Managing a large group

[Bevo 13,596]

I have a friend who is about to become director of a medical facility. He will manage about 30 people. It is not much different from managing any other group of people. For managers who have switched to a new company, what did you do on your first day? What do you think would be a good schedule for the first day on the job? About 60% of the employees are female so first, he should scan for the best looking and out of those, determine who is most likely to have daddy issues. After that, I am drawing a blank - maybe hold a meeting to introduce himself to the team.

[blacklab 11,943]

Randomly fire a few people every day. The rest will fall in line soon.

[woohorn 1,131]

1) Walk up to the biggest dude in the breakroom

2) Savagely beat him

3) ???

4) Profit

[Loco 3,753]

21 minutes ago, blacklab said:

Randomly fire a few people every day. The rest will fall in line soon.

The Ultimate 15 day management plan!

[CooterBrown 18,022]

99% of your management issues will be caused by 1-2 members of the staff. Figure out who those fucksticks are and cut them off at the knees.

[RDCanecutter 26,465]

Delegate. He should at most be managing 4 other people, whose job will be to terrorize the remaining 26.

[Guest Lobo]

Have him ask himself about his fascination about leading people.  Why do people need people?  And so on, get very existential and esoteric.  

For instance, someone asked me to run for city council and then mayor.  To lead people, you see.  And I almost did it, until someone reminded me that I would have to be in charge of people, deal with people, listen to people, and talk with people.  And so I declined.  And now you all have this wonderful council to deal with.  

But yeah, little shit like links of accountability go a long way.  The Trader Joe's model, if you will.  I'm actually a big believer even though it literally came from Nazis.  

[Js1 85,522]

Jesus how do you make everything about yourself so easily? 

[Upgrayedd 5,818]

Blackmail has always worked for me.  Tried and true.

[Gil Bang 25,998]

install a hidden camera in the ladie's shitter.

[tx 3 putt 77,328]

identify the leaders / influencers asap and more importantly, identify what's driving them 

[Guest Lobo]

1 hour ago, Js1 said:

Jesus how do you make everything about yourself so easily? 

Your inability to read fictional sarcasm in even the simplest of forms is a disturbing commentary on your subpar intelligence (fucking jokes man!).  Read the sentences in the tone you would read anything else I post.  Who the fuck would ask me to run for mayor?  Jesus, that's like asking you to make children.  The saltiness is overt, the fiction is implied.  By my point does actually remain true, that leading teams is just the worst.  Was agreeing with some of the other sentiments on the thread.  I don't know where you're more fun-board meetings or cocktail parties.  I picture you at the holidays saying shit like, "I don't even know who you are anymore" without any sense if irony.  Just re-read, drink up, and go night-night Sally.  

But I do remain attached to the Trader Joe's model.  I mean, I know that school of leadership has different names/mantras...but I think it's valuable and a group of 30 like posted above is probably an ideal platform for it because I would imagine that's about enough people, but not too many, where everybody kinda knows each other and their other tasks.  You do it with 10 and it's condescending and over 50-100 and it's just some bullshit annual team-exercise where you don't really get into the weeds with one another.  Groups of that size can really benefit though.  

Edited December 10, 2019 by Lobo

[destroya 380]

A lot of words about you liking the Trader Joe’s model. So what is the Trader Joe’s model? 

[Guest Lobo]

I don't actually remember the name (if it even had one), it has its roots in several leadership schools.  It may not even have a name.  It started long before this "Culture before Mission" bullshit that's trending as of late.  It was brought to them by Aldi (their parent company from Deutschland).  At its core though, it develops not just false respect by the managers coming by and watching the underlings do stuff.  They switch out, not just cosmetically, but for substantial periods of time, and are all tied to one another's weekly/monthly/quarterly/annually metrics.  It obviously can apply to other fields besides grocery.  But Aldi really installed it stateside long ago, but it naturally and organically spun off a "cultural" vibe that everybody with a yoga mat and smoothie is trying to emulate (again, well beyond the CPG market).  The aura is one thing, but they way they tie in reporting metrics is really fascinating.  I have some stuff on it I'll go dig up on a deep dive they showed us.  Reason I brought it up a couple times is because it's been proven out across hundreds of market verticals, but it admits its own limitation---a really small group---the mutual incentive thing breaks down as does time/energy sharing.  And it really breaks down again around 75+.  30-50 is the sweet-spot.  This got me thinking about it again, particularly since I'm thinking of running for mayor of my make-believe 50-person town, Loboburg.  

Edited December 10, 2019 by Lobo

[52-80 19,226]

3 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

identify the leaders / influencers asap and more importantly, identify what's driving them 

listen to this guy. he's pre-mba

[Buzzrock 14,936]

I don’t know but 30 directs is too many. Most I ever had was 14 and that was a lot. I’ve been happily individually contributing for the last ten years though.

[jimmyjazz 46,088]

3 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

I don’t know but 30 directs is too many. Most I ever had was 14 and that was a lot. I’ve been happily individually contributing for the last ten years though.

I was about to say this -- are all 30 direct reports?  That's insane.  I don't think I've ever had more than about 8 and even that was a handful.  I didn't enjoy it.

