it so I haven't done that since. For pumpkin pies though, I keep it simple for Thanksgiving and just use the old recipe (pumpkin, evap. milk, eggs, spices etc). At other times, though, I've made a pretty tasty layered pie with a whipped cream cheese and the pumpkin creme on top as well as a pumpkin cheesecake.

I like to bake, but I have to share the treats, otherwise we would all be roly poly. It's a great way to meet people in the community. I'm not a fancy baker or cook (I've seen the Food thread and it is amazing) but am pretty much regular and old-fashioned blending the meals I grew up with and learning (from my late MIL) the meals my husband liked growing up so that our own family had a mix of generations and regional differences plus dishes we adopted to make our own. Food memories (that are positive) link families and friends over time and place and stay with us for a long time.

 

Edited by Mrs Whiggins
grammar
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Mrs. W, while your posts are making me hungry, they’re entirely devoid of family drama. You’re quite busy with making sure you are pleasing the whole family and adjusting based on your husband’s tastes. 
In the spirit of the thread, where’s the burnt pie story? The in-laws freaking out because you usurped their pie making role?  That’s what we’re here for!

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Mrs. W, while your posts are making me hungry, they’re entirely devoid of family drama. You’re quite busy with making sure you are pleasing the whole family and adjusting based on your husband’s tastes. 
In the spirit of the thread, where’s the burnt pie story? The in-laws freaking out because you usurped their pie making role?  That’s what we’re here for!

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My sister and her husband are going to Branson this week, so I'm having my Dad come over on Saturday to do a thanksgiving/grandkids birthday party. I'm really looking forward to hearing about how Otto Graham and Wilt Chamberlain are far superior to the scrub athletes of today. For the 1000th time. This year.

I love my old man but he tells the same stories over and over again. 

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3 minutes ago, Sandman said:

My sister and her husband are going to Branson this week, so I'm having my Dad come over on Saturday to do a thanksgiving/grandkids birthday party. I'm really looking forward to hearing about how Otto Graham and Wilt Chamberlain are far superior to the scrub athletes of today. For the 1000th time. This year.

I love my old man but he tells the same stories over and over again. 

It's gotten to be a game with my daughter and me. We try to get him to tell the same story on the same subject. The game is how long it's going to take him after a cue. Mention basketball and he has to remind us of his time playing. There is a working list of favorites on various topics. 

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1 hour ago, nnm said:

Mrs. W, while your posts are making me hungry, they’re entirely devoid of family drama. You’re quite busy with making sure you are pleasing the whole family and adjusting based on your husband’s tastes. 
In the spirit of the thread, where’s the burnt pie story? The in-laws freaking out because you usurped their pie making role?  That’s what we’re here for!

I don't think I can top the oven replacement story from the Wives' thread. I'm not sure I want to, but if I do and am still alive, I'll be sure and post.

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8 hours ago, G650 said:

Pecan pie is god's greatest gift to the planet. Pumpkin pie is essentially dog vomit.

And anyone buying a fucking pie from the grocery store is not qualified to speak on this matter.

Pecan Pie is sugar flavored tree cum. 
 

Pumpkin pie is the king. 
 

 

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3 hours ago, Sandman said:

My sister and her husband are going to Branson this week, so I'm having my Dad come over on Saturday to do a thanksgiving/grandkids birthday party. I'm really looking forward to hearing about how Otto Graham and Wilt Chamberlain are far superior to the scrub athletes of today. For the 1000th time. This year.

I love my old man but he tells the same stories over and over again. 

On Chamberlain, I don't think he's wrong.  Maybe not far superior, but I think he would still be a dominant big man in today's game.  And he would probably still slay the same amount of trim.

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I make pumpkin pies and pecan pies everything Wednesday night before thanksgiving. It’s been a tradition since around 1998. That was the first year I didn’t go back to my hometown for Thanksgiving. Stayed in Austin to go to the game. 

Ever since then, Thanksgiving has been my favorite holiday. We party Wednesday night while making pies, wake up hungover as hell and cook. Then eat, nap, watch football and start drinking again. 

We moved back to Graham three years ago. But this is going to be my first Thanksgiving with my bitch sister since 1997. She is already making it stressful on my mom. My wife has already said “we aren’t doing this again.”  And we haven’t even seen or talked to my sister yet. 

