Jump to content

Last Jedi Was So Bad I Only Saw It Twice

Eskimohorn

By Eskimohorn
in Movies and TV

 Share

Recommended Posts

Eskimohorn

Eskimohorn 5635

Posted
Posted

Good

Hyperspace Kamikaze

Grizzled Luke

Really Ties Episodes 1-3 Together

Rey’s Eyes

Blood Sand

 

Bad

Casino Planet Dead End

Contrived Girl Power

Contrived Humor

Leia Poppins

First Order Hijinks and Idiocy

Resistance Hijinks and Idiocy

Bombing Missions in Zero Gravity

 

Ugly

Rose

Leche de Verde

 

Did I miss anything?

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Replies 772
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

XYZ
XYZ

TLJ is the worst of the Star Wars movies, by a mile. SW movies are about badassery. Episode 4 has Vader, and Peter “one swift strrroke” Cushing, and old Kenobi who’s not up to the task anymore but fuc

BrickHorn
BrickHorn

There are four Star Wars movies: 1. Star Wars 2. The Empire Strikes Back 3. Return of the Jedi 4. Rogue One Everything else is garbage and, as far as I’m concerned, never happ

Deej
Deej

Posted Images

Surly Bevo

Surly Bevo 24908

Posted
Posted

Those goofy care taker creatures on the island with Luke and the attempt to create humor with them (ie ha ha they get mad when Rey slices the stone in half with the lightsaber and it almost falls on them after she had already shot a hole in one of the buildings) don't get enough hate

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Knoxtnhorn

Knoxtnhorn 5975

Posted
Posted

I get that bombing runs in zero g wouldn't work, but neither would lots of stuff in sci-fi.  I get the casino scene may have been too vast and expensive to cut from the final take.  Etc....

I do not, however, understand how anyone could have thought Leia Poppins was a good idea.  That was one of the dumbest things I've ever seen in my entire life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Eskimohorn

Eskimohorn 5635

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Just wait until[mention=13]Rimbo[/mention] comes in here to tell us about TLJs thoughts on the human condition. It will blow your mind.


Thats why I started thus thread-he was wasting space in the last great movie thread. I can understand TLJ being considered pretty good by some, but a great movie?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
C-Man

C-Man 27222

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Tom said:

I enjoyed it, but I don't find any of the Star Wars are worth seeing more than once or twice.  

 

Still better than all of the prequels, which are completely unwatachable.  

This. And it's still a pretty lousy movie. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Hanrahan

Hanrahan 1306

Posted
Posted

The Last Jedi is the only Star Wars movie I have seen once. I walked out of the theatre like the Jacksonville Jaguars guy. Sequels were shit show train wrecks destined to be shit from the drawing board. TLJ had the raw pieces to be a good to awesome story. But the story line was shit. Just dumb. Luke’s final run was shit. Rose is a mongoloid twat. Benecio del Toro had no business in the movie. I’ll shut up now with confidence these feelings plus others have been rehashed ad nauseam.

 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
aggie08

aggie08 21501

Posted
Posted (edited)

I had many, many complaints about TFA (namely playing it safe with a re-hash, making the original trilogy basically meaningless to the history of the galaxy, calling it a "map to Luke" instead of a may to the first temple, etc.), but at least it was a well done, fun, cohesive movie.

I watched TLJ and TFA on consecutive days recently, and it's unreal how bad TLJ fares in the comparison. Just as utter, incredibly stupid, nonsensical mess.

I mean, fuck, arguably the coolest moment completely undoes the entire franchise. Next time they build a Deathstar type weapon, just lightspeed a lone X-wing through it!

Edited by aggie08
Link to comment
Share on other sites
El Diablo

El Diablo 4232

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, Hate said:

It was by far the worst of any of the Star Wars movies. I have no desire to ever see it again. It may have destroyed my desire to see any future Star Wars movies as well.

User name checks out.

 

4 hours ago, Red Five said:

I️ hope I️ never see it again.

Scrong sentiment considering username.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
ChickenSandwich

ChickenSandwich 9834

Posted
Posted
17 minutes ago, aggie08 said:

I had many, many complaints about TFA (namely playing it safe with a re-hash, making the original trilogy basically meaningless to the history of the galaxy, calling it a "map to Luke" instead of a may to the first temple, etc.), but at least it was a well done, fun, cohesive movie.

