I've seen Star Wars Episode IX The Rise of Skywalker Reddit Spoilers Proven True or Not

[Parliament 14260]

Wow. You subverted my expectations, Rian J style.  I thought I’d find you here breathlessly apologizing for this turd, but you are spot the fuck on.  Rian is 10x the filmmaker JJ is.  Abrams is such a wanna-be Spielberg overrated fucking hack wanker. He’s an imitator who can frame cool shots. 
The 1.5x speed  National Treasure / Uncharted plot-a-long was bad. The retconning (Leia’s saber) was confusing. But the Palpy shit was just egregiously terrible. Everything from his vaguely explained resurrection, to the giant army appearing out of nowhere, to the Rey reveal, to who the hell are these faceless cult followers cheering in the stands? 

This movie had fucking diss tracks calling out the previous movie. Lol! I was like... is this really happening right now? A directors’ beef on screen? Christ, what a mess. Even with all its flaws, and casino scenes and mishandling of Luke, TLJ is still the most interesting film of the trilogy.  A better filmmaker like Rian Johnson should have been given the reins from the start.

I bet you're fun at parties.

[Slade 263]

Saw it yesterday morning, my expectations were low going in and they managed to drop them into the cellar by the time the movie was over. The sequel trilogy came to a merciful end. JJ Abrams is a hack but he tried to make a sweet potato pie out of the shit pile Rian Johnson left after backing the whole trilogy into a corner with TLJ, but it still fell short. TROS really should have been split into two parts, they tried to pack way too much into 2 1/2 hours. 

Kathleen Kennedy and Rian Johnson screwed the sequel trilogy. Kennedy with her agenda and mismanagement and Johnson for not respecting the boundaries of an established franchise. It's not that he changed things for "subverting expecations", it's that he changed things and offered nothing but hollowness in return. That fucker can have free range to do whatever he wants in his own movies but don't let him anywhere near an established franchise. 

 

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

5 hours ago, CurlyDumps said:

he Palpy shit was just egregiously terrible. Everything from his vaguely explained resurrection, to the giant army appearing out of nowhere,

it was a good thing he waited until the Resistance was pretty much wiped out to bring his giant army out of nowhere, you wouldn't have wanted any of that shit to get dinged up fighting the Rebellion right after Return of the Jedi

it's not good for kids to win all the time

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

12 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

it was a good thing he waited until the Resistance was pretty much wiped out to bring his giant army out of nowhere, you wouldn't have wanted any of that shit to get dinged up fighting the Rebellion right after Return of the Jedi

and I know full well there is probably an episode of the Mandalorian and a cartoon show and a comic book that explain in detail why this was Palpatine's plan and/or the earliest he could come back and all that other shit

it's still stupid

[Red Five 40859]

What matters is the movies. I ain't never read one them Star Wars books, or any books in general for that matter, and I ain't about to start. Don't talk about them stupid video games, or novels, comic books or any of that fucking crap. I seen enough of that shit.

[BrickHorn 18237]

53 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

it was a good thing he waited until the Resistance was pretty much wiped out to bring his giant army out of nowhere, you wouldn't have wanted any of that shit to get dinged up fighting the Rebellion right after Return of the Jedi

it's not good for kids to win all the time

That was really weird.  The whole Palpatine’s-secret-lair-and-army-of-ghouls part was like something out of Lord of the Rings.  JJ turned the Emperor into a knockoff Sauron.  Although the final battle with Rey and Ren had a very Harry Potter feel to it.  Draining the life force from two junior wizards floating in the air just seems like something Voldemort would do, not Emperor Palpatine.  The whole thing felt out of place.

Edited December 21, 2019 by BrickHorn

[Hanrahan 1306]

I don’t have a problem with Sheev surviving without explanation given that Luke, you know, took a similar plunge in TESB.

[mdmost 43002]

Luke took a plunge in a vacuum sealed area (hence when Vader breaks the window and shit gets sucked out) and was sucked out via an exhaust port before he ever hit a surface. He wasn't thrown down a reactor hole, exploded on impact, and then exploded again by the Death Star blowing up. The Palpatine survival was stupid.

