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6figs/"Trust the Hamm" greatest hits

Machinator

By Machinator
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UDontKnow

UDontKnow 10444

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, ulukinatme said:

Those that fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it.  Maybe he should consult Paul Batrice for legal advice.

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Damn, looks like the Batrice thread on the old board was deleted.

I'm fairly certain his name is Paul Beatrice and he should be addressed as such.

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Aggy h8tr
Aggy h8tr

You're welcome   

Sejjr
Sejjr
Pato del Muerto
Pato del Muerto

It’s because he predicted that she’d stay with him. 

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Shaggy3.0

Shaggy3.0 1695

Posted
Posted
Do the commitment videos he creates for recruits for free count as a recruiting violations? Or the free subscriptions he gave to them for his shitty Facebook business?  Does he have to register as a sex offender/pervert for harassing Steven Parker, a high school kid, into a bathroom? Can we report him to the IRS for his fake fb business where I’m sure he didn’t report his taxes on?
 



Yes to all the above.

Let’s do it. Get a list of his booster dirtiness and I’ll call the ncaa on monday.

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markstanco

markstanco 12577

Posted
Posted
Hamm has broken every one of these
As a booster, you may not:
Contact a prospect in-person on-campus or off campus.
Contact a prospect by telephone, email, Internet or letter.
Provide gifts or free or reduced-cost services to a prospect or the prospect’s relatives or guardian.
Employ relatives, guardians or friends of a prospect as an inducement for the prospect’s enrollment and athletics participation at a university.
Become directly or indirectly involved in making arrangements for a prospect or the prospect’s relatives or guardian to receive money or financial aid of any kind.
Provide transportation for a prospect or the prospect’s relatives or guardian.
Provide free or reduced-cost tickets for a prospect or the prospect’s relatives or guardian to attend an athletic event.
Provide any material benefit (e.g., meals, cash) to the coach of a prospect, including high school, two-year college, AAU and summer team coaches.
A lawyer buddy who isnt even signed up but lurks and is texas law said this will end very badly for him, as far as his association with the school goes. Apparently they would shun him from everything because of violations. I say let it ride.
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AUS-97HORN

AUS-97HORN 11758

Posted
Posted

uh-   thats a bold invite considering its sponsored by Adidas.

"formal attire is strongly recommended" ?

I was almost positive Adidas didnt have a formal line, so  i googled adidas formal attire and all i got were about 50 google images of hippies dressed down:

https://www.google.com/search?q=adidas+formal+attire&client=firefox-b-1&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi7hf2F_OXfAhUEF6wKHVt_ADYQsAR6BAgDEAE&biw=1920&bih=944

 

so yeah, they dont have a formal line but strongly suggest you wear formal clothes for this event as a media pass?

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irishtexan

irishtexan 11519

Posted
Posted (edited)
14 minutes ago, AUS-97HORN said:

uh-   thats a bold invite considering its sponsored by Adidas.

"formal attire is strongly recommended" ?

I was almost positive Adidas didnt have a formal line, so  i googled adidas formal attire and all i got were about 50 google images of hippies dressed down:

https://www.google.com/search?q=adidas+formal+attire&client=firefox-b-1&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi7hf2F_OXfAhUEF6wKHVt_ADYQsAR6BAgDEAE&biw=1920&bih=944

 

so yeah, they dont have a formal line but strongly suggest you wear formal clothes for this event as a media pass?

Bro, this is a RED CARPET event for a high school 7 on 7 team. There will be media there wearing bow ties. This is a big fucking deal. Please give this event the respect that it deserves.

 

 

 

Seriously - read that. A formal red carpet event for an offseason high school football workout club. Media in tuxedos. This is a real thing that's happening. What kind of fucking wold do we live in now? 

Part of me hopes that this is an elaborate prank that someone is playing on six figs to get him to dress up in an tuxedo thinking he's a big shot media guy and there will be a bunch of Nelson Muntzes there pointing and laughing.

Edited by irishtexan
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Katfid54

Katfid54 8631

Posted
Posted
14 minutes ago, AUS-97HORN said:

uh-   thats a bold invite considering its sponsored by Adidas.

"formal attire is strongly recommended" ?

I was almost positive Adidas didnt have a formal line, so  i googled adidas formal attire and all i got were about 50 google images of hippies dressed down:

https://www.google.com/search?q=adidas+formal+attire&client=firefox-b-1&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi7hf2F_OXfAhUEF6wKHVt_ADYQsAR6BAgDEAE&biw=1920&bih=944

 

so yeah, they dont have a formal line but strongly suggest you wear formal clothes for this event as a media pass?

