6figs/"Trust the Hamm" greatest hits

[Sejjr 3246]

Just now, Hiphopopotamos said:

You have to wonder when FWK is going to just cut-bait on that relationship - what possible benefit does FWK get anymore?

I don’t know. But if he bails on Hamm, that truly would be the final straw in his downward spiral. Hamm would pretty much be Dirk Diggler in the parking lot at that point. 

[rickyspub 801]

28 minutes ago, Sejjr said:

I don’t know. But if he bails on Hamm, that truly would be the final straw in his downward spiral. Hamm would pretty much be Dirk Diggler in the parking lot at that point. 

I imagine Hamm hustling blowjobs was a part of the reason for his divorce, not some recent money-making scheme to avoid homelessness.

[Scholz 11933]

38 minutes ago, Sejjr said:

Dirk Diggler in the parking lot

Doubt the hammster has the "talent" to pull that off.

[BruceVonClaude 212]

53 minutes ago, Hiphopopotamos said:

You have to wonder when FWK is going to just cut-bait on that relationship - what possible benefit does FWK get anymore?

The 2's and 3's of retweets provide invaluable exposure to FWK.

[markstanco 12504]

Sooo... is he no longer posting on his copyrighted facebook account? 
Or did we just lose access? 
I need to see more of this amazing trainwreck. It would be a sad day if he’s done. 

He tweeted yesterday that he had a FB update. Must have lost access or it wasnt anything breaking.

[SizzleChest 8275]

7 hours ago, Sejjr said:

Hamm would pretty much be Dirk Diggler in the parking lot at that point. 

Minus about 10 inches of length and 3 inches of girth.

[rickyspub 801]

1 hour ago, SizzleChest said:

Minus about 10 inches of length and 3 inches of girth.

You are correct sir:

Physically, a Smurf is usually no more than "three apples tall" (in human measure, probably around 3 inches) and has a pear-shaped body with an oval-shaped head, springy legs, and limber arms, with a short stubby tail sticking out from his or her buttocks. The springy legs allow a Smurf to jump to high places or across rocks and branches rather easily. It is estimated that a Smurf can run up to 10 feet per second and has a vertical leap of 4 to 12 inches.

[tejas60 3526]

7 hours ago, rickyspub said:

It is estimated that a Smurf can run up to 10 feet per second and has a vertical leap of 4 to 12 inches.

 

can they tackle?

[markstanco 12504]

No, but they can DB well which is needed badly.

[Newy25 7638]

His downfall saddens me. I underestimated how much pleasure I derived from his lack of self awareness. 

[Spawn of Cthulhu 2241]

Never go in against Meemaw when death is on the line.

[tejas60 3526]

8 minutes ago, Spawn of Cthulhu said:

Never go in against Meemaw when death is ovaries are on the line.

fify

[Radical Larry 28528]

Never go in against Meemaw when ovaries are on the table.

fify

Ahem.

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

On 11/7/2018 at 1:27 PM, Sejjr said:

I don’t know. But if he bails on Hamm, that truly would be the final straw in his downward spiral. Hamm would pretty much be Dirk Diggler in the parking lot at that point. 

he's really on the demand side of that equation, versus supply

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

18 hours ago, SizzleChest said:

Minus about 10 inches of length and 3 inches of girth.

 

[Spawn of Cthulhu 2241]

On 11/7/2018 at 9:08 PM, SizzleChest said:

Minus about 10 inches of length and 3 inches of girth.

[Machinator 32097]

[victory88 5654]

can we create a fake happy hour and try to get mee maw, jimbo, and hamm all to show up...  the jokes would write themselves.

[Viper 12023]

what is BAS? battered aggy syndrome?

[Machinator 32097]

Yes.

[Scholz 11933]

So the nasty granny has BSS?

[rickyspub 801]

16 minutes ago, Scholz said:

So the nasty granny has BSS?

There's a lot of Meemaw that is battered...

[Scholz 11933]

[UTCzech III 2900]

Are those her ovaries in her profile pic?  Waiting to hit the table.

Edited November 9, 2018 by UTCzech III
grammar and shit

[UTCzech III 2900]

Can guarantee her cat ain't hairless.

[Noah Fence 480]

38 minutes ago, UTCzech III said:

Can guarantee her cat ain't hairless.

