6figs/"Trust the Hamm" greatest hits

[Deej 77,807]

He'll clean recruits pools, and by pools he means he'll take a load in his mouth. 

[MuellerHorn 4,619]

9 minutes ago, Chuckie Finster said:

And Kyle Field adds another championship.
 

I’m not at all surprised that Hamm (not-so) subtly listed aggy as the fan base seeking the most “influence” in that infographic. 
 

However, I am shocked he didn’t put Texas at the bottom with like 4 subscribers. 

[UDontKnow 10,568]

1 hour ago, Tex Pete said:

Judgment has never been his strong suit. Boy. 

[Pato del Muerto 53,454]

49 minutes ago, Chuckie Finster said:

And Kyle Field adds another championship.
 

Excellent graphic that tells you exactly what you need to know. Everything except what the numbers mean.

are they subscribers?  Dollars?  Other?  Chlorine ppb?
 

if subscribers, must you declare a team allegiance?  Can you declare more than one?  If so, does the tally for all of them get a notch if you subscribe to a “PSA” (that acronym is already taken, ironically  for the information on this parenthetical)?

 

[Laxtonto 13,271]

So let me get this straight... he wants to design a system that recruits, so not in college and so not yet eligible for NIL, get kickbacks directly for recruiting info.

So he wants to set up a system that in some states can make them ineligible to play HS football and his potential A&M booster status could be tied them losing the ability to be recruited by A&M?

[cafe society 2,903]

"What is 'If Wile E Coyote and Elizabeth Holmes made a baby?' "

[Burt Macklin 19,230]

6 hours ago, Laxtonto said:

 

So he wants to set up a system that in some states can make them ineligible to play HS football and his potential A&M booster status could be tied them losing the ability to be recruited by A&M?

Hamm’s not an aggy booster. You need to have money for that. 

Edited July 6, 2022 by Burt Macklin

[MonkeyDoughnut 10,803]

Build up fanbase on a recruiting "tool" vs build fanbase on a proven monetary platform like Instagram/Twitter that lives on post recruitment... 

[horn4life 3,838]

I think if you are going to use Hamm's service and you are a high school kid ONLY do this if you parents have a pool.  Pool cleaning will be the one thing Hamm will have to work off his potential legal settlement.

 

[NoName 17,147]

11 hours ago, texifornia said:

 

high school students/recruits in Texas can now get NIL money?!

[derpyhorndog 2,702]

2 minutes ago, NoName said:

high school students/recruits in Texas can now get NIL money?!

The Naritiv’s premium package (aka Lone Star Edition) includes domicile relocation services, ya dumb sip.

[lemonandaturd 4,289]

Sounds like Hamm is trying to be a super "Uncle".  He likely gets money from the subscribers and also doles content out to the recruiting services for another fee, then once the kid signs with aggy, he pays the kid a small portion as NIL.  

[RGBIII 23,014]

9 hours ago, Chuckie Finster said:

And Kyle Field adds another championship.
 

Lol using the word influence at all would have Texas compliance calling me immediately. What an absolute moron

 

NIL: Hey you can do all these things, just make sure you literally don't do just this one thing

Hamm: 

[texifornia 59,010]

[closetojumping 65,379]

This fucking idiot created that dipshitted name and didn’t even check to make sure he could secure the URL. Wow. 

Outside of certain tragic hilarity with all of this, I believe the one other benefit this absurdity will provide is that there is one fanbase dumb enough to wind up backing him in some form. With that group’s support, he’s going to get in the middle of a recruitment or two and royally fuck them up for ATM. 

[Moderator 101]

4 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

This fucking idiot created that dipshitted name and didn’t even check to make sure he could secure the URL. Wow. 

Outside of certain tragic hilarity with all of this, I believe the one other benefit this absurdity will provide is that there is one fanbase dumb enough to wind up backing him in some form. With that group’s support, he’s going to get in the middle of a recruitment or two and royally fuck them up for ATM. 

