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Donald Trump 2020

Francisco 2.0

By Francisco 2.0
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Chooky

Chooky 13,321

Posted
Posted
16 minutes ago, BrickHorn said:

Biden might be the Dems’ W, but I’ll take it.  It’s early morning in America.  As in 1:59 AM at the Dirty 6th shots bar.  This is no time to be picky.    

 

13 minutes ago, Dnaguy said:

Joe Biden:

America’s Presidential slump buster.

Staff:  Joe, we know you can't jump over a Volkswagen.

Joe:  What's your point?

Staff:  My point is that I think it's a bad idea that you've scheduled a televised event where you're gonna attempt to jump over a Volkswagen.

Joe:  You might be on to something.  It should be an American car.  Let's do a Ford Taurus.

Staff:  They'll love ya for trying, Joe.  It's a great idea.

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Thatguy
Thatguy

Let me be candid and honest here my man. I cannot be sympathetic to your comments because this is how adult life has always been. From the moment I stepped out of my home and headed off to college I h

Francisco 2.0
Francisco 2.0
henrygandorf
henrygandorf

it won't matter if his taxes ever come out.  it won't matter if his taxes don't ever come out.  you wanna know why?  because we already know what's in them. since early 2017 when people starting

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Biff Tannen

Biff Tannen 45,751

Posted
Posted
23 minutes ago, henrygandorf said:

i think mitch and company will forget who donald trump is the minute he stops being president.

"i might've taken a picture with this trump guy, but i don't really know him.  i take pictures with a lot of people."

That's why it is our job to NEVER FORGET.  Step 2 is getting rid of the Rs.  This war doesn't end if we get the dotard out.  It would be nice to take them all out in one fell swoop, but that's unlikely.  They have the dotard albatross FOREVER.  And it is up to us to punish them.

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BrickHorn

BrickHorn 18,298

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19 minutes ago, Chooky said:

 

Staff:  Joe, we know you can't jump over a Volkswagen.

Joe:  What's your point?

Staff:  My point is that I think it's a bad idea that you've scheduled a televised event where you're gonna attempt to jump over a Volkswagen.

Joe:  You might be on to something.  It should be an American car.  Let's do a Ford Taurus.

Staff:  They'll love ya for trying, Joe.  It's a great idea.

6af9040514f84bcccd232ac2e79cdd22--childh

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Chad Fuck

Chad Fuck 17,827

Posted
Posted
20 minutes ago, Chooky said:

 

Staff:  Joe, we know you can't jump over a Volkswagen.

Joe:  What's your point?

Staff:  My point is that I think it's a bad idea that you've scheduled a televised event where you're gonna attempt to jump over a Volkswagen.

Joe:  You might be on to something.  It should be an American car.  Let's do a Ford Taurus.

Staff:  They'll love ya for trying, Joe.  It's a great idea.

 

1443727312-knievel.gif?crop=1xw:1.0xh;ce

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BrickHorn

BrickHorn 18,298

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3 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

I believe at one time, when Biden was less relevant to my interests, I thought that was real.  Obviously I didn't look at it real hard.

The Onion’s Biden shtick was amazing. 

”Advising the 1,500 new graduates to “check out this shit,” Vice President Joe Biden reportedly lost control of his rapidly twirling butterfly knife Saturday while delivering the commencement speech at the University of South Carolina.”

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Bateshorn

Bateshorn 9,942

Posted
Posted (edited)
26 minutes ago, BrickHorn said:

The Onion’s Biden shtick was amazing. 

”Advising the 1,500 new graduates to “check out this shit,” Vice President Joe Biden reportedly lost control of his rapidly twirling butterfly knife Saturday while delivering the commencement speech at the University of South Carolina.”

The Mexico one is a work of art.

Quote

According to aides, Biden has reached out to President Obama and asked him to explain his sudden disappearance to his wife, Jill.

"Come on, Barry, you know how to talk to her," Biden was overheard saying into a payphone outside a local taqueria. "Jilly knew what she was getting into the day she married me, but brother, I don't think flowers are gonna cut it this time."

