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bad_teammate

bad_teammate 13132

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How politically aligned are you with your spouse/family?

How do you guys talk about it? Avoidance/hostility? Open and passionate debate with an understanding that it doesn't really impact your relationships?

I checked the mail yesterday evening and saw a piece of mail from Bernard Sanders and his campaign addressed to my wife. I have grown used to seeing Warren mail coming for her, including some bumper stickers a few months ago that she will never actually put on her car but felt good for her to purchase. As far as I knew, she was all Warren all the time because my wife and I don't really talk that much about politics because we mainly just agree with each other about everything. She knows I'm a Bernie Bro, of course, because I harass her constantly through the BERN app and my Bros and I loudly tell racist and sexist jokes at our weekly poker game/Kropotkin reading.

I asked her about the letter and she said she cancelled her recurring donation to Warren and set one up for Bernie because she likes AOC so much and kind of wanted to see which direction she would go. Also, she didn't say it at the time because she didn't want me to be "annoying about it", which I took great offense to because I think everyone here can agree I'm not annoying ever in any way.

My oldest sister is coming to Thanksgiving, and that's a different story. I'm basically the only person who will talk to her at this point because she's completely lost it and is a conductor on the MAGA train. Her kids can't stand her, her husband can't stand her (he's Republican, but doesn't care about politics). My wife can't stand her. Every conversational opening for politics is irresistible to my sister and she can't help herself, she's full of a savior's fire and needs everyone to know how important Donald Trump is for America. She loves who he loves and hates who he hates and will turn on the same dime he does when those statuses shift. And she cares more about being Donald's messenger than being wanted by her family. I was begged to not invite her, but I won't ever do that to my sister.

But it's ruined things for her in so many ways. She's not received invitations for baby showers, birthday parties, and more because her own kids don't want to deal with her.

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USMCHorn

USMCHorn 1369

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Im Black, and honestly Obama was more of a controversy for my family in terms of politics than Trump has ever been. We disagreed on how well of a job Obama was doing, though the general consensus was that he was doing well enough.

With Trump there is no ambiguity at all. We’re in complete agreement that that motherfucker sucks. He affirms it every time he opens his mouth. In fact, we’re so united on that belief that we hardly ever talk about him. What’s there to discuss?

Edited by USMCHorn
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Incredulity

Incredulity 11564

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15 minutes ago, bad_teammate said:

How politically aligned are you with your spouse/family?

How do you guys talk about it? Avoidance/hostility? Open and passionate debate with an understanding that it doesn't really impact your relationships?

I checked the mail yesterday evening and saw a piece of mail from Bernard Sanders and his campaign addressed to my wife. I have grown used to seeing Warren mail coming for her, including some bumper stickers a few months ago that she will never actually put on her car but felt good for her to purchase. As far as I knew, she was all Warren all the time because my wife and I don't really talk that much about politics because we mainly just agree with each other about everything. She knows I'm a Bernie Bro, of course, because I harass her constantly through the BERN app and my Bros and I loudly tell racist and sexist jokes at our weekly poker game/Kropotkin reading.

I asked her about the letter and she said she cancelled her recurring donation to Warren and set one up for Bernie because she likes AOC so much and kind of wanted to see which direction she would go. Also, she didn't say it at the time because she didn't want me to be "annoying about it", which I took great offense to because I think everyone here can agree I'm not annoying ever in any way.

My oldest sister is coming to Thanksgiving, and that's a different story. I'm basically the only person who will talk to her at this point because she's completely lost it and is a conductor on the MAGA train. Her kids can't stand her, her husband can't stand her (he's Republican, but doesn't care about politics). My wife can't stand her. Every conversational opening for politics is irresistible to my sister and she can't help herself, she's full of a savior's fire and needs everyone to know how important Donald Trump is for America. She loves who he loves and hates who he hates and will turn on the same dime he does when those statuses shift. And she cares more about being Donald's messenger than being wanted by her family. I was begged to not invite her, but I won't ever do that to my sister.

