6figs/"Trust the Hamm" greatest hits

[Richter 2413]

6 hours ago, SydneyCarton said:

Oh, it happened. CTJ picked him up at his studio broom closet and everything. Think he even walked him to his door after they noshed at Applebees.  

Don't listen to Viper, he's a CTJ sock. 

I say we start calling him CTEJ instead of CTJ.

[Chopper 17431]

7 hours ago, Machinator said:

EJ Holland is a Hamm sock?

Many similarities. For example, EJ whines about starbucks taking away his pecan muffins the same way I've heard Hamm whines about his wife leaving and taking away his children.

[Chopper 17431]

1234

Edited November 27, 2018 by Chopper
dbl post

[NorLa Horns 1458]

been seeing on reddit, where a bunch of snap-chat hoes are getting turned into the IRS for not paying taxes on their paid snaps. 

anybody look into whether our boy has been paying his on all that FB bank hes been pulling in?

[KYHorn 17614]

51 minutes ago, NorLa Horns said:

been seeing on reddit, where a bunch of snap-chat hoes are getting turned into the IRS for not paying taxes on their paid snaps. 

anybody look into whether our boy has been paying his on all that FB bank hes been pulling in?

You're not required to pay taxes on income less than $12,000 for single individuals. So he's in definitely in the clear there. 

[Machinator 32103]

[Chuckie Finster 23048]

"at steak"

[Butch Had Not 3060]

No mention of us. Does not compute. 

[Knoxtnhorn 6305]

Yeah.  A mediocre team beat a mediocre team at home.  Watch out world!

[Pato del Muerto 53471]

Jimbo’s team doesn’t cover the spread, means greatness around the corner. 

[HtownHorn 15230]

The hilarious part is no one outside of college station is giving aggy credit for that "win." Everyone with a brain knows LSU really won that game multiple times. aggy has a ceiling of 8-4 next year, and will likely lose more games than that.

[MonkeyDoughnut 10803]

yeah, something about storming the field in a "historic" win when you were the favored team.  Even Vegas knew LSU was over ranked

[Funk Doctor Spock 13284]

37 minutes ago, Chuckie Finster said:

"at steak"

"becoming"

[Tex Pete 21486]

1 hour ago, Chuckie Finster said:

"at steak"

Meat judging talk not going away.

[Scholz 12305]

I love how the crazy old hag just assumes a finish of 9-4.  aggy's bowl game won't be at home with super friendly cheating refs, gross old woman.

edit: Along those lines, I'm pretty sure that aggy will have more than 3 total penalties called against them in the bowl game

Edited November 28, 2018 by Scholz

[Orange&White 5573]

1 hour ago, Scholz said:

I love how the crazy old hag just assumes a finish of 9-4.  aggy's bowl game won't be at home with super friendly cheating refs, gross old woman.

edit: Along those lines, I'm pretty sure that aggy will have more than 3 total penalties called against them in the bowl game

I was just coming to post this.

It is obvious this is Karen's first year around the aggies to think a bowl win is a foregone conclusion. 

[Vertigo 20492]

4 hours ago, Chuckie Finster said:

"at steak"

"Things are gonna be the way they were!!!"

"Jimbo will becoming to Death Valley with hell on his side!!"

Honestly you just can't make this stuff up. 

[Angry Gorilla 1771]

5 minutes ago, Vertigo said:

"Things are gonna be the way they were!!!"

"Jimbo will becoming to Death Valley with hell on his side!!"

Honestly you just can't make this stuff up. 

Recruiting wise

[RomaVicta 30574]

6 minutes ago, Vertigo said:

"Things are gonna be the way they were!!!"

"Jimbo will becoming to Death Valley with hell on his side!!"

Honestly you just can't make this stuff up. 

Actually, you can only make this stuff up. 

RomaVicta will becoming [sic] to the Miss Universe Pageant with hell on his side! 

Nope, he'll be thumbing his nuts and dreaming of next year just like the Aggies.

[theaveragejon 1104]

"And, now sign a big time class and keep on keeping on"

That English. My god. 

[lemonandaturd 4289]

Meemaw sure enjoyed Limber Jimb's member.  What a ride!!!  Keep on keeping on!!

[Scholz 12305]

1 hour ago, RomaVicta said:

Actually, you can only make this stuff up. 

You can't make such a thing up.  I dare you to even try.  Maybe the television was broke.

[Machinator 32103]

[Katfid54 9005]

If Herman has the ability to unilaterally decide what actions of the other team will lead to a 15-yard penalty, I sure hope he uses it to better effect than just getting them to penalize the horns down.  How about a 15-yard penalty everytime an opponent gets a first down?  Or a 15 yard penalty every time we have a play that goes for less than 3 yards? Those would be very helpful.  I hope Skirt Herman can implement them in the future.

[Scholz 12305]

Hey, ugly, disgusting, old baglady, you skirts could mock us too if only you didn't keep ducking us.  aggys calling out anyone's masculinity is hilarious.

edit: concerning your beloved Jimbo's manliness btw, he fled the ACC to avoid all of the Clemson prison rapings he was getting there.

Edited November 29, 2018 by Scholz

[Leanderman 2365]

While we play in the post season, she will be playing with herself...………...again.