Shows what you know:

A+vedding+tell+sergei+to+put+on+best+tra

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closetojumping

closetojumping 62698

Posted
Posted
32 minutes ago, irishtexan said:

Bro, this is a RED CARPET event for a high school 7 on 7 team. There will be media there wearing bow ties. This is a big fucking deal. Please give this event the respect that it deserves.

 Seriously - read that. A formal red carpet event for an offseason high school football workout club. Media in tuxedos. This is a real thing that's happening. What kind of fucking wold do we live in now? 

Part of me hopes that this is an elaborate prank that someone is playing on six figs to get him to dress up in an tuxedo thinking he's a big shot media guy and there will be a bunch of Nelson Muntzes there pointing and laughing.

It's going to cost that butt-huffing leprechaun $250 to rent a tux and he's going to show up and start immediately barking about the next level nature of an atm degree and why Bilbo Aggins has the best smelling ballsack in the entire Brazos River valley. I guess if he can wear a kid's tuxedo, it will only cost like $150 at Al's, which is probably his angle.

14 minutes ago, Butch Had Not said:

Who is the surly paparazzi that will be in attendance?

Hamm, David Garvin, Dave South, Max Emfinger, Ed Brandon, and Jessica Savitch have all already RSVP'd. This is a big fucking deal.

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irishtexan

irishtexan 11519

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

It's going to cost that butt-huffing leprechaun $250 to rent a tux and he's going to show up and start immediately barking about the next level nature of an atm degree and why Bilbo Aggins has the best smelling ballsack in the entire Brazos River valley. I guess if he can wear a kid's tuxedo, it will only cost like $150 at Al's, which is probably his angle.

Hamm, David Garvin, Dave South, Max Emfinger, Ed Brandon, and Jessica Savitch have all already RSVP'd. This is a big fucking deal.

Kurt Bohls will emcee the event. Cedric Golden is the maitre d. 

 
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closetojumping

closetojumping 62698

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Katfid54 said:

That's an extremely low bar.

Well, look, you're the reigning ballsack sniffing champion of Harris County, so of course you'd look down on someone like Hamm, who's relegated to a ball snorting backwater like Bryan/College Station, but he's apparently a big deal to the folks out that way. Walden Ponderer has ranted about it multiple times.

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Katfid54

Katfid54 8631

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, closetojumping said:

Well, look, you're the reigning ballsack sniffing champion of Harris County, so of course you'd look down on someone like Hamm, who's relegated to a ball snorting backwater like Bryan/College Station, but he's apparently a big deal to the folks out that way. Walden Ponderer has ranted about it multiple times.

giphy.gif

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SydneyCarton

SydneyCarton 48095

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, texifornia said:

Hamm reported the parody Toilet Smurf Twitter account and got it suspended. So unemployment seems to be going great for him.

I'm amazed he was successful in doing that. As in I don't believe it. I can't even imagine what grounds he'd have unless that account was spamming child porn or using his name. 

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golfclap

golfclap 6903

Posted
Posted

I don't think I've ever looked at that account other than what is linked here but having it blocked/removed is some incredibly petty shit. Like it's WAY worse that he got his little feelings hurt and took action against a fucking parody account. Just fucking ignore it, FFS. Hamm gonna Hamm though. 

giphy.gif

 

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Vertigo

Vertigo 20285

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, SydneyCarton said:

I'm amazed he was successful in doing that. As in I don't believe it. I can't even imagine what grounds he'd have unless that account was spamming child porn or using his name. 

Toilet Smurf should report Taylor Hamm for being a parody account. 

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Magus Ossis

Magus Ossis 2799

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, satyanash said:

I hope someone has made a backup of the Shag for when it finally bites the dust. There's too much gold there re:Hamm to be lost

I had rather assumed it closed down circa 4/1/18. I just looked over there, and there seem to be two posters starting and conducting all the threads on the football board. There are long stretches of TexasWolf soliloquies alternating with TexasWolf soliloquies. Their advertisers must really like trying to sell hair gel and male hormone boosting diet supplements to TexasWolf and 8badmofo31.

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Treefidy

Treefidy 1463

Posted
Posted
On 1/10/2019 at 8:53 AM, Leanderman said:

Can we report him for the unreported cash tips he gets at the glory hole in stall #2

He kept getting the shaft and it broke him.   

A title loan on his '05 Tahoe is the only thing protecting his  assets from forfeiture.  

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Neonmoon

Neonmoon 38129

Posted
Posted

A&M basically did that already without the letter. He has ruined so many recruitments they had to do it. 

The trainers coaches are the only people left who let him near recruits, and they need him to post on Twitter what they feed him. He has a ton of followers. 

He is basically the mouthpiece for them 

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