On Tuesday, the Senate received a postcard of topless women wearing green, red, and white bikini bottoms from Biden. A personal message apologized for his extended absence and provided contact information and instructions to call his buddy Blaze if they needed a tiebreaking vote.

 

Edited by Bateshorn
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Hiphopopotamos

Hiphopopotamos 20,889

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2 minutes ago, Bateshorn said:

The Mexico one is a work of art.

"

JUÁREZ, MEXICO—In an effort to let the heat die down a little, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly skipped town Saturday, telling White House officials that he was going to be lying low in Mexico for a spell.

"I need to steer clear of D.C. until some shit blows over," said Biden, sitting in the far corner of a Mexican cantina with his back to the wall and taking a long swig from a bottle of Tecate Light. "It's nothing I can't handle, but let's just say there was a little misunderstanding. Somebody didn't get something they were supposed to get."

https://politics.theonion.com/biden-to-cool-his-heels-in-mexico-for-a-while-1819571718

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Bateshorn

Bateshorn 9,942

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The one where he wakes in a morgue is also pretty solid. 

Quote

“Sure as shit isn’t my first rodeo in the meat locker,” said Biden, who reportedly grabbed a forceps from a nearby surgical table and attempted to jimmy open a locked exit door. “Just gotta get a handle on some stuff before I wake up in a pine condo. Plenty of juice left in this ticker.”

“Diamond Joe’s not going to the boneyard without a fight,” added Biden.

 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Posted

I had forgotten about so many of these.  When he orders the grow light to the White House under an alias and forges Obama’s signature to make December, Dokken month.  Holy shit.  I am crying In my car right now.  

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Mrs Whiggins

Mrs Whiggins 13,050

Posted
Posted
20 minutes ago, BrickHorn said:

That Mexico one is probably my favorite. So vaguely seedy.  And I love that his friends outside the office are all clearly sketchy biker dudes.  Blaze, Worm, etc.

After watching Jill Biden take out that protester, I would say she could handle herself pretty well, too.

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seven

seven 1,368

Posted
Posted
58 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

I believe at one time, when Biden was less relevant to my interests, I thought that was real.  Obviously I didn't look at it real hard.

How do you look at it without getting real hard? 

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Dnaguy

Dnaguy 12,178

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Posted
38 minutes ago, Bateshorn said:

The one where he wakes in a morgue is also pretty solid. 

 

“Sure as shit isn’t my first rodeo in the meat locker,” said Biden, who reportedly grabbed a forceps from a nearby surgical table and attempted to jimmy open a locked exit door. “Just gotta get a handle on some stuff before I wake up in a pine condo. Plenty of juice left in this ticker.”

“Diamond Joe’s not going to the boneyard without a fight,” added Biden.

If Biden knew what’s good for him, he should counter the whole ‘Sleepy Joe”’ nickname thing with ‘Diamond Joe’... and start referring to himself in the third person.

Hell, his whole campaign slogan should be:

“Diamond Joe’s not going to the boneyard without a fight.”

-Biden 2020

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Biff Tannen said:

That was the R plan.  The dotard has no plan, he's a squirrel.

The squirrels, eh?  Well, we have no deal with them!  /Pelosi 

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RPM

RPM 26,374

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, jimmyjazz said:

Well, a day or so ago Trump was blaming Obama for the state of the military that was deeded over, and blamed it for the exploding deficit.  Problem, the actual budget doesn't show that.

Gaslight much, asshole?

Who are you going to believe, what some people are saying is the greatest President in the history of the United States or your fucking lying eyes?

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Gil Bang

Gil Bang 26,068

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Posted
1 minute ago, RPM said:

I thought these were the points.

ivanka-trump-unga.jpg?w=656

If you can pry your eyes away from the nips, what the fucking fuck is that thing on her skirt?  It it supposed to be a rose?  IT looks like a fish jumping out of the water to take a fly.

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