6figs/"Trust the Hamm" greatest hits

[Sejjr 3,246]

Is a pizza boy insulted when a pool boy calls him out?

[Spawn of Cthulhu 2,241]

5 hours ago, Sejjr said:

Is a pizza boy insulted when a pool boy calls him out?

Only in pornos.

[Scholz 11,941]

Can a failed pool boy even call him out?  I'm sure he was able to deliver pizzas successfully.

[texifornia 56,911]

16 minutes ago, Scholz said:

Can a failed pool boy even call him out?  I'm sure he was able to deliver pizzas successfully.

It's just not a very good insult, because as EJ has repeatedly said, he delivered sandwiches for Jimmy Johns. Sandwich Boy is funnier anyway!

[You don't know me 1,161]

I'm sure that this has all been hashed out and it's not funny, but oh well...

When was EJ delivering pizzas or sandwiches?  Was it in his youth, or was it after having been fired from every other job that he has had?  I think most of us have had jobs that were fairly menial in nature.  One of my first jobs as a teenager was working at the snack bar in Target.  And, yes, I used to refer to myself as the snack bar boy, but that's been decades ago.  I also used to clean shitters when I was in the military, so I guess I am also the shitter boy.  Holy shit, I am old.

[SydneyCarton 48,076]

6 minutes ago, You don't know me said:

I'm sure that this has all been hashed out and it's not funny, but oh well...

When was EJ delivering pizzas or sandwiches?  Was it in his youth, or was it after having been fired from every other job that he has had?  I think most of us have had jobs that were fairly menial in nature.  One of my first jobs as a teenager was working at the snack bar in Target.  And, yes, I used to refer to myself as the snack bar boy, but that's been decades ago.  I also used to clean shitters when I was in the military, so I guess I am also the shitter boy.  Holy shit, I am old.

Username no longer checks out. 

[Walden Ponderer 12,639]

9 hours ago, Sejjr said:

Is a pizza boy insulted when a pool boy calls him out?

 

[C-Man 27,214]

18 hours ago, EP_Texican said:

Hamm still mad at EJ


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Rent free

[Vertigo 20,276]

2 minutes ago, C-Man said:

Rent free

So while EJ seems to have some career mobility in going from covering one blue blood to another, Hamm has been bounced from 3 or 4 services covering an also ran school in BFE, Texas and yet is still trying to throw shade?

[Scholz 11,941]

2 minutes ago, Vertigo said:

So while EJ seems to have some career mobility in going from covering one blue blood to another, Hamm has been bounced from 3 or 4 services covering an also ran school in BFE, Texas and yet is still trying to throw shade?

Best. In. The. MotherFreaking. Biz.

[C-Man 27,214]

5 hours ago, texifornia said:

It's just not a very good insult, because as EJ has repeatedly said, he delivered sandwiches for Jimmy Johns. Sandwich Boy is funnier anyway!

Jimmy John's pool boy is funnier still!!!

[Dennis Taylor 18,812]

34 minutes ago, Vertigo said:

So while EJ seems to have some career mobility in going from covering one blue blood to another, Hamm has been bounced from 3 or 4 services covering an also ran school in BFE, Texas and yet is still trying to throw shade?

advantage: aggy

[crash_davis 23,107]

hamm is the best.  in fact he's so good he's unhireable.  chew on that.

[Bevo14 8,304]

2 hours ago, Scholz said:

Best. In. The. MotherFricking. Biz.

fifaggy

[texifornia 56,911]

Ahahahahaha a Winston-Manziel shithead-off!

Spoiler

 

[texifornia 56,911]

oh lawd it's happening kermit.gif

Spoiler

 

[texifornia 56,911]

tasty and delicious

Spoiler

 

[RGBIII 22,840]

5 minutes ago, texifornia said:

Ahahahahaha a Winston-Manziel shithead-off!

  Reveal hidden contents

 

This is the best thing I’ve read all year. What an absolute crazy person. You know someone is insane when aggy is the voice of reason

[Goodman 3,273]

So good, that’s the good shit.

