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Marfa Low Crown

Marfa Low Crown 2,546

Posted
Posted
On 3/24/2020 at 3:13 PM, tbone_ said:

Me too. Subscribed just for Marfa updates.

Nothing so far. This is every bit as bad as I remember. Living in a very small town combined with a major pandemic probably isn't helping.... 

Started off with Tinder but it hasn't been the oasis of tramps with low self esteem I was hoping for. Over 10 years ago when I last tried this online crap I don't remember having to screen for trannies....man, there sure are a lot of them out there now and they're better looking than most of the women. 🤣

I'm also working POF. There are more women on there but progress is slow. I've had a couple big uns' tug the line and although I'd almost fuck dirt at this point , apparently I still have some remnants of standards. That won't last. Meanwhile, the profiles all start looking the same :

"No games. Are there any real guys out there? My ( 2, 3, 6,  156 kids) are the most important thing to me. NOT looking to hook up. NO FWB. It's so hard to write about myself. Just ask. No fakes. Friends first. My pictures are 10 years old & I 'm 30lbs heavier now but imma let you figure that out. I'm a diva and I don't need a man. Fuck you. Pay me.". 

I'll try to have better news soon... 

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Gil Bang

Gil Bang 25,959

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Posted

Thank God I've got a good GF.  Pussy is the only thing keeping me sane.  It's been raining and will continue to rain, so projects around the house are a no-go.  

So, fucking the GF a couple of times a day is what I do when I get tired of reading. 

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Gil Bang

Gil Bang 25,959

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Posted
1 hour ago, tbone_ said:

Good thing you haven’t married her then.

 

Ain't that the truth.   We are both divorced, and we've lived together for about 8 years now.  We are a couple in every sense, co-mingled finances, advanced directives, on each other's life insurance policies, etc. 

We've discussed marriage a few times, and we both agree that we are very happy with they way things are now, so no need to change anything.  

Like a lot of men, I was married to a woman that fucked like a mink before marriage, and then shut it down after marriage.  I'm not living through that misery again, and the GF is well aware of that.  I can count on one hand the times I've wanted it and she's said no. 

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Marfa Low Crown

Marfa Low Crown 2,546

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Posted (edited)

Yeah, Gil that’s an awesome post. I mean... I still hate you for having your shit sorted out honest and still getting laid, but that’s an awesome post . Fuck....and so much about the sex drive switchers after marriage. I jussssst dodged that & it positively would have happened 😞

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17,557

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Posted
7 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

Thank God I've got a good GF.  Pussy is the only thing keeping me sane.  It's been raining and will continue to rain, so projects around the house are a no-go.  

So, fucking the GF a couple of times a day is what I do when I get tired of reading. 

Not seeing the pics. Loading up the neg blaster...

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Gil Bang

Gil Bang 25,959

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Posted
14 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

Gil aren't you ~50? I call bullshit on a couple times a day.  I'm good for 2-3 days after one session.  Quite honestly, that's more than enough for me.

I am, and it's true, because there's nothing better to do.  If I was busy working, it would be once a day almost certainly, with the occasional BJ mixed in there somewhere.  These days, I knock one out when we wake up, and then an afternooner.    Now, do I "NEED" the afternooner?  Probably not, but I can certainly perform.  I'm not walking around with a rager at 3 PM, but I get there soon enough. 

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Sandman

Sandman 3,403

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Posted

I'm not sure what the reasons may be but my sex life has ramped up in the last few weeks, in quantity and quality. My wife's been working from home for a couple of weeks, maybe that's got her to feeling less tired? Or she's worried about the virus? We've been knockin' boots at least 4-5 times a week, and these aren't quickies. We're talking full-blown fucking and sucking sessions. I will not complain, nor will I choose to investigate what's causing this.

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Marfa Low Crown

Marfa Low Crown 2,546

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Posted

 Alright I have an update.

Okay. It's not really an update but it's the post this thread needs and the one I deserve, apparently. There's been some hope and some disappointment. There was the gal whose occupation was as a foot model on a porn site. She never wrote back. Another one had monster titties but was in a wheel chair. I'm still working some leads...a crazy psych nurse (truly redundant statement)  with some respectable hangers I'm trying to reel in but overall it's still not going well.  As previously stated, my small town location is already a big problem to breaking the seal on 2020 but this flu business is emerging as darn near a deal-breaker. Pretty unreasonable of these women to not wanna go out with and cozy up to a stranger in the midst of a global pandemic. 

