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Countryisms

Buzzrock

By Buzzrock
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ImissWallyPryor

ImissWallyPryor 9046

Posted
Posted
20 hours ago, abuelo gringo said:

Little pitchers have big ears.

I always thought it was PICTURES, kinda like a fly on the wall.

 

I worked with an ol' boy once who was commenting on the attractiveness of a woman at work.  Someone else said she was a bit on the hefty side.  His replay:  Cowboys like fat calves.

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abuelo gringo

abuelo gringo 321

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

I always thought it was PICTURES, kinda like a fly on the wall.

 

I worked with an ol' boy once who was commenting on the attractiveness of a woman at work.  Someone else said she was a bit on the hefty side.  His replay:  Cowboys like fat calves.

Nope.  Water jugs, called pitchers, have large ear shaped handles.  Thus little pitchers have big ears. You have to be careful what you say around kids.

Edited by abuelo gringo
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ulukinatme

ulukinatme 1764

Posted
Posted

My dad was an ol' country boy, used to hit us with stuff from this thread all the time.

I haven't heard a lot of people use this one, but anytime I'd say "Hey" to him he'd always respond:

"Straw is cheaper, grass is free, buy a farm you'll have all three."

Also, if I ever asked him to repeat himself, he'd respond with the ol' "I don't chew my cabbage twice."

One of the more popular ones:  "If a frog had wings it wouldn't bump it's ass when it hopped."

MIL used to always use "Tough titty, said the kitty."

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abuelo gringo

abuelo gringo 321

Posted
Posted (edited)
5 hours ago, ulukinatme said:

My dad was an ol' country boy, used to hit us with stuff from this thread all the time.

I haven't heard a lot of people use this one, but anytime I'd say "Hey" to him he'd always respond:

"Straw is cheaper, grass is free, buy a farm you'll have all three."

Also, if I ever asked him to repeat himself, he'd respond with the ol' "I don't chew my cabbage twice."

One of the more popular ones:  "If a frog had wings it wouldn't bump it's ass when it hopped."

MIL used to always use "Tough titty, said the kitty."

When we would say "hey!", my mom would always say "Hay's cheaper than corn."  Never really understood what it meant, other than hay is really cheaper than corn.

 

Oh - and if we asked "Why" about something, she would say "Cat fur, want a pair of kitten britches?"  Doesn't make a lot of sense either.

It was when we asked "What for?" (said what fur?) that she would answer about the kitten britches, which makes more sense.

Edited by abuelo gringo
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Buffsoldier

Buffsoldier 1895

Posted
Posted

Not quite a countryism, but the difference between a countryism and an Armyism is pretty slim:

One 100+ degree day on my first tour in Iraq, and on a convoy one of my peers said, "Buffsoldier, you're good at making shit up.  How would you describe this heat?"

"I'm sweatin' like a Catholic Priest at a choir boys convention.

The PFC driving the Humvee almost drove into a ditch.

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brakeman

brakeman 28370

Posted
Posted

My dad would always tell us "only brush the teeth that you would like to keep"

he would also say for a small distance was a "cunt-hair"

his momma would make me wash my "flunkies" for hands

probably not a Countryisms but my beer store in college in galveston was huggy bear's on broadway and owner would greet you with "sup puppy"

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Reagan1k

Reagan1k 3024

Posted
Posted (edited)

Forgot this one whenever dealing with a tough situation or struggling with a task...... " It'd be easier of you plowed around that stump instead of over it." 

We had a lot of "cattywampus" references around my grandfather's house.  "Shit's all cattywampus since you messed with my tools"  

Also had a lot of "boondoggles" - Interestingly I was the subject of most of these.  Go figure.

Edited by Reagan1k
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cknight

cknight 184

Posted
Posted

My grandpa used the term “post turtle”. I.e. that fella is in way over his head; he shouldn’t have gotten that job; he’s a post turtle. 10 yr Cknight asked what a post turtle was and it was explained this way: a post turtle is a turtle that is put on top of a fence post in the middle of the country. He doesn’t know how he got there, what he’s going to do and how he’s going to get off. That’s a post turtle

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Al_4_ISU

Al_4_ISU 12464

Posted
Posted (edited)

I don't think I've seen these, but I've been glossing.  Always a big of fan of "Sweating like a whore in the front row of church".

 

"Nervous as a dog shitting razor blades"

"By a cunt hair" (unit of measurement)

"Not my pig, not my farm" (not my problem)

"Sweatin' like a German butcher"

"Every horse rolls over some time" (explanation for doing something out of character)

"Drunker than 10 Indians" (racist)

"Happier'n a pig in shit"

"Pert near" (pretty close)

"If my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle" (response to a stupid hypothetical)

Words for drunk:  creamed, greased, sauced, smoked, tore up

 

Edited by Al_4_ISU
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Elvis

Elvis 3371

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Posted

So I'm in need of a good countryism. 

 

My son's are 10 and 6 and I coach and scout them, so I'm around a lot of kids.  I've got most of them saying yes sir and yes coach, but my pet peeve is when I address them, and they instinctively look up and say "what?"  without thinking.  I've been telling them "listen here, I'll never ask you a question that the answer is: what."  Sometimes I'll follow up with "unless I ask you to name a unit of power".  (Watt).

Help me make these knuckleheads feel stupid.

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Buffsoldier

Buffsoldier 1895

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, Elvis said:

So I'm in need of a good countryism. 

 

My son's are 10 and 6 and I coach and scout them, so I'm around a lot of kids.  I've got most of them saying yes sir and yes coach, but my pet peeve is when I address them, and they instinctively look up and say "what?"  without thinking.  I've been telling them "listen here, I'll never ask you a question that the answer is: what."  Sometimes I'll follow up with "unless I ask you to name a unit of power".  (Watt).

Help me make these knuckleheads feel stupid.

"Y'all just woke up this morning and took a whole bottle of stupid pills, didn't you?"

ETA: (would be "dumbass pills", but little kids and all....)

Edited by Buffsoldier
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