But it's ruined things for her in so many ways. She's not received invitations for baby showers, birthday parties, and more because her own kids don't want to deal with her.

giphy.gif

 

No fucking way you're married.

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Zombie

Zombie 284

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I'm fortunate that my siblings, spouses, and parents are all aligned and progressive. But there are plenty of right wing uncles and cousins and ever since a Trump love fest a few holidays ago, I've stopped attending those larger family holiday gatherings. It's just too depressing to hear such stupid and hateful opinions from people I used to have some affection for. 

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Chuckie Finster

Chuckie Finster 22600

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My wife purposefully avoids politics at almost all costs.  We're generally aligned on most issues, so much so that she asks "so who are we voting for?" before every election.  I try to educate her on the candidates, but she really doesn't care much.

My parents have gone hard GOP since the kids left the house.  Guns were never mentioned in my entire childhood, now my Mom says things like "the second amendment is our most important right as citizens," and so on.  It's tough, because on the whole I still have a very good relationship with both of them.  But we both know to avoid the issue of politics around one another, so it's strange to have some of the most important issues out there be off limits to the people who I have gone to for venting/advice all of my life.

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lemonlime

lemonlime 5503

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My immediate family, including boomer mother and sibliings and their families, are all if not liberal, at least horrified by Trump and the current Trumpy GOP.  Dreading Thanksgiving though.  Especially my uber conservative uncle who won't shut up about politics.  Last Thanksgiving, a few months after my father died, he kept trying to bait me into a political debate, ending with "Your father would always discuss politics with me," apparently because I didn't want to get into a fight during Thanksgiving dinner.  Not looking forward to this year.

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Iceman

Iceman 2640

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My wife and I are aligned fiscally. She’s a little more conservative socially.

We do talk politics/ issues of the day regularly and brought up our boys to think through their beliefs and opinions.  Both of us grew up in this environment.  I can remember so many times,my mother would challenge my two brothers and I, “ Don’t say what you think I will agree with, be able to say why you feel the way you do( on an issue.)” Both sets of grandparents welcomed these discussions at the dinner table/ living room.

I generally don't bring politics up at bigger family gatherings, especially her side.  I don’t wanna be that guy.  They can guess most of my thoughts by how we live day to day and raised our family. If asked, I will share my thoughts; but it’s never in an attempt to change someone’s mind.  Usually their 6 divorces or 2 kids in and out of prison speak for themselves... “Oh you haven’t kept a job for most of your adult life, have constantly bummed off the family, and want to rail against those on welfare...?”  Or “ You have all of these fabulous ideas on parenting, but your kids absolutely disrespect you and are total shitheads.” I typically walk out of the room to get a beer or cut my wrists when it starts down that path...

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Sbbruin

Sbbruin 21734

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I have always been a registered Republican.  My wife an independent.  Her family is all very conservative.  But I retired my GOP jersey the moment the goon won the GOP nomination.  I could not be more opposed to an individual than I am to him.  But her brothers and Dad (RIP) are/were Trumpers.  Not hardcore, because it is almost impossible to survive being an open Maga-ite out here except for a few small Orange County pockets.  But we are spending Thanksgiving with one of her brothers and his wife and some of her family from Louisiana who are Trumpers.  I will, at all costs, derail any conversation that heads down that path.  Nothing good can come from it.

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Goredho

Goredho 17348

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51 minutes ago, bad_teammate said:

But it's ruined things for her in so many ways. She's not received invitations for baby showers, birthday parties, and more because her own kids don't want to deal with her.

That's a feature of Trumpism.  It creates a feedback loop where isolation promotes extremism at the same time extremism promotes isolation.  Those multiple against each other until you are eventually left with a blathering rage-filled idiot where your loved-one used to be.

I'm sorry for your loss.

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Huckleberry

Huckleberry 32701

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I don't talk politics much around the house. I don't tell my kids whom I support because I teach them moral values, not political parties.

