6figs/"Trust the Hamm" greatest hits

[Pato del Muerto 52510]

But seriously, why would you hire people like Taylor and Karen in a for profit business venture?  You’ve already admitted to needing to work different channels to try and get credentialed by the school as media. There is no special relationship between them and players and coaches.  I’m guessing his aggyscoop audience is piddling. Plus you have to work around his Keller Williams open houses and her Avon time. 

[Scholz 11944]

10 minutes ago, 6FigsHandler said:

Aggies (in general) being unrealistic about expectations and keeping our heads in the sand when it comes to our updates in the college football/recruiting world, and there's some validity there.

...but if you want to converse about that kind of stuff, that works both ways.

A) No, not some validity.  You and your fanbase are straight up brainwashed cultists with zero grasp of your place in either college football history or the current landscape.  Zero objectivity, not some.  Bunch of Jim Jones lemmings who convince each other of unending nonsense in an insulated feedback loop.  Here's a friendly tip: do something, then talk.  Until then STFU for the love of God.

B) Oh, you're going to tell us how it's going to be here and make veiled threats?  That should go well for you.  Lulz.

[6FigsHandler 16]

Just now, Pato del Muerto said:

But seriously, why would you hire people like Taylor and Karen in a for profit business venture?  You’ve already admitted to needing to work different channels to try and get credentialed by the school as media. There is no special relationship between them and players and coaches.  I’m guessing his aggyscoop audience is piddling. Plus you have to work around his Keller Williams open houses and her Avon time. 

lol about the open house stuff

We're actually creating a much larger site than just Taylor Hamm. Taylor will be one contributor of our site content, but we have a larger business model that will include a ton of video/written content, outside contributors/experts, game analysis from former players, etc. If we were just providing an outlet for Taylor's content, it would be a waste of all of the time and development we are putting into the site and instead could have just thrown up a quick Wordpress site with a vbulletin plugin. 

Additionally, it's funny that you think Karen is an employee. She's purely a user/poster who just happens to have 5x the number of posts as the third-most poster (which is an insane amount of posts, btw).  Hope that clears up some of the questions

[CL Horn 32]

11 minutes ago, 6FigsHandler said:

Cool, what would you like to talk about? Right now the only things directed my way are personal insults and bashings of Taylor/Karen, so I'm responding to those, but if we want to have a discussion about anything of substance, I'm all for it! 

My assumption is that the next response will be something like "Why would you hire someone like that shithead Hamm?", which gets us right back to where we were before with me responding with self-deprecating humor. 

Look, I get it, this is a thread to make fun of the AggieScoop stuff as well as Aggies (in general) being unrealistic about expectations and keeping our heads in the sand when it comes to our updates in the college football/recruiting world, and there's some validity there. Personally, I've been unreasonably optimistic about our team since going to games with my dad when I was 8, so there's truth to much of what is said here. I'm also not trying to make this thread into something that it's not, but if you want to converse about that kind of stuff, that works both ways.

You're right this thread is dedicated to the ridiculousness of hamm - we'll carry on..maybe post less? you don't have to respond to every post we make about hamm

[6FigsHandler 16]

3 minutes ago, Scholz said:

A) No, not some validity.  You and your fanbase are straight up brainwashed cultists with zero grasp of your place in either college football history or the current landscape.  Zero objectivity, not some.  Bunch of Jim Jones lemmings who convince each other of unending nonsense in an insulated feedback loop.  Here's a friendly tip: do something, then talk.  Until then STFU for the love of God.

B) Oh, you're going to tell us how it's going to be here and make veiled threats?  That should go well for you.  Lulz.

@CL Horn this is the kind of stuff you want me to have an actual conversation about, right?

[Scholz 11944]

Just now, 6FigsHandler said:

...we have a larger business model

 

Yes.  Apparently one that markets to an audience that won't pay you any money.  Shrewd.