Anyways, we have some long time high school friends coming to town this week to visit family. They will be coming by tomorrow night to partake in my tradition. I expect to be quite hungover Thursday at my moms. I can already hear my sister pissing everyone off and someone leaving before we even eat. I am NOT looking forward to my favorite holiday being ruined. 

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6 minutes ago, YoungCounty said:

I make pumpkin pies and pecan pies everything Wednesday night before thanksgiving. It’s been a tradition since around 1998. That was the first year I didn’t go back to my hometown for Thanksgiving. Stayed in Austin to go to the game. 

Ever since then, Thanksgiving has been my favorite holiday. We party Wednesday night while making pies, wake up hungover as hell and cook. Then eat, nap, watch football and start drinking again. 

We moved back to Graham three years ago. But this is going to be my first Thanksgiving with my bitch sister since 1997. She is already making it stressful on my mom. My wife has already said “we aren’t doing this again.”  And we haven’t even seen or talked to my sister yet. 

Anyways, we have some long time high school friends coming to town this week to visit family. They will be coming by tomorrow night to partake in my tradition. I expect to be quite hungover Thursday at my moms. I can already hear my sister pissing everyone off and someone leaving before we even eat. I am NOT looking forward to my favorite holiday being ruined. 

I suggest, making her a special pie, juuuuust for her.

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who knew they sold pie as well as their chimi-changas and bean and cheese?

got a pumpkin one on the drive out west earlier this week.

son reports the crust was meh but the filling was really good:(old pic, they are in the allsup freezer case btw)(got the one referenced in Seymour)

img_2018120617_061220180538.png

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I am getting out going anywhere or having anyone over for thanksgiving. Just the wife, daughter and myself. We were supposed to travel, but the weather has given me the excuse not to travel this year. So no drama on Thanksgiving, no Black Friday shopping, and a reprieve from putting up the exterior Christmas lights. All at the cost of shovelling some snow.

I hope Christmas turns out the same.

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My wife and I are meeting my parents and brother in Vegas. Thanksgiving meal will include lots and lots of booze and random food at the private sports area we booked for most of the day followed by attending the Tech basketball game.

All in all, should be an awesome holiday.

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20 minutes ago, zork said:

who knew they sold pie as well as their chimi-changas and bean and cheese?

got a pumpkin one on the drive out west earlier this week.

son reports the crust was meh but the filling was really good:(old pic, they are in the allsup freezer case btw)(got the one referenced in Seymour)

img_2018120617_061220180538.png

all the kids amped up on rockstars while the men gas everyone with gut grenades...

What are you thankful for? Quaaludes.

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On 11/7/2019 at 9:55 PM, markstanco said:

Mentioned before in threads past and I will again: men's Thanksgiving get together.

A friends dad started this over 40 years ago and we continue the tradition. Martini Matinee starts at 10a and ends at 11a SHARP. There is vodka and gin. No beer, no wine, no anything else. Of course olives and onions, but basically it is gin/vodka over ice in a pewter cup. Coat and tie is mandatory. No women allowed, even if the hosting house is cooking dinner, she isnt allowed to come out.

That's how you East Texas, bitches.

Tyler?

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So I'm told my step mother's cousin (whoever he is) is "staying for awhile" with her and my dad. I'm gonna go ahead and say he's a recent parolee. Or worse.

I'm taking my dad and her out for dinner tomorrow night, and I may invite him, so I can chat him up and figure out wtf is all going on. I fully expect I'll be able to offer a meaningful contribution to this thread.

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So I'm told my step mother's cousin (whoever he is) is "staying for awhile" with her and my dad. I'm gonna go ahead and say he's a recent parolee. Or worse.

I'm taking my dad and her out for dinner tomorrow night, and I may invite him, so I can chat him up and figure out wtf is all going on. I fully expect I'll be able to offer a meaningful contribution to this thread.


Just don’t expect him to make a meaningful contribution to paying the check.
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8 hours ago, TTU13 said:

My wife and I are meeting my parents and brother in Vegas. Thanksgiving meal will include lots and lots of booze and random food at the private sports area we booked for most of the day followed by attending the Tech basketball game.

All in all, should be an awesome holiday.

The brother lived in Vegas for years.  We did a Thanksgiving there once. It was a bit surreal walking thru a casino on Thanksgiving day.

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