I watched TLJ and TFA on consecutive days recently, and it's unreal how bad TLJ fares in the comparison. Just as utter, incredibly stupid, nonsensical mess.

I mean, fuck, arguably the coolest moment completely undoes the entire franchise. Next time they build a Deathstar type weapon, just lightspeed a lone X-wing through it!

Exactly this. Shocking difference in movies. You finish the first with some possible new heroes. By the end of TLJ you wanted to replace Finn and drive into a wall. TNT now showing TFA will only make the sentiment grow. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5211

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Hanrahan said:

The Last Jedi is the only Star Wars movie I have seen once. I walked out of the theatre like the Jacksonville Jaguars guy. Sequels were shit show train wrecks destined to be shit from the drawing board. TLJ had the raw pieces to be a good to awesome story. But the story line was shit. Just dumb. Luke’s final run was shit. Rose is a mongoloid twat. Benecio del Toro had no business in the movie. I’ll shut up now with confidence these feelings plus others have been rehashed ad nauseam.

 

NFL-cheerleader-GIFs-busty-dolphins-chee

Link to comment
Share on other sites
kopp0e

kopp0e 1135

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 4/6/2018 at 11:21 PM, David Dennison said:

It was OK. I think it's just enough already with the Star Wars stuff. 

Well, since it is a part of a major entertainment corporation as Disney, expect to seem many more iterations over the next decade...

Quote

Disney and LucasFilm are planning at least 12 more movies throughout the next decade and a half.

Hope you love Star Wars, cause there's a whole lot more planned throughout the next decade and a half. If we're to believe Disney CEO Bob Iger, we're looking at upwards of at least 12 movies before 2030. Perhaps more, if Disney decides it wants to release more than one movie a year.

"We're starting talk about what could happen after Episode IX. About what could be another decade-and-a-half of Star Wars stories."

https://movieweb.com/star-wars-movies-planned-through-2030/

Edited by kopp0e
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Hugo Stiglitz

Hugo Stiglitz 23367

Posted
Posted (edited)

I think many of us grew up on the Star Wars movies and they are fantastic but we often forget that we were kids when we were introduced to these films.

The new Star Wars films are not supposed to appeal to middle aged white guy from the burbs. 

Don’t get me wrong Episodes 1-3 were bad but these new films are much better by comparison and the positive messaging remains consistent and strong in the new movies. These are really movies for children.

Nevertheless, the new batch could be better.

At least The Last Jedi didn’t have another fucking Death Star to blow up.

Edited by Hugo Stiglitz
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Buzzrock

Buzzrock 14920

Posted
Posted

My 8 and 11 year olds both said it was meh as they walked out of the theater. They loved TFA and Rogue One.

I think a lot of the nitpicks are stupid, but I admit I liked TLJ less on a second viewing whereas TFA pretty much holds up. I still think there are some good moments in TLJ, like most of the scenes with Rey and Ren. I’m still interested to see where that goes. And I like that they put a lot of ambiguity into the whole dark vs light conversation. Del Toro’s character was at least useful for some of that. The casino animal cruelty bit was terrible and the movie would have been better without Rose.

No idea how they solve for the ultimate weapon: an empty cruiser with a hyperdrive.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Robin Masters

Robin Masters 122

Posted
Posted

When Fin is getting his ass kicked by Phasma and all hope is lost and suddenly someone shoots the shit out of everything and saves the day, I totally expected that to be Benicio del Toro. They have rehashed everything else from the first 3 movies, why not a new Lando Calrissian, good guy goes bad but then goes good, and Benicio is a badass in everything he's in. Instead fucking BB-8 pops up. Kinda sums up the movie, incredible waste of potential.

The Force Awakens, holy fuck you did a mashup of the first 3 movies. WTF, do you really think there's even a 7 year old that hasn't seen those, that anyone is going into this fresh? But ok fine, whatever, you've set things up for the next one to be cool. Luke training Rey, that should be badass. Getting to see him at full old master Jedi power.

Rogue One, hey this is the best Star Wars movie since the original three. Maybe these Disney hacks aren't so bad afterall, can't wait to see what they come up with.

And then we get this steaming pile of shit with crazy amounts of huge ass plot holes, stupid ass virtue signaling subplots. (Killing rich people is fun and they deserve to die Casino, I'm looking at you.) and full power Luke is just he can send a hologram of himself across the galaxy, and we assume audiences these days are so stupid we have to show you about 5 times that look this guy is making footprints, this guy is not, hmmmm.

