Dallas Cowboys 2020 Offseason Thread -- 25th Anniversary of Mediocrity

[MrBig 5414]

35 minutes ago, Radical Larry said:

Garrett's being reassigned to clean Jerry's glasses in the booth.

It’s either this or wiping Chris Christie’s ass when he’s in the box with Jerry. 

[Irish Wrist Watch 1373]

1 hour ago, miguelito said:

I would've guessed Garrett would go for 3 kids, but not 7.

I would've guessed 1.7 kids (below average)

[Iceman 2715]

I would have guessed he just had the clap all the time...

[Trey3216 15347]

33 minutes ago, Iceman said:

I would have guessed he just had the clap all the time...

I could see him in the room while his wife is delivering just clapping away 

[Radical Larry 28632]

 

[Radical Larry 28632]

Then we get this:

 

Edited January 3, 2020 by Radical Larry

[Surly Bevo 25007]

Jason Garrett allowing himself to get patronized like this shows just how big a fucking pussy he is.  

[taybo20 2870]

Fuck Jason Garrett...that bitch has millions of dollars. Just go. GTFO. 

[Pato del Muerto 52508]

They can’t hire Riley or any white dude until they interview Richard. So it can’t move that fast. 

[Get ln My Van 927]

[Hagbard Celine 10867]

2 hours ago, Beer Horn said:

IMO

JJ is waiting til Wash/NYG to hire before  pulling the trigger. Don’t know if he offers a front office job. He doesn’t  want to have to face him twice  a year and be proven possibly that JJ is the prob if JG is successful  

best new theory in 24 hours.

#1 root cause of the overall problem is skeletor delusion ego.

glove fits.

[Hagbard Celine 10867]

2 hours ago, MrBig said:

It’s either this or wiping Chris Christie’s ass when he’s in the box with Jerry. 

i've been thinking all day, the best job for clappy to stay in the family, would be luxury suite coordinator.

['stache 21818]

4 hours ago, Dr Fear said:

4 hours ago, Surly Bevo said:

Ginger doesn't have kids....

7 siblings and no kids? #RedFlag

He had no dick, of course he can’t have kids.

[Hagbard Celine 10867]

2 hours ago, Iceman said:

I would have guessed he just had the clap all the time...

well done.

[BigDHornfan 6549]

Make America’s team great again

[youdunnf'dup 2147]

2 hours ago, Beer Horn said:

IMO

JJ is waiting til Wash/NYG to hire before  pulling the trigger. Don’t know if he offers a front office job. He doesn’t  want to have to face him twice  a year and be proven possibly that JJ is the prob if JG is successful  

I saw this theory on the twitter handle black Adam shefter, and it was supposed to be a joke, but it actually kinda makes sense lol. Garrett going to the giants with a young nucleus and having success would be Jerry’s worst nightmare. I bet that’s why the giants wait to hire someone so they can at least get an interview with Garrett and compare him to their other candidates. There was a lot of smoke with Gettleman liking Garrett. 

[Beer Horn 93]

3 minutes ago, youdunnf'dup said:

I saw this theory on the twitter handle black Adam shefter, and it was supposed to be a joke, but it actually kinda makes sense lol. Garrett going to the giants with a young nucleus and having success would be Jerry’s worst nightmare. I bet that’s why the giants wait to hire someone so they can at least get an interview with Garrett and compare him to their other candidates. There was a lot of smoke with Gettleman liking Garrett. 

It’s like wanting to break up with your girlfriend. But not wanting anyone else to have her

[Underdog 28709]

It is done per Ed Werder!!  

[Gucci_Suit 2644]

Ed Werder reporting Jason is gone 

[Deej 76814]

Jerry just working a few extra bj's out of Ginger before he cut him loose.

[Nicole44 22060]

So I guess Jane Slater pissed in JJs Cheerios or something? Interesting. 

[USMCHorn 1369]

Jason's out. 

[Surly Bevo 25007]

Weird timing. Buried late on a Thursday night.

[youdunnf'dup 2147]

10 minutes ago, Beer Horn said:

It’s like wanting to break up with your girlfriend. But not wanting anyone else to have her

More like not wanting your ex girlfriend to date two of the people you hate more than anyone in the world when you’re still legitimately in love with her. Because Jerry is still in love with Garrett lol. He just knows it isn’t going to work. 

[SurlyBDR 22805]

[Sgt Hulk 13766]

It’s happening 

['stache 21818]

[Underdog 28709]

9 minutes ago, Nicole44 said:

So I guess Jane Slater pissed in JJs Cheerios or something? Interesting. 

Jerry always came across to me as a Fruit Loops kinda man. 

[Surly Bevo 25007]

Also be funny if just Ed Werder trying to move the story along.

[perfectchaos007 6671]

Now the healing process can begin

[Irish Wrist Watch 1373]

Dateline Dec 2020: The Cowboys season came to a disappointing end today with the on-field death of quarterback Lamar Jackson (brain-stem). Following last season's blockbuster trade with the Ravens that brought HC Greg Roman and Jackson to the Cowboys, the team was expected to go deep into the playoffs. Unfortunately, GM Jason Garrett's new silk turf experiment proved deadly, resulting in ligament damage to thirteen starters in addition....

 

 

Edited January 3, 2020 by Irish Wrist Watch

[Lat22 4014]

Lincoln Riley......COME ON DOWN!!!  You’re the next contestant.....

[Hagbard Celine 10867]

30 minutes ago, Nicole44 said:

So I guess Jane Slater pissed in JJs Cheerios or something? Interesting. 

Jane's rep around west campus was not bdsm or kink.

[TornACL 7698]

1 hour ago, Surly Bevo said:

Jason Garrett allowing himself to get patronized like this shows just how big a fucking pussy he is.  

JFC, this. 

[TornACL 7698]

23 minutes ago, Surly Bevo said:

Also be funny if just Ed Werder trying to move the story along.

That would be a genius move. 

[Hate 20108]

30 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Jerry always came across to me as a Fruit Loops kinda man. 

Don't you dare denigrate Fruit Loops that way.  

[Vic Mackey 47071]

...

[AUS-97HORN 11808]

not sure why it took 4 days. it was obvious he wasnt gonna be the coach anymore.

 

the problem is, who do you hire and can someone kidnap Jerry and lock him in a fucking room without internet or phone for a year so the team has a chance to suceed without him claiming credit for every positive and blaming everyone else anytime there is a negative. 

[BigVegasHorn26 630]

1 hour ago, Radical Larry said:

 

[squib 1120]

[Underdog 28709]

Dan Mullen?  JFC.  I get the Dak connection but come the fuck on.  

[C-Man 27230]

Dan Mullen?  JFC.  I get the Dak connection but come the fuck on.  

Yeah, Mullen doesn’t excite me at all.

[gsoda3 3262]

4 hours ago, miguelito said:

I would've guessed Garrett would go for 3 kids, but not 7.

he punted on having kids.

[michaelpshayes 417]

8 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Dan Mullen?  JFC.  I get the Dak connection but come the fuck on.  

I remember when Jerry offered the head coaching job to Terry Donahue because he was Aikman's coach in college .....so don't doubt anything that old hillbilly fucker will do 

[Pato del Muerto 52508]

I meant to throw mullin’s name out there early this week as a gag but forgot. Then I see his name mentioned legitimately. What an embarrassment that would be. 

[Underdog 28709]

I'd be tempted to give Chip Kelly a call before Dan Mullen.  

[CowtownHorn 5126]

3 minutes ago, Underdog said:

I'd be tempted to give Chip Kelly a call before Dan Mullen.  

[Js1 85372]

4 minutes ago, Underdog said:

I'd be tempted to give Chip Kelly a call before Dan Mullen.  

Enjoy Jim Harbaugh 

[youdunnf'dup 2147]

I do actually think Dan Mullen is a good coach, and I wanted him to coach Texas pretty bad when we were looking for a coach after strong. But yeah, no thanks. 

[Radical Larry 28632]