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6figs/"Trust the Hamm" greatest hits

Machinator

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Katfid54

Katfid54 8,635

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1 minute ago, closetojumping said:

Did you know Taylor Ham is a thing in New Jersey? I didn't until this week. Yeah, it's a fucking pork product not unlike spam, which I think dovetails with the Taylor Hamm we've all come to know as well. 

So Taylor Ham is the scrapple of New Jersey?  That's apropos.

Edited by Katfid54
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Walden Ponderer

Walden Ponderer 12,639

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47 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Did you know Taylor Ham is a thing in New Jersey? I didn't until this week. Yeah, it's a fucking pork product not unlike spam, which I think dovetails with the Taylor Hamm we've all come to know as well.

Hmmm... the Google machine tells me it's usually sold as a "Taylor Pork Roll". Make of that what you will.

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Deej

Deej 76,885

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53 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Did you know Taylor Ham is a thing in New Jersey? I didn't until this week. Yeah, it's a fucking pork product not unlike spam, which I think dovetails with the Taylor Hamm we've all come to know as well.

I just thought he could steal that as his pool business slogan.

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Katfid54

Katfid54 8,635

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You dumb motherfuckers, wikipedia has all the answers you could ever need:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pork_roll

Quote

Pork roll (also known regionally as Taylor Ham)[1][2] is a pork-based processed meat commonly available in New Jersey, New York, Delaware and parts of Pennsylvania and Maryland. It was developed in 1856 by John Taylor of Hamilton Square, New Jersey, and sold as "Taylor's Prepared Ham".[3] Other producers entered the market, and subsequent food labeling regulations required Taylor to designate it as a "pork roll" alongside its competitors. While "Taylor Ham" is technically a brand of pork roll, in regions of North Jersey all brands of pork roll may be referred as Taylor Ham due to John Taylor branding his original pork roll as Taylor.

 

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Walden Ponderer

Walden Ponderer 12,639

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Just now, closetojumping said:

If you ever have the misfortune of visiting that state again, give it a look-see. Can't do much about Google disagreeing, even when they're off.

I have spent all the time in New Jersey I ever intend to spend there (changes of flight excepted). The "Garden State" has all the charm and appeal of John Wayne Gacy's undershorts.

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texifornia

texifornia 57,056

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Just now, Walden Ponderer said:

I have spent all the time in New Jersey I ever intend to spend there (changes of flight excepted). The "Garden State" has all the charm and appeal of John Wayne Gacy's undershorts.

One of my clients is the state government's economic development arm. "We're close to better places and our transit infrastructure makes it easy to leave! Also Princeton is here and maybe their grads will want to work for you?" is pretty much the whole sell.

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bizzle

bizzle 1,153

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30 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

If you ever have the misfortune of visiting that state again, give it a look-see. Can't do much about Google disagreeing, even when they're off.

pine valley is the only acceptable reason to step foot inside the state.

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closetojumping

closetojumping 62,783

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1 hour ago, Walden Ponderer said:

I have spent all the time in New Jersey I ever intend to spend there (changes of flight excepted). The "Garden State" has all the charm and appeal of John Wayne Gacy's undershorts.

 

1 hour ago, texifornia said:

One of my clients is the state government's economic development arm. "We're close to better places and our transit infrastructure makes it easy to leave! Also Princeton is here and maybe their grads will want to work for you?" is pretty much the whole sell.

 

39 minutes ago, bizzle said:

pine valley is the only acceptable reason to step foot inside the state.

I had two insane business trips to the "interior" of Jersey while working at my first start-up out of college.

On one, we landed and, like frigging magic, it immediately started snowing as we left the rental car parking lot. Went to a meeting like 60 miles away with Realogy, if you've ever heard of them. Step out of the meeting about 90 minutes later, back into the "light" of day, and it has turned into a full blown blizzard. We're driving back to the airport and on the other side of the thoroughfare, out in the country, is the worst wreck I've ever seen. Large Marge level shit. Literally a fiery car crash involving an 18 wheeler and at least 5 other vehicles. There are multiple covered bodies on the side of the wreck and you could feel the heat as the firemen worked to control the blaze, across a wide grassy median of 50+ yards. The traffic stacked back for at least 10 miles. Horrific shit and it probably happened right behind us driving out. 

The second incident involved me getting lost coming back from Philly to Morristown, where we were staying, at like 3am in the morning. Those fucking old towns, man. I got twisted around and drove around for an hour, as this predated smart phones by a year or two. My coworker and good friend was the passenger and at one point at a stop sign, I've driven him so insane along with the exhausting day and lack of sleep that he tries to strangle me for my shit-talking, while I'm driving the fucking vehicle. Like in a movie, we ended up practically crashing into our hotel out of of coincidence within 30 seconds of that starting. 

Anyway, when I think of New Jersey, a place I've been to many times, those are always the first two thoughts that hit me. Now I can tell that delicious taylor ham has been added. </"Trust the Hamm" Greatest Hits>

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Katfid54

Katfid54 8,635

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1 hour ago, texifornia said:

One of my clients is the state government's economic development arm. "We're close to better places and our transit infrastructure makes it easy to leave! Also Princeton is here and maybe their grads will want to work for you?" is pretty much the whole sell.

giphy.gif

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UTCzech III

UTCzech III 2,907

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3 hours ago, closetojumping said:

Did you know Taylor Ham is a thing in New Jersey? I didn't until this week. Yeah, it's a fucking pork product not unlike spam, which I think dovetails with the Taylor Hamm we've all come to know as well.

It's actually like canadian bacon.  Think an Egg McMuffin, basically that's Taylor Ham.

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ClubWhatever

ClubWhatever 12,154

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Visit the drive thru wild animal park in the middle of the state.  It’s an interesting dynamic when the state’s upstanding residents take a break from manufacturing chemicals and burying bodies to bring their well known penchant for following rules into a mix involving overloaded minivans and dangerous animals unafraid of humans.  

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MrPhlegm

MrPhlegm 3,413

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Hamm's: From the land of sky blue waters.
 
 
Bear Whiz Beer

Did you know Taylor Ham is a thing in New Jersey? I didn't until this week. Yeah, it's a fucking pork product not unlike spam, which I think dovetails with the Taylor Hamm we've all come to know as well.
They got that shit at BJ's in Florida
Never tried it.
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Walden Ponderer

Walden Ponderer 12,639

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5 minutes ago, Shaddie said:

Worst part is..................

No fucking left turns. If haven’t drove there you won’t understand. 

A-fucking-men. First time I drove through, it was a fucking nightmare. That and the no self-service gas stations were enough to convince me that that particular trip was going to be a giant waste of time.

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PhillyD

PhillyD 1,257

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1 hour ago, satyanash said:

 

That's right Taylor, and there is no better example than you!   Everyone look, Hamm fucked up his marriage, filmed his kid crying, routinely gets in Twitter slap fights, and has managed to lose every job he's ever had.  Yet some aggy let's him work as a pool cleaner so he can keep trying to sniff aggy jocks.  You can achieve your dreams at aggy!  Don't let those fools in Austin trick you!

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