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Most people reach peak for being miserable around age 47, study suggests (US men = early 50's)

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Dbeasy

Dbeasy 15,052

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Posted

If you are around 45 and contemplating a major career change, I can at least tell you how it worked out for me.

I decide to get out of the industry I had been working in since age 25. My industry was large but had developed certain characteristics that didn’t align with what I wanted out of my life in the future. So, I found a way to other industries.

It was tough because I was making extremely good money and was very high in the corporate ladder. But I did it anyway. For the most part it’s worked out pretty well, and people I left behind who were also my age seem to be fairly unhappy about still being stuck in that industry in their mid-50’s, but now it’s really difficult for some of them to get out because of their age.

I can’t recommend it to everyone, but the thought of being in that industry today makes me shudder. I’m glad I moved my cheese.

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BBQ2Bayou

BBQ2Bayou 807

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7 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

I'm 46. I really don't like some of the management at my company. I would really like a dog. I'd like to fuck hotter women more frequently. I'd like to make more money.

I could say every one of those things 10 years ago.

I'm happier now than I've ever been.

Still want more hot women, money and a buddy for squirrel hunting. I suspect that I'll still feel the same about at least two of those in 10 years. I plan on getting a dog before then.

I'll kill critters with you. I love killing critters. 

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Not a cat

Not a cat 5,658

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Turning 50 this month and feeling good.  47 was an absolute bitch but I was going through a divorce with 2 kids.

Youngest graduates high school in 3 1/2 years and I'm already calculating what I can start doing on my bucket list before my body breaks down.  I figure I better get on with the hike Appalachian trail or canoe Mississippi right away and leave learning to sail and RV around the US for mid to late 50s.  

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ShaggyBevo RIP

ShaggyBevo RIP 3,868

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17 minutes ago, Not a cat said:

Turning 50 this month and feeling good.  47 was an absolute bitch but I was going through a divorce with 2 kids.

Youngest graduates high school in 3 1/2 years and I'm already calculating what I can start doing on my bucket list before my body breaks down.  I figure I better get on with the hike Appalachian trail or canoe Mississippi right away and leave learning to sail and RV around the US for mid to late 50s.  

My mom just climbed Machu Picchu at 88 because she wanted to do it before she got too old.

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Iceman

Iceman 2,715

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Posted
25 minutes ago, blacklab said:

lets see, while 47 or so, 

  • heart attack
  • lost my website to lawsuit
  • changed jobs
  • declared bankruptcy
  • coached flag football
  • moderated cloak room

yep, article checks out.

Sorry you had to deal with bitchass parents and a snowcone man. 

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BillyGoatHill

BillyGoatHill 4,312

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1 hour ago, blacklab said:

lets see, while 47 or so, 

  • heart attack
  • lost my website to lawsuit
  • changed jobs
  • declared bankruptcy
  • coached flag football
  • moderated cloak room

yep, article checks out.

Blacklab wins.

At 47, to get out of a shitty climate (at least 9 months of the yr), wanting to move back to Texas, and keep my wife (no pics), I took a pay cut to get a similar job here in ATX. Didn't know it at first, but eventually found out that I worked for the biggest narcissistic asshole in Travis County. Put up with his shit for 10 yrs until he was finally forced into retirement last May. Things have obviously been better without him. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is not coming from a train. 8 months to go before deciding if I want to take retirement check #2. 

Just need the baseball team to return to form and get back to Omaha. Life is good.

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Your Mom

Your Mom 4,806

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Posted

47, divorced, 2 amazing kids who are thriving, doing the job I always wanted, making more than I ever have, working 12 days a month, and a hot girlfriend who treats me better than I deserve. Loving life and excited about my kids’ futures as I see them slowly develop on the horizon.  I go through some unhappy days and then i tell myself to shut the fuck up and I’m happy again. 

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ImissWallyPryor

ImissWallyPryor 9,046

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1 hour ago, Your Mom said:

47, divorced, 2 amazing kids who are thriving, doing the job I always wanted, making more than I ever have, working 12 days a month, and a hot girlfriend who treats me better than I deserve. Loving life and excited about my kids’ futures as I see them slowly develop on the horizon.  I go through some unhappy days and then i tell myself to shut the fuck up and I’m happy again. 

I always thought lesbians were unhappy. 

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Iceman

Iceman 2,715

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9 hours ago, F250 said:

A rule I have always followed in my career is not tolerating a bad boss. Never had any work related stress because of it.

I have had 2 bad bosses in my career.  Both got fired.  LOlz.

I had runs ins with both, but my interactions were not why they got let go.   I wanted to literally kill one of them, as he hurt my career and cost me income.  The lies got exposed, however.  Seems the same behavior they exhibited towards us underlings got projected upward too.  The big boys and girls said, "GTFO."

That was pretty gratifying to know they got fucked up.

