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Last Jedi Was So Bad I Only Saw It Twice

Eskimohorn

By Eskimohorn
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Doc Reeves

Doc Reeves 6434

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Posted

I got board and walked out when they got down the the planet/fort for the big battle.

Action scenes were fine if a little too busy without perspective depth but not as excruciatingly awful as, say, Transformers. 

I really enjoyed how they unceremoniously killed off that stupid Rogue One twat, but that was it.

Also, can we stop shoehorning bad actors into roles just because of their race? That’s just as racist as excluding them. Just get a good actor of whatever race and make him a fucking alien or something. 

Seriously, it looks like the cast got their roles but drawing names out of a hat

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XYZ
XYZ

TLJ is the worst of the Star Wars movies, by a mile. SW movies are about badassery. Episode 4 has Vader, and Peter “one swift strrroke” Cushing, and old Kenobi who’s not up to the task anymore but fuc

BrickHorn
BrickHorn

There are four Star Wars movies: 1. Star Wars 2. The Empire Strikes Back 3. Return of the Jedi 4. Rogue One Everything else is garbage and, as far as I’m concerned, never happ

Deej
Deej

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SuingToGetAMessageBoard?

SuingToGetAMessageBoard? 3861

Posted
Posted
31 minutes ago, crackamacgowski said:

I'll give everyone in the movie the benefit of the doubt because of how terrible the writing was. For fuck's sake it made Laura Dern, Oscar Issac, and Domhnall Gleeson pedestrian and uninteresting. 

Gleeson is almost slapstick.  Contrast him with the icy effectiveness of Peter Cushing.  

It's like the people in charge of making these movies aren't even aware of that four letter word ... FUCK.

No, I'm just kidding. The word is CRAP. No, I'm just kidding. The word is SHIT. I'm just kidding. The word is PISS. I'm just kidding. The word is POOP. I'm just kidding. The word is GARBAGE. Naw, I'm just kidding, the word is TONE! 

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Rimbo

Rimbo 25988

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4 hours ago, Trey3216 said:

For what it’s become??? For what it’s become?!?!  Some of us don’t swim in pools of shit and think to ourselves, “well ain’t this refreshing?”

So why are you doing just that? Are you actually claiming that this discussion is NOT swimming in shit, and the movie was?

Are you really that stupid?

 

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Rimbo

Rimbo 25988

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Because what's happening in this thread is that a bunch of internet guys are trying really hard to convince themselves that a movie that wasn't what they wanted it to be was a bad movie, rather than simply saying that they didn't like it because it wasn't what they wanted it to be.

That's like trying to criticize a porn movie because it had a lousy plot, or a period romance movie because it lacked spaceships... you judge a film based on what the film is trying to be, not on what you wanted it to be.

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Trey3216

Trey3216 15349

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31 minutes ago, Rimbo said:

So why are you doing just that? Are you actually claiming that this discussion is NOT swimming in shit, and the movie was?

Are you really that stupid?

 

Apparently you believe the movie was some magically awesome masterpiece when the majority of the fans who saw it concluded that it was an absolute piece of flaming shit floating in a pool of soon to be ignited shit.  

 

Youre the fucking stupid one here

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elfenix

elfenix 34328

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14 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

Agreed on #1 and #2.  Wouldn't mind a Star Wars story on del Toro's character.  Would have been better than Solo.

As for Rey and Kylo, watch this minute or two segment of the RLM review - he nailed how it should have ended - the last of Luke we see in TLJ should have been when Rey leaves, and it should have ended with Rey joining Kylo and/or trying to save him.  Woulda been poetry - Luke gets a chance to go out like a badass in a blaze of glory in IX, and he reprises Obi-Wan's role as that of a master having to confront a student, only it would be two students, and Rey would be pulling a Luke and trying to save Kylo.  Poetry I tell ya.

 

i honestly thought the movie was about to be over watching that scene.  then it dragged into a bad remake of the battle of hoth.  of course they have a laser battering ram they carry with them, it's among the holy relics brother maynard carries!

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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 89735

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1 minute ago, elfenix said:

i honestly thought the movie was about to be over watching that scene.  then it dragged into a bad remake of the battle of hoth.  of course they have a laser battering ram they carry with them, it's among the holy relics brother maynard carries!

I think a lot of people would have a much different view of the movie had it ended when Kylo asked her to join him.

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ConferenceRoom

ConferenceRoom 6144

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59 minutes ago, Rimbo said:

Because what's happening in this thread is that a bunch of internet guys are trying really hard to convince themselves that a movie that wasn't what they wanted it to be was a bad movie, rather than simply saying that they didn't like it because it wasn't what they wanted it to be.

That's like trying to criticize a porn movie because it had a lousy plot, or a period romance movie because it lacked spaceships... you judge a film based on what the film is trying to be, not on what you wanted it to be.