[crash_davis 23113]

21 hours ago, rantanamo said:

In the OT, as much as I loved start wars, it always bothered me that Vader spoke on how powerful the force was, but it really just seemed like something Harry Potter could easily defeat.

all of the Harry Potter and Valdy references are lulzy. i had the same thought and reaction when i read the leaks. 

[Levi 2586]

I don’t remember the director’s name that got fired from doing a movie in the sequels but he talked about how papa palps wasn’t supposed to be involved at all. While some say it is not true, I believe him because the whole palpatine survival is a big stretch and imo unnecessary. I  can see the reasons JJ bringing him back tho, but Kylo could have went even darker and we haven’t even touched the knights of ren so there was still plenty left on the table to work with for episode 9. 

[Red Five 40859]

Colin Treverrow. They took one look at his unfinished script for Ep 9 and told him to GTFO. Which is something they didn't even do to Rian Johnson, so there's no telling what that script looked like.

[Levi 2586]

11 minutes ago, Red Five said:

Colin Treverrow. They took one look at his unfinished script for Ep 9 and told him to GTFO. Which is something they didn't even do to Rian Johnson, so there's no telling what that script looked like.

Yeah you’d think Rians plans with Canto Bight and Luke’s actions would have crossed the line but obviously not. 

[Surly Bevo 24918]

21 minutes ago, DoneWithit said:

I don’t remember the director’s name that got fired from doing a movie in the sequels but he talked about how papa palps wasn’t supposed to be involved at all. While some say it is not true, I believe him because the whole palpatine survival is a big stretch and imo unnecessary. I  can see the reasons JJ bringing him back tho, but Kylo could have went even darker and we haven’t even touched the knights of ren so there was still plenty left on the table to work with for episode 9. 

This, Kylo should have been the big bad.  It could have made the early dismissal of Snoke work.  Kylo kills Snoke and goes darker and darker growing extremely powerful in the process (hell if you need the fan service of Palps coming back have Sith from the past in his ear like the Jedi are always nattering in the ears of the heroes). 

Kylo is on the verge of destroying the Resistance and being in position to take over the Republic (still in disarray from that little throw away part where the whole core of the Reublic was destroyed in TFA...lulz) and become a new "Emperor".  Rey and the gang fight and fight and fight with the help from afar of Luke, Leia, Obi-Wan, etc and ultimately kill Kylo ending the blood Skywalker lineage (which happened anyway). 

You don't always need all the "personal redemption" bullshit.  At the end of the day Anakin and Kylo are weak minded fuck stick murderers.  You can put the "oh it's all ok he saved somebody" over on me once with Anakin/Vader saving Luke but no need to go back to that well.   Rey can actually be from nobody of significance still take the name Skywalker due to their guidance in helping her defeat evil and go on to be legend herself.  If you really need redemption then her actions and taking the Skywalker name is a redemption of the name Skywalker rather than an actual Skywalker.

[crash_davis 23113]

watching a shitty cam version. 10 mins in and the movie is already into it's third story line. it feels like i'm watching a bunch of 4 mins youtube videos. and the critiques about quiet moments and actors talking over each other are spot on. 

[ulukinatme 1764]

Palpatine was an unfortunate, but necessary addition to the movie.  When Johnson killed off Snoke prematurely it left a power gap for antagonists going into the final film of the trilogy.  Who was left?  Hux and Kylo.  Hux was never going to be the final confrontation, he was too goofy.  It's possible Kylo could have filled the role, but they've been teasing his redemption since day 1.  With no ultimate antagonist driving the plot, there would be nothing for Rey to overcome.  You can't really introduce a new bad guy and try to build him up in the final film.  You can't introduce Voldemort in Deathly Hollows 2, Sauron wasn't conceived in the Lord of the Rings Part 3.  It stood to reason that Abrams needed an established bad guy for the established heroes to face.  Palpatine unfortunately made the most sense given his powers with the dark side and the way he previously alluded to the Sith being able to cheat death.  It should have been Snoke all along and Johnson should have used the 2nd film to build on that character, but he killed him off in a boneheaded move.