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Nice Guy Eddie

Nice Guy Eddie 13,515

Posted
Posted (edited)
9 hours ago, F250 said:

A rule I have always followed in my career is not tolerating a bad boss. Never had any work related stress because of it.

This guy knows good career advice.  I’ve tolerated bad bosses in the past and been miserable. For the last one, when I caught him saying major lie to his boss, I put in my notice a week later. I figured he was lying to everyone including me.

50 here.  Very happy with life. Make more than enough money for my lifestyle and the job is relatively easy. Could do it until I’m 80.  I like the boss and coworkers.  I could earn more elsewhere but the difference isn’t worth the potential hassle. The only way I would leave if I wanted to start something on my own.

edit: I’m sure many unhappy people either don’t fully realize it, or they won’t post about their unhappiness. My only advice is that you have to be a bit selfish here. Don’t live your life to make others happy as in working 70 hours to earn more your family to buy them things. Unless you really enjoy working 70 hours. Make yourself happy and that will spread to others in your life too.

 

Edited by Nice Guy Eddie
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Dbeasy

Dbeasy 15,052

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One other comment I’ll make. Some people just are born with a naturally happier disposition and some people aren’t. Know which category you fall into and if it happens to be the latter, think about that when considering a change. It may be that the change won’t produce any more happiness because of who you are at your core. You may be dissatisfied no matter your circumstances. For example, entrepreneurs are often always fidgety to go solve the next problem.

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Pescado_Rojo

Pescado_Rojo 19,416

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20 hours ago, Storm the Field said:

If I had to guess, 47 is likely an age where lots of men experience some of the following, leading to unhappiness.

  • Career stagnation and/or feeling that it's too late to start a new career if laid off, combined with realization that retirement is still 10+ years away.
  • Kids are aged 10-20 and still financially dependent, leading to constant money worries.
  • Marital discord/lack of sex/resentment of spouse following ~15 years of marriage, if not already divorced.
  • Weight gain, balding/graying hair and realizing that your youth is long behind you.

 

Get out of my head you fucking asshole!! 

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Not a cat

Not a cat 5,658

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4 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

This guy knows good career advice.  I’ve tolerated bad bosses in the past and been miserable. For the last one, when I caught him saying major lie to his boss, I put in my notice a week later. I figured he was lying to everyone including me.

50 here.  Very happy with life. Make more than enough money for my lifestyle and the job is relatively easy. Could do it until I’m 80.  I like the boss and coworkers.  I could earn more elsewhere but the difference isn’t worth the potential hassle. The only way I would leave if I wanted to start something on my own.

edit: I’m sure many unhappy people either don’t fully realize it, or they won’t post about their unhappiness. My only advice is that you have to be a bit selfish here. Don’t live your life to make others happy as in working 70 hours to earn more your family to buy them things. Unless you really enjoy working 70 hours. Make yourself happy and that will spread to others in your life too.

 

This guy fucks.

I've got 3 years left and I'm only doing that because I've got nothing better to do until my son graduates, the job is easy as hell and I like my coworkers.  It helps that my boss knows I can and will haul ass if I ever got unhappy. 

It's very freeing and quite a change from my 20s and 30s where I felt that if I lost my job my family was going to be out on the street.  

Tldr- fuck you money is a lot less than you think if you've got simple tastes.

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Armybrat

Armybrat 40,850

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4 minutes ago, Not a cat said:

This guy fucks.

I've got 3 years left and I'm only doing that because I've got nothing better to do until my son graduates, the job is easy as hell and I like my coworkers.  It helps that my boss knows I can and will haul ass if I ever got unhappy. 

It's very freeing and quite a change from my 20s and 30s where I felt that if I lost my job my family was going to be out on the street.  

Tldr- fuck you money is a lot less than you think if you've got simple tastes.

Cheap hos and box wine?

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Rip76

Rip76 4,928

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On 1/17/2020 at 10:06 AM, Nuge said:

I just turned 48 and got divorced last year.  47 definitely sucked but I feel like things are on their way up.  

A few sage posters on the divorce thread advised me that getting divorced sucks - being divorced is awesome.  I'd have to say I concur.  This is going to be a good year.

Same

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'stache

'stache 21,817

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Sweet, I have 10 more years to descend into further misery until I hit rock bottom. In my early 30's, I somehow developed allergies to every fucking weather change and it makes me fatigued and miserable and makes it almost impossible to work out and train for long runs and cycling events which I thought would help my moods. Just ten more years and things will start to improve, right?

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SydneyCarton

SydneyCarton 48,108

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39 minutes ago, 'stache said:

Sweet, I have 10 more years to descend into further misery until I hit rock bottom. In my early 30's, I somehow developed allergies to every fucking weather change and it makes me fatigued and miserable and makes it almost impossible to work out and train for long runs and cycling events which I thought would help my moods. Just ten more years and things will start to improve, right?

