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Late Night Santa thread

Laxtonto

By Laxtonto
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Laxtonto

Laxtonto 13013

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So the 4 year old woke back up as soon as we pulled into the driveway coming back from a 2 hour drive for Christmas services with grandma.

 

So pregnant wife and said 4 year old are now asleep and it’s time to assemble some shit with bad directions while drinking shiner and eating cookies that were left out for Santa...

 

This Shiner is for you, my late night Santa Surly brethren!

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troph

troph 25089

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Holy shit this thread saved me. My boys are older and we took a vacation instead of a large present haul but still presents wrapped and a stocking full of cool but not big ticket items. Candy, joke stuff, ear buds and a few other items like that. The Santa gig is way up but it’s still fun. Well, I laid down to fall asleep and made one more check on the phone and found y’all. Completely forgot to put the stockings out. Just finished, wow that was close.

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Laxtonto

Laxtonto 13013

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So would it be consider justifiable homicide to shoot that Doug fucker from Melissa and Doug fame for making shit that is annoying to put together?

Ill somewhat give that Melissa bitch a pass because it’s her nature, but god damn it Doug, you let all of us dads down you sorry sack of shit....

mullet.... beer me!

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cactusflinthead

cactusflinthead 27626

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1 hour ago, Laxtonto said:

So would it be consider justifiable homicide to shoot that Doug fucker from Melissa and Doug fame for making shit that is annoying to put together?

Ill somewhat give that Melissa bitch a pass because it’s her nature, but god damn it Doug, you let all of us dads down you sorry sack of shit....

mullet.... beer me!

I don't know either Doug or Melissa but they sound shitty

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mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5220

Posted
Posted (edited)
6 hours ago, Laxtonto said:

So would it be consider justifiable homicide to shoot that Doug fucker from Melissa and Doug fame for making shit that is annoying to put together?

Ill somewhat give that Melissa bitch a pass because it’s her nature, but god damn it Doug, you let all of us dads down you sorry sack of shit....

mullet.... beer me!

So I finished drinking in the lobby of the hotel I'm staying in and proceed to go to the room.  As I'm about to enter I'm hearing all kinds of noise from the next room.  Obviously, they're awake so no guilt in knocking on the door to tell them to quiet the fuck down.  Twentysomething chick answers the door with nothing but a robe that isn't even closed so I've got that image nicely imprinted on my brain now.  I said "Uhhh, how bout you guys.....(distracted by exposed tits and puss).....make as much noise as you want."  Passed out, just woke up from the fucking noise....and I do mean fucking noise.

Gotdamnit

Edited by mulletpelini
TLDR Santa came early but mullet didn't
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RollLeft

RollLeft 5088

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24 minutes ago, CooterBrown said:

Forgot to get stuff for the dog’s stocking. At our house, Santa brings stocking stuffers and one gift. To keep the illusion alive, I ran out near midnight and luckily Walgreens was open and had a good selection of dog treats.

Pics of your "dog"?

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Brothahorn

Brothahorn 10096

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1 hour ago, CooterBrown said:

Forgot to get stuff for the dog’s stocking. At our house, Santa brings stocking stuffers and one gift. To keep the illusion alive, I ran out near midnight and luckily Walgreens was open and had a good selection of dog treats.

I had an old freezer burned brisket that I cooking in the Ninja for them last night. They loved it.

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baboso

baboso 6101

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2 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

So I finished drinking in the lobby of the hotel I'm staying in and proceed to go to the room.  As I'm about to enter I'm hearing all kinds of noise from the next room.  Obviously, they're awake so no guilt in knocking on the door to tell them to quiet the fuck down.  Twentysomething chick answers the door with nothing but a robe that isn't even closed so I've got that image nicely imprinted on my brain now.  I said "Uhhh, how bout you guys.....(distracted by exposed tits and puss).....make as much noise as you want."  Passed out, just woke up from the fucking noise....and I do mean fucking noise.