[GlenFromTheMailRoom 1,604]

13 minutes ago, texifornia said:

Ahahahahaha a Winston-Manziel shithead-off!

  Hide contents

 

Actually Karen, there’s quite a few people that would easily pay that $1k to say that directly to that dwarf.

 I’d even toss on an extra $1k to have @Hank Scorpio be the vessel of the message.

Edited September 18, 2019 by GlenFromTheMailRoom

[williemackgarza 1,826]

Meemaw done went and stepped in it now.
Pissed on the maroon st aggy jizz jar hisself johnny football

[Longhornfrenzy 5,702]

Dammit!! Just when it was getting good Perroni locked it up.

[EP_Texican 377]

Dammit!! Just when it was getting good Perroni locked it up.

This site is wild.


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[Burt Macklin 19,020]

1 hour ago, texifornia said:

oh lawd it's happening kermit.gif

  Hide contents

 

Most insane part of that whole thread is that one dude referring to his team as the “TEXAS AGGIES.” 

[The Earl of Texas 3,132]

Been WAITING for this. When Auburn smokes them, hoooooly shit get your popcorn ready. 

[Sejjr 3,246]

We all knew Karen was batshit crazy, but I never expected that her thin-skinned defense of Winston would drive her to a direct attack on the only taste of stardom that aggy has known in 70+ years. If Karen were actually smart, she'd venture over here and ask us some directions on how to deal with aggy, at least until Jimbo leaves them for greener pastures with a truckload of their hard-earned slush-fund. The funny thing is, she is torching so many bridges on the aggy interwebs, she might have no choice but to start trolling Surly. Please let that happen....

[Lone Star Horn 2,016]

if that happens I hope we don't ban her, it would be great to see her try to say anything that wouldn't be instantly slapped back at her.

[LTtxfan 49,170]

2 hours ago, texifornia said:

Ahahahahaha a Winston-Manziel shithead-off!

  Reveal hidden contents

 

[deech 2,274]

She'll promise to never post there again and then will be back in less than 24 hours.  She's too desperate for attention and they will continue to give it to her like she is some celebrity.  She's geriatric FitLump.

[Ricky's one-hitter 9,084]

Somebody make up one of those game day invite mailers for this surly board and send it to her condo

[Scholz 11,941]

So 4 bottles of good wine this weekend then?

[golfclap 6,903]

5 minutes ago, Scholz said:

So 4 bottles of good wine this weekend then?

boxes. 4 boxes. 

[Katfid54 8,626]

3 minutes ago, golfclap said:

8 minutes ago, Scholz said:

So 4 bottles of good wine this weekend then?

boxes. 4 boxes. 

She got really confused when the other 247 posters suggested she play slap the bag.  She didn't know if they were talking about the franzia or Jimbo's recruiting slush fund.

[golfclap 6,903]

Aggy247 has their Damon replacement - something tells me this won't be a culture fit. Andrew Hattersley:: 

Quote

 

I am thrilled to be joining GigEm247 and working to provide you the coverage you want and deserve on a daily basis.

First off, a little bit of information about myself on the personal and professional side:

I was born in South Africa before moving to Milwaukee in 2002 with the rest of my family. I went to both middle school and high school there before attending SMU.

I love to play and watch golf, although with the way I chip I sometimes wonder why. As far as fandom goes, I follow the Brewers and Packers closely having grown up in Wisconsin.

Since 2014, I have worked on the SMU site, Pony Stampede, covering football and basketball both on the team and recruiting side. After graduating, I moved to Chicago where I worked at Genesco Sports Enterprises before heading back to school to get my masters in Sports Journalism at DePaul.

One of the unique things I’ve always enjoyed about the 247Sports experience is being able to talk directly with you and be part of a community. I sincerely look forward to being able to do that with all of you and would love to hear of anything you guys would like to see from the site that I can help with.