[CL Horn 32]

Just now, 6FigsHandler said:

lol about the open house stuff

We're actually creating a much larger site than just Taylor Hamm. Taylor will be one contributor of our site content, but we have a larger business model that will include a ton of video/written content, outside contributors/experts, game analysis from former players, etc. If we were just providing an outlet for Taylor's content, it would be a waste of all of the time and development we are putting into the site and instead could have just thrown up a quick Wordpress site with a vbulletin plugin. 

Additionally, it's funny that you think Karen is an employee. She's purely a user/poster who just happens to have 5x the number of posts as the third-most poster (which is an insane amount of posts, btw).  Hope that clears up some of the questions

Is hamm aware of how off his sources and predictions are? not to mention the bathroom incident + little access to the program he has than most media

[Scholz 11944]

Just now, 6FigsHandler said:

@CL Horn this is the kind of stuff you want me to have an actual conversation about, right?

No.  We want you to go away.  Not sure how to be more clear on that point.

[CL Horn 32]

1 minute ago, Scholz said:

No.  We want you to go away.  Not sure how to be more clear on that point.

hahah 🤘

[6FigsHandler 16]

3 minutes ago, CL Horn said:

Is hamm aware of how off his sources and predictions are? not to mention the bathroom incident + little access to the program he has than most media

Ha, valid questions. We've discussed past situations and how to make sure we maintain strong relationships with the staff, provide accurate info, and do everything 100% by the book, because I don't want to have to deal with any black eyes for our company. 

[6FigsHandler 16]

8 minutes ago, Scholz said:

No.  We want you to go away.  Not sure how to be more clear on that point.

You seem to have a lot of anger inside. I'm glad you've found an outlet for that anger in the form of hating an entire fanbase instead of looking at people individually

[Scholz 11944]

Just now, 6FigsHandler said:

You seem to have a lot of anger inside. I'm glad you've found an outlet for that anger in the form of hating an entire fanbase instead of looking at people individually

Hey, you girls left and are too afraid to play so GTFO already.  Go away.  Go suck some more Bama dick.  It's what you do.

[SHOOTER12 8810]

2 hours ago, 6FigsHandler said:

For better or worse, this is me. Mostly worse in your eyes it seems

"Do not think you can excape them"

[SydneyCarton 48108]

28 minutes ago, 6FigsHandler said:

lol about the open house stuff

We're actually creating a much larger site than just Taylor Hamm. Taylor will be one contributor of our site content, but we have a larger business model that will include a ton of video/written content, outside contributors/experts, game analysis from former players, etc. If we were just providing an outlet for Taylor's content, it would be a waste of all of the time and development we are putting into the site and instead could have just thrown up a quick Wordpress site with a vbulletin plugin. 

Additionally, it's funny that you think Karen is an employee. She's purely a user/poster who just happens to have 5x the number of posts as the third-most poster (which is an insane amount of posts, btw).  Hope that clears up some of the questions

What the fuck does that even mean, you English-challenged, mouth-breathing, atavistic fucking waterhead? Why the fuck wouldn't you just say she has the X number of posts on anyone in the site. "Oh, she has the 4th most posts behind the 2nd biggest poster if you square root pi and divide by zero?"

You are a fucking idiot. 

[Scholz 11944]

I believe that was a personal indictment.  So happy, backwards hat guy?

[HtownHorn 14705]

1 hour ago, 6FigsHandler said:

Additionally, it's funny that you think Karen is an employee. She's purely a user/poster who just happens to have 5x the number of posts as the third-most poster (which is an insane amount of posts, btw).  Hope that clears up some of the questions

You do realize that she's a detriment.

Edited June 7, 2018 by HtownHorn

[Pato del Muerto 52510]

I thought there was going to be a segment with her, as posted by someone who insisted he was serious. Guess not. 

Not sure why you’d associate with her then, or why she was allowed around the event. 