It's discussed around my family more than my wife's family. Her beliefs strongly disagree with her parents'. Or at least her dad's. Her mom doesn't talk about politics either and has fairly obviously given my father-in-law explicit instructions not to talk about politics. But even around my family when they start getting super political I shift the subject once it gets to be a bit much. My dad and brother are both lawyers so they end up in shouting matches even when they agree on the bottom line.

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bad_teammate

bad_teammate 13132

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12 minutes ago, Sbbruin said:

I will, at all costs, derail any conversation that heads down that path.  Nothing good can come from it.

I am a judo master at this. I've basically always had radically different politics than most of my family and as you all know I feel passionately about them, but I also really love my family and love gatherings and all the kids/grandkids having fun. As soon as anything edges on political I am surprisingly good at doing the "yeah, <insert banal common ground idea that no one can actually argue with>, so anyway...".

I'm sure everyone knows what I'm doing, but 90% of them appreciate it. It makes my sister furious, but this is probably the only time she's going to see her own grandkids this year so I'll deal with it.

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JimmyJames

JimmyJames 12271

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Wife is more liberal than me, brother more conservative but thinks trump is an idiot, his wife is super liberal, my mom is on whatever side of the political spectrum you happen to be on that moment, and my Dad is a hardcore trumpkin who I believe has been brainwashed by Fox News. A lot of relatives are either bush type republicans or Ann Richards type dems. 

It’s pretty manageable actually. 

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MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8349

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My friends and family are tediously aligned....Except for one of my in-laws who is even worse than a Trumper: he's an Alex Jones-er. Or maybe even beyond that, like someone who believes that Jones is CIA. He goes on and on and on about every conspiracy you've ever heard and introduces new ones. It sounds more fun than it is, believe me. 

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Rougarou

Rougarou 594

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Extended family is full of regular white folk decorum-focused-boring centrists with a couple of dumb Trumpkins and a couple of younger Commies sprinkled in; like the black guy above said about his family, 90% of us agree that things/Trump sucks but aren’t politically active or interested otherwise so it never comes up. I’ve read articles and threads about political conversations at holidays and always thought that was so weird and fake.

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Rougarou

Rougarou 594

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To the OP title though, one thing I’ve always thought was weird was Kellyane and her husbands relationship. How is that a loving and healthy relationship? They backbite and talk crap to each other on Twitter all day and then get home “hi honey, how was work?”

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Js1

Js1 85109

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9 minutes ago, Rougarou said:

 I’ve read articles and threads about political conversations at holidays and always thought that was so weird and fake.

Right? Holidays are for getting drunk and watching football, not 

Image result for pajama boy

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Rougarou

Rougarou 594

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Exactly. In a lot of ways, itching to bring up and talk about politics within your immediate and extended family is asking for trouble and nobody should feel sorry for your crappy time because you have asked for it. Put the ego aside, as badteammate claims he does, and show some graciousness and humility and tolerance and try to enjoy the people who are closest in DNA to you (or married into the family). That doesn't mean just let your Trumpkin family member blather on racistly or hatefully, but I don't think a host is out of bounds by saying "Thank you for your opinion but this house/get-together isn't going to engage in any divisive conversation due to the diversity of opinions and beliefs and we want to have a good time and hear about other things you have going on in your life" or something like that.

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BradInATX

BradInATX 9208

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My family is almost all successful, well-adjusted, and passably intelligent, so of course there are no Trump supporters. Pre-Trump it was varying left, from far left to center-left or even right in the middle, and there'd be some spirited but good debates around the holidays. Now we're all fully aligned against Trump and against anyone in the GOP who has enabled him (read: all of them) for as long as they're in office. 

Wife's side (sans wife) is largely GOP voters and Trump voters, almost solely on the basis of abortion. They all admit that Trump is terrible but they're so devoutly religious that they can't imagine voting for a "pro-abortion" candidate. I've tried to get them to think about it critically, IE the Supreme Court has been conservative for decades and nothing has happened to Roe. I usually make some inroads but not enough to get them to change their mind. 