[FondrenRoad 4378]

6 minutes ago, ulukinatme said:

Palpatine was an unfortunate, but necessary addition to the movie.  When Johnson killed off Snoke prematurely it left a power gap for antagonists going into the final film of the trilogy.  Who was left?  Hux and Kylo.  Hux was never going to be the final confrontation, he was too goofy.  It's possible Kylo could have filled the role, but they've been teasing his redemption since day 1.  With no ultimate antagonist driving the plot, there would be nothing for Rey to overcome.  You can't really introduce a new bad guy and try to build him up in the final film.  You can't introduce Voldemort in Deathly Hollows 2, Sauron wasn't conceived in the Lord of the Rings Part 3.  It stood to reason that Abrams needed an established bad guy for the established heroes to face.  Palpatine unfortunately made the most sense given his powers with the dark side and the way he previously alluded to the Sith being able to cheat death.  It should have been Snoke all along and Johnson should have used the 2nd film to build on that character, but he killed him off in a boneheaded move.

Agree. To add to this, Kylo Ren is far too bipolar to be supreme leader. They needed a Big Bad to be above him in the hierarchy. Still, it didn't have to be Palpatine. It could have still been Snoke.  This film even introduced a way for that to happen with the Snoke fetuses in a jar on the Emperor's planet.  There could have been a real Snoke making puppet clones instead of Palpatine doing it. 

The primary flaw in the entire new trilogy is that they decided to make Kylo Ren a copy of Anakin. A whiny bitch that jumps back and forth between good and bad because of toddler level emotional control. It would have been so much better if he was written as a mentally stable bad guy. 

[ulukinatme 1764]

1 minute ago, FondrenRoad said:

Agree. To add to this, Kylo Ren is far too bipolar to be supreme leader. They needed a Big Bad to be above him in the hierarchy. Still, it didn't have to be Palpatine. It could have still been Snoke.  This film even introduced a way for that to happen with the Snoke fetuses in a jar on the Emperor's planet.  There could have been a real Snoke making puppet clones instead of Palpatine doing it. 

The primary flaw in the entire new trilogy is that they decided to make Kylo Ren a copy of Anakin. A whiny bitch that jumps back and forth between good and bad because of toddler level emotional control. It would have been so much better if he was written as a mentally stable bad guy. 

I agree, Kylo should have been stable from the start, then if they still do the redemption angle it would have been a surprise or they could have just left him evil all the way.  Instead they dangle it from day 1 and the payoff falls a bit short at the end. 

I suppose the Snoke they killed in Last Jedi could have just been a clone, but even then Johnson spent much of Last Jedi telling other stories and gave Snoke little screen time.  There was no explanation of his back story, he has one scene I think prior to the showdown with Rey, he almost became a background figure as Johnson focused more on Kylo.   Disney made so many mistakes with this trilogy, failing to put together a cohesive plan and consistent story line doomed them from the start.  They should have stuck to one script broken up for three movies, one director, one vision.  Three visions was never going to work.

[CurlyDumps 4471]

8 hours ago, Parliament said:

11 hours ago, CurlyDumps said:

Wow. You subverted my expectations, Rian J style.  I thought I’d find you here breathlessly apologizing for this turd, but you are spot the fuck on.  Rian is 10x the filmmaker JJ is.  Abrams is such a wanna-be Spielberg overrated fucking hack wanker. He’s an imitator who can frame cool shots. 
The 1.5x speed  National Treasure / Uncharted plot-a-long was bad. The retconning (Leia’s saber) was confusing. But the Palpy shit was just egregiously terrible. Everything from his vaguely explained resurrection, to the giant army appearing out of nowhere, to the Rey reveal, to who the hell are these faceless cult followers cheering in the stands? 

This movie had fucking diss tracks calling out the previous movie. Lol! I was like... is this really happening right now? A directors’ beef on screen? Christ, what a mess. Even with all its flaws, and casino scenes and mishandling of Luke, TLJ is still the most interesting film of the trilogy.  A better filmmaker like Rian Johnson should have been given the reins from the start.

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I bet you're fun at parties.

I bet you’re the JJ Abrams of parties. Regurgitating other people’s jokes word for word.

[RamjetFDO 10575]

Just saw it. Best of the final trilogy... But that's not a stretch. Like others have said, lots of things thrown at the wall, a good number of them stuck.

I could have done without the Crouching Tiger jumping sequences, though.

And (/nocr) there were the several expected woke nods, with the same sex kiss and the obviously female stormtroopers.