Unless the last movie somehow pulls the most amazing rabbit out of its ass, I think my kids will grow up only seeing the first 6 moves. Maybe when they are into the know it all teenage years I will show them the last three, just to show them they are about to embark into a very unfair, evil world, where good does not always conquer bad and big, evil corporations fuck everything up eventually.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Surly Bevo

Surly Bevo 24908

Posted
Posted
We need a vader movie. All vader, all ass kicking , all the time.


You will get 10 minutes of that and an hour and 50 of Vader sitting in his bacta tank emoting about why Padme had to die and how sand really sucks now that he has dead flesh and an itchy suit.
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
ajax

ajax 2611

Posted
Posted

Holdo was being trained as a Jedi by Leia. Just wait, in the next movie after Rey triumphs over the First Order she will be standing aside the Force ghosts of Leia, Holdo, and maybe Potato Tico.

Laura Dern Just Revealed a Key Detail That Changes Her Star Wars Character


This explains Vice Admiral Holdo's shocking ending.

From the first announcement that Laura Dern would be joining the Star Wars universe, her character immediately became a fan favorite. It's Laura Dern. In space. What could be better? Then we saw her purple hair and learned that she was a hero of the Resistance.

The Last Jedi's Vice Admiral Amilyn Holdo is one of the most complex characters in the Star Wars universe. She's a leader who's there to make the tough decisions—she's not there to be loved. She's not someone who respects the flashy showboating of Oscar Isaac's Poe Dameron. Holdo is also mysterious, not just because she keeps her plans close to the chest, but because of her minimal backstory and the celestial way in which Dern plays her.

It turns out, Dern had long conversations with The Last Jedi writer and director Rian Johnson about where Holdo came from—and according to a new interview with Entertainment Weekly, the character could use the Force.

“In their minds, and in their understanding of the origin story, we know that she was a true rebel in the Resistance, and in our culture we might have called her a hippie,” Dern tells EW. “But she was longing for peace, and a revolutionary in that way, and wanted to be trained by and led by Leia, who taught her everything she knew. She wanted to come up in the ranks to support Leia’s mission, but also had this otherworldly side that does involve the Force.”

Of course, that's not a stretch. Plenty of characters in the Star Wars universe have shown Force sensitivity even if they do not actually wield lightsabers or practice the Jedi ways. Leia, for example, has a strong connection with the Force.

As Dern tells EW, this explains why Holdo was willing to sacrifice herself with the controversial lightspeed maneuver at the end of The Last Jedi.

“Yeah, her primary goal was to protect the light, to protect the Force, and to keep the revolutionaries alive,” Dern tells EW. “And I think the film speaks so beautifully to that with this last image of the next generation of the Resistance, you know?”

And you thought Laura Dern couldn't get any cooler.

https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/movies/a19619267/laura-dern-admiral-holdo-force-death-star-wars/

Link to comment
Share on other sites
SpiralOut

SpiralOut 1813

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, ajax said:

Holdo was being trained as a Jedi by Leia. Just wait, in the next movie after Rey triumphs over the First Order she will be standing aside the Force ghosts of Leia, Holdo, and maybe Potato Tico.

 

 

Laura Dern was literally the worst thing about TLJ.  And that's saying something considering we had awful jokes and forced humor, nonsensical plotting, the complete betrayal and destruction of one of the most iconic characters in film, that annoying asian gal, and green titty milk.

 

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Rimbo

Rimbo 25924

Posted
Posted

We'll just have to agree to disagree.

There's a reason -- a bunch of reasons, really -- why the critics gave it such an overwhelmingly high rating (91% on the Tomatometer, and 96% among Top Critics).

I mean, if this thread is going to be an echo-chamber of people going:

Dumbfuck A: Oh God, that movie was SO STUPID.
Dumbfuck B: I know, right? It was JUST DUMB. And I hated that Korean chick, she was fat.
Dumbfuck C: Movie was THE WORST.
Someone Else: I really enjoyed how they set up the theme of failure and growth with all of the principals, how each was the person they needed to become at the end, and showing exactly how they had to learn from...
Dumbfuck A: NO IT'S STUPID AND YOU ARE STUPID. Also I hate Fat Korean Chick.
Dumbfuck D: Why couldn't this movie have been GOOD?

Yeah, not really interested in participating in that kind of discussion.

