Any fellow expert martial artists here?

[closetohumping 17439]

Two quick questions. Is it true that by law, we have to warn any potential combatant that we are black belts?  And, do we have to register our lethal weapons.

 

Bonus question: Those of you that are jujitsu practitioners, how do you keep your junk from waking up when mounting a woman?

[ROFL BOX 6649]

Not an expert, only a former practitioner.

Kodokan Judo, Shorin-Ryu Karate.

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[RexWilson 1346]

I watched a couple of videos of Rex Kwon Do

[ROFL BOX 6649]

JUDY CHOP!

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[HornsOverIthaca 2333]

I can tell you the following:
1.    Ninjas are mammals.
2.    Ninjas fight ALL the time.
3.    The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.

[Bigbend1812 12915]

[michaelpshayes 417]

[deadshank 24652]

 

[BabaYaga 15290]

Proud BJJ white belt.  Did Judo as a kid.  Not much else when playing sports in HS/college.  

I can say, if you are paired with a woman, she is considerably more advanced than you are and is there to teach a particular technique.  Your junk the last thing on your mind as you are furiously trying to figure out what this little 130lb assassin is doing and not get choked or tapped out.  The best quote I've seen/heard is it's like playing chess in a dryer....that's on.   

[66BUFF 2562]

On 12/15/2019 at 3:30 AM, ROFL BOX said:

 Karate.

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The Dane Cook of martial arts

[BabaYaga 15290]

2 hours ago, 66BUFF said:

The Dane Cook of martial arts

[bernorange 8359]

 

[Incredulity 11665]

Look up The Quart of Blood Technique.

[closetohumping 17439]

One god damn serious response.   Fuck you people

[bernorange 8359]

Oh, you were serious in the OP?

On 12/15/2019 at 12:56 AM, closetohumping said:

Two quick questions. Is it true that by law, we have to warn any potential combatant that we are black belts?  And, do we have to register our lethal weapons.

No. No.

On 12/15/2019 at 12:56 AM, closetohumping said:

Bonus question: Those of you that are jujitsu practitioners, how do you keep your junk from waking up when mounting a woman?

Username checks out and is kind of rapey.

Edited December 17, 2019 by bernorange

[deft 6845]

I can tell you the following:
1.    Ninjas are mammals.
2.    Ninjas fight ALL the time.
3.    The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.

Ninjas can kill anyone they want! Ninjas cut off heads ALL the time and don’t even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this ninja who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.
And that’s what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[wd40 1976]

OP obviously has taken a couple boots to the head

[El Diablo 4232]

You ninjas be cray.

[Sbbruin 21843]

My kicks are fast as lightning.

[66BUFF 2562]

46 minutes ago, Sbbruin said:

My kicks are fast as lightning.

Do you have expert timing?

[BabaYaga 15290]

14 hours ago, Incredulity said:

Look up The Quart of Blood Technique.

Also called "it's that time, let's leave mommy alone this weekend"...

[deadshank 24652]

On 12/15/2019 at 12:56 AM, closetohumping said:

 

Bonus question: Those of you that are jujitsu practitioners, how do you keep your junk from waking up when mounting a woman?

The jiujitsu guy  thinks about how disappointed his boyfriend will be when he learns about the infidelity?

[HornsOverIthaca 2333]

3 hours ago, El Diablo said:

You ninjas be cray.

Ninja please

[RDCanecutter 26411]

I was a villain in a home-made Kung Fu movie. At the time, I had taken no Kung Fu.

In one scene, where I was kicking the hero's ass, I busted up my shoulder pretty good. I was supposed to ram into the hero at a run and knock him over. The actor playing the hero had some training, and it was like ramming my shoulder into a telephone pole. The cameraman had to do about ten takes. Halfway through, I felt a weird "pop."

A week later, we shot the scene where the hero has overcome his initial beatdown, gotten all Kung Fuey, and takes out the bad guys (one of whom was me.) I wore a padded motorcycle jacket and got flipped over a banister, and it hurt less than the previous fight that I'd "won."

[wd40 1976]

[Ignatius 4017]

On 12/17/2019 at 8:51 AM, 66BUFF said:

Do you have expert timing?

Based on this thread, the future is more than a little bit frightening...

[Rockwell Torrey 1280]

This hits close to home.  I live in Japan.  Ninjas all over the fucking place.

[Marfa Low Crown 2546]

Here in San Antonio there's a fair amount of Mexican judo. Judo know if I've got a knife or a gun ese 

[ROFL BOX 6649]

14 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

I've rolled with the former (?) US lightweight champion who is actually pretty damn attractive.

Back around '96 I went to a few sessions with the UT Judo club in the W side upper gym areas of Memorial Stadium.

Got my ass kicked by the former Junior National Champion of the Netherlands.
Also, most of the group were into freestyle rock climbing.  After class, damn near everyone was into every crack, crease & crevice of that space & it was like an armpit of wold spiders in there.