Best pick up line ever....

[Longboard Horn 40296]

Wanna play rape?
No.
I like where this is going.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ChickenSandwich 9828]

Let’s not turn this rape into a murder

#brileslife

[sheeeit 129]

Not particularly clever but there was an article several years ago where a random sampling of women rated pick up lines and the #1 was "Want to see my Harley".

[Mez2 4023]

hey baby, ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?

[AM Wood 335]

9 minutes ago, sheeeit said:

Not particularly clever but there was an article several years ago where a random sampling of fat, heavily tattooed women rated pick up lines and the #1 was "Want to see my Harley".

fixed it.

[VolenteHawk 495]

"You've got something on your ass."

They look and see nothing.

"My eyes."

 

[bmbmd 1027]

((Les Nessman)) "I am fabulously wealthy".((Les Nessman))

[Longboard Horn 40296]

On 4/24/2018 at 9:33 AM, Mez2 said:

hey baby, ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?

Say what?! 

[mulletpelini 5210]

30% You're going to bed, I'm going to bed, why mess up 2 beds?

[EastTexan 662]

"Ever have your navel licked?" " from the inside?"

[SuingToGetAMessageBoard? 3861]

Babe, are you a cop because you’re probably not here for me but I’m going to act nervous anyway.  

[ImissWallyPryor 9046]

Spoiler

 

"Hey, Baby.  Did I ever tell you I have beautiful eyes?"  -  Johnny Bravo

Edited April 30, 2018 by ImissWallyPryor

[Trey3216 15345]

My wedding weekend one of my 70 yr old Uncles looks at this cute young blonde girl and says:

 

"Hey sweetheart, why don't you go call your mom and see what she's up to.  See if she wants to come out?"

 

She looks at him puzzled...

 

"Well, if she produced you, then she's gotta be some kinda good lookin"

[troph 24781]

I’m itchy... 

works every time

Edited May 3, 2018 by troph

[AM Wood 335]

5 hours ago, troph said:

I’m itchy... 

works every time

Psoriasis is sexy.

[troph 24781]

2 hours ago, AM Wood said:

Psoriasis is sexy.

Synonym for horny (hate that word).  my ex has plaque psoriasis ... it suuuuucked.

[ernest_t_bass 1196]

Odd turn

[AM Wood 335]

6 hours ago, troph said:

Synonym for horny (hate that word).  my ex has plaque psoriasis ... it suuuuucked.

i just threw up in my mouth a little.

[troph 24781]

Flared up after we married 20+ years ago.  When we were having kids she couldn’t do anything about it.  Last 10 years and going forward she’s got it under control.  She’s a very attractive woman.

[troph 24781]

Back to the topic...

 

“wanna fuck?” and “wanna get naked?” are good ones too.  Gf is DTF on either of those as well.

Edited May 3, 2018 by troph

[ChickenSandwich 9828]

Hi

[kingkoopa6 8347]

 

[Modessit 5598]

11 hours ago, troph said:

 Gf is DTF on either of those as well.

Good to know. I think. 

[troph 24781]

9 hours ago, ChickenSandwich said:

Hi

Will try that one too.

[ChickenSandwich 9828]

46 minutes ago, troph said:

Will try that one too.

Forgot to add

*Tom Brady only

Edited May 4, 2018 by ChickenSandwich

[d.plainview872 175]

Hi. I'm...

[Thetexashammer 1062]

On 5/3/2018 at 6:12 AM, troph said:

Synonym for horny (hate that word).  my ex has plaque psoriasis ... it suuuuucked.

Whenever I would use a fake name, it was always "randy". Get it? Synonym for horny.

[troph 24781]

On 5/4/2018 at 8:38 AM, ChickenSandwich said:

Forgot to add

*Tom Brady only

it worked.  can I get a trophy?

[ChickenSandwich 9828]

1 hour ago, troph said:

it worked.  can I get a trophy?

+rep my lady

[TexasBeta 1261]

Latt22 can attest - Had a fraternity brother whose standard pickup tended to revolve around the statement

 

"Of course, I come from that kind of money" .. tended to work

[troph 24781]

Latt22 can attest - Had a fraternity brother whose standard pickup tended to revolve around the statement
 
"Of course, I come from that kind of money" .. tended to work

Yeah it did. And now at 40 something I won’t even think about someone unless they do alright.

[Sbbruin 21829]

"Ever seen a grown man naked?" or

"Ever been in a Turkish prison?" 

have been pretty effective for me.  Oh wait, we're talking chicks, aren't we?

[Modessit 5598]

My last name comes from German and isn't too common. When a chick would ask my name and I'd tell her, she'd usually ask me to repeat my last name. I would, and then say, "It's German. It means 'good in bed'." Worked more often than not.

[nycHorn 2995]

Saw this one recently somewhere, simply brilliant.

"I'm going to treat you like my little toe;  I'm going to turn off the lights and bang you on every piece of furniture I own."

[MaybeACoordinator 8349]

"Aaaaay I got some co-caine. Let's go out to my truck and fuck."

[McCroskey 1504]

"Aaaaay I got some co-caine. Let's go out to my truck and fuck."

Coach Banks?

[nnm 36351]

7 hours ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

"Aaaaay I got some co-caine. Let's go out to my truck and fuck."

Isn’t that a strategy in the SB thread?

[MaybeACoordinator 8349]

32 minutes ago, nnm said:

Isn’t that a strategy in the SB thread?

I heard that from a sugar baby -- that was a line she rejected as the worst ever. Not that she doesn't love cocaine and fucking. 

[markstanco 12571]

"Aaaaay I got some co-caine. Let's go out to my truck and fuck."

What were you searching to necro a 3 year old thread?

[ROFL BOX 6647]

Ever wanted to fuck your son's best friend?

Not quite so exciting when your best friend is 50+.

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