Most people reach peak for being miserable around age 47, study suggests (US men = early 50's)

[Iceman 2,805]

1. Cannot imagine my life without our kids, other than probably being a permanent resident of the Texas State Department of Corrections. I made better choices because of them.  Infinitely better...

2. Buff Soldier- I was sincere in asking the questions about why those 'regrets.'  I was not trying to lampoon your feelings, which are obviously very real.  The questions were truly to gain understanding of your perspective.  Personally, I struggle tremendously with how much society says our life should be a certain way or measured by other people's guideposts.  Should I have had sex by age 18?  Should I ever stolen a car?  Should I have ever had an affair?  Truly, that's nobody else's problem, but the dude in the mirror who answers our own question, "Can i live with who I am?"  If you can live with it, and are not hurting anyone else; then that's all that matters, IMHO.

3. I'm still immature as fuck, so there's that piece too.  One thing i remind myself of though, regardless of my shortcomings or failings; there are people in my life who love me dearly.  I got a call this morning from a longtime friend with whom I had not spoken since November.  Turns out the week between Christmas and New Year's he damned near died from the flu.  He's in his early 50's  and his family almost lost him.  It's a reminder: every day, remind those you love what they mean to you.  Call that friend while you have a minute. Remind yourself of the good you have done...  I must admit the Kobe thing is on my heart a lot now, with regard to "the suddenness of life."  I said all of that to get to this:  Stop worrying about what did or didn't happen in the past.  Today counts.  Today is what you control.  Today is how you make things the way you want them.

[SHOOTER12 8,853]

On 1/17/2020 at 11:49 AM, DCA_HORN said:

On 1/17/2020 at 11:32 AM, Storm the Field said:

Jesus, Billy Crystal's character in this movie is 39? He's in his fucking 70's now. He's older than Jack Palance was during filming.

This phenomenon always fucks with. I'll be watching something and Google it or whatever. Oh I am older than James Gandolfini was for most of the Sopranos. Interesting.

 

On 1/17/2020 at 11:59 AM, yoladu said:

This is me too. Kevin Spacey was 40 when he made American Beauty. I remember watching that in 1999 and thinking that is one broken down old man. Now i am 51. Just doesn't seem right.

 

On 1/17/2020 at 12:02 PM, GreenspointTexas said:

Lol at 50 being middle age

 

50 is 2/3 of the way through ur life. Just say “old”, not middle aged

Yeah 50's+ is a rocking although confusing age span, but then again so are the 60's.

Mrs Shooter and I were talking about different actors on television this week saying "damn, they're old now"... only to realize that I'm several years older.  I just don't feel or act like it.  Age is just a state of mind and spirit gentlemen.

[BrazilHorn 6,651]

I just turned 50. I’m in a really good place personally and in regards to work/family etc

I’ve really worked on seeing things through lens of it’s not the issue or thing itself but rather how I am choosing to react to it. 

Doesn’t always work but has been helpful in reducing stress. I’ve also in last couple of months really ramped up going to yoga. Really helpful in just letting shit go, was definitely an adjustment to get back to it but I’m really enjoying it. 
 

Good luck to all the over 50 crowd. 

['stache 21,910]

At 37, one of my weird regrets is that I gave up homebrewing just before craft beer blew up. I decided it was frivolous and I needed to focus on work and my young marriage. If I had been paying attention and seen what brewing was to become, I likely could have pursued the right relationships, expanded my skills, and gone into the industry. I was the perfect age to take the risk. Maybe I would have failed, but I would have really enjoyed giving it a go. I'm currently thinking through some ways to make money in a way that doesn't involve an office, billable hours, and unreasonable clients. But with student loans, mortgage, young kids, and everything that goes with it, I have to be pretty risk averse. I'm not so unhappy with my job that I need to leave, but I'm not particularly happy or fulfilled and hope to find something as either a side hussle or full time change.

[G650 14,302]

1 hour ago, FondrenRoad said:

For me, both of these things are accurate. Life was certainly more personally rewarding before I had a kid and included more personal growth. Being a parent can be completely exhausting, and has also made me more risk averse when it comes to career and life choices than I had been before. Parenthood isn't without it's fun moments too though.  But it does fundamentally change you since someone else's existence becomes more important to you than your own, and that is both the scariest and greatest thing ever. 