[Michael Knight 12981]

Star Wars has now definitely shown that falling into shafts will not kill you.

[South Austin 52510]

42 minutes ago, Michael Knight said:

Star Wars has now definitely shown that falling into shafts will not kill you.

Your mom already showed us that.

[Michael Knight 12981]

Everyone saying Palpatine was necessary because Snoke was killed , like wtf was Snoke other than a stupid copy of the emperor to begin with? Snoke was a fucking dumb unnecessary character to begin with. The entire First Order/Resistance was just stupid writing by JJ Abrams. JJ "ruined" the new trilogy way before Johnson had a chance, at least he fucking tried something different. 

[CooterBrown 18014]

Eh. It was as good as you could do with the steaming pile of shit that was left. Very enjoyable and the breakneck pace kept you from thinking about major plot points. It was good enough.

[CooterBrown 18014]

Eh. It was as good as you could do with the steaming pile of shit that was left. Very enjoyable and the breakneck pace kept you from thinking about major plot points. It was good enough.

[Surly Bevo 24918]

For this whole thing to have been better there should have been an earlier hand off.  Seven should have been the old gang investigating some dare I say.....phantom menace that was unclear what it was.  In that journey of discovery they find the First Order, or Thrawn or whatever the fuck you want.  In the course of that discovery they pick up Rey, Finn, Poe, fucking whoever and score an early victory and fuck since Harrison wanted to die kill Han in that victory.  The first one should have been about 80% about the old gang on one last ride.  Then with the second one things can go to shit, the olds can be killed or die from losing the will to live or whatever the fuck and the kids take over and wreck shop in the third.  

We should have never met Finn Rey and Poe first and there be that search for Luke shit.  Give the fans the old gang right from the jump to service them and then start moving on.  THAT would have made sense.

Edited December 21, 2019 by Surly Bevo

[Michael Knight 12981]

They never should have had the old gang in the first place,  they never should have reversed the happy ending of Jedi

[Mdhorn 5949]

[Snake Diggity 4625]

To me from the beginning the only believable potential villains for the new trilogy were:

1. Luke’s mental trauma and prior dalliance with the dark side combined with his post-war influence leads to him succumbing to the dark side.  And the only ones who can stop him are his kids or nieces/nephews/students.  This is barely believable.

2. The Emperor had learned the rumored power of creating life/preventing death, and that enabled him to survive the fall on the Death Star.  This is a little more believable and would have made a fine story if told correctly.

The Force Awakens was fine.  The Last Jedi was really good aside from the Weak Luke, Canto Bight, and Leia Poppins silliness.  After 7 and 8, the only thing to do was keep Ren as the big bad and leave Rey as a nobody.  If you want a twist, have Rey turn to the dark side and make Finn/Poe prove good trumps evil even if evil has superpowers.

[Hanrahan 1306]

You’re wrong because the Last Jedi was a steaming pile of Bantha shit. You should feel shame.

[Pato del Muerto 52499]

Only the one bantha in this universe, I guess. And Luke killed it. 

[Bodowned 709]

Oof. Thought this one was a miss. Rewatched TFA and TLJ earlier this week and had some appreciation for large sections of both. Just pretty clear that there was no overall story arc in mind when they started this trilogy. It feels like Abrams and Johnson didn’t even talk to each other between movies the way this thing played out.

The Death Star crash planet sequence was definitely the highlight for me. The main cast did a great job in the trilogy as a whole; it’s the plotting that let them down a bit.

[Pato del Muerto 52499]

I just remembered that after 2 Death Stars and a star killer, now there’s a thousand star destroyers with planet killing guns. But unlike the Death Stars, a few shots to the gun will explode it and bring the ship down as well. 

[crash_davis 23113]

in a span of 30-40 years, the force welders have become supermen even defeating death. the 1000 years before saw some of the greatest jedi and sith ever. but luke, leia, rey, and the emperor, they are fucking magical.

throughout the movie i was thinking, is this the same damn star wars universe? that aint any jedi force shit that i've ever seen before. i guess everything went to shit when leia flew in space.

[mulletpelini 5211]

I'm pretty sure we saw the life saving force before.  I'm convinced Luke was dying on Hoth when Han pulled up to him on the tauntaun.  Luke grabbed all the life force out of that fucker and saved himself, which is why it fell into a heap.  Luke had his hand out and everything all force like.

