6figs/"Trust the Hamm" greatest hits

[Fud 9555]

3 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

He might comp his kid a subscription. Might be the only way to talk to him. 

[BigHorn'13 3387]

4 hours ago, Katfid54 said:

 

3 hours ago, lemonandaturd said:

Is this the look when Hamm's little boy tells Daddy that he is a huge Texas Longhorn fan?  

Nope. Ms. Hamm told lil hamm "I'm fucking that guy now." Hamster asked which one and she said "all of them."

[Treefidy 1469]

8 hours ago, texaslong said:

Is Hamm one of the A&M CEO's that they brag about?

They are actually tied with Michigan with 4 each, but you know aggy.  

2 of them are oil and gas, 2 of them are insurance salesmen.  Conspicuously missing are Con-Ag and John Deere

[Spawn of Cthulhu 2241]

14 hours ago, Treefidy said:

They are actually tied with Michigan with 4 each, but you know aggy.  

2 of them are oil and gas, 2 of them are insurance salesmen.  Conspicuously missing are Con-Ag and John Deere

Daddy98 is that successful?

[Pato del Muerto 52598]

17 minutes ago, Spawn of Cthulhu said:

Daddy98 is that successful?

There’s like 500,000 aggy former students and their families, most still in southeast Texas, and all going out of their way to make sure they only do business with fellow ags. Plus the T-shirt fans. 

Edited August 4, 2018 by Pato del Muerto

[Sejjr 3246]

As if Crazy Karen wasn't creepy enough:

[Dbeasy 15092]

Good lord. I vomited a little.

[Sejjr 3246]

Jimbo’s secret weapon is a pedo Bag Lady. 

[lemonandaturd 4285]

How does that Florida transplant have so much access to aggy players, practice, and team functions?    She is either Brewster's side piece or Jimbo's girlfriend.  

[Sejjr 3246]

8 minutes ago, lemonandaturd said:

How does that Florida transplant have so much access to aggy players, practice, and team functions?    She is either Brewster's side piece or Jimbo's girlfriend.  

Why not both?

It really is bizarre. Nobody just moves across the country to follow a “dreamy” head coach, and rather than be arrested for stalking, she gets access? This bitch is a fucking bag lady, that’s the only explanation. 

[Irwin F Fletcher 3550]

26 minutes ago, Sejjr said:

Why not both?

It really is bizarre creepy. Nobody just moves across the country to follow a “dreamy” head coach, and rather than be arrested for stalking, she gets access? This bitch is a fucking bag lady, that’s the only explanation. 

There I fixed it.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

The one thing your most successful serial killers and other murderous psychos have in common down through history is a sense of self-confidence that allows them to brazenly ignore social norms and just barge in without an invitation. Seems like Jimbo's leading fan has a lot in common with Yolanda Saldívar.

Edited August 5, 2018 by Walden Ponderer
I ain't givin' you no stinkin' reason.

[RabidM 2668]

I think Karen's next job might be doctor for the Ohio St. wrestling team. 

[ClubWhatever 12158]

34 minutes ago, Sejjr said:

This bitch is a fucking bag lady, that’s the only explanation. 

Even if true, it's still bizzare.  She has no prior connection to the school.  If Jimbo were to replace Orgeron next year, she would follow him there and A&M would go back to being nothing but the butt of an occasional joke to her.   The exact inverse of what would happen with a typical bag man. Maybe Jimbo's wife did not fulfill the Program Mama role or turned it into a MILF role, so he's allowing this stalker to do it.  Weird.

[Dennis Taylor 18871]

1 hour ago, Walden Ponderer said:

The one thing your most successful serial killers and other murderous psychos have in common down through history is a sense of self-confidence that allows them to brazenly ignore social norms and just barge in without an invitation. Seems like Jimbo's leading fan has a lot in common with Yolanda Saldívar.

Anything for Selenas!

What...too soon?

 

[TheBryMan81 2515]

2 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

The one thing your most successful serial killers and other murderous psychos have in common down through history is a sense of self-confidence that allows them to brazenly ignore social norms and just barge in without an invitation. Seems like Jimbo's leading fan has a lot in common with Yolanda Saldívar.

You shall not speak that name around me sir! Good day!

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

8 minutes ago, TheBryMan81 said:

You shall not speak that name around me sir! Good day!

Duly noted. I'll never mention Jimbo in your presence again.

[Tired of Lurking 637]

Replace Karen and Starkel with one of our old ass boosters and Lexi Sun. Would be some headlines.

[SameSame 1705]

That is some creepy shit right there.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

I hear Starkelmotion is going to be putting on a one man show at nursing homes everywhere soon. His interpretation of "The Full Monty".

[Tex Pete 20484]

Jimbo should be charged with a capital crime for bringing that crusty bitch to Texas as a bag lady. 

Edited August 6, 2018 by Tex Pete

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

1 hour ago, Tex Pete said:

Jimbo should be charged with a capital crime for brining that crusty bitch to Texas as a bag lady. 

So she's pickled, huh? Explains a lot.

[Leanderman 2276]

Fake picture everyone knows he only wears high heeled cleats.