If the movie's so stupid, why is it that the people who hate it can't really intelligently explain what they dislike about it? Y'all keep mentioning "plot holes," and yet no one ever mentions what those plot holes supposedly are, usually because as soon as someone does, someone with an actual brain shows where if you actually paid attention to the movie, there was no plot hole there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
SpiralOut

SpiralOut 1813

Posted
Posted (edited)
46 minutes ago, Rimbo said:

We'll just have to agree to disagree.

There's a reason -- a bunch of reasons, really -- why the critics gave it such an overwhelmingly high rating (91% on the Tomatometer, and 96% among Top Critics).

I mean, if this thread is going to be an echo-chamber of people going:

Dumbfuck A: Oh God, that movie was SO STUPID.
Dumbfuck B: I know, right? It was JUST DUMB. And I hated that Korean chick, she was fat.
Dumbfuck C: Movie was THE WORST.
Someone Else: I really enjoyed how they set up the theme of failure and growth with all of the principals, how each was the person they needed to become at the end, and showing exactly how they had to learn from...
Dumbfuck A: NO IT'S STUPID AND YOU ARE STUPID. Also I hate Fat Korean Chick.
Dumbfuck D: Why couldn't this movie have been GOOD?

Yeah, not really interested in participating in that kind of discussion.

If the movie's so stupid, why is it that the people who hate it can't really intelligently explain what they dislike about it? Y'all keep mentioning "plot holes," and yet no one ever mentions what those plot holes supposedly are, usually because as soon as someone does, someone with an actual brain shows where if you actually paid attention to the movie, there was no plot hole there.

Critics gave it a high rating because it's Disney and Star Wars.  Disney owns most of the critics and you don't badmouth Star Wars as a critic unless you want to start getting death threats and/or be out of a job.  All of the Prequel films had awesome reviews from the critics when they came out.  So critic ratings mean exactly jack fucking shit in regards to Star Wars.

And plenty of us have intelligently explained why the movie was trash.  It's just over on Shaggy instead of here because this film came out months ago.

But to be fair I'll just reiterate one valid complaint I had that occurs right at the start of the film.

We start the movie off with General Hux (a psychotic Space Nazi who is supposed to be intimidating) about to annihilate some Rebels on Random Planet X.  They have a fancy Dreadnought ship that is going to fry all these fine folks we're supposed to be rooting for.  Then, our hero, Poe Dameron shows up and we're excited because he's going to save the day.  We have stakes, tension, and a great start to the movie.  Except then Poe literally crank calls Hux.  He then makes a "Your Mama" joke at Hux's expense.  Hux goes from confused to petulant child.  This is all played for laughs.  Then, immediately after Poe is single-handedly taking on the Dreadnought and Fat Korean Chick's sister and the Rebel's entire bomber fleet is getting massacred.  Culminating with Fat Korean Chick's sister having to martyr herself to drop the bombs and save the people on the planet.

So, there are so many things wrong here.  Some from a standpoint of the Star Wars universe, but many from just a basic film making perspective.

First, you don't emasculate your villains at the start of a movie.  General Hux is the guy who gave a Hitler-like speech in the previous film and gave the order to annihilate the entire Republic.  He's a bad dude who runs an army of brainwashed killers.  We're supposed to see him as a bad guy.  He's supposed to be at least somewhat intimidating.  But here he's made to look like a complete bumbling idiot.  He has now lost all the menace he'd gained from the first film.  Johnson cut the legs out from under this character in the first five minutes.

Second, a crank call?  Really?  Star Wars has always used humor.  That's fine.  But it was contained to snark, comebacks, and one-liners.  To really get a grip on how awful this whole joke sequence was, imagine if Lucas had decided that Luke or Han or someone needed to crank call Grand Moff Tarkin before he blew up Alderaan or was about to blow up Yavin and we had Tarkin screaming and yelling like a child during the entire thing after seeing him cool, calm, and collected earlier on.

Third, the tone is just all over the damn place.  First we're worried about the Rebels on the planet.  Then we're supposed to be laughing hysterically at Poe pulling Hux's pants down.  Then we immediately jump into heavy drama shit with the Rebel bombers getting wrecked and Fat Korean Chick's sister having to martyr herself.  So am I supposed to be laughing, or concerned for the well-being of the Rebels, or what?  Am I supposed to be taking this seriously or is it all just a joke? 

