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Shart 2020: Hindsight's a bitch

Prepuce of Doom

By Prepuce of Doom
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Sandman

Sandman 3403

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Spent a week in the hospital with a bowel obstruction. I was finally able to get some sleep on about day 3 but I was awoken by a fart that had a little something extra. Had to call my wife to deliver some back-up underwear. And I thought I would make it through the year unscathed....

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21079

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Cross posted from the Classic Cars thread, but in cleaning out the trunk of the 1971 Buick Skylark I inherited, I came across what I suspect was my dad's emergency Shart Kit. A duffel bag containing a nearly full set of clothes and some asswipes. 

I say "nearly full" because it had no underwear, and only one sock in the kit. 

Perhaps he had used it and forgot to reload?

20201017_140059.jpg

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Johnny Chimpo

Johnny Chimpo 478

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21 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Cross posted from the Classic Cars thread, but in cleaning out the trunk of the 1971 Buick Skylark I inherited, I came across what I suspect was my dad's emergency Shart Kit. A duffel bag containing a nearly full set of clothes and some asswipes. 

I say "nearly full" because it had no underwear, and only one sock in the kit. 

Perhaps he had used it and forgot to reload?

20201017_140059.jpg

Nothing classier than a Forbes bag for the emergency turd cleanup kit 

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BearCountry11

BearCountry11 1234

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As 2020 comes to an end I found myself in a situation today that I felt was worth mentioning here.  
 

For context:  I’ve been looking to hire on some sales directors at my company.  This is an individual contributed role despite the director title and part of my interview process is a mock sales pitch.  I send the finalists a template and prompt that they put together and deliver to me and the team.  Basically we want to see them put in some effort and sell to us - not just read.  I say this because these candidates usually put in time practicing and rehearsing - so not the type of interview we want to reschedule at the last second.  Total dick move if that happens.  This interview lasts 45 min - 60 min.  
 

Today, I had a guy going through the interview.  My wife and I had come down with a cold over the weekend so I was already approaching every sneeze with caution going into today.  Well - we got this interview kicked off and about 5 min into meeting I realize I’m going to need to run to the bathroom once we finish.  The candidate then asks me a series of questions as a potential customer - RIGHT as I answer I cough.  Not a big cough, but enough.  I shit my pants.  Sharted.  The kind where your pants immediately feel wet.  And we still have 45 min to go in this interview.  My facial expression evidently told the candidate that something was wrong with my cough because he said “I’d offer you a glass of water if I could”.   
 

I manned up - did my best to answer any questions but that was the worst 45 min of my life.  Finished the interview, cancelled my next meeting, and threw out my underwear/pants.  There’s no saving them and tomorrow is trash day.  The office chair might need to go too.  Happy Monday.   

As a side note the individual I interviewed got his undergrad at Texas.....would be funny as hell if they are in here.  
 

 

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Longhornstampede

Longhornstampede 3184

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6 hours ago, workswithseed said:

Welp, I had a good run. I truly thought I had a fart just now at work. It was so wet, and I'm in the portajohn, and thank God that there is sanitizer.

Thank god for job site shitters.....but what are you doing about the oil slick showing on the back of your pants?

Edited by Longhornstampede
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ocugolf

ocugolf 1214

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Though I didn’t know I had shit myself, not my finest moment. It wasn’t a full release where i was rolling around in my shit. To maybe lessen my shame, i was in the ER two hours after I woke up with Covid and pneumonia, and it took about an hour to put new sheets on. 

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