Gwyneth's Big Brown . . . Candle

[TwiceHorn 31646]

Gywneth Paltrow Is Selling A Candle That Smells Like Her Vagina

[Armybrat 40942]

Is the candle in the shape of a fish?

[nnm 36736]

The crazy is strong in this one. Where does she land on the crazy/hot matrix?

[deadshank 24653]

I willing to bet it smells Country Strong. 

[Js1 85651]

[Grade of D as in David 13253]

Is there a discount if you bundle it with a Fleshlight and a copy of Shakespeare in Love?

Edited January 11, 2020 by Grade of D as in David
Typo

[Homercles 10206]

2 hours ago, nnm said:

The crazy is strong in this one. Where does she land on the crazy/hot matrix?

Isn’t she anti-vaxx and has some dumbass show on Netflix that is essentially a commercial for her bullshit products?

https://www.google.com/amp/s/arstechnica.com/gaming/2020/01/goops-netflix-trailer-paltrow-sinks-into-a-vagina-spews-pseudoscience/%3famp=1

[Hate 20154]

3 hours ago, nnm said:

The crazy is strong in this one. Where does she land on the crazy/hot matrix?

She is absolutely smoking hot, but she seems a little...off?  She doesn't seem like the chop your dick off crazy variety, but more the annoy the fuck out of you doing weird shit kind of crazy.  She's the kind of woman that plans your weekends for you and they revolve around making pottery, meditating in a room with a bunch of people farting, and drinking alcohol free organic vodka with prune juice.

[Pescado_Rojo 19452]

She's spoiled, privileged, never been told "no" in her life crazy...the worst kind. 

[Incredulity 11684]

43 minutes ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

She's spoiled, privileged, never been told "no" in her life crazy...the worst kind. 

As a corollary, a the world needs to know my every thought/emotion kind.

 I blame social media.  They’re multiplying.

[South Austin 52660]

I mean . . . I’d stick my dick in her.

[52-80 19274]

4 hours ago, nnm said:

The crazy is strong in this one. Where does she land on the crazy/hot matrix?

nowhere near hot enough to justify that level of crazy.  hollywood C

[Brothahorn 10087]

Quote

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow is selling a candle that smells like her vagina at $75 a pop

This bitch is crazy. Hell for $25, I can get the real thing at a truck stop. Dizzy ho.

Quote

The scent was then finalized for the “This Smells Like My Vagina” candle, which reportedly sold out within hours of its test run.

Women are dumb.

Edited January 11, 2020 by Brothahorn

[Chooky 13321]

Goop executives said the 'Dr. Phil's Taint Candle' had disappointing sales numbers and that the product line of things that smell like Dr. Phil will likely be discontinued after the first quarter.

[Steel Shank 9435]

She needs a good dicking.

[TexArcher 38119]

B+ face, F tits, F brain, F personality.  

I wouldn't go out my way to smell her vagina if it was free.

[RPM 26374]

47 minutes ago, Steel Shank said:

She needs a good dicking.

I'd be glad to volunteer.

[Steel Shank 9435]

4 minutes ago, RPM said:

I'd be glad to volunteer.

I said good dicking.

[RPM 26374]

Just now, Steel Shank said:

I said good dicking.

OK, I'll go easy on her.

[Chad Fuck 17829]

Ok, I guess I'LL do it.

 

[mulletpelini 5216]

I like her mom better

 

[Chooky 13321]

1 hour ago, mulletpelini said:

I like her mom better

 

That's a blythe dismissal.  

[Surly Bevo 25256]

Gwyneth is 47 so does that candle come with extra wax to lube it up when it's going through a hot flash.  

[Underdog 28823]

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack stuck is dick in Gwyneth's candlestick.  

[Gil Bang 26069]

So I follow Dr. Jenifer Gunter on twitter.   She's a Gyno from Canada, and she rips on Gwyneth's bogus bullshit on a regular basis.

Long thread today about the vag candle, and some guy chimes in that the best advice his dad ever gave him was "if it smells like cologne, leave it alone".

[BluTechsan 393]

To you have to pay extra to test the authenticity or is it included in the cost of the candle?

[texasjacket 289]

So when do you get to smell the real thing to know the candle is legit? Is she have a candle/snatch sampling at a Bath and Body works or something?

[El Diablo 4232]

I enjoyed her miniseries with Mario Batali, "Spain...On The Road Again". I thought then that her snatch would probably smell like paella. I'm not paying $75 for paella either. 