I guess you have seen it.  

[texifornia 56487]

39 minutes ago, UTCzech III said:

Can guarantee her cat ain't hairless.

[Tex Pete 20164]

2 hours ago, Scholz said:

So the nasty granny has BSS?

Battered Semen Swallower?

[Tree Fidy 1196]

I guess you have seen it.  

[Machinator 32097]

Of course.

 

[texifornia 56487]

15 minutes ago, Machinator said:

Of course.

 

Broken family bros gotta stick together I guess.

Edited November 11, 2018 by texifornia

[PNWhornsfan 391]

And here we all thought Hamm had entered into witness protection...

[crash_davis 23081]

well his wife had her first midget smurf and then she moved on to a real man.  

[Elmer_Fudd 22100]

Hamm will be on the phone ASAP asking recruits parents what they think about all this.

[Chopper 17152]

The convenient thing about the way Hamm cheated on his wife was that he doesn't have to sit or kneel for those aggy bathroom glory holes.

 

[Scholz 11933]

So Herman can fuck around and his wife sticks around because he provides for and satisfies her. How about you and Jimbo, hammster?

[GlenFromTheMailRoom 1601]

1 hour ago, Machinator said:

Of course.

 

Or these two desperate, loser fucks can pretend to shit on Herman while they continue to embarrass themselves.

The two of them are the college football equivalent of smearing shit on the wall.

[BigHorn'13 3352]

No lie, I thought it was dfigs since I didn't get the insult but then I noticed it was missing the usual, stupid, accompanying hashtags. 

[Machinator 32097]

[HtownHorn 14468]

44 minutes ago, Machinator said:

She forgot to add shitty football.

[Dennis Taylor 18698]

45 minutes ago, Machinator said:

yeah thanks a lot Jimbo

 

 

[campcrunk 2346]

Hamm found the rare individual who fucked up his life worse than Hamm did. Congrats, toilet smurf. I guess?

[Sejjr 3246]

Honestly, is there anything more apropos than Taylor fucking Hamm aligning himself with Zach fucking Smith? We are *LITERALLY* witnessing two perfect train wrecks in real-time. The real question is, which one will eat a bullet first?

*Ok, not literally. I do imagine these two have a very similar purchase history though.

[Funk Doctor Spock 11920]

25 minutes ago, Sejjr said:

Honestly, is there anything more apropos than Taylor fucking Hamm aligning himself with Zach fucking Smith? We are *LITERALLY* witnessing two perfect train wrecks in real-time. The real question is, which one will eat a bullet first?

*Ok, not literally. I do imagine these two have a very similar purchase history though.

Strap-ons and divorce?

[rickyspub 801]

15 minutes ago, Spider2YBanana said:

Strap-ons and divorce?

I always figured Hamm's favorite playthings came through holes in bathroom stalls.

[Funk Doctor Spock 11920]

1 hour ago, rickyspub said:

I always figured Hamm's favorite playthings came through holes in bathroom stalls.

Well he does need a warm-up tool before offering kids his services 

[Sejjr 3246]

Let’s pause to remember that Taylor Hamm was so offended by the cruel and uncalled for commentary of the Surly that he refused to be interviewed because he is such a class act, like all good ags.

And now he has spent the evening retweeting every single Zach Smith tweet to his legion of followers, and is throwing his support behind a wife beating drug addict (alleged) and male sex toy aficionado (proven). Has Hamm found his new FWK?

Edited November 12, 2018 by Sejjr

[maninblack 7974]

It's interesting that both these losers highlight their kids on social media but neither actually give a shit about them.

[Butch Had Not 2940]

If you think about it,  hamm sees himself as zach Smith. Maybe divorce shit we haven't seen is out there regarding hamm parallels smith. Why else would someone that has nothing to do with UT follow a vile wife beater at Ohio state and then show support for zach Smith by retweeting his garbage? If it became public (when I say public, I mean in context to a d list 995er) that hamm has  baggage he's hiding, it would destroy even the little bit of potential for a job in his micropenis world of his. He like zack smith both suffer from narcissism and have failed marriages where the kids are not even close to being secondary priority in their lives. 

[TheRRKid 227]

Hamm your wife and kids are off limits?

Ok. Cool Hook Em