Patience plays here. Online dating is nothing more than a sales funnel and I'm not abandoning it yet. You look at 100, you message 5-10, get some interest from 1-2 and rinse repeat until something sticks. Every once in a while in life a woman will break the girl code and tell us men what we have already known about them our entire lives : women often don't even know exactly what it is they want. That's why despite what 100% of these ladies say... I'd say most actually DO want to get laid.. and sooner rather than later. When last I did this online thing...I pulled the wool on the first or second date on 4 out of 5 women I went out with. Some things may have changed in these years but I doubt this has.  


However, since this is taking a while I've come up with a 2-point plan that's going to fix everrrrything... 

spacer.png

I'm expanding my search for getting laid in 2020 from public sites to include the private sector ...which I'll detail at the end of this post.

First, a few more observations about this online dating business: 

There are way more tattooed women than there were a decade ago. These tattooed women online remind me a lot of firefighters, anyone who ever played pro sports, crossfitters, pipeline welders, or the Plan 2 students when I was at UT. They cannot not tell you this thing. So, if they have tattoos they are absolutely going to make sure you know about it early and often. They have to tell you about it, apparently they're bound to a life-threatening obligation they've made. If the gal regularly exercises it's going to be the same with the addition that you'll need to see at least one gym bathroom selfie  in case you're the dense type that wasn't initially awed. 

One thing that remains unchanged is if a woman has diva, goddess, or queen in her user name she's pushing or beating 200lbs. If she has more than one of these keywords in her name you can add 50lbs for each... so like..you can be confident an Austin_Diva_Queen72 type would be a 250lber. Or more. F'n for sure.

Same as it ever was, the actual good looking women you'd really want to bang aren't browsing men. They're answering emails, screening dick pics, and modifying their profiles to chew out every man on the site while simultaneously renouncing their vaginas. If you want in on all that you're going to have to go them. Every site is going to have some lunkers, some long-time hoggers, that will  rise like leviathans from the depths to potentially engulf every new guy that shows up. The big ones have to really work it and I get that... you'll get an email from at least one. 

Unlike 10 years ago there are way more fake accounts and bots. That super model looking account with one picture that messages you from Prague about how interesting you are... Yeah, that's not real. Let that create pause in adding real $ into any of these sites.. half or more of the 'likes' and other things you have to pay to see are going to be fictitious BS. 

I have also noticed a slight but consistent over representation of Gemini & Aquarius on these dating sites. I can only assume that these are the craziest signs of the zodiac and the ones most likely to still have you single in your 40's and beyond. Also, there are a fair amount of hair stylists. Why? Because of course there f'n are. Speaking of crazy,  many profiles are a hot mess of roadblocks that leave me feeling almost like I just walked in unannounced while the gal was changing clothes or something. I'm not kidding, half of these bios make me feel like - I - , the gentle reader, was somehow responsible for their last fucked up relationship. In fact, if you're packing male equipment and reading any of what I'm saying here right now then you're fucking responsible and these women are mad at you too bro. Own it already you f'n bastard.


Regarding photos... 

 There seems to be about the same amount of duck face as there once was. It'll never go away I'm afraid. There are now photo filter things where women can not only have mouse noses or rainbows shooting out of their ears, they can also apparently doctor up their photos -significantly-.  That's kind of a problem. Women have their own promo posters now too. It's nice to see a picture of a duck faced gal in a forced and bossy pose with a bunch of inspirational quotes about paying her own bills and not needing a man. With butterflies.  There's also some kind of 'live' feature where women interact on video or some shit.  I haven't looked into it and have written it off as attention seeking that is both gay as fuck and regarded. I guess they don't realize that in under a minute I can be watching a woman live stream a sex act with a Strudel while I smartly wear the clown shoes in the comfort and privacy of my own home . Top that shit.