 

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JBJ

JBJ 3657

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1 hour ago, SwanderedTalent said:

people are still impressed by special effects, in 2018?

It wasn't that the special effects that were impressive.  How they were used created a beautiful scene appropriate for the moment.

The flash and the sound dropping into a deaf hum, refocusing into the sprinkles of white debris and damaged ships silhouetted against the black of space.  The sombering tranquility of it was appropriate for the sacrifice just made, and it was visually beautiful.

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SuingToGetAMessageBoard?

SuingToGetAMessageBoard? 3861

Posted
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1 hour ago, elfenix said:

i honestly thought the movie was about to be over watching that scene.  then it dragged into a bad remake of the battle of hoth.  of course they have a laser battering ram they carry with them, it's among the holy relics brother maynard carries!

What?  That slow march on the rebel base with a bunch of walkers over a blanket of white only being slowed by light rebel craft while troops in trenches fire rifles out ending with the base being overrun and the the Empire's leader marching through flanked by stormtroopers during a desperate rebel escape wasn't like Hoth.  It had salt!

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Rimbo

Rimbo 25988

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Posted (edited)
6 hours ago, Trey3216 said:

Apparently you believe the movie was some magically awesome masterpiece when the majority of the fans who saw it concluded that it was an absolute piece of flaming shit floating in a pool of soon to be ignited shit.  

 

Youre the fucking stupid one here

It's a pretty fucking slim majority, mind you.

And yes, I can conclude that, because the people who hate it can't shut the fuck up about it, and it's pretty obvious from almost everything they write and say that they're absolute goddamned morons.

It's the whole "50% of the world is beneath the median IQ" thing going on.

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nineliveslost

nineliveslost 2788

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Posted (edited)

Man, im not trying to be a Star Wars homer but TLJ was awful. Ignore it being a Star Wars movie, just any movie and it was horrible. 

A 5th grader could have written a better script and porn stars could have acted better than half the cast. DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE SHITTY PLOT AND PACING

 

I sincerely cant tell if you are trolling

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Trey3216

Trey3216 15349

Posted
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18 hours ago, Rimbo said:

It's a pretty fucking slim majority, mind you.

And yes, I can conclude that, because the people who hate it can't shut the fuck up about it, and it's pretty obvious from almost everything they write and say that they're absolute goddamned morons.

It's the whole "50% of the world is beneath the median IQ" thing going on.

Stop orally raping windows you fucking troglodyte. 

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52-80

52-80 19189

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On 9/1/2018 at 1:02 AM, Rimbo said:

It's a pretty fucking slim majority, mind you.

And yes, I can conclude that, because the people who hate it can't shut the fuck up about it, and it's pretty obvious from almost everything they write and say that they're absolute goddamned morons.

It's the whole "50% of the world is beneath the median IQ" thing going on.

Your take is bad and you should feel bad

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rage-a-holic

rage-a-holic 4407

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1 hour ago, Michael Knight said:

Everybody hated the last Jedi, except for all those people buying it

 

 

 

https://www.syfy.com/syfywire/star-wars-weekly-the-last-jedi-blows-away-black-panther-and-lando-is-back
 

Welp, there you have it, case closed.

 

I also used to think Tyler Perry's Madea movies were terrible....UNTIL I LEARNED THEY HAD MADE $1.5 BILLION WORLDWIDE!!!!!!

My eyes are finally opened.

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Michael Knight

Michael Knight 12989

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5 hours ago, rage-a-holic said:

Welp, there you have it, case closed.

 

I also used to think Tyler Perry's Madea movies were terrible....UNTIL I LEARNED THEY HAD MADE $1.5 BILLION WORLDWIDE!!!!!!

My eyes are finally opened.

Except the argument has been the critics were lying and the truth was all the fans hated it. If that's true who the fuck is buying all of them?

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ChickenSandwich

ChickenSandwich 9843

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9 hours ago, Michael Knight said:

Everybody hated the last Jedi, except for all those people buying it

 

 

 

https://www.syfy.com/syfywire/star-wars-weekly-the-last-jedi-blow

9 hours ago, Michael Knight said:

Everybody hated the last Jedi, except for all those people buying it

 

 

 

https://www.syfy.com/syfywire/star-wars-weekly-the-last-jedi-blows-away-black-panther-and-lando-is-back
 

s-away-black-panther-and-lando-is-back
 

This article is missing something........hmmm

They compare sales of TLJ to Black Panther?  Why would they do that?  Because sales are almost half of what TFA made (near 200 million in home sales).  Why not apples to apples?

There are plenty of Star Wars people who are Simply completing their collection. Also those who were so disappointed in the theater they bought it anyway just to be sure. 

