Gotdamn F'n Rumplemintz

[Marfa Low Crown 2556]

Fuck it. 

You're a godless r'n fuck hack if yoiu've never been to Texas. Fuck you. 
It's 520 AM in Texas and I just woke up. NO. I just came to. 
I don't remember paying the tab at the bar. At all. 
I don't remember picking up pizza... I just saw there's two boxes in the kitchen. How the fuck did that get there?
I don't remember eating anything. I have no f'n idea what time I passed out.
It's hours before my GF wakes up and can help me start to backtrack this shit. The last thing I remember is taking shots of ice cold christmas.
Gotdammit.  
F'n Rumplemintz 

Edited January 2, 2020 by Marfa Low Crown

[RPM 26579]

Should have gone with Goldschläger, you poors.

[Chooky 13340]

I defecated in your laundry hamper. I blame the pizza and the location of the hamper. Apologies. 

[After irth 1245]

2 hours ago, Marfa Low Crown said:

Fuck it. 

You're a godless r'n fuck hack if yoiu've never been to Texas. Fuck you. 
It's 520 AM in Texas and I just woke up. NO. I just came to. 
I don't remember paying the tab at the bar. At all. 
I don't remember picking up pizza... I just saw there's two boxes in the kitchen. How the fuck did that get there?
I don't remember eating anything. I have no f'n idea what time I passed out.
It's hours before my GF wakes up and can help me start to backtrack this shit. The last thing I remember is taking shots of ice cold christmas.
Gotdammit.  
F'n Rumplemintz 

Did ya peek out your front curtains just to verify that your truck is in the driveway, preferably without some homeless guy stuck in your windshield...?

Those are fun mornings.....

[Marfa Low Crown 2556]

1 minute ago, After irth said:

Did ya peek out your front curtains just to verify that your truck is in the driveway, preferably without some homeless guy stuck in your windshield...?

Girlfriend woke up briefly and it's not good.....

Me: I have some questions
Her: <eyes narrowing> I bet you do 
Me: I have no memory of paying the bar tab.
Her: I paid it
Me: Pizza... did I... where did that come from exactly?
Her: You called it in and you walked in to pick it up
Me: Did I eat any of it
Her: Yes, right before you passed out on the couch.. which is one thing... but that was after you peed all over the toilet
Me: I what?
Her: Yep
Me: Do you still love me?
Her: Yes. No more rumpleminze.. K? 

Welp... a few years ago I had to part with jagermeister this way, too.. 

Me: Why are there 3 dirty pans on the stove? Did you get up extra early and make breakfast already
Then girlfriend : <eyes narrowing> No. You did. 
Me: I what?
Then girlfriend: You made a three course meal at 4am and woke me up for it
Me: what?
Then girlfriend: You were very sweet and polite but you also weren't taking no for an answer
Me: jesus fucking christ
Then girlfriend: Then you passed out in the hallway...so I left you there... and then you woke me up about 2 hours later to give me a wet towel
Me: a what?
Then girlfriend: Yeah, you were convinced I had bbq sauce on my  fingers and you wanted to give me a hot towel.
Me: Did I make bbq? 
Then girlfriend: No, you made omelettes. No more Jager... k? 

[workswithseed 2201]

You seem to need read this every couple years. 

[RPM 26579]

55 minutes ago, Marfa Low Crown said:

Girlfriend woke up briefly and it's not good.....

Me: I have some questions
Her: <eyes narrowing> I bet you do 
Me: I have no memory of paying the bar tab.
Her: I paid it
Me: Pizza... did I... where did that come from exactly?
Her: You called it in and you walked in to pick it up
Me: Did I eat any of it
Her: Yes, right before you passed out on the couch.. which is one thing... but that was after you peed all over the toilet
Me: I what?
Her: Yep
Me: Do you still love me?
Her: Yes. No more rumpleminze.. K? 

Welp... a few years ago I had to part with jagermeister this way, too.. 

Me: Why are there 3 dirty pans on the stove? Did you get up extra early and make breakfast already
Then girlfriend : <eyes narrowing> No. You did. 
Me: I what?
Then girlfriend: You made a three course meal at 4am and woke me up for it
Me: what?
Then girlfriend: You were very sweet and polite but you also weren't taking no for an answer
Me: jesus fucking christ
Then girlfriend: Then you passed out in the hallway...so I left you there... and then you woke me up about 2 hours later to give me a wet towel
Me: a what?
Then girlfriend: Yeah, you were convinced I had bbq sauce on my  fingers and you wanted to give me a hot towel.
Me: Did I make bbq? 
Then girlfriend: No, you made omelettes. No more Jager... k? 

Jesus, I've been there. Just without the sobering, caring  influence.

[Pato del Muerto 53367]

You should try some liquid cocaine shots and see where that takes you.