Gotdamnit

Xmas jerkin' present.

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8963

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So I finished drinking in the lobby of the hotel I'm staying in and proceed to go to the room.  As I'm about to enter I'm hearing all kinds of noise from the next room.  Obviously, they're awake so no guilt in knocking on the door to tell them to quiet the fuck down.  Twentysomething chick answers the door with nothing but a robe that isn't even closed so I've got that image nicely imprinted on my brain now.  I said "Uhhh, how bout you guys.....(distracted by exposed tits and puss).....make as much noise as you want."  Passed out, just woke up from the fucking noise....and I do mean fucking noise.
Gotdamnit
Lol what podunk town/ hotel is this?
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Nivek

Nivek 17330

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3 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

So I finished drinking in the lobby of the hotel I'm staying in and proceed to go to the room.  As I'm about to enter I'm hearing all kinds of noise from the next room.  Obviously, they're awake so no guilt in knocking on the door to tell them to quiet the fuck down.  Twentysomething chick answers the door with nothing but a robe that isn't even closed so I've got that image nicely imprinted on my brain now.  I said "Uhhh, how bout you guys.....(distracted by exposed tits and puss).....make as much noise as you want."  Passed out, just woke up from the fucking noise....and I do mean fucking noise.

Gotdamnit

Missed Opportunities/ Hall&Oates

 

you really are Nebraska.  

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Bullneck

Bullneck 19454

Posted
Posted (edited)
11 hours ago, Laxtonto said:

So the 4 year old woke back up as soon as we pulled into the driveway coming back from a 2 hour drive for Christmas services with grandma.

 

So pregnant wife and said 4 year old are now asleep and it’s time to assemble some shit with bad directions while drinking shiner and eating cookies that were left out for Santa...

 

This Shiner is for you, my late night Santa Surly brethren!

I'm so glad those midnight assembly times are over.  Four or five years ago I had to put together a fucking adjustable, free standing basketball hoop.   

 

123539?$bjs-Zoom$

Edited by Bullneck
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Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 53332

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1 hour ago, Bullneck said:

I'm so glad those midnight assembly times are over.  Four or five years ago I had to put together a fucking adjustable, free standing basketball hoop.   

 

123539?$bjs-Zoom$

This was me one year ago. Imagine my relief when I unboxed the electric scooters last night and found it was 4 bolts each and plug them in. 

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G650

G650 14421

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42 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

This was me one year ago. Imagine my relief when I unboxed the electric scooters last night and found it was 4 bolts each and plug them in. 

I got my 3 1/2 year old a balance bike, and to my surprise it took zero tools to put together. Winning.

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CooterBrown

CooterBrown 18272

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I'm so glad those midnight assembly times are over.  Four or five years ago I had to put together a fucking adjustable, free standing basketball hoop.   
 
123539?%24bjs-Zoom%24

A few years ago I put together a trampoline on xmas eve. Started at 9 and finished and 1:30am. Luckily it was a warm year like this year.
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fattyflattie

fattyflattie 4640

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7 hours ago, CooterBrown said:


A few years ago I put together a trampoline on xmas eve. Started at 9 and finished and 1:30am. Luckily it was a warm year like this year.

That was my neighbor last night. Removed all their stuff to have a bad ass pool built this last year but kids bitched enough so they got another. 
 

13 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

Passed out, just woke up from the fucking noise....and I do mean fucking noise.

This is the *worst.

*if you don’t have anything to fuck on. 

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Hate

Hate 20232

Posted
Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, RPM said:
So what kinda loot did you guys score? I got a new upper for my AR, a nice bottle of Jefferson's Small Batch and some very crystal covered bud. I was a very good boy this year (and buying for myself).

 


You just triggered half of this board. The rest of us yelled "hell yes".