[bschoolprof 6,271]

I'm sure most top leaders of organizations spend their days surfing Surly looking to hand out advice on said leadership.  

[StruggleBus 3,922]

The biggest thing is to pretend like you care. Pretend like you give a fuck about their stupid, worthless lives outside of the office. Pretend to be compassionate. Pretend to listen to their stupid concerns and thoughts around how to make their jobs more efficient. 

Then ignore all of their bullshit and figure out a way to fire the morons (with cause of course). 

Edited December 10, 2019 by StruggleBus

[Guest Lobo]

21 minutes ago, bschoolprof said:

I'm sure most top leaders of organizations spend their days surfing Surly looking to hand out advice on said leadership.  

Who exactly?

top leaders, dr. Jones.  Top leaders!

[ChickenSandwich 9,849]

Boar on the floor

[El Diablo 4,232]

I'll have one of my people draft a response.

[Texaus 377]

I’m not really the manager, just the owner/boss, but my best piece of advice is to every so often let everyone witness your ability to go absolutely insane on the drop of a dime. I will a couple time s a year just demolish an expensive piece of office equipment just for the fuck of it. You want your employees to have a healthy fear of you, it’s worth the price of a laser printer or Milwaukee cordless drill.

[Brisketexan 105,268]

 

I have it on good authority that the trick is kick someone's ass the first day, or become somebody's bitch.

[Buzzrock 14,936]

Determine everyone’s strengths and then assign work accordingly. Worst mistake I made as a new manager was trying to spread work around evenly.

And make sure your goals are aligned to and impacting the company’s goals in measurable ways. If they aren’t then you and your team are expendable.

[StruggleBus 3,922]

This thread is severely lacking in useless MBA buzzwords. I am disappoint.

[tx 3 putt 77,328]

28 minutes ago, StruggleBus said:

This thread is severely lacking in useless MBA buzzwords. I am disappoint.

Blue Ocean vs. Red Oceans

Circle of Death

anything with >>>> 'data' or 'analytics' 

 

yall quit being pussies, 30 direct reports nothing. 50 to 100+ direct reports in downstream is nothing 

 

[jimmyjazz 46,088]

6 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

Blue Ocean vs. Red Oceans

I've been at a startup for the past few years.  We have no marketing department, which is one of the great perks of a startup.  What's the meaning of this particular phrase?  

[tx 3 putt 77,328]

Find / develop / feed in Clean blue oceans. Red oceans are muddied and over saturated 

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2,738]

I don’t know what to tell you but don’t move any cheese.

[Bevo&Pevo 5,217]

Order a new couch for his office.

[RDCanecutter 26,465]

14 hours ago, jimmyjazz said:

I've been at a startup for the past few years. 

Seems like by this point it should be a fossilized behemoth that has lost all its spark, but you still get to yell at those new punks.

[Spur08 382]

I have nearly 30 direct reports.  It sucks and has opened my eyes that I absolutely hate some types of people.  Jocko Willink (ex-Seal, writer, pretty good podcast) has a few books on executive management and, in general, decent life habits that I've attempted to implement in my management style.  Probably the most important of them, particularly when you're leading 30 people, is decentralized command.  I have 2 assistant managers that I hand of a lot to and, both of whom, clearly understand my overall objective(s).  I trust them to implement my plan and provide honest feedback. It's worked pretty well thus far and, as a plus, helps foster and develop their leadership skills as well.

 

One other thing that I've learned....no matter what you do, there will always be negative people and they are a fucking cancer.  I give those people the shit duties until they choose to leave.

[HRSchenker 2,273]

Lots of good advice here. I'll tell you the 4 biggest problems that are going to cause problems for you that I've run into as a manager of a large group

1. Employees who go by the book instead of using their damn common sense. You'd think that those people who follow the rules would not be a problem but they will cost you money. You have to figure out where the line is between giving them the freedom to make competent decisions and letting them burn the building to the ground.
2. Employees who bring up irrelevant problems, have dumb complaints, etc. These are the folks who see Jack grab a trash can to catch water leaking from the ceiling and then email corporate that he's not answering the phone within 3 rings. Or the folks who bring up stupid ass stories in the middle of meetings that totally derail the purpose of the meeting.
3. When you're doing a group presentation or about to send something out to a whole bunch of people, it's the jackass who focuses only on grammar and spelling. Sure they're both important but save that shit for the very end. I can't tell you how many times I've been with a group of people who waste hours on "is it a umbrella or an umbrella" and wonder why the project isn't coming along at all. Shut those fuckers down.
4. When sending email, don't CC everyone and anyone. Including someone on a CC and directing a message to them is not an adequate substitute for a direct email. If your CC doesn't directly involve me then I'm probably going to filter it out or ask that you take me off the list so I can avoid overload. 

[FartingMonk 3,608]

That's easy.  Find the leader of the bully clique.  There always is one.  Take out your sidearm and shoot him in the head.  Make the other members of said clique clean up the mess and bury the body.  After that use corporate card to take everyone out to a team lunch.  

[dirtonia 269]

Something about carrots and sticks.