And this all happens at the very beginning of the movie.  It only gets worse from there.  I didn't have a problem with Johnson trying to do something different.  Problem is, he just made a bad movie.  I don't agree with the decisions he made in regards to where he took the characters/story, but it would have worked if he'd actually made a good film.  Instead this ended up looking like it was directed by some dude right out of film school who couldn't handle the pressure and who needed a more experienced hand backing him up. 

Edited by SpiralOut
  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Rimbo

Rimbo 25924

Posted
Posted (edited)
Quote

Critics gave it a high rating because it's Disney and Star Wars.  Disney owns most of the critics and you don't badmouth Star Wars as a critic unless you want to start getting death threats and/or be out of a job.  All of the Prequel films had awesome reviews from the critics when they came out.  So critic ratings mean exactly jack fucking shit in regards to Star Wars.

OK, let's get this one out of the way right: Critics hated the prequels when they came out. And assuming this is some kind of Disney Conspiracy is a flawless example of having stupid objections that do not fit the facts.

15 minutes ago, SpiralOut said:

So, there are so many things wrong here.  Some from a standpoint of the Star Wars universe, but many from just a basic film making perspective.

Without quoting your whole mess:

First off, this is an extremely heavy movie. It needed humor as often as possible.

Second, Hux is not now, and has not ever been, The Villain, nor was he ever, nor meant to be, "intimidating." He was a character abused and ridiculed in VII, and he continues that role here. He is yet another in a long line of Bureaucrat leaders that the REAL leaders, guys with names like Darth and Emperor, force-choke and abuse at will. Sure, he gave a "speech" in Episode VII -- where he sounded like a lunatic child in over his head... an outright buffoon. He wasn't intimidating at all. He looked like someone having an orgasm over having The Galaxy's Biggest Laser. He's playing power games with Kylo Ren and Phasma, as if he's not old enough to handle the power.

Quote

I don't agree with the decisions he made in regards to where he took the characters/story, but it would have worked if he'd actually made a good film.

And there it is again, as I said before: The "it's just a bad film" rhetoric, which cannot possibly stand scrutiny against facts and often even a mere second viewing of the film.

If you were somehow hoping by your response to demonstrate the Error Of My Ways, you could have at least avoided two things I explicitly called out previously when I mocked your foolish point of view.

For Christ's sake, guys. The kind of post I made above should be a softball for Internet Arguing, easily teed off upon. The last thing you should end up doing is actually fulfilling my caricature.

Edited by Rimbo
Link to comment
Share on other sites
aggie08

aggie08 21501

Posted
Posted (edited)

Rimbo is doing a bit, right?  No one can be this dumb.  No plot holes?  You have to be shitting me.

- Slow speed space chase where, allegedly, the Resistance ships are faster than their pursuers, but never actually gain any ground over the course of the movie

- Empire/First Order, who has never given the slightest fuck about stormtroopers, pulls all Tie-fighters back when they can't support them from the destroyers.  3 Ties blew up the entire bridge and hanger; how many would it have possibly taken to finish off the last Resistance ship?  A dozen?

- No one in the First Order thinks, "Gee, why don't we just lightspeed a destroyer in front of them and cut them off."

- Lightspeed super weapon.  Why didn't the black captain on the medical ship or the other smaller ship just take out the entire First Order fleet with their last ounce of fuel if this was always an option?  How many Deathstars could have just been driven through in the past?

- Holdo doesn't even give the crew a hint of the plan, causing completely unnecessary panic (Rose had to shock a few rebels trying to escape), stupid casino plans, and expectation of certain death.

- Poe learns that sometimes retreat is the wise move by...retreating from an absolutely essential suicide mission.  The fuck??  This part actually pissed me off.  The options were: 1) Take out the battering ram, buying them time to radio in help, or 2) Die trying.  That's it.  If they failed, they all died.  No one knew that ghost Luke would save the day.  Not only did Poe run away, but Rose then took Finn's moment, and, as far as they knew, doomed them all.   No one jumping on those rickety pieces of shit could have possibly expected to survive; it was a needed sacrifice.

50 minutes ago, SpiralOut said:

I didn't have a problem with Johnson trying to do something different.  Problem is, he just made a bad movie.

1000% this.  I could even look past what he did to Luke (Jedi who went to his almost certain death clinging to the hope that his father still had some good in him--only to have to faith reaffirmed--considers killing kid 10 years later) because I like the Ren/Rey angle, especially creating the only complicated character in Star Wars' history in Ren.  But the movie around all that was just...dumb, even for a Star Wars movie.

Edited by aggie08
  • Like 8
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...