6figs/"Trust the Hamm" greatest hits

[rickyspub 801]

2 hours ago, Magus Ossis said:

Would you say you are a eugoogler?

Who is this? A pool boy for ants!

[williemackgarza 1826]

Any of you Htown fucks get hamm to clean their pool Ill throw in a C note to the cause, just for the lulz.

[Funk Doctor Spock 13122]

3 hours ago, Magus Ossis said:

Would you say you are a eugoogler?

He's ambi googler

[Etexhorn13 3091]

I live about 10 min from that pool place’s office... no pool, but may have to drop in for a quote for the lulz

Edited December 21, 2018 by Etexhorn13

[markstanco 12773]

Hamm runs a shovel and bromine tablets. You wouldnt see him for a new construction pool quote.

[The Earl of Texas 3211]

This thread is a (highly metaphorical) rollercoaster... y’all get WAY too upset about shit he says, then y’all CRUSH him with shit like this. I love it

[Pato del Muerto 53348]

15 minutes ago, Etexhorn13 said:

I live about 10 min from that pool place’s office... no pool, but may have to drop in for a quote for the lulz

You can’t not do it now

[Tex Pete 21395]

2 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

Can’t believe you forgot his highly successful real estate venture with his now ex wife, you know the one where he never had any listings...

He couldn’t lose what he never had.

He really did have a job recruiting for A&M once before 247 fired him. 

[TKthunder2 5058]

He couldn’t lose what he never had.
He really did have a job recruiting for A&M once before 247 fired him. 

[Tex Pete 21395]

Oh, I just mean he did nothing in real estate. I realize he was technically a licensed realtor. His wife wanted him to stop chasing HS boys and spend some time with his family. Instead, he’s married to aggy now and spends his time hanging out with underage boys and wearing soiled jock straps on his head. 

[NorLa Horns 1458]

Heres an idea. Lets crowd fund a bunch of money for a Hamm vs. EJ cage match. 

We could call it " pizza boy vs the poolboy!"

[HenryJames 67129]

4 hours ago, NorLa Horns said:

We could call it " pizza boy vs the poolboy!"

Sounds like a gay porno.

[Mantis Toboggan, MD 1520]

http:// https://mobile.twitter.com/_taylorhamm/status/911365608364822528?lang=en

 

Jesus. This is awful in retrospect.

[Telegraph_it 3376]

How is that twitter post still up? Out of all the things posted on twitter that is one of the worst. 

[Bodacious Bevo 3687]

Now we know why Hamm was at the water park 

imgur

[Fug 604]

4 minutes ago, Bodacious Bevo said:

Now we know why Hamm was at the water park 

 

 

What is the full story on this again? Also, what mother would let their kids go to a water park with this guy? 

[Harvdog 2416]

18 hours ago, Terry Silver said:

I wonder if Hamm took a peak at his coworkers' dongs in the restroom?

Dude....he’s a pool cleaner....not a meat gazer. Advantage aggy

[Funk Doctor Spock 13122]

His downward spiral is the drug I need 

[SimkinsMan 4544]

39 minutes ago, Bodacious Bevo said:

Now we know why Hamm was at the water park 

 

 

This is ... glorious.

[IDIOTsavant 8673]

36 minutes ago, Harvdog said:

Dude....he’s a pool cleaner....not a meat gazer. Advantage aggy

He wasn't gazing; he was judging. Meat judging is one of their skills their only skill.

[Longhornfrenzy 6260]

What is the full story on this again? Also, what mother would let their kids go to a water park with this guy? 

Hamm was at a Vype magazine photoshoot along with other members of the recruiting media services. Someone got a pic of Hamm with aggy recruits.
That someone sent it to me in a DM on Twitter.
The rest is history.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

14 hours ago, NorLa Horns said:

Heres an idea. Lets crowd fund a bunch of money for a Hamm vs. EJ cage match. 

We could call it " pizza boy vs the poolboy!"

If you were to tell me that there was someone EJ could beat in a cage match, I wouldn't believe you... until I remembered the existence of Taylor Hamm.

[texifornia 58840]

Just now, Walden Ponderer said:

If you were to tell me that there was someone EJ could beat in a cage match, I wouldn't believe you... until I remembered the existence of Taylor Hamm.