[hornfan785 556]

I'm pretty sure we saw the life saving force before.  I'm convinced Luke was dying on Hoth when Han pulled up to him on the tauntaun.  Luke grabbed all the life force out of that fucker and saved himself, which is why it fell into a heap.  Luke had his hand out and everything all force like.

The force healing isn't an issue for me. I always figured Luke was injured way more than what they really show in A New Hope when the sand people attack him, then Obi-Wan comes and heals him.

[David Dennison 18860]

Meh.

[michaelpshayes 417]

1 hour ago, crash_davis said:

in a span of 30-40 years, the force welders have become supermen even defeating death. the 1000 years before saw some of the greatest jedi and sith ever. but luke, leia, rey, and the emperor, they are fucking magical.

throughout the movie i was thinking, is this the same damn star wars universe? that aint any jedi force shit that i've ever seen before. i guess everything went to shit when leia flew in space.

yeah but in the novels ....lol 

[Michael Knight 12981]

Just watched it again and while Attack of the Clones remains a worse movie this is easily the dumbest Star Wars movie.

Edited December 22, 2019 by Michael Knight

[Michael Knight 12981]

Note:   Rose Died On The Way Back To Her Home Planet

[aggie08 21504]

3 hours ago, crash_davis said:

in a span of 30-40 years, the force welders have become supermen even defeating death. the 1000 years before saw some of the greatest jedi and sith ever. but luke, leia, rey, and the emperor, they are fucking magical.

throughout the movie i was thinking, is this the same damn star wars universe? that aint any jedi force shit that i've ever seen before. i guess everything went to shit when leia flew in space.

Don't worry, if Star Wars has taught me anything it's that, in 30 years, no one in the galaxy will remember a damn thing about the jedi.

[The People’s Elbow 707]

Did anyone see it in 3D and, if so, how was it? 

[Michael Knight 12981]

I will say the acting in this trilogy was way better than anything in the previous 6 movies, they deserved a better story.

[Trey3216 15346]

5 hours ago, The People’s Elbow said:

Did anyone see it in 3D and, if so, how was it? 

3D was pretty sweet.   But I was also slightly intoxicated 

[CooterBrown 18014]

Did anyone see it in 3D and, if so, how was it? 

They still make 3D movies? Seriously.

[SpiralOut 1813]

22 hours ago, BrickHorn said:

That was really weird.  The whole Palpatine’s-secret-lair-and-army-of-ghouls part was like something out of Lord of the Rings.  JJ turned the Emperor into a knockoff Sauron.  Although the final battle with Rey and Ren had a very Harry Potter feel to it.  Draining the life force from two junior wizards floating in the air just seems like something Voldemort would do, not Emperor Palpatine.  The whole thing felt out of place.

Not to mention the whole "face melt off from Indiana Jones" shit looked weird as fuck. 

[Levi 2586]

I don’t mind the new force abilities since it seems like we got a different one in each movie—except for Leia in TLJ, that was some bullshit. 

[tx 3 putt 76965]

When there’s only one Jedi using the force, there’s more force available to use 

[Surly Bevo 24918]

8 minutes ago, tx 3 putt said:

When there’s only one Jedi using the force, there’s more force available to use 

Fucking younglings hogging all the bandwidth.

[tx 3 putt 76965]

4 minutes ago, Surly Bevo said:

Fucking younglings hogging all the bandwidth.

Fucking A 

[The Dog 44056]

A few thoughts:

1. I don't mind Palpatine being back, but the execution was poor. Being hooked up to a bunch of machines in a far off place doesn't work for me or fit the lore - although he does mention that he's trying to get Rey to perform a ritual to turn her where he likely will have a lot of say in her actions.

2. I loved that Rey is related to Palpatine, but it wasn't set up well from TLJ and I'm saying that as someone who liked TLJ. Johnson's decision to try to say that she had no force lineage doesn't make sense when she is as powerful as she is. Being related to one of the most powerful sith ever fixes that. 

Anyway, there's some good payoffs from TLJ in this movie that I think people missed. I don't entirely agree with this take but it's a pretty good post on the topic: