Shohei Ohtani

[kingkoopa6 8344]

19 hours ago, The Dog said:

 

 

[shadow_operative 15932]

lmao:

 

[Herpa Derpa 6123]

My pay grade is a little lower than Ohtani so I'm no expert on the workings of high level finance. But it would seem to me one can't just wire transfer $4.5 million without the banks verifying identity a few times during the process. So either we are to believe Ippie is the dumbest motherfucker on the planet who forged signatures and impersonated his golden goose to steal millions from his boss. Or, Ohtani is super secretive about his life because he's a degenerate lying scumbag with no qualms about throwing a brother/lover from another mother under the bus to save himself.

One of the two is a piece of shit human being. Wonder what the odds are on that bet?

[Vic Mackey 47006]

 

[Pam Cummings 9639]

Hard to believe that Ohtani would be stupid enough to be paying an illegal bookie for bets that he had been placing from an account that was easily traceable to him.

[NorthLoop 14180]

24 minutes ago, Pam Cummings said:

Hard to believe that Ohtani would be stupid enough to be paying an illegal bookie for bets that he had been placing from an account that was easily traceable to him.

Athletes are stupid. News at 11. 

[Dutchrudder 11133]

37 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:

 

Would be nice if he linked the public site where you can see all these bets, but I'm guessing his ass doesn't have a webpage.

[TxTower 650]

Yeah - the bets made are the smoking gun.

[dcar00 14147]

salaries for interpreters are movin' on up!

[Pam Cummings 9639]

43 minutes ago, NorthLoop said:

Athletes are stupid. News at 11. 

No dude. That's beyond stupid. It's wanting to be caught.

[Planet Houston 4930]

1 hour ago, Vic Mackey said:

 

Look, I think Ohtani is lying through his teeth. But this guy is saying there was a $10 million bet on a +2500 parlay - so the winner grossed $250 million?!? No fucking way. 

[Pam Cummings 9639]

I'm not believing shit from some random Twitter account claiming to know the inner workings about some bookie in Japan. Get real. You're a dope if you think any of that is true.

Edited March 26 by Pam Cummings

[Planet Houston 4930]

21 minutes ago, Pam Cummings said:

I'm not believing shit from some random Twitter account claiming to know the inner workings about some bookie in Japan. Get real. You're a dope if you think any of that is true.

Exactly. 

But also, Shohei is FULL OF SHIT. 

It would be amazing if his ultra-private personal life is because he’s just a horrible guy.

You know, a Kaiser Shohei. 

Edited March 26 by Planet Houston

[Beau Vine 54203]

Rando Twitter guy does make a strong case here:

 

Edited March 26 by Beau Vine
I guess he retweeted it

[closetojumping 62510]

1 hour ago, Herpa Derpa said:

My pay grade is a little lower than Ohtani so I'm no expert on the workings of high level finance. But it would seem to me one can't just wire transfer $4.5 million without the banks verifying identity a few times during the process. So either we are to believe Ippie is the dumbest motherfucker on the planet who forged signatures and impersonated his golden goose to steal millions from his boss. Or, Ohtani is super secretive about his life because he's a degenerate lying scumbag with no qualms about throwing a brother/lover from another mother under the bus to save himself.

One of the two is a piece of shit human being. Wonder what the odds are on that bet?

The banks don’t handhold that stuff. Billions are moved around in wires everyday. You need your login credentials and a token code to match the dynamic authentication code and you’re good. 

[Dnaguy 11915]

3 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

Rando Twitter guy does make a strong case here:

 

 

No jury can deny this fact.

If the machete slits, you must convict.

 

[UTexasFight 9427]

4 hours ago, closetojumping said:

The banks don’t handhold that stuff. Billions are moved around in wires everyday. You need your login credentials and a token code to match the dynamic authentication code and you’re good. 

Depends.

it’s possible, but they also flag suspicious wires all the time that require additional (verbal) confirmation over the phone to the number on record.

Worst case, Shohei is lying through is teeth and it’s going to be the biggest sports scandal of the year/decade.

best case, he’s an absolute moron for giving his translator access to his account(s) including allowing him to set up multi-factor/backup authentication with absolutely no oversight.

 

[Pam Cummings 9639]

 

 

possible explanation for the interpreter having the bank info.

 

[Blotto 23485]

20 hours ago, Pam Cummings said:

Hard to believe that Ohtani would be stupid enough to be paying an illegal bookie for bets that he had been placing from an account that was easily traceable to him.

Phil Mickelson was a pretty big name in the golfing world, and I remember correctly he tried to use an intermediary to pay of $2-3M owed to an offshore book. But the transfer from Phil to the intermediary was flagged and it didnt take long to tie Phils transfer to a subsequent transfer from the intermediary to the offshore book.  Its not easy to move millions owed for gambling purposes and nothing mandates that pro athletes be smart. 

[Pam Cummings 9639]

37 minutes ago, Blotto said:

Phil Mickelson was a pretty big name in the golfing world, and I remember correctly he tried to use an intermediary to pay of $2-3M owed to an offshore book. But the transfer from Phil to the intermediary was flagged and it didnt take long to tie Phils transfer to a subsequent transfer from the intermediary to the offshore book.  Its not easy to move millions owed for gambling purposes and nothing mandates that pro athletes be smart. 

Phil's an absolute moron and even he tried to use an intermediary like you said. And he should have gone to prison with his buddy on the insider trading scandal.

 

To use an account directly tied to your name in order to do illegal things when you are a worldwide star and one of the most recognizable names on the planet? It's not like his last name is Smith or Jones or something. I just don't buy anyone being THAT stupid.

Edited March 27 by Pam Cummings

[tx 3 putt 76862]

Hmmmm

 

[Smax 3800]

 

 😂

[Dnaguy 11915]

16 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

Hmmmm

 

 

[checks notes]

Harvey Weinstein's in jail.....

Alec Baldwin was re-indicted...

Hillary Clinton didn't win the presidency....

Danny Masterson in jail....

Armie Hammer is toxic and black listed...

Prince Andrew stripped of all duties.....

[stops checking notes]

Maybe these guys aren't really that good at their jobs.......

Edited March 28 by Dnaguy

[Sbbruin 21827]

Interesting article by Bill Plaschke in the Times.  I sort of feel like he does.  Something just feels off.

Spoiler

Column: Do you still believe in Shohei Ohtani? I’m not sure

 

It still doesn’t feel right.

It still doesn’t make sense.

No matter how much Shohei Ohtani and his advisors attempt to clean it up, something in all this gambling garbage still stinks.

When a smiling Ohtani strides on to the Dodger Stadium field for their home opener Thursday, I want to believe.

 

I want to believe the game’s greatest player is as pure as his image.

I want to believe the beloved global superstar is as honorable as he seems.

I want to believe the legendary Ohtani magic, for which the Dodgers just paid $700 million, is real.

But I just can’t. Not completely. Not yet. Maybe one day, but not now.

The gambling controversy that has engulfed Ohtani in the past week has taken too many weird twists and wrong turns for me to feel completely confident in its ultimate destination.

This could be nothing. This could be everything. So much is still unknown. So much is still so confusing. Leak by agonizing leak, the uncertainty chips away at the aura of an icon who was once thought to be untouchable.

 

The doubt is ugly. The disbelief is unsettling. I don’t feel great about writing this. I’m guessing many Dodgers fans aren’t feeling so great about living it.

Does Shohei Ohtani have a gambling problem, or a money management problem, or neither, or both?

Is Shohei Ohtani devious enough to throw his closest colleague under the bus to save himself, or was he simply naive enough to allow that colleague to fleece him for millions?

Ohtani has spoken, but has taken no questions.

The season has started, but this isn’t ending.

There remains a cloud over Ohtani’s previously pristine presence, and as much as everyone wants to believe otherwise, it’s not dissipating anytime soon.

The storm hit last week when Ohtani’s name was linked to a federal investigation into illegal sports gambling. The Times reported his name appeared on nine wire transfers of $500,000 each, with the money allegedly going to suspected Orange County bookmaker Mathew Bowyer.

In an interview with ESPN that was arranged by an Ohtani spokesman, Ohtani’s longtime translator Ippei Mizuhara said that Ohtani sent the money to cover Mizuhara’s gambling debts. The spokesman even gave ESPN a quote from Ohtani in which he said he knew about the payments.

The story was repeated by Mizuhara and club executives to the entire Dodger team during a meeting in the Dodgers’ clubhouse in Seoul after their opening night win over the San Diego Padres.

Early the next morning, however, Ohtani’s representatives completely changed course, claiming that Ohtani was unaware of the transfers and accusing Mizuhara of a “massive theft.”

Mizuhara was promptly fired by the Dodgers, and, at a Monday afternoon news conference during which he did not take questions, Ohtani repeated the claim that he was fleeced.

“He was stealing money from my bank account…he was lying to everyone,” Ohtani said in Japanese, later adding, “I of course have never had anything to do with sports betting and I absolutely have never sent money to a bookmaker. Honestly, I don’t think shock is the right word. I’ve spent the last week in something beyond that, which I can’t express in words. It’s hard to put that into words right now.”

I can put it into several words.

I am queasy with the notion that Mizuhara could mastermind a heist of at least $4.5 million without Ohtani or his accountants or his bankers or somebody noticing the money was missing.

I am skeptical at the idea that any bookie would extend $4.5 million in credit to an ordinary gambler, and then collect that money without confirming its source to ensure that the money was not being stolen.

Above all, I am incredulous at the notion Mizuhara could give a completely plausible Ohtani-approved explanation of the payments in one interview, then, seemingly hours later, be called a liar and accused of theft by the same Ohtani representatives.

It doesn’t add up. Furthermore, it’s amazing that Ohtani’s crisis management teams — some of the same people who represented the likes of Harvey Weinstein and Danny Masterson — would not have realized it doesn’t add up.

By the way, why does Ohtani still employ agent Nez Balelo? If Ohtani truly felt he had been robbed by his interpreter and was truly unaware of the missing money, he should have already fired the guy who is paid to protect him, no? Hmmm.

Somebody is lying somewhere. Somebody is hiding something. I don’t know who is doing what, and I’m surely not alone.

Although sports gambling is still illegal in California, it’s one of only 12 states where it’s still a crime and that doesn’t seem to be the biggest issue here.

The biggest concern is that a player who is essentially a minority owner of the Dodgers has been linked to payments to an illegal bookmaking operation totaling at least $4.5 million amid swirls of changing narratives and conflicting stories.

When your name is associated with that much cloaked money in that sort of rutted environment, what else is involved? How many different nasty elements can seep through the cracks and engulf you in your recklessness? If your highest paid player is that careless with $4.5 million, how much can you trust him to be the caretaker of your 4 million fans?

It’s interesting that when Major League Baseball last week announced its investigation into the matter, it cited, “allegations involving Shohei Ohtani and Ippei Mizuhara.”

Read that again. The statement didn’t just mention Mizuhara. It cited both of them.

Neither man has been charged with a crime. Ohtani has not been accused of placing any bets, on baseball or otherwise, and in his prepared statement he said he has, “never bet on anything or bet for anyone on a sporting event or asked someone to bet for me.”

Yet Mizuhara is ruined, and Ohtani is tainted, and it could be months before the truth finally emerges.

There are no winners here. There is only a loss of innocence, a summer of purgatory and the sad cynicism surrounding a man previously known in Japan as, kanpeki na hito.

“The perfect person.”

Maybe one day, but not now.

 

Edited March 28 by Sbbruin

[UTexasFight 9427]

22 minutes ago, Sbbruin said:

Interesting article by Bill Plaschke in the Times.  I sort of feel like he does.  Something just feels off.

  Hide contents

Column: Do you still believe in Shohei Ohtani? I’m not sure

 

It still doesn’t feel right.

It still doesn’t make sense.

No matter how much Shohei Ohtani and his advisors attempt to clean it up, something in all this gambling garbage still stinks.

When a smiling Ohtani strides on to the Dodger Stadium field for their home opener Thursday, I want to believe.

 

I want to believe the game’s greatest player is as pure as his image.

I want to believe the beloved global superstar is as honorable as he seems.

I want to believe the legendary Ohtani magic, for which the Dodgers just paid $700 million, is real.

But I just can’t. Not completely. Not yet. Maybe one day, but not now.

The gambling controversy that has engulfed Ohtani in the past week has taken too many weird twists and wrong turns for me to feel completely confident in its ultimate destination.

This could be nothing. This could be everything. So much is still unknown. So much is still so confusing. Leak by agonizing leak, the uncertainty chips away at the aura of an icon who was once thought to be untouchable.

 

The doubt is ugly. The disbelief is unsettling. I don’t feel great about writing this. I’m guessing many Dodgers fans aren’t feeling so great about living it.

Does Shohei Ohtani have a gambling problem, or a money management problem, or neither, or both?

Is Shohei Ohtani devious enough to throw his closest colleague under the bus to save himself, or was he simply naive enough to allow that colleague to fleece him for millions?

Ohtani has spoken, but has taken no questions.

The season has started, but this isn’t ending.

There remains a cloud over Ohtani’s previously pristine presence, and as much as everyone wants to believe otherwise, it’s not dissipating anytime soon.

The storm hit last week when Ohtani’s name was linked to a federal investigation into illegal sports gambling. The Times reported his name appeared on nine wire transfers of $500,000 each, with the money allegedly going to suspected Orange County bookmaker Mathew Bowyer.

In an interview with ESPN that was arranged by an Ohtani spokesman, Ohtani’s longtime translator Ippei Mizuhara said that Ohtani sent the money to cover Mizuhara’s gambling debts. The spokesman even gave ESPN a quote from Ohtani in which he said he knew about the payments.

The story was repeated by Mizuhara and club executives to the entire Dodger team during a meeting in the Dodgers’ clubhouse in Seoul after their opening night win over the San Diego Padres.

Early the next morning, however, Ohtani’s representatives completely changed course, claiming that Ohtani was unaware of the transfers and accusing Mizuhara of a “massive theft.”

Mizuhara was promptly fired by the Dodgers, and, at a Monday afternoon news conference during which he did not take questions, Ohtani repeated the claim that he was fleeced.

“He was stealing money from my bank account…he was lying to everyone,” Ohtani said in Japanese, later adding, “I of course have never had anything to do with sports betting and I absolutely have never sent money to a bookmaker. Honestly, I don’t think shock is the right word. I’ve spent the last week in something beyond that, which I can’t express in words. It’s hard to put that into words right now.”

I can put it into several words.

I am queasy with the notion that Mizuhara could mastermind a heist of at least $4.5 million without Ohtani or his accountants or his bankers or somebody noticing the money was missing.

I am skeptical at the idea that any bookie would extend $4.5 million in credit to an ordinary gambler, and then collect that money without confirming its source to ensure that the money was not being stolen.

Above all, I am incredulous at the notion Mizuhara could give a completely plausible Ohtani-approved explanation of the payments in one interview, then, seemingly hours later, be called a liar and accused of theft by the same Ohtani representatives.

It doesn’t add up. Furthermore, it’s amazing that Ohtani’s crisis management teams — some of the same people who represented the likes of Harvey Weinstein and Danny Masterson — would not have realized it doesn’t add up.

By the way, why does Ohtani still employ agent Nez Balelo? If Ohtani truly felt he had been robbed by his interpreter and was truly unaware of the missing money, he should have already fired the guy who is paid to protect him, no? Hmmm.

Somebody is lying somewhere. Somebody is hiding something. I don’t know who is doing what, and I’m surely not alone.

Although sports gambling is still illegal in California, it’s one of only 12 states where it’s still a crime and that doesn’t seem to be the biggest issue here.

The biggest concern is that a player who is essentially a minority owner of the Dodgers has been linked to payments to an illegal bookmaking operation totaling at least $4.5 million amid swirls of changing narratives and conflicting stories.

When your name is associated with that much cloaked money in that sort of rutted environment, what else is involved? How many different nasty elements can seep through the cracks and engulf you in your recklessness? If your highest paid player is that careless with $4.5 million, how much can you trust him to be the caretaker of your 4 million fans?

It’s interesting that when Major League Baseball last week announced its investigation into the matter, it cited, “allegations involving Shohei Ohtani and Ippei Mizuhara.”

Read that again. The statement didn’t just mention Mizuhara. It cited both of them.

Neither man has been charged with a crime. Ohtani has not been accused of placing any bets, on baseball or otherwise, and in his prepared statement he said he has, “never bet on anything or bet for anyone on a sporting event or asked someone to bet for me.”

Yet Mizuhara is ruined, and Ohtani is tainted, and it could be months before the truth finally emerges.

There are no winners here. There is only a loss of innocence, a summer of purgatory and the sad cynicism surrounding a man previously known in Japan as, kanpeki na hito.

“The perfect person.”

Maybe one day, but not now.

 

You, Bill and every other Dodger fan will believe as soon as he hits his first HR, or otherwise does something else that hasn’t been done since Tungsten Arm O’Doyle

…trust me. I’m an Astros fan. Flags fly forever.

[Sbbruin 21827]

1 hour ago, UTexasFight said:

You, Bill and every other Dodger fan will believe as soon as he hits his first HR, or otherwise does something else that hasn’t been done since Tungsten Arm O’Doyle

…trust me. I’m an Astros fan. Flags fly forever.

I'm not passing sentence one way or the other right now.  Just a lot of questions.  Trevor Bauer got tried in the court of public opinion and was found guilty, despite the fact that he very well may have been more of the victim in his case, despite what people may think of him personally.  

[Dnaguy 11915]

31 minutes ago, Sbbruin said:

I'm not passing sentence one way or the other right now.  Just a lot of questions.  Trevor Bauer got tried in the court of public opinion and was found guilty, despite the fact that he very well may have been more of the victim in his case, despite what people may think of him personally.  

It is amazing that insufferable assholes are not extended the same latitude as a generational talent not seen in a hundred years or so.

Oh wait….

[shadow_operative 15932]

 

[TxTower 650]

Phil's an absolute moron and even he tried to use an intermediary like you said. And he should have gone to prison with his buddy on the insider trading scandal.
 
To use an account directly tied to your name in order to do illegal things when you are a worldwide star and one of the most recognizable names on the planet? It's not like his last name is Smith or Jones or something. I just don't buy anyone being THAT stupid.

Hey Pam. You’re that stupid. You can STFU now.

[Pam Cummings 9639]

4 hours ago, TxTower said:

Hey Pam. You’re that stupid. You can STFU now.

Bumping a thread that's been inactive for 2 weeks to tell someone to shut up is the definition of being stupid.

Edited April 7 by Pam Cummings

[Gil Bang 25907]

rumors are flying that Ippei is negotiating a plea deal...that he was able to turn off notifications so Shoehei wouldn't see the wire transfers from his account.  

[Gil Bang 25907]

From a widely-respected writer

 

[Vic Mackey 47006]

Was never going to play out any other way. Still seems fishy as fuck , especially from the bookie perspective. No bookie is allowing an interpreter to float that kind of debt if he didn't know a guy like Ohtani wasn't backing it. But the MLB isn't going to allow him to take the fall for this, especially after that massive contract and they are pushing him as the face of baseball.

As Cris Carter said, you need to have a fall guy when you are in this position and Ohtani definitely had his. I'm sure he will take care of him.

[Gil Bang 25907]

 

 

[Sbbruin 21827]

15 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

From a widely-respected writer

 

And let us never speak of it again.  It's time for Dodger baseball!

[closetohumping 17432]

So not guilty?

[Blotto 23485]

2 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

 

 

So if he  only stole $16M from Ohtani, does that leave another $24M unaccounted for? This could likely just be shitty reporting, but you would think they would want to provide some type of explanation for how the interpreter was able to lose so much.

https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/39920849/ohtani-interpreter-ippei-mizuhara-stole-16m

Quote

Text messages showed that Mizuhara began gambling with a bookmaker in September 2021 and began losing "substantial sums of money" later that year. In all, the complaint states, Mizuhara averaged 25 bets per day, ranging from $10 to $160,000 per bet, between December 2021 and this January -- some 19,000 bets in all. Mizuhara's betting records, according to a spreadsheet obtained by authorities, reflected total winnings of $142 million and total losses of $183 million during this span, "leaving a total net balance of negative $40,678,436."

 

[Dutchrudder 11133]

He probably didn't pay off all the debt, as he was only able to steal so much at a time. 

[Blotto 23485]

1 minute ago, Dutchrudder said:

He probably didn't pay off all the debt, as he was only able to steal so much at a time. 

He must have the dumbest bookie alive to extend that type of credit to an interpreter

[n64ra 1080]

Still find it hard to believe that Ohtani's accountant didn't notice almost $8M a year missing in '22 and '23.

Edited April 11 by n64ra

[Gatorubet 30183]

On 3/26/2024 at 4:30 PM, NorthLoop said:

Athletes are stupid. News at 11. 

[ballrific 215]

Quote

"I'm terrible at this sport betting thing huh? Lol . . . Any chance u can bump me again?? As you know, you don't have to worry about me not paying!!"

 

Quote

 The bookmaker replied, "Yes, but that's all bulls---. Obviously you didn't steal from him. I understand it's a cover job I totally get it."

Mizuhara replied, "Technically I did steal from him. It's all over for me."

 

[Beau Vine 54203]

45 minutes ago, Blotto said:

He must have the dumbest bookie alive to extend that type of credit to an interpreter

Bookie thought Ohtani was making the bets:

Quote

On March 20, 2024, after news broke that at least $4.5 million was transmitted from Ohtani's account to Bowyer's operation, Mizuhara texted the bookmaker asking if he'd seen the media reports. The bookmaker replied, "Yes, but that's all bulls---. Obviously you didn't steal from him. I understand it's a cover job I totally get it."

 

[tokamak 6391]

1 hour ago, Blotto said:

So if he  only stole $16M from Ohtani, does that leave another $24M unaccounted for? This could likely just be shitty reporting, but you would think they would want to provide some type of explanation for how the interpreter was able to lose so much.

https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/39920849/ohtani-interpreter-ippei-mizuhara-stole-16m

 

I'm amused by the guy making bets down to $10. "I know I'm in the hole for $40m, but this $10 parlay on WNBA action tonight might just get me back on my feet!"

Anyway, if Ippei is really a fall guy, he's Cosa Nostra-level rock solid. I assume he's gonna do real time given the amounts of money involved. Shocked that he's not singing like a canary.

[cmontexas 3270]

One of the first things I remember learning as a kid was that Shoeless Joe Jackson and the Black Sox committed the biggest sin imaginable, and that even though Shoeless Joe was one of the greatest ever, and had cast doubt on the extent of his involvement with the gambling; the sin of gambling on baseball was so severe to warrant his banishment from the game forever.

Maybe they don't have Field of Dreams in Japan

[Beau Vine 54203]

14 minutes ago, cmontexas said:

One of the first things I remember learning as a kid was that Shoeless Joe Jackson and the Black Sox committed the biggest sin imaginable, and that even though Shoeless Joe was one of the greatest ever, and had cast doubt on the extent of his involvement with the gambling; the sin of gambling on baseball was so severe to warrant his banishment from the game forever.

Maybe they don't have Field of Dreams in Japan

Japan has had their own Black Sox scandal: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Mist_Scandal_(Japanese_baseball)

[closetohumping 17432]

Dodgers paid off the feds 

[Gil Bang 25907]

Shohei dinger.  He's got focusness. 

[Chopper 17228]

On 4/11/2024 at 4:05 PM, tokamak said:

I'm amused by the guy making bets down to $10. "I know I'm in the hole for $40m, but this $10 parlay on WNBA action tonight might just get me back on my feet!"

Anyway, if Ippei is really a fall guy, he's Cosa Nostra-level rock solid. I assume he's gonna do real time given the amounts of money involved. Shocked that he's not singing like a canary.

Per the charges against Ippei Mizuhara and all the documented info it contains, there's nothing for him to sing about.

The government has recorded phone calls from the bank with audio of Mizuhara posing as Ohtani.

The government has a list of all bets Mizuhara placed and none were on baseball.

The government has years of texts (criminal charge says almost 10,000 pages of texts) between Mizuhara and Ohtani, and there's no discussion between them about this entire drama, nor that Ohtani knew anything about Ippei's betting or debts.

Ohtani told the government’s investigators that he thought all his support staff had access to all of his accounts. The problem was that his support staff (his agent, his financial manager, etc.) did not and do not speak Japanese and their only point of contact was Mizuhara. Incredible that they didn't have their own interpreters.

Ohtani cooperated with the federal investigation including voluntarily providing his cell phone for a full forensic investigation, and is considered a victim of fraud.

https://www.justice.gov/usao-cdca/pr/japanese-language-translator-charged-complaint-illegally-transferring-more-16-million

 

[PilotsError 2286]

Lol sure. Then if that’s true he’s the stupidest athlete ever.  To the point he shouldn’t be trusted to even dress himself.