Hamm has that weird feral rat energy, like Charlie from Always Sunny. EJ is soft. Hamm either wins or is DQ'd for below-the-belt cheating shit.

[Butch Had Not 3054]

Ej gets his powers from soy frappes.

Hamm gets his from the aggy network. 

Ej wins when Hamm is fired again. 

[Spawn of Cthulhu 2241]

Hamm only loses when wives, custody, jobs, and dignity are on the line.

[Harvdog 2416]

If Hamm’s ex-old lady had waited a year, she could have been banging the pool boy. 

[Orange&White 5564]

7 minutes ago, Harvdog said:

If Hamm’s ex-old lady had waited a year, she could have been banging the pool boy. 

Ummmm...she probably was. It was just a different pool boy that wasn’t Taylor.

[Lone Star Horn 2068]

29 minutes ago, Harvdog said:

If Hamm’s ex-old lady had waited a year, she could have been banging the pool boy. 

as if hamm could do any banging.

he's the bangee, not the banger

[Spawn of Cthulhu 2241]

2 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

If you were to tell me that there was someone EJ could beat in a cage match, I wouldn't believe you... until I remembered the existence of Taylor Hamm.

Never go in against a pool boy when death is on the line.

[Focht Up 643]

19 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

this picture should appear if you look up douchebag in the dictionary.

[Leanderman 2353]

Or the poster boy for legalized abortion. Is that a rusty  piece of coat hanger sticking out of the top of his head ?

[Longhornfrenzy 6260]

https://twitter.com/MBHORNSFAN/status/1076563267995213832?s=19

[RabidM 2755]

7 minutes ago, Longhornfrenzy said:

https://twitter.com/MBHORNSFAN/status/1076563267995213832?s=19

 

[EastTexan 670]

44 minutes ago, RabidM said:

 

Photo shop. Gotta be too much junk.

[Bevo14 8468]

Just now, EastTexan said:

Photo shop. Gotta be too much junk.

too tall imo

[UncleBuck 6455]

https://twitter.com/MBHORNSFAN/status/1076563267995213832?s=19

I am dead


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Deej 77676]

4 hours ago, EastTexan said:

Photo shop. Gotta be too much junk.

That's his FUPA.

[markstanco 12773]

Toilet smurf on Twitter has the petal to the metal.

[Butch Had Not 3054]

13 minutes ago, markstanco said:

Toilet smurf on Twitter has the petal to the metal.

Guess he doesn't get the kids this year and he is raging. 

[UDontKnow 10559]

19 minutes ago, markstanco said:

Toilet smurf on Twitter has the petal to the metal.

For those of us that have been blocked by Toilet Smurf on Twitter, please share.

[Mitch Hedberg 2117]

Been blocked for two years. Somebody send LHF the bat signal.

[markstanco 12773]

For those of us that have been blocked by Toilet Smurf on Twitter, please share.

@toiletsmurf. Not 6 figs.

[KYHorn 17568]

1 hour ago, markstanco said:

Toilet smurf on Twitter has the petal to the metal.

Like a guns n roses kinda thing?

[texifornia 58840]

1 hour ago, Mitch Hedberg said:

Been blocked for two years. Somebody send LHF the bat signal.

He said he was taking Christmas Eve/Christmas off unless something crazy happened.

[Tex Pete 21395]

5 hours ago, KYHorn said:

Like a guns n roses kinda thing?

More like Guns in Noses. We can hope. 

[Sensitive Ponytail Man 9]

21 minutes ago, Tex Pete said:

More like Guns in Noses. We can hope. 

Nothing warms the heart like hoping for a person to commit suicide on Christmas Day 

[Message Board User 12405]

12 minutes ago, Sensitive Ponytail Man said:

Nothing warms the heart like hoping for a person to commit suicide on Christmas Day 

username checks out

[Leanderman 2353]

 

Watch him regress from pool cleaner to septic tank cleaner by next year.

[RabidM 2755]

28 minutes ago, Leanderman said:

 

Watch him regress from pool cleaner to septic tank cleaner by next year.

You have to work your way up to Walmart greeter. 

[lemonandaturd 4289]

11 hours ago, Leanderman said:

 

Watch him regress from pool cleaner to septic tank cleaner by next year.

Hamm is too short to reach the pedals on the Honey Wagon.