Lastly, many women will have at least one group photo where it's your job to figure out which one she is. This is painless and easy if you use a system. Know that there will usually be at least one hot one your eyes will go to first in the picture. Yeah, that's not her. Your gal is going to be the second to least or least attractive one in the picture. If there is more than one hot friend then whichever one in the picture you'd bang last.. Yep, that's her. Oh, and she's older and heavier than in that picture now too. Salud. 


Summing up online dating?  

spacer.png

Alright... so where to go from here? 

Current options in the private sector:

spacer.png


At the time of this writing, these represent the most intriguing options outside of online dating for getting my dick off the sidelines and into the fight in 2020.

a) The recent ex-girlfriend 
We talk regularly and maintain a great friendship. With the time and space we've now had apart she -might- remember that she, too, has not been laid in 2020 or that she likes it in the pooper while getting her hair pulled. I have to get some more stuff from her house in a few days anyways. Not going to push the issue but I am going to hope just a little.
Odds of banging ex-gf : 25-35% 

b) The cleaning lady Natalie  
Pros: sufficiently flirty, older... but still within SAM range for tracking and targeting, big ol' butt, probably not been laid in a good while
Cons: I'm no genius but I'm guessing there's a few things that could go wrong, maybe even really wrong, with banging the cleaning lady. The bigger problem here, though, is it's a mushy butt. I had the chance to get a fair accounting of Natalie's ass in tight white pants on her walk to the car the other day and while it has a nice shake it's pretty lumpy.
Odds of banging Natalie while sober: 10-15% 
Odds of banging Natalie while not sober : 30-50% 

c) The girl at the vet clinic
Pros: younger, cute, friendly,  nice big ass, decent tits, strong legs and great f'n hips. 
Cons: Insufficient conversations / connection. Some chatting but unless I ran into her in town somewhere, I don't really have a valid reason to go back to the vet clinic to lay more groundwork. 
Odds of banging the vet clinic girl: 0-5% 
Odds of banging the vet girl after introducing a plague level infestation of fleas into the house thus requiring several more visits to the clinic : 5-10% 

d) Ex-ex former drug addict girlfriend 

Pros: bi-sexual, likes porn, PhD level blowjobs, seriously one of the most fantastically corrupted and talented women I've met who's up for just about anything  
Cons: crazy as fuck (of course) , may not be single, is most likely broke, would have to fly her in from out of state or travel , I don't want to risk running into anyone I know while she's with me so if I hosted I'd have to pick a town sufficiently far from home, weed is her thing so would have to stock provisions enough to keep her stoned 24/7,  not the sharpest knife in the drawer.. for example.. she thought the moon was a star until I explained to her what a star was and what a planet was. Basically nothing in common whatsoever except sex. 
Odds of banging crazy ex-ex GF if available and she still remembers I started dating ex-gf the day after we broke up : 50-75% 
Odds of banging crazy ex-ex GF if available and she does not remember all that : 95-100%

TLDR: 

spacer.png

I now pass the torch back to you assholes who are actually getting laid 🤘
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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8,810

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Marfa Low Crown said:

 Alright I have an update.

Okay. It's not really an update but it's the post this thread needs and the one I deserve, apparently. There's been some hope and some disappointment. There was the gal whose occupation was as a foot model on a porn site. She never wrote back. Another one had monster titties but was in a wheel chair. I'm still working some leads...a crazy psych nurse (truly redundant statement)  with some respectable hangers I'm trying to reel in but overall it's still not going well.  As previously stated, my small town location is already a big problem to breaking the seal on 2020 but this flu business is emerging as darn near a deal-breaker. Pretty unreasonable of these women to not wanna go out with and cozy up to a stranger in the midst of a global pandemic. 

Patience plays here. Online dating is nothing more than a sales funnel and I'm not abandoning it yet. You look at 100, you message 5-10, get some interest from 1-2 and rinse repeat until something sticks. Every once in a while in life a woman will break the girl code and tell us men what we have already known about them our entire lives : women often don't even know exactly what it is they want. That's why despite what 100% of these ladies say... I'd say most actually DO want to get laid.. and sooner rather than later. When last I did this online thing...I pulled the wool on the first or second date on 4 out of 5 women I went out with. Some things may have changed in these years but I doubt this has.  