Have you gotten allergy tested? Because pressure changes and shit can be irritating, but they shouldn't be debilitating. Also, you can't be allergic to them. 

Also, how particular is your diet?

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SydneyCarton

SydneyCarton 48,108

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4 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

46.. hate my job, drink myself to sleep every night,  poor, and I pray for the sweet release of death at least once a day.

If it wasnt for my dog I would probably be a news story pretty soon.

 

I mean, that's terrible man. But if you're that unhappy, with no wife and kids, what's stopping you from making just some crazy life changes? It sounds like you could do almost anything in terms of relocation, and if you're already "poor" well fuck, how much worse is life going to get if you decide to move to a beach town in another country and do some other kind of work?

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G650

G650 14,263

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22 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

Have you gotten allergy tested? Because pressure changes and shit can be irritating, but they shouldn't be debilitating. Also, you can't be allergic to them. 

Also, how particular is your diet?

You aren't allergic to just the pressure change, it's all that goes with it. All sorts of allergens are predicated on weather. I have debilitating allergies too, and they morphed from spring to more winter now.

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Nice Guy Eddie

Nice Guy Eddie 13,515

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We spend too much time at work to be miserable. I understand if there is some big payday in a year or two but outside of that, move on.  If that means some downgrading, so be it.

I used to run big projects for not that much more money, and I couldn't leave the work at work.  I recall waking up each morning and start looking forward to going to bed later that night. Now I make 10-15% less at an "easier" role and better company and never happier.  I don't have the same disposable income to burn on vacations or whatever but now I wake up happy to get to work.  50 is much better for me than 45 was.

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BabaYaga

BabaYaga 15,299

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On 1/17/2020 at 3:32 PM, Dbeasy said:

If you are around 45 and contemplating a major career change, I can at least tell you how it worked out for me.

I decide to get out of the industry I had been working in since age 25. My industry was large but had developed certain characteristics that didn’t align with what I wanted out of my life in the future. So, I found a way to other industries.

It was tough because I was making extremely good money and was very high in the corporate ladder. But I did it anyway. For the most part it’s worked out pretty well, and people I left behind who were also my age seem to be fairly unhappy about still being stuck in that industry in their mid-50’s, but now it’s really difficult for some of them to get out because of their age.

I can’t recommend it to everyone, but the thought of being in that industry today makes me shudder. I’m glad I moved my cheese.

The porn industry sucks you in (pun intended).  Good on you.  

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MissingInAction

MissingInAction 25,103

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, SydneyCarton said:

I mean, that's terrible man. But if you're that unhappy, with no wife and kids, what's stopping you from making just some crazy life changes? It sounds like you could do almost anything in terms of relocation, and if you're already "poor" well fuck, how much worse is life going to get if you decide to move to a beach town in another country and do some other kind of work?

The health insurance is what is trapping me. Have a chronic health issue I cant leave unaddressed for an extended period of time.

My boss is an incompetent cunt constantly moving the goal posts. Will lecture me about not doing something then lecture me again two days later for doing what she told me to do.

I spend two hours a day applying for other work.

Edited by MissingInAction
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XYZ

XYZ 2,154

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38 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

The health insurance is what is trapping me. Have a chronic health issue I cant leave unaddressed for an extended period of time.

My boss is an incompetent cunt constantly moving the goal posts. Will lecture me about not doing something then lecture me again two days later for doing what she told me to do.

I spend two hours a day applying for other work.

Hope you can find a better job soon. I’ve had jobs I hated, and it fucking sucks.

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'stache

'stache 21,817

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2 hours ago, SydneyCarton said:

Have you gotten allergy tested? Because pressure changes and shit can be irritating, but they shouldn't be debilitating. Also, you can't be allergic to them. 

Also, how particular is your diet?

I got tested and was told I have a slight allergy to mold. I'm beginning to think it is much stronger than they thought. My diet isn't anything special. When I'm training I try to avoid sugar and refined grains and to eat more fruits and veggies. 

2 hours ago, G650 said:

You aren't allergic to just the pressure change, it's all that goes with it. All sorts of allergens are predicated on weather. I have debilitating allergies too, and they morphed from spring to more winter now.

It's particularly bad when wind comes in and my allergy app warns of "dust." In the last year or so the cold fronts are getting really bad and debilitating.

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BabaYaga

BabaYaga 15,299

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24 minutes ago, 'stache said:

I got tested and was told I have a slight allergy to mold. I'm beginning to think it is much stronger than they thought. My diet isn't anything special. When I'm training I try to avoid sugar and refined grains and to eat more fruits and veggies. 

It's particularly bad when wind comes in and my allergy app warns of "dust." In the last year or so the cold fronts are getting really bad and debilitating.

Might also look into blood work for any latent autoimmune issues?  Many people have them to some extent.  Many times manifesting themselves at a sympomatic level as something else (like allergies, inflammation, arthritis, etc.)

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