I will be based out of Dallas but will be working in tandem with Brian and Jeff on anything they need as well. I would love to meet some of you in person if you’re up in Dallas, grab a beer and shoot the breeze. 

 

[C-Man 27,214]

Aggy247 has their Damon replacement - something tells me this won't be a culture fit. Andrew Hattersley:: 

 

I am thrilled to be joining GigEm247 and working to provide you the coverage you want and deserve on a daily basis.

First off, a little bit of information about myself on the personal and professional side:

I was born in South Africa before moving to Milwaukee in 2002 with the rest of my family. I went to both middle school and high school there before attending SMU.

I love to play and watch golf, although with the way I chip I sometimes wonder why. As far as fandom goes, I follow the Brewers and Packers closely having grown up in Wisconsin.

Since 2014, I have worked on the SMU site, Pony Stampede, covering football and basketball both on the team and recruiting side. After graduating, I moved to Chicago where I worked at Genesco Sports Enterprises before heading back to school to get my masters in Sports Journalism at DePaul.

One of the unique things I’ve always enjoyed about the 247Sports experience is being able to talk directly with you and be part of a community. I sincerely look forward to being able to do that with all of you and would love to hear of anything you guys would like to see from the site that I can help with.

I will be based out of Dallas but will be working in tandem with Brian and Jeff on anything they need as well. I would love to meet some of you in person if you’re up in Dallas, grab a beer and shoot the breeze. 

 

 

You wouldn’t want to grab a beer with this guy?

 

 

[Leanderman 2,275]

Meemaw has got to learn not to spit in the jizz jar.

[Katfid54 8,626]

8 minutes ago, C-Man said:

Yow. This is a tough look.

[irishtexan 11,518]

What's the over/under on the amount of time it takes for one of their posters to call him a "fag"?

[Scholz 11,941]

[Ricky's one-hitter 9,084]

4 minutes ago, irishtexan said:

What's the over/under on the amount of time it takes for one of their posters to call him a "fag"?

The same as the over under for how many posters think he's black because "Africa"

[Lobwedgephil 1,139]

So they had a guy leave to cover SMU, and they answer by stealing another guy from SMU? They are going to love this guy. 

[EZ$ 2,104]

Well, MeeMaw, there’s one way to get back at them mean aggies....go to NCAA and confess to being the bag hag for their football team (instructed by boosters, not Jimbo of course).  Jimbo will leave to greener pastures and you can follow and get the hell out of college station. That will show them. 

[Scholz 11,941]

I hope that deranged hag is a thorn in their side for years. Years.

 

[SydneyCarton 48,076]

52 minutes ago, C-Man said:

 

You wouldn’t want to grab a beer with this guy?

 

Oh fuck. 

[KYHorn 17,029]

1 hour ago, C-Man said:

He's gonna struggle typing the expected level of sunshine/fake news with only one hand.

 

Edit: Does he really only have one hand? NTTAWWT

Edited September 18, 2019 by KYHorn

[Neonmoon 38,129]

Jesus, Perroni needs to go to grad school, that A&M degree isn't helping his ability to write fucking English. 

 

[Ricky's one-hitter 9,084]

16 minutes ago, KYHorn said:

He's gonna struggle typing the expected level of sunshine/fake news with only one hand.

 

Edit: Does he really only have one hand? NTTAWWT

He has two hands

https://hattersleya.com/news-packages/

[pacman 7,355]

1 hour ago, C-Man said:

 

he is a great fit for Aggy..oh boy..this will end well

[C-Man 27,214]

1 hour ago, Katfid54 said:

Yow. This is a tough look.

Looks a little like EJ's "special" younger brother. I wouldn't be shocked if they know each other based on the SMU connection.

[Beau Vine 54,211]

54 minutes ago, Neonmoon said:

Jesus, Perroni needs to go to grad school, that A&M degree isn't helping his ability to write fucking English. 

 

None of these guys can actually write above a grade 11 level, so for all his faults, that's not one to hold against Perroni.