[Buzzrock 15010]

She’s vapid and horrible but the candle thing was kinda funny. She also looks great at 47.

[deadshank 24653]

10 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

So I follow Dr. Jenifer Gunter on twitter.   She's a Gyno from Canada, and she rips on Gwyneth's bogus bullshit on a regular basis.

Long thread today about the vag candle, and some guy chimes in that the best advice his dad ever gave him was "if it smells like cologne, leave it alone".

Why do you follow female Canadian gynos on Twitter?

better yet, why are you on Twitter?

is this place not filled it’s enough oddities to suit you?

[Chad Fuck 17829]

She’s vapid and horrible but the candle thing was kinda funny. She also looks great at 47.

There’s a thread for that.

[El Diablo 4232]

She needs to go right on ahead and make a boxed set. A vag candle, some chocolate kisses from molds of her nipples and a fluted bud vase where the top of the vase is from an impression of her starfish. 

[ChickenSandwich 9856]

7 hours ago, texasjacket said:

So when do you get to smell the real thing to know the candle is legit? Is she have a candle/snatch sampling at a Bath and Body works or something?

Harvey Weinstein is working the QC. 

[SurlyBDR 22886]

[Gil Bang 26069]

Why do you follow female Canadian gynos on Twitter?
better yet, why are you on Twitter?
is this place not filled it’s enough oddities to suit you?

She’s snarky and funny.

[Buffsoldier 1895]

9 hours ago, El Diablo said:

She needs to go right on ahead and make a boxed set. A vag candle, some chocolate kisses from molds of her nipples and a fluted bud vase where the top of the vase is from an impression of her starfish. 

By definition aren't they all a box set?

[DougO 5257]

On 1/11/2020 at 3:01 PM, mulletpelini said:

I like her mom better

 

This is the correct response.

[jimmyjazz 46351]

On 1/11/2020 at 1:25 PM, Chooky said:

Goop executives said the 'Dr. Phil's Taint Candle' had disappointing sales numbers and that the product line of things that smell like Dr. Phil will likely be discontinued after the first quarter.

Well, that's because Dr. Phil's taint smells like "cash me ousside, how bout dah" vagina.  Apples and oranges, so to speak.

[Neonmoon 38130]

Not going to lie, I’ve always wanted a candle that’s shaped like a dumpster 

[Grade of D as in David 13253]

10 hours ago, Neonmoon said:

Not going to lie, I’ve always wanted a candle that’s shaped like a dumpster 

https://dumpsterfirecandle.com/

[Chad Fuck 17829]

https://dumpsterfirecandle.com/

That is awesome

[Hate 20154]

They need to add a couch to that collection.

[Buffsoldier 1895]

https://www.hotwicks.com/products/the-stripper-candle

[davidg 4040]

5 minutes ago, Buffsoldier said:

https://www.hotwicks.com/products/the-stripper-candle

No mention of glitter.  Would not buy.

[DougO 5257]

8 hours ago, Chad Fuck said:

That is awesome

I couldn't find their West Virginia couch candle.

[pacman 7379]

On 1/12/2020 at 8:46 AM, El Diablo said:

She needs to go right on ahead and make a boxed set. A vag candle, some chocolate kisses from molds of her nipples and a fluted bud vase where the top of the vase is from an impression of her starfish. 

you must be mba

[nnm 36736]

On 1/12/2020 at 8:46 AM, El Diablo said:

She needs to go right on ahead and make a boxed set. A vag candle, some chocolate kisses from molds of her nipples and a fluted bud vase where the top of the vase is from an impression of her starfish. 

https://www.conjureneworleans.com/product-page/vagina-candle


https://www.amazon.com/After-dinner-nipples-chocolate-fondant/dp/B0014BQ5G2/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Chocolate+nipples&qid=1579056332&sr=8-1

https://www.bidorbuy.co.za/item/25534999/PAIR_of_VAGINA_SHAPE_POTTERY_from_BLISFUL.html

Edited January 15, 2020 by nnm

[NeverMarryAStripper 21998]

Did they use Hope Solo as the mold for that vase?

[blacklab 11957]

What I want to know is at what point did they take the sample to make the smell from?

freshly showered and shaved?

full grown bush after a 10 mile bike ride in the summer in Houston?

Aunt Flo in town?

after a full night of her boyfriend driving the meat bus into tuna town?

the possibilities are endless

[Kermit 3159]

Give me one of them bike ride candles.