 

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CHIEF

CHIEF 5201

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Mine is almost 22 years old now. Savor and relish these days my friends. Staying up and putting shit together on Christmas Eve is only brief, but will probably be some of the best memories you will ever make. Dry humping Mrs. CHIEF while performing acrobatics to pull the springs and hooking a hobby horse to the frame and laughing hard enough to bring you to tears is a special moment. Believe it or not, I envy each and every one of you that are experiencing this right now.

CHIEF

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Armybrat

Armybrat 41321

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On 12/25/2019 at 1:13 AM, Laxtonto said:

So big complicated shit is assembled. Still got a ton of little shit to deal with. I think I’m at a point where the bourbon can come out assist in my assembly duties...

Hehheh..... forty years ago when I assembled my kids’ Big Wheels, the wheel clickers mysteriously got lost.

The boys were always kinda pissed their Big Wheels didn’t make all that loud noise like other kids’ when they zoomed around on our sidewalks. Peace.

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Kennythetiger

Kennythetiger 9584

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51 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

Hehheh..... forty years ago when I assembled my kids’ Big Wheels, the wheel clickers mysteriously got lost.

The boys were always kinda pissed their Big Wheels didn’t make all that loud noise like other kids’ when they zoomed around on our sidewalks. Peace.

I'm surprised the plastic wheels didn't pick up pebbles through really little cracks.  I think my dad pulled the same shit you did trying to silence the Big Wheels, but it seemed like ours always had rocks in the wheels.  Joke's on you, Pops!

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Yeah, last two years were a mini kitchen in '17 and then an elaborate dollhouse in '18.  This year was a proper pedal bike and it took me 1/5th the time than it took that other shit.  Plus having to secure them to the walls so she wouldn't pull them down, that added another half hour of stealth carpentry when you can't make a fucking peep at 1:00am.  But the bike was easy by comparison, me in the garage with several cocktails. 

I've realized after just a few Christmases......the best moment is now when they first see their "big" new gift...because you're subconsciously placing a lot of expectations onto that moment, and you're snapping photos for grandparents that aren't there, and you're hoping it's all perfect.  It's when they go back to the gift, later on Christmas, and engage it on their own.  And start to look around it, "check under the hood", really explore it, and start to see it was their own and you can't look too hard at them, you gotta hang back and just watch in awe from around the corner.  That's the cute part, that's what makes staying up all night building shit well worth it...and then some.  She didn't have much interest in the bike yesterday (even left it outside last evening), then she goes out to garage this morning and starts sitting on it to steer, figuring out the kick-stand, seeing if the seat adjustment I made felt right, etc.  Really cool.  I think many of us would have made fine Santas, well Bad Santas...'cause of all the drinking and cussing.

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Underdog

Underdog 29102

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On 12/25/2019 at 11:03 AM, Bullneck said:

I'm so glad those midnight assembly times are over.  Four or five years ago I had to put together a fucking adjustable, free standing basketball hoop.   

 

123539?$bjs-Zoom$

A fucking hero if you put that together in one night.  Jr bought me one as an xmas gift a couple of years ago and it took me 2 or 3 days to put it together, of course some of that was due to not all the parts were in the box, plus just being a lazy bastard. 

 

Years ago we(santa) bought jr a 12 billion piece logo train set that I had to put together Christmas eve, never been a big drinker but pretty sure I was hitting the cooking sherry after having been through what other booze may have been available.   Think we ended up selling it at a garage sale about a year or two later. 

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Homercles

Homercles 10206

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On 12/24/2019 at 11:13 PM, RPM said:

You're doing it wrong. Liquor should be involved.

This is the the third year in a row that I choose not to drink on Christmas Eve.  The waking up at 530am and immediately jumping into the monster combo of wild children, cleaning up wrapping paper mountains, dynamiting packages open, assembling toys, and dealing with intense excitement was too much on a hangover.  
 

Santa brought the kids a trampoline this year, assembled on the 23rd and left in a friends garage.  Getting it over the fence at 10pm Xmas eve was a lot easier sober that’s for sure.  

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