[dingleberryswitzer 2724]

1 hour ago, 6FigsHandler said:

Ha, valid questions. We've discussed past situations and how to make sure we maintain strong relationships with the staff, provide accurate info, and do everything 100% by the book, because I don't want to have to deal with any black eyes for our company. 

Lol.  Just wait bro.  The black eyes are coning. You are going to have to give hamm some guidelines, and make them stupidly specific.  Such as: "do not get on a water ride with a hs boy. " "do not call a young black dude 'boy'" " do not follow hs boys into the bathroom." 

You know,  all the stuff normal men consider obvious  common sense.

[Chuckie Finster 22695]

In all my years of following recruiting, Taylor Hamm remains the only reporter that I have ever seen get openly mocked on social media by the high school kids he is being paid to cover.  

Somebody voluntarily going into business with that man is incomprehensible to me. 

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

1 minute ago, Chuckie Finster said:

Somebody voluntarily going into business with that man is incomprehensible to me. 

Yes, but let's be honest. It's just one of an almost infinite number of incomprehensible things that are suddenly clear when you remember just one word:  aggy.

 

[CL Horn 32]

20 minutes ago, Chuckie Finster said:

In all my years of following recruiting, Taylor Hamm remains the only reporter that I have ever seen get openly mocked on social media by the high school kids he is being paid to cover.  

Somebody voluntarily going into business with that man is incomprehensible to me. 

this

[CL Horn 32]

18 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Yes, but let's be honest. It's just one of an almost infinite number of incomprehensible things that are suddenly clear when you remember just one word:  aggy.

 

truth. 

[ShaggyBevo RIP 3868]

1 hour ago, Scholz said:

No.  We want you to go away.  Not sure how to be more clear on that point.

Now if we can get everyone to just put him on ignore.

[Enchubben 5510]

35 minutes ago, Chuckie Finster said:

In all my years of following recruiting, Taylor Hamm remains the only reporter that I have ever seen get openly mocked on social media by the high school kids he is being paid to cover.  

Somebody voluntarily going into business with that man is incomprehensible to me. 

This is spot on with the assumption that you are dealing with rational consumers and potential customers. However, aggy fans are idiots and irrational so you have to throw traditional business strategy out the window.  

[Mac8111 2107]

What if Karen is Jimbo’s side piece, and she moved to CS to keep banging him?

[Pato del Muerto 52510]

15 minutes ago, Mac8111 said:

What if Karen is Jimbo’s side piece, and she moved to CS to keep banging him?

Edited June 8, 2018 by Pato del Muerto

[markstanco 12577]

Ha, valid questions. We've discussed past situations and how to make sure we maintain strong relationships with the staff, provide accurate info, and do everything 100% by the book, because I don't want to have to deal with any black eyes for our company. 

Strong relationships with the staff while hamm works for you. Newsflash: because sumlin went away the Hamm situation didn't.

Also, hamm and accurate info. It's a rhetorical question, but does he provide accurate info? His CB is similar to my 7 year olds concerning recruiting.

Good luck bringing him on to your staff. I would tell exactly zero people in college station you are associating with him in your venture, you will be black balled.

[UT Lawnghorn 758]

9 hours ago, Chuckie Finster said:

In all my years of following recruiting, Taylor Hamm remains the only reporter that I have ever seen get openly mocked on social media by the high school kids he is being paid to cover.  

Somebody voluntarily going into business with that man is incomprehensible to me. 

Hamm's schtick would only have a chance to work with about five schools' fanbases in the entire country. It's 5x more likely to work with aggy than the amount its likely to work with third-most likely to be successful with school's fanbase (which is an insane amount, btw).  

[TexasToast 728]

32 minutes ago, UT Lawnghorn said:

Hamm's schtick would only have a chance to work with about five schools' fanbases in the entire country. It's 5x more likely to work with aggy than the amount its likely to work with third-most likely to be successful with school's fanbase (which is an insane amount, btw).  