I don't push that hard though. We don't really have political discussions, and everyone likes each other, so it is what it is. I don't agree with them but if you're truly a single-issue abortion voter, I can't really argue with you voting GOP. Holidays with them are pleasant, if not a bit boring because nobody really drinks or does anything cool to create interesting conversation.

I don't have any actual Trump true believers in my family or immediate social circles because I don't associate with stupid assholes.

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Helobious

Helobious 9481

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Pretty much my entire family was good old-fashioned hispanic catholic conservative up through my youth. Raised on the work hard, go to school, respect others, family over everything, etc. value system. Both my parents & almost all my aunts and uncles were hardcore GWB supporters for example (he was actually somewhat popular with the Latino community in Texas). As the anti-immigrant rhetoric on the right ramped up over the years and started blurring with just anti-hispanic settlement, more and more in my family disassociated with the Republicans.  Then trump came along and now I don’t think there’s any republicans left in my family. 
 

I have a few very liberal relatives, including my sister, but most of my family isn’t political at all and we don’t talk about politics much. I always viewed passionate political opinions as being on par with passionate sports opinions. What control do you have over any of it, really. 

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BradInATX

BradInATX 9208

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2 minutes ago, Huckleberry said:

You haven't slipped in any mentions of Trump paying his mistresses to have abortions?

I have, and they're definitely disgusted by his "deviance". They know he's a scumbag and they don't defend him the person. But they basically believe that he's worth that minute chance of Roe v Wade getting overturned - which of course isn't going to happen.

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bad_teammate

bad_teammate 13132

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"Well I can see you're awfully worked up about property taxes, tell you what, let's go relax I'll let you look at my Citori while we have a scotch that is actually kind of cheap but you'll think is expensive because I put it in this nice decanter I stole from a rival company 20 years ago during a Christmas party."

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Goredho

Goredho 17348

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58 minutes ago, bad_teammate said:

The Internet is for yelling about politics and looking at pictures of women.

The home is for talking crap about Aggies and re-telling the same old memories while drinking.

Unless you're far right, then the intardnet is for yelling about women and looking at pictures of politics.

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The Royal We

The Royal We 3065

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Wife and her family have always been and remain much more liberal than me.  My side of the family has always been more conservative than me and now think I'm left of Marx because I don't bend the knee for Trump.  I enjoy a spirited discussion with my immediate family but do have a few uncles who cannot keep their cool any longer when having a discussion about politics.  Fox News has completely rotted their brains and stolen their ability to think critically.  I can remember Thanksgivings from childhood and being at the kids table while some very healthy debates took place at the grownup's table.  Everyone kept their cool, did not getting frustrated, and still loved each other when it was over.

We now have Thanksgiving at our house and have family from all over the place come over.  I had to tell my mom earlier this year that they were invited but a certain uncle was not.  I know that means my parents won't come because they always spend Thanksgiving with my aunt and uncle.  She wasn't upset at all and totally got where I was coming from.  I know this dude can't stay calm and I don't want my kids and my wife's family subjected to his BS yelling when the conversation inevitably turns to politics, and it will because he would probably wear a Trump 2020 t-shirt to Thanksgiving.  I actually enjoyed dunking on him the last time we got into a political discussion (around the time Mueller was getting going), but my kids were already asleep and didn't have to witness the carnage.  It's sad and I hope that things can return to normal in a post-Trump world, but I don't know if that is possible.

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Hank Kingsley

Hank Kingsley 20697

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Wife - we generally agree on everything, but she's just not ready to talk too much about it. She can't stand Trump and doesn't enjoy the primary process either. 

My dad - I've worked on him for years. Got him to vote for Bernie in '16. He likes Pete and Bernie this year. But he's Iranian, and somehow believes Trump can save Iran. I'm assuming he's getting this shit from Facebook or something. In the end he'll vote for the D nominee, but he won't be upset with Trump. Fuck.  Mom doesn't care for politics. 

One set of in-laws - Full on Trumpers. Fox News on all day and night. Wealthy, country club types. 