[rickyspub 801]

9 hours ago, Sejjr said:

As if Crazy Karen wasn't creepy enough:

You forgot the tweet after this one...

'Grabbed ass, my dude!'

[Lobwedgephil 1139]

Hamm's racist site open yet? Was thinking this week, can't wait. 

[Longhornfrenzy 5840]

1 hour ago, Lobwedgephil said:

Hamm's racist site open yet? Was thinking this week, can't wait. 

The 8th I believe.

[Vertigo 20332]

17 hours ago, Lobwedgephil said:

Hamm's racist site open yet? Was thinking this week, can't wait. 

[Dennis Taylor 18871]

23 hours ago, Tired of Lurking said:

Replace Karen and Starkel with one of our old ass boosters and Lexi Sun. Would be some headlines.

it might be enough to make her transfer or something...oh wait...

[Longhornfrenzy 5840]

Hamm

[texifornia 57100]

I was shocked at how much sunshine he was snorting until I got to the end and realized this is his big subscription launch push and he needs them at full boner level and ready to pull their credit cards out.

[BayouBill 835]

Holy. Shit.

[kilroydos 267]

"It doesn't matter what A&M does on the field this season."

"This rollercoaster only goes UP."

[Pato del Muerto 52598]

He can’t possibly believe what he wrote there. 

Talk about taking a couple nuggets of truth and embellishing to the point of ridiculousness. 

I notice he didn’t specifically say he’d take calzone over roschon. 

[MonkeyDoughnut 10356]

These will be fun to come back to when kids actually start signing with schools

[Irwin F Fletcher 3550]

Shit fire and save the matches! Them aggys got them a number one recruiting class on Aug 7th. Hamm's gonna be rollin in six figures with all this sunshine pumping by the end of the week.

[GlenFromTheMailRoom 1613]

All it took was a $75 million dollar coach and a divorce for Hamm to start getting predictions right?

 

[Orange&White 5539]

1 hour ago, Pato del Muerto said:

He can’t possibly believe what he wrote there. 

The best part is that he absolutely believes all of it.

[Leanderman 2276]

aggies don't need drugs when they have him to get them hooked.

[Sejjr 3246]

It is fascinating that the two biggest aggy fucktards, Hamm and Pubes, keep talking about “spin” coming out of Austin. Their entire business model is about filling their subscribers with impossible dreams and delusions of grandeur. Has the roller coaster reached its peak, officially? 

[UncleBuck 6455]

On ‎8‎/‎5‎/‎2018 at 10:47 AM, Sejjr said:

As if Crazy Karen wasn't creepy enough:

"What's it gunna take to get you to commit to A&M right now, Wright?"

 

"Can y'all get that old lady of yours to give me a booty brush?"

 

"Done"

 

*heads to twitter

[Get ln My Van 927]

“GIVE ME CALZADA EVERY DAY OVER ROSCHON”

-dumbfuck

[markstanco 12611]

2 hours ago, Sejjr said:

Has the roller coaster reached its peak, officially? 

[texaslong 678]

2 hours ago, Sejjr said:

It is fascinating that the two biggest aggy fucktards, Hamm and Pubes, keep talking about “spin” coming out of Austin. Their entire business model is about filling their subscribers with impossible dreams and delusions of grandeur. Has the roller coaster reached its peak, officially? 

I’ve never understood why Pubes keeps with the we are victims of the  evil empire in Austin. Can’t run to the SEC and tell everyone you run this state, then turn around and act like Texas is keeping them down. If Texas is truly keeping you down, do you know who really runs this state?

[Bodacious Bevo 3602]

How can Christian Kirk's school say they wouldn't want Jake Smith? JFC Hamm

They're winning recruiting battles and he could just report that. It would be true and good enough news? Why take it to such biased lengths? Just needlessly pumps up the roller coaster

[texifornia 57100]

12 minutes ago, Bodacious Bevo said:

How can Christian Kirk's school say they wouldn't want Jake Smith? JFC Hamm

They're winning recruiting battles and he could just report that. It would be true and good enough news? Why take it to such biased lengths? Just needlessly pumps up the roller coaster 

Or that they wouldn't trade Orebo straight-up for Floyd. He's doing a weird rubric of only comparing their best take to our best take and their 2nd-best to our 2nd-best. And even then he's just stupid wrong at certain positions *cough*QB*cough*

[C-Man 27262]

Hamm right about now:

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

That's not Hamm. He would barely be able to cover the head of a pin, let alone his basement.

[markstanco 12611]

I’ve never understood why Pubes keeps with the we are victims of the  evil empire in Austin. Can’t run to the SEC and tell everyone you run this state, then turn around and act like Texas is keeping them down. If Texas is truly keeping you down, do you know who really runs this state?

Say this on his Twitter. Or somebody.

[markstanco 12611]

Actually hamm, you read this thread. You hate texags....you tweet him about his bitchassedness.

[Scholz 11959]

14 hours ago, kilroydos said:

"It doesn't matter what A&M does on the field this season."

"This rollercoaster only goes UP."

Bold strategy, Cotton.