They can spin it however they want, but they are just polishing a turd 

 

https://www.the-numbers.com/movie/Star-Wars-Ep-VII-The-Force-Awakens#tab=summary

https://www.the-numbers.com/movie/Star-Wars-Ep-VIII-The-Last-Jedi#tab=summary

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Surly Bevo

Surly Bevo 25075

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I've decided this is the worst of all the Star Wars movies.  

If you asked me why I thought AOTC was the worst movie I would have lots of things I could lay out but at the core gut/instinct level what was the worst is it took the character of Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader and made him an emo pussy for the bulk of the picture.  But really if you think about it we had never seen Anakin on screen before (except for the very end of RoTJ when he is croaking) and so other than a few lines from Obi Wan about him being a cunning warrior and a good friend there isn't a prior groundwork or logical reason why he couldn't be an emo pussy.  In fact had the whole thing been done better there and in the next movie it could have sort have been interesting to watch a well developed transition from emo pussy to bad motherfucker (it was not done well)

This present piece of garbage takes the character of Luke Skywalker, who we have SEEN over the course of three films transition from being sort of a whiny dreamer teenager (not sure Luke was ever an emo pussy) to a hardened, wise and heroic man, and turns him into an emo pussy.  

Both films suck at an instinctual level for me because of the way the Skywalker is portrayed in each of them.  At least with the first one if Kathleen Kennedy came up to me and said "how are you so sure that Anakin Skywalker wasn't an emo pussy?" I wouldn't necessarily have an answer based in a lot of evidence whereas if she asked the same about Luke with regard to TLJ I would say, "because you fucking spent three films SHOWING me he wasn't an emo pussy bitch"

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mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5214

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3 hours ago, Surly Bevo said:

This present piece of garbage takes the character of Luke Skywalker, who we have SEEN over the course of three films transition from being sort of a whiny dreamer teenager (not sure Luke was ever an emo pussy) to a hardened, wise and heroic man, and turns him into an emo pussy.  

3eJLtkqqSyioRgz0xzGP_nafV1sAPS2IEeqrMfVF

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Dutchrudder

Dutchrudder 11141

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On 9/8/2018 at 7:39 AM, ChickenSandwich said:

This article is missing something........hmmm

They compare sales of TLJ to Black Panther?  Why would they do that?  Because sales are almost half of what TFA made (near 200 million in home sales).  Why not apples to apples?

There are plenty of Star Wars people who are Simply completing their collection. Also those who were so disappointed in the theater they bought it anyway just to be sure. 

They can spin it however they want, but they are just polishing a turd 

 

https://www.the-numbers.com/movie/Star-Wars-Ep-VII-The-Force-Awakens#tab=summary

https://www.the-numbers.com/movie/Star-Wars-Ep-VIII-The-Last-Jedi#tab=summary

It's selling about as many video copies as Rogue One did, but it's still way behind TFA. 

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SuingToGetAMessageBoard?

SuingToGetAMessageBoard? 3861

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43 minutes ago, ChickenSandwich said:

I’d imagine Solo will be similar to RO and TLJ. The built in audience will buy it no matter what and put it next to the prequels 

I can personally attest to attenuation of the built in audience.  I am prime Star Wars demographic, own the OT in various formats throughout the years, watched all three prequels a few times, TFA, RO, TLJ.  For the first time I've completely skipped a SW movie with Solo.  The likelihood of me ever watching it will be no more and no less than any other random movie I come across on Netflix one day once I've burned through every movie I'm actually interested in seeing.  I assume more and more people are breaking that way each new movie.  Built in audience is getting smaller.

 

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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 89735

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6 minutes ago, SuingToGetAMessageBoard? said:

The likelihood of me ever watching it will be no more and no less than any other random movie I come across on Netflix one day once I've burned through every movie I'm actually interested in seeing.  I assume more and more people are breaking that way each new movie.  Built in audience is getting smaller.

Disney's deal with Netflix ends this year.  Solo might make it on there, but I'm not sure, and if it does, will only be up for a few months. 

After that, all new Star Wars/Marvel/Pixar stuff will be confined to either Hulu or Disney's new service (which maybe packaged with Hulu).

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XYZ

XYZ 2154

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5 hours ago, SuingToGetAMessageBoard? said:

I can personally attest to attenuation of the built in audience.  I am prime Star Wars demographic, own the OT in various formats throughout the years, watched all three prequels a few times, TFA, RO, TLJ.  For the first time I've completely skipped a SW movie with Solo.  The likelihood of me ever watching it will be no more and no less than any other random movie I come across on Netflix one day once I've burned through every movie I'm actually interested in seeing.  I assume more and more people are breaking that way each new movie.  Built in audience is getting smaller.

 

Same here. I was a kid when Star Wars came out. Watched those movies a bunch of times as a kid and as an adult. Skipped Solo because of the shitty TLJ. I don't know if I will watch episode 9.

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