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The continued assault on Christmas. 2020 thread

Parliament

By Parliament
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Junior Miller

Junior Miller 1,502

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Why would anyone wage war on a fake holiday attributing the springtime birth of a human to the date of the Roman solstice holiday "Saturnalia" as a way of assimilating conquered and brutalized natives to yet another new religion with new dieties sometime around the 4th century? 

Should we also be waging war on the Athenian holidays of Anthesteria, Apaturia, Dionysia, and just to follow with our mysoginistic society Thesmophoria too? Why not? Let's wage war on it all. 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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I'm declaring a War on some Catholic Bullshit.  Since when the fuck is January 1st a Holy Day of Obligation?  The Solemnity of Mary?  I think she's a dynamite gal, but we need a special day called "Solemnity" in the Catholic Church?  As opposed to all those other masses that are so upbeat and boisterous, we gotta be solemn this one time in Church?  Anyway, wife wants the whole family to go, but I'm gonna still be hungover in San Antonio on January 1st. 

War on Solemnity!  Solemnity Now, Insanity Later!  

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InkaUtexas

InkaUtexas 25,517

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8 minutes ago, Lobo said:

I'm declaring a War on some Catholic Bullshit.  Since when the fuck is January 1st a Holy Day of Obligation?  The Solemnity of Mary?  I think she's a dynamite gal, but we need a special day called "Solemnity" in the Catholic Church?  As opposed to all those other masses that are so upbeat and boisterous, we gotta be solemn this one time in Church?  Anyway, wife wants the whole family to go, but I'm gonna still be hungover in San Antonio on January 1st. 

War on Solemnity!  Solemnity Now, Insanity Later!  

Just tell her you are changing your spiritual path. 

festivus-7113951-1024x523.jpg

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Blotto

Blotto 23,434

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1 hour ago, sidis said:

i swear to god, i would be willing to deal with another season of beck and orlando if it meant you were never allowed to start another thread.

No shit. The bigger offense here is Parliament's continued assault on intelligence. Negged for being a mouth breathing retard. 

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RomaVicta

RomaVicta 29,784

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Fire the employee? Get tough. Summary execution is the way to send a message.

I love how the issue about this greeting over the years has turned many people's holiday greeting into a snarling, challenging, "Merry Christmas." 

Yes, let's fuck up happy greetings to strangers in the coldest part of the year by politicizing exactly how the greeting gets conveyed. Thanks O'Reilly and FOX! Merry Christmas!

Edited by RomaVicta
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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Why is it Merry Christmas only in the U.S.?  All other countries, give or take a few mistranslations here and there, say "Happy Christmas."  And we don't put "Merry" in front of other holidays, particularly those of a religious tone.  There's no "Merry Easter", and I'm told by Catholics that is because there is nothing Merry about that day, since Jesus had just recently been murdered.  Da fuh?  Isn't "Happy Easter" more of an affront than "Merry Easter".  

Can we compromise, and be more in line with the global tradition and combine Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas, and say "Happy Christmas." 

Better yet, remind whiny ass "War on Christmas" wanna-be martyrs that the very word "Holidays" means HOLY!  Get a fucking dictionary you fucking drags.  

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Goredho

Goredho 17,348

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42 minutes ago, Chad Fuck said:

This whole thread is awesome on multiple levels that entertain me immensely.  It's got everything.

 

Same time next year?  Like that going to see the Christmas lights thing in Waco or whatever? 

 

The War against Christmas has no end.  We'll score a temporary victory come Dec 26th, but 11 months later, when Christmas is forgotten and you finally think its safe to venture back to Walmart...

BOOM!

544262c193a3390dad4f3a61e6b100af.jpg

HoneyBooBoo's mom trucks your ass on her way to the toy section on Black Friday 2020.

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Junior Miller

Junior Miller 1,502

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1 hour ago, Lobo said:

Can we compromise, and be more in line with the global tradition and combine Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas, and say "Happy Christmas." 

I'm more partial to Merry Holidays. 

 

1 hour ago, Lobo said:

  There's no "Merry Easter", and I'm told by Catholics that is because there is nothing Merry about that day, since Jesus had just recently been murdered. 

  

those are some people who don't even know the most fundamental basics of their own religion as Easter is a celebration of the resurrection from death of Christ and ascension to heaven at the right hand of God the Father. There is literally no "Merrier" day in the Christian religion than that one. 

Ash Wednesday would be the solemn day in remembrance of the murder of Christ at the hands of the Romans yet Christians have the ritual of partying like their lives are about to end the day before it. 