However, since this is taking a while I've come up with a 2-point plan that's going to fix everrrrything... 

spacer.png

I'm expanding my search for getting laid in 2020 from public sites to include the private sector ...which I'll detail at the end of this post.

First, a few more observations about this online dating business: 

There are way more tattooed women than there were a decade ago. These tattooed women online remind me a lot of firefighters, anyone who ever played pro sports, crossfitters, pipeline welders, or the Plan 2 students when I was at UT. They cannot not tell you this thing. So, if they have tattoos they are absolutely going to make sure you know about it early and often. They have to tell you about it, apparently they're bound to a life-threatening obligation they've made. If the gal regularly exercises it's going to be the same with the addition that you'll need to see at least one gym bathroom selfie  in case you're the dense type that wasn't initially awed. 

One thing that remains unchanged is if a woman has diva, goddess, or queen in her user name she's pushing or beating 200lbs. If she has more than one of these keywords in her name you can add 50lbs for each... so like..you can be confident an Austin_Diva_Queen72 type would be a 250lber. Or more. F'n for sure.

Same as it ever was, the actual good looking women you'd really want to bang aren't browsing men. They're answering emails, screening dick pics, and modifying their profiles to chew out every man on the site while simultaneously renouncing their vaginas. If you want in on all that you're going to have to go them. Every site is going to have some lunkers, some long-time hoggers, that will  rise like leviathans from the depths to potentially engulf every new guy that shows up. The big ones have to really work it and I get that... you'll get an email from at least one. 

Unlike 10 years ago there are way more fake accounts and bots. That super model looking account with one picture that messages you from Prague about how interesting you are... Yeah, that's not real. Let that create pause in adding real $ into any of these sites.. half or more of the 'likes' and other things you have to pay to see are going to be fictitious BS. 

I have also noticed a slight but consistent over representation of Gemini & Aquarius on these dating sites. I can only assume that these are the craziest signs of the zodiac and the ones most likely to still have you single in your 40's and beyond. Also, there are a fair amount of hair stylists. Why? Because of course there f'n are. Speaking of crazy,  many profiles are a hot mess of roadblocks that leave me feeling almost like I just walked in unannounced while the gal was changing clothes or something. I'm not kidding, half of these bios make me feel like - I - , the gentle reader, was somehow responsible for their last fucked up relationship. In fact, if you're packing male equipment and reading any of what I'm saying here right now then you're fucking responsible and these women are mad at you too bro. Own it already you f'n bastard.


Regarding photos... 

 There seems to be about the same amount of duck face as there once was. It'll never go away I'm afraid. There are now photo filter things where women can not only have mouse noses or rainbows shooting out of their ears, they can also apparently doctor up their photos -significantly-.  That's kind of a problem. Women have their own promo posters now too. It's nice to see a picture of a duck faced gal in a forced and bossy pose with a bunch of inspirational quotes about paying her own bills and not needing a man. With butterflies.  There's also some kind of 'live' feature where women interact on video or some shit.  I haven't looked into it and have written it off as attention seeking that is both gay as fuck and regarded. I guess they don't realize that in under a minute I can be watching a woman live stream a sex act with a Strudel while I smartly wear the clown shoes in the comfort and privacy of my own home . Top that shit.

Lastly, many women will have at least one group photo where it's your job to figure out which one she is. This is painless and easy if you use a system. Know that there will usually be at least one hot one your eyes will go to first in the picture. Yeah, that's not her. Your gal is going to be the second to least or least attractive one in the picture. If there is more than one hot friend then whichever one in the picture you'd bang last.. Yep, that's her. Oh, and she's older and heavier than in that picture now too. Salud. 


Summing up online dating?  

spacer.png

Alright... so where to go from here? 