[rickyspub 801]

4 minutes ago, Scholz said:

Hey, ugly, disgusting, old baglady, you skirts could mock us too if only you didn't keep ducking us.  aggys calling out anyone's masculinity is hilarious.

edit: concerning your beloved Jimbo's manliness btw, he fled the ACC to avoid all of the Clemson prison rapings he was getting there.

Which is sad, because the real reason for getting away from FSU should have been the embarrassment of having your wife going through the AD directory looking for real men to give her some satisfaction in bed. 

[Pato del Muerto 53471]

It’s going to be so different this game, with all the ou fans doing horns down. 

[Lobwedgephil 1146]

Hamm was clearly drunk at 5 yesterday, and the way the night went I am sure that got worse. Wonder if he woke up today. Guess he probably did when his parents went to work. 

[texifornia 59013]

1 minute ago, Lobwedgephil said:

Hamm was clearly drunk at 5 yesterday, and the way the night went I am sure that got worse. Wonder if he woke up today. Guess he probably did when his parents went to work.  

He's now pulling for Beaty to return

 

[Butch Had Not 3060]

3 minutes ago, texifornia said:

He's now pulling for Beaty to return

 

Beaty is not going to aggy. I can say that with extreme confidence.  I have no inside info but he won't due to his current relationship with herman and probably lack of relationship with jimbo. 

[Lobwedgephil 1146]

Killing it.

[Katfid54 9005]

Just now, Lobwedgephil said:

Killing it.

Oh shit that's sad.

Let's assume that each member actually pays $9.95/month (I think that's unlikely), year round.  That's max revenue of $39,521.40.  Take into account the fact that Hamm travels all over the state for games and, as we know, fronts recruits money to make commitment videos.  Then take into account taxes (ignoring that he probably has to pay some modicum of child support, since he's probably not primary custodian of his kids).  And what does it all add up to?  Hamm is one broke ass dude.

[Terry Silver 219]

4 minutes ago, Butch Had Not said:

Beaty is not going to aggy. I can say that with extreme confidence.  I have no inside info but he won't due to his current relationship with herman and probably lack of relationship with jimbo. 

Aggy will pay any amount of money to get Beaty because it will reinforce their "greatness" in their own minds.  He will be the first $2M receivers coach.  

[Katfid54 9005]

1 minute ago, Terry Silver said:

Aggy will pay any amount of money to get Beaty because it will reinforce their "greatness" in their own minds.  He will be the first $2M receivers coach.  

Dude's gonna be coaching in Austin next year.

[SydneyCarton 49479]

4 minutes ago, Terry Silver said:

Aggy will pay any amount of money to get Beaty because it will reinforce their "greatness" in their own minds.  He will be the first $2M receivers coach.  

Yeah, no. 

[UncleBuck 6455]

6 minutes ago, Katfid54 said:

Dude's gonna be coaching in Austin next year.

Somewhere online in January:

 

Jimmie: "Sure wish we could have gotten Beatty here to coach our TEs"

 

Hamm: "Fuck no, he can't coach TEs"

[texifornia 59013]

EJ is going full troll. Big fan.

 

[RGBIII 23014]

3 minutes ago, texifornia said:

EJ is going full troll. Big fan.

 

EJs hate for aggy might be his only redeeming quality...but its a hell of a good quality to have!

[Terry Silver 219]

24 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

Yeah, no. 

Never underestimate aggy's inferiority complex and stupidity.

[SydneyCarton 49479]

1 minute ago, Terry Silver said:

Never underestimate aggy's inferiority complex and stupidity.

I'm not. I'm taking into account Beaty's past ties to aTm, lack of ties to Jimbo Fisher, and existing ties to Tom Herman. 

[Butch Had Not 3060]

Just now, SydneyCarton said:

I'm not. I'm taking into account Beaty's past ties to aTm, lack of ties to Jimbo Fisher, and existing ties to Tom Herman. 

How much of a shithole is collie station that you leave to coach at kansas? And the worst of the worst Kansas. 

[SydneyCarton 49479]

2 minutes ago, Butch Had Not said:

How much of a shithole is collie station that you leave to coach at kansas? And the worst of the worst Kansas. 

I dunno...a few years of good HC money and the guy coached at Kansas before under Mangino? But I mean, yes, shithole. 

[Sejjr 3250]

I am sure Hamm and aggy will point out the "great relationship" between Beatty and Sternberger being a huge selling point for him too. 

[Pato del Muerto 53471]

2 hours ago, texifornia said:

He's now pulling for Beaty to return

 

This here is how you professionally post on social media, when social media is your chosen income delivery stream. 

[You don't know me 1163]

3 hours ago, Terry Silver said:

Aggy will pay any amount of money to get Beaty because it will reinforce their "greatness" in their own minds.  He will be the first $2M receivers coach.  

They'll probably fuck it up and hire Ned instead.  There's a joke in there somewhere re: squealing like a pig but I'm not on my game today.

[theaveragejon 1104]

3 hours ago, texifornia said:

EJ is going full troll. Big fan.

 

Of course the ONE like that Tyrel God's son got was none other than prison pussy. 

[Vertigo 20492]

4 hours ago, texifornia said:

EJ is going full troll. Big fan.

 

[CL Horn 32]

5 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

This here is how you professionally post on social media, when social media is your chosen income delivery stream. 

hamm so dumb smh

[texifornia 59013]

There's some rich, delicious irony peppered all through this one