This is what I say to people who questioned me about religion. 99% of the people that believe this stuff don't even really know what they're believing. They just believe it because they were born into families that believed it and were made as children to believe it. It's nothing more than cultural brainwashing of the highest order and it boggles my mind how as adults people refuse to question the supernatural things they were inundated with as a child. I mean at least study it enough to know what you're actually fucking believing. 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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I thought the murder of Christ "began" on Palm Sunday.  I know what we do NOW on Ash Wednesday, but what actually happened on that fateful Hump Day?  

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Junior Miller

Junior Miller 1,502

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Since Easter Sunday falls on a different date each year it cannot be an exact date celebration of the Resurrection in the same way Christmas is portrayed as a celebration of the exact birth day. Palm Sunday is more solemn than Easter as it is a representation of Jesus's march back into Jerusalem to face captivity and execution. Good Friday is the remembrance of the actual captivity and execution period. 

Ash Wednesday is also more of a solemn remembrance as it has a dual meaning. It is both a preparation for the coming suffering of Christ and a remembrance of the 40-day solitary excursion in the Judean desert in which Christ was tempted by Satan but rebuked him over the course of the 40 days in obedience to the Father. Nothing actually happened on Ash Wednesday but since it's the start of the 40 days of temptation and suffering and culminating with the joyous celebration of Easter it is probably regarded as the most solemn "holiday" on the Christian calendar. 

 

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ndawg

ndawg 1,242

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11 minutes ago, Junior Miller said:

Since Easter Sunday falls on a different date each year it cannot be an exact date celebration of the Resurrection in the same way Christmas is portrayed as a celebration of the exact birth day. Palm Sunday is more solemn than Easter as it is a representation of Jesus's march back into Jerusalem to face captivity and execution. Good Friday is the remembrance of the actual captivity and execution period. 

Ash Wednesday is also more of a solemn remembrance as it has a dual meaning. It is both a preparation for the coming suffering of Christ and a remembrance of the 40-day solitary excursion in the Judean desert in which Christ was tempted by Satan but rebuked him over the course of the 40 days in obedience to the Father. Nothing actually happened on Ash Wednesday but since it's the start of the 40 days of temptation and suffering and culminating with the joyous celebration of Easter it is probably regarded as the most solemn "holiday" on the Christian calendar. 

 

Google "September 1752" if you really want to dispel any illusions about these dates having any meaning whatsoever.

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Biff Tannen

Biff Tannen 45,494

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     So, the Pagan religion had very big festivals, remember, on Easter and Christmas. Christian religion came along and had very big festivals at Easter and Christmas. Jesus died on one and was born on the other. Hm hm hm hm?!
 

Cuz, Jesus, I do think, did exist, you know, and, he, uh, was, uh, a guy I think had interesting ideas in the Ghandi type area in the, um, Nelson Mandela type area. You know, relaxed and groovy. And, uh, the Romans thought, "Relaxed and groovy. No no no no no!" Um, so they murdered him.

And then kids eat chocolate eggs because of the color of the chocolate and the color of the wood on the cross . . . well, you tell me! It's got nothing to do with it, has it?! 


     You got people going, "Remember kids," the kids are eating the chocolate eggs, going, "Remember kids, Jesus died for your sins." 
     "Yeah, I know, it's great!" 
     "No, no. It's bad! It's bad!" 
     "It's bad, it's very bad! It's terrible! Whatever you want. I mean, just keep giving me these eggs." 
     And the bunny rabbits! Where do they come into the crucifixion? There were no bunny rabbits up on the hill going, "Hey, what're ya gonna put these crosses in our warrens? We live below this hill, alright?" Bunny rabbits are for shagging, eggs are for fertility! It's a festival, it's the spring festival!

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Guest Lobo

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I remember the night at the Paladium, I saw Biff Tannen open for Eddie Izzard.  Mind.  Blown.  \

And then Sebastian just kept stacking the wooden matches.  

Again, with the fucking matches!  

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Bullneck

Bullneck 18,987

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12 hours ago, Junior Miller said:

Why would anyone wage war on a fake holiday attributing the springtime birth of a human to the date of the Roman solstice holiday "Saturnalia" as a way of assimilating conquered and brutalized natives to yet another new religion with new dieties sometime around the 4th century? 

Should we also be waging war on the Athenian holidays of Anthesteria, Apaturia, Dionysia, and just to follow with our mysoginistic society Thesmophoria too? Why not? Let's wage war on it all. 

Look at the big brain on Junior!!!

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