Current options in the private sector:

spacer.png


At the time of this writing, these represent the most intriguing options outside of online dating for getting my dick off the sidelines and into the fight in 2020.

a) The recent ex-girlfriend 
We talk regularly and maintain a great friendship. With the time and space we've now had apart she -might- remember that she, too, has not been laid in 2020 or that she likes it in the pooper while getting her hair pulled. I have to get some more stuff from her house in a few days anyways. Not going to push the issue but I am going to hope just a little.
Odds of banging ex-gf : 25-35% 

b) The cleaning lady Natalie  
Pros: sufficiently flirty, older... but still within SAM range for tracking and targeting, big ol' butt, probably not been laid in a good while
Cons: I'm no genius but I'm guessing there's a few things that could go wrong, maybe even really wrong, with banging the cleaning lady. The bigger problem here, though, is it's a mushy butt. I had the chance to get a fair accounting of Natalie's ass in tight white pants on her walk to the car the other day and while it has a nice shake it's pretty lumpy.
Odds of banging Natalie while sober: 10-15% 
Odds of banging Natalie while not sober : 30-50% 

c) The girl at the vet clinic
Pros: younger, cute, friendly,  nice big ass, decent tits, strong legs and great f'n hips. 
Cons: Insufficient conversations / connection. Some chatting but unless I ran into her in town somewhere, I don't really have a valid reason to go back to the vet clinic to lay more groundwork. 
Odds of banging the vet clinic girl: 0-5% 
Odds of banging the vet girl after introducing a plague level infestation of fleas into the house thus requiring several more visits to the clinic : 5-10% 

d) Ex-ex former drug addict girlfriend 

Pros: bi-sexual, likes porn, PhD level blowjobs, seriously one of the most fantastically corrupted and talented women I've met who's up for just about anything  
Cons: crazy as fuck (of course) , may not be single, is most likely broke, would have to fly her in from out of state or travel , I don't want to risk running into anyone I know while she's with me so if I hosted I'd have to pick a town sufficiently far from home, weed is her thing so would have to stock provisions enough to keep her stoned 24/7,  not the sharpest knife in the drawer.. for example.. she thought the moon was a star until I explained to her what a star was and what a planet was. Basically nothing in common whatsoever except sex. 
Odds of banging crazy ex-ex GF if available and she still remembers I started dating ex-gf the day after we broke up : 50-75% 
Odds of banging crazy ex-ex GF if available and she does not remember all that : 95-100%

TLDR: 

spacer.png

I now pass the torch back to you assholes who are actually getting laid 🤘

Jesus how much meth did you do before writing that novel?

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hundredTT

hundredTT 578

Posted
Posted (edited)

While many quarantiners have not much else to do but fuck, I’m getting killed in that dept. I’m one of the unlucky Fucks who has to go to work everyday still and be around people. Not exactly a turn on for the wife, especially since a colleague tested positive last week. But when things get back to normal, I’ma demand reparations.

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Marfa Low Crown

Marfa Low Crown 2,546

Posted
Posted

 

29 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Jesus how much meth did you do before writing that novel?

 No meth, but it's past time to start drinking today.  Heck, I didn't even mention the woman with the jailhouse tattoos of cowboy hats on her titties. Enormous floppers these things, and the home job cowboy hat tattoos were clearly inked as head wear for her areola... whose radius is likely measured in parsecs and puts mall pizza pepperoni slices to shame. She also couldn't spell her home town correctly. 

3w6gof.jpg

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Marfa Low Crown

Marfa Low Crown 2,546

Posted
Posted (edited)


Needed to run some big city errands and got back from two days with the ex-girlfriend. On the one hand it was nice to see her and on the other I was re-reminded of some of the reasons why I broke up in the first place. Regardless, I got neither action nor even near a designated orifice on the visit. I didn't expect to get laid to begin with but the mandatory Bruce Willis 12 Monkeys scrub-down she made me do when I got there, or anytime I left and came back, certainly guaranteed it. She's working from home so I whacked off to porn in the guest room while having periodic conversations with her from her office a door down. Ahhh, felt like I had just stepped back into the last 10-12 months of our relationship. Good times. 

Regardless, none of this matters because I finally got something cooking online. It took a while and a lot of BS but even in a pandemic, patience pays. Got a nice email from this gal today. 


Gents, meet Amelie. 

spacer.png

For me she passes the eyeball test, love those hips, and Murphy has always been one of my favorite Croatian last names. Yeah, the distance is a little far but I'm a college educated guy who prefers to wear a blue collar and this matchup is feeling like kismet. Love begins with love and an ocean or even a pandemic can't stop that. Still working on my response... need to get it right.. don't want to appear desperate or eager... but I did want to keep you guys in the loop. 

 
Edited by Marfa Low Crown
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