Other set of in-laws - He's a lifelong Republican, but hates Trump and will vote for the D nominee . She's a liberal and will happily vote for any D. 

 

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Burt

Burt 4062

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My wife is not political at all.  We both agree that Trump eats shit straight from the hole but that's the extent of it.  

As for the rest of my family, most all of them live in Bowie/Cass/Miller (Ark) counties, so I'm pretty much on a libtard island all alone.  I try to discuss politics with them when I go back and visit, but they will no longer engage.  Having a black man as president immediately follow by Trumpopotamus has pretty much ruined my relationship with all but one of my dad's five sisters and their families.

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Pescado_Rojo

Pescado_Rojo 19331

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Mrs Rojo is completely apolitical, and has never voted on anything outside of an internet poll. My in-laws are rural Texas Republicans. My FIL isn’t a big Trump fan, though. My MIL spends all day on Fox News and even has the presets in her car set to Fox News radio on XM. She doesn’t dare talk politics around me because apparently the only thing she hates more than libs is getting embarrassed by real facts. It’s a shame because she is otherwise a sweet lady and an awesome grandma. My parents are old hippies and probably left of Bernie. 

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Woland

Woland 729

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I have to get to cousins before I can find a non-liberal, and even there they don’t express political views. My sister, BILs, and their children are firmly anti-Trump. Friends and acquaintances are a different matter, one of whom is way out there and played a role in a major conspiracy theory. Holidays with the family are nice because I don’t have to be careful with what I say.

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Post Oak

Post Oak 20184

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Wife and I are aligned.  She's liberal and pretty left of her.  But she's so smart I really value her thoughts. My immediate family are also never Trumpers.  

I suspect her mom and husband are Trumpkins but not overtly.

I was around my uncle and grandpa this last week and they were talking about how they hate Robert Deniro now because of what he said about Trump.  Among other things.  You can imagine.  So that's where we're at.

 

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Incredulity

Incredulity 11564

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14 minutes ago, Sbbruin said:

It can, and it will.  We just need to put this goon a good distance in the rearview mirror.

It's going to get worse.  Book it.

Not without a societal shift, technological advancement or gov't decree that decouples people from the feedback loop presented by the current excuses for "journalism/news".

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Underdog

Underdog 28455

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Wife has never been into politics and I've admittedly have been pretty casual about it but things have turned for her since dumbass has been elected.  She voted for the first time ever a couple of years ago(Blue Wave) and pretty much watches CNN/MSNB religiously.  She hate Trump, fearful another 4 years of him will do irreparable damage to both the U.S. and our allies. She's leaning more towards Pete and I'm Team Warren, most of my voting history is Republican but I went Dem with Obama(McCain had my vote until Palin).  I didn't vote last Presidential election, felt neither were worth my vote. 

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CooterBrown

CooterBrown 17907

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My wife and I are liberal. All of our friends are also. My parents are old school LBJ Democrats. My sister is a hardcore racist right winger who’d support murdering minorities and would happily don a cloak. No fucking idea what happened to her. Growing up our extended family were all Democrats also. My wife’s mom is very centralist and was a long time government teacher. No idea about her dad. Never met him. However, he’s from Iran and Muslim so he’s probably a terrorist. Her grandma is a hardcore Trumpkin who has Fox News in every waking moment. The rest of her family is so self centered and self medicated, I’m confident they’ve never voted and couldn’t name the president.

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sachick

sachick 1189

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My whole family hates trump except for my mom. She does that whole “why does everyone have to argue in politics” and was very hurt when her sisters got upset with her for voting for Cruz and therefore still supporting Trump. She’s catholic and votes on abortion primarily with my stepdad(an old white man) throwing in standard republican economy points. We don’t discuss politics. At all. But that will change after the holidays. I could deal with her voting Trump before we knew how he would be as president but I cannot deal with her continuing to support him. His not a political stance, it’s about morals and ethics.

I’m not married but there is no way in hell I could ever eat or marry someone who is a full on trumper. Again, I can disagree with policies but I can’t live with someone who is ok with putting kids in cages.

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