It's still going to not end well, but https://thenaritiv.com/ 

[NoName 17,147]

6 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

This fucking idiot created that dipshitted name and didn’t even check to make sure he could secure the URL. Wow. 

Outside of certain tragic hilarity with all of this, I believe the one other benefit this absurdity will provide is that there is one fanbase dumb enough to wind up backing him in some form. With that group’s support, he’s going to get in the middle of a recruitment or two and royally fuck them up for ATM. 

of course he had the name, fell in love with it, and didn't check to see if he could get the URL. that is the most Hamm move ever.

[Pato del Muerto 53,454]

4 minutes ago, Moderator said:

It's still going to not end well, but https://thenaritiv.com/ 

That’s going to get Ohio state lawyers involved, now that they have control over… that definite article. 

[Moderator 101]

Also, does he realize that Narativ and Naritiv are pronounced differently?  The first is pronounced like Narrative, the second?  Who the fuck knows?

[Chooky 13,340]

3 minutes ago, Moderator said:

Also, does he realize that Narativ and Naritiv are pronounced differently?  The first is pronounced like Narrative, the second?  Who the fuck knows?

Nar-Ree-Teev

[Pato del Muerto 53,454]

Do not continue to take naritiv if you are allergic to naritiv.  Possible side effects include thin skin, frequent urges to use the restroom, anal bleeding, vaginitis, and persistent narcissism. 

Edited July 6, 2022 by Pato del Muerto

[Deej 77,807]

Don't forget stunted growth. 

[Blotto 24,011]

7 minutes ago, Moderator said:

It's still going to not end well, but https://thenaritiv.com/ 

I guess they are just gonna roll with "The furure of sports world" as their tag line? That's the kind of attention to detail that makes me think this venture is gonna be yuuuuuuuuge.

[Pato del Muerto 53,454]

2 minutes ago, Blotto said:

I guess they are just gonna roll with "The furure of sports world" as their tag line? That's the kind of attention to detail that makes me think this venture is gonna be yuuuuuuuuge.

Aside from that, neither button works. I guess this is a pre-live marketing push of some sort?  

[SydneyCarton 49,477]

6 minutes ago, Blotto said:

I guess they are just gonna roll with "The furure of sports world" as their tag line? That's the kind of attention to detail that makes me think this venture is gonna be yuuuuuuuuge.

I never before realized that this pic ALSO looks like it might have been taken in a bathroom…

That or a utility closer. This is the kind of promotional expertise and resources that will have kids lining up to become ineligible. 

[Chopper 17,430]

7 minutes ago, Blotto said:

I guess they are just gonna roll with "The furure of sports world" as their tag line? That's the kind of attention to detail that makes me think this venture is gonna be yuuuuuuuuge.

I had to check the lyrics of Nick Lowe's "Little Hitler" to make sure it wasn't written about Hamm.

[Chopper 17,430]

Video from Hamm's 4th of July party has reportedly emerged. The little guy who lights the fuse and then almost gets blown up near the tire is reportedly Hamm. #thenaritiv

 

[Blotto 24,011]

5 minutes ago, Chopper said:

Video from Hamm's 4th of July party has reportedly emerged. The little guy who lights the fuse and then almost gets blown up near the tire is reportedly Hamm. #thenaritiv

[Hozz 1,035]

The furure of sports world

[Gut Wagon 8,219]

44 minutes ago, Blotto said:

I guess they are just gonna roll with "The furure of sports world" as their tag line? That's the kind of attention to detail that makes me think this venture is gonna be yuuuuuuuuge.

Schindler's Listeater 

[Gut Wagon 8,219]

1 hour ago, Moderator said:

Also, does he realize that Narativ and Naritiv are pronounced differently?  The first is pronounced like Narrative, the second?  Who the fuck knows?

"Dairy...Queen"

[texifornia 59,010]

1 hour ago, Moderator said:

Also, does he realize that Narativ and Naritiv are pronounced differently?  The first is pronounced like Narrative, the second?  Who the fuck knows?