[Machinator 32099]

[Machinator 32099]

[Machinator 32099]

Per LonghornFrenzy: "Crazy Karen is asking Hamm to tell Shepherd to call her"

[Machinator 32099]

Karen probably needs a thread of her own at this point:

[Neonmoon 38129]

I love how they are actively telling recruits they will give them money on a non-anonymous public forum. 

[Pato del Muerto 52510]

Karen sees that all the other aggy are going to make her precious look bad.  Should be a spectacular crash. 

[BurntOrangeCrush 1011]

5 minutes ago, Machinator said:

Holy shit people pay for this stuff? I think I will start a recruiting page with subscribers for my "inside scoop". I already have a business plan with key strategic dynamics.

I will start my posts with "Working to Confirm". Ready?

"Working to confirm. I have been hearing that Leal still really loves UT and his family is telling him that he pulled the trigger too quickly. We all know he was blown away early by Herman and after things have settled out, he is thinking about decommitting. I happen to know that Leal was with his cousin today looking at UT T-shirts and burnt orange backpacks at Academy. Maybe for an UOV to Austin? WIll pass along more info going forward."

[Sejjr 3246]

Karen is figuring it out. Her level of crazy can’t come close to what she is seeing around her now. 

[lemonandaturd 4285]

So the new site will have content from contributors, experts and former players?

The lineup:

8 am:  Ovaries on the Table hosted by Karen 

9 am   Dancing and Purple Dranking with Johnny Jolly

10 am  Bathroom Hijinks with Taylor Hamm

11 am Roundtable on CSPD  hosted by Jorrie Adams, the Bennett brothers, and a number of former aggy Fulmer Cup honorees

noon  Jacking Off in Public hosted by former aggy offensive linemen and multiple bonfar dudes

1 pm Jim Rome on aggy

 

 

[WBT 20588]

21 hours ago, dingleberryswitzer said:

Lol.  Just wait bro.  The black eyes are coning. You are going to have to give hamm some guidelines, and make them stupidly specific.  Such as: "do not get on a water ride with a hs boy. " "do not call a young black dude 'boy'" " do not follow hs boys into the bathroom." 

You know,  all the stuff normal men consider obvious  common sense.

wait, what?  How did I miss this one?

[lemonandaturd 4285]

So this booster Karen is openly asking another booster Hamm to have Shepard call her so she and Paul Pesek can discuss "raising aggy's game"?   Holy shit, they are a bunch of morons.  

[Sejjr 3246]

Karen is a stalker, not a booster. Hamm is also a stalker. The closest Hamm gets to being a booster, is the chair he sits in. 

[Machinator 32099]

52 minutes ago, Machinator said:

Karen probably needs a thread of her own at this point:

Apparently Karen deleted these posts (or someone did, at least).

Edited June 8, 2018 by Machinator

[Scholz 11944]

1 hour ago, WBT said:

wait, what?  How did I miss this one?

Kid on the left was their Mac McWhorter sunshine special OT in last year's class (Colten Blanton?).  When he was a high schooler.

 

 

Edited June 8, 2018 by Scholz

[Machinator 32099]

For what it's worth, I think Blanton was a good prospect. But that first picture is a timeless Hamm classic.

[Scholz 11944]

He may be big but GD he reminds me of someone.

 

 

 

[Chopper 17236]

1 hour ago, Sejjr said:

Karen is figuring it out. Her level of crazy can’t come close to what she is seeing around her now. 

She's posted a billion times on Hamm's facebook page and pays for the privilege. Well beyond crazy. 

[Hank Scorpio 17729]

He smiles with his eyes. 

[Machinator 32099]

[Machinator 32099]

[Machinator 32099]

Hamm, via LonghornFrenzy:

Quote

1. Shepherd still might show up today
2. Staff is pushing for commitments
3. aggy is in the pole position to land Jeffrey Carter.
4. The 2 florida Olineman will commit to aggy
5. Should see about 3 commits this weekend