This feels like one of those pin/pen cot/caught things.

[Sejjr 3,250]

This is just better than I imagined it could be. Has there ever been a better example of aggy than Taylor Hamm? He is the literal personification of getting in your own way, again and again. Personally, I am thrilled he is back. The furure looks bright again!

[KYHorn 17,613]

2 hours ago, Blotto said:

I guess they are just gonna roll with "The furure of sports world" as their tag line? That's the kind of attention to detail that makes me think this venture is gonna be yuuuuuuuuge.

 

Actually, the full motto is "The Furure of Sports World for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Aggie"

[Pato del Muerto 53,454]

Maybe he had it translated into Japanese and then back into English. 

[markstanco 12,786]

Meanwhile, back at the aggy athletics and admin office on hearing 6Figgs is "back" in the game:

 

[Tex Pete 21,483]

5 hours ago, Burt Macklin said:

Hamm’s not an aggy booster. You need to have money for that. 

But he does sit in an aggy booster seat.

[Chooky 13,340]

2 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Maybe he had it translated into Japanese and then back into English. 

The Furure of Super Sports World Happy Fun Money Elvis.

[SizzleChest 8,313]

On 7/6/2022 at 2:20 PM, Chooky said:

The Furure of Super Sports World Happy Fun Money Elvis.

Super Karate Death Midget

[TheRealRonWeaver? 1,279]

It still says, "Furure."

[RomaVicta 30,556]

The Furure Juror

 

[Mr. Mojo Risin' 2,207]

I mentioned 6figgs newest venture to a t-shirt aggy at work and got an eye roll followed by, "this won't end well" 🤣

[RomaVicta 30,556]

Amusing coincidence. I found this in my junk email folder just now. Perhaps Hamm is branching out.

I'll let you know what happens after I click the links.

 

 

[Ignatius 4,138]

On 7/7/2022 at 10:26 PM, SizzleChest said:

Super Karate Death Midget

But Taylor has big ambitions, and pants to match…

[Jester 382]

On 7/6/2022 at 8:56 AM, closetojumping said:

This fucking idiot created that dipshitted name and didn’t even check to make sure he could secure the URL. Wow. 

Outside of certain tragic hilarity with all of this, I believe the one other benefit this absurdity will provide is that there is one fanbase dumb enough to wind up backing him in some form. With that group’s support, he’s going to get in the middle of a recruitment or two and royally fuck them up for ATM. 

Which is precisely why we should back him. Fire up Ol Sarge and give that man a soap box already. 

[TheBryMan81 2,633]

On 7/6/2022 at 11:44 AM, markstanco said:

Meanwhile, back at the aggy athletics and admin office on hearing 6Figgs is "back" in the game:

 

Hamm as the bullpen pitcher.

Everyone else as the Phillies catcher

 

 

[NoName 17,147]

x posting from the Jimbo 2023 thread:

this is Hamm's latest tweet if you want a laugh.

didn't he already steal a bunch of people from 247, ESPN and Rivals? technically including himself?

Maisel was at ESPN forever, they hired a guy who was a senior writer for AL.com, Chad Simmons was at both Rivals and Scout. I think the A&M writer for on3 used to work at 247 and Rivals. Hayes Fawcett used to do stuff for 247. Spiegelman used to be a national analyst for Rivals. Gerry Hamilton was at ESPN. the director of scouting and rankings for on3 was a national analyst for 247 (Charles Power.) I think the Ole Miss or the Miss St 247 site totally flipped to On3 from 247, same for one of the tOSU sites. Shea Dixon left 247 for On3.

edit: i didn't even post the saddest thing about this tweet...it has been up for almost 24 full hours and has exactly 1 like (from a private account? or from Hamm's own account?), no RTs, no responses.

[satyanash 15,561]

[Dr. Teeth 5,868]

The time was when watching him coach any other season that he didn’t have Winston. 

[HtownHorn 15,231]

22 minutes ago, satyanash said:

You hired the man after a 5-6 season.