 

No doubt. I would never say that having a kid is always great, because fuck knows that ain't the case. It's the hardest thing I've ever done by a factor of infinity.

But it's definitely the best to me, and has made me the best version of myself.

 

1 hour ago, FondrenRoad said:

Part of the issue is that we still look at adulthood through the same eyes we did as a child. As a child, you think adults have life all figured out.  That you come of age at a certain phase of life and are an adult afterward.  The real truth is that we are all still children, are all still growing, and are all still coming of age mentally. It's never too late for growth.

Yeah, and this. I still look around and wait for some to be like "who let this kid be in charge?" I'm not sure that feeling ever really goes away. On the flip side, it changed the dynamic I have with my parents and other elders completely, for better and worse, as I know they are just fumbling their way along like I am.

[Helobious 9,505]

I’m only in my 20s, but I’ll try to one up the regret-stricken squares in this thread. Not only have I never been arrested, I’ve only gotten pulled over by a cop once in my whole life. He let me off without a warning or a ticket. I’ve never even tried an illicit drug, I hardly drink and have never truly gotten drunk before. Zero regrets about any of it. I’ve been called lame and boring for being that way for years, but it never made me change how I wanted to live my life. Growing up I saw all those vices destroy people, I saw relatives & friends get arrested and all the stress it put on their loved ones, and I just knew none of that was for me. 

[SHOOTER12 8,853]

On 1/18/2020 at 2:02 AM, Scooter Monzingo said:

I bought a lot of expensive cars at 47. Seemed to work for me. 

 

On 1/18/2020 at 9:46 AM, Armybrat said:

I bought a used MGB. Fml

I bought my Vette at 44, so at least I was in the neighborhood...

[po elvis 2,091]

44 minutes ago, Helobious said:

I’m only in my 20s...

fuck off

[MissingInAction 25,311]

1 hour ago, Helobious said:

I’m only in my 20s, but I’ll try to one up the regret-stricken squares in this thread. Not only have I never been arrested, I’ve only gotten pulled over by a cop once in my whole life. He let me off without a warning or a ticket. I’ve never even tried an illicit drug, I hardly drink and have never truly gotten drunk before. Zero regrets about any of it. I’ve been called lame and boring for being that way for years, but it never made me change how I wanted to live my life. Growing up I saw all those vices destroy people, I saw relatives & friends get arrested and all the stress it put on their loved ones, and I just knew none of that was for me. 

You haven't lived long enough to develop any real regrets. It's only when one's certain mortality begins to loom closer that true introspection begins. It hit me when friends and loved ones began dying off. The realization hits that there are lot of things you want to do, but not enough time to do it. That or you are still paying for mistakes you made in your youth which are preventing from fulfilling those missed opportunities.

[Helobious 9,505]

1 hour ago, po elvis said:

fuck off

Lol ok boomer.

[TwiceHorn 31,686]

1 hour ago, Helobious said:

I’m only in my 20s, but I’ll try to one up the regret-stricken squares in this thread. Not only have I never been arrested, I’ve only gotten pulled over by a cop once in my whole life. He let me off without a warning or a ticket. I’ve never even tried an illicit drug, I hardly drink and have never truly gotten drunk before. Zero regrets about any of it. I’ve been called lame and boring for being that way for years, but it never made me change how I wanted to live my life. Growing up I saw all those vices destroy people, I saw relatives & friends get arrested and all the stress it put on their loved ones, and I just knew none of that was for me. 

Avoiding the chemicals is/was a wise choice.  It's the only sure way to avoid addiction.  If you've had mental health struggles, far better to avoid self-medication and deal with them without the complication of potential addiction.

[troph 24,929]

Lol ok boomer.

Anyone in the twenties using the phrase “zero regrets” is well, someone in their twenties. Get to your mid forties and realize not only will you die but it’s not that far off and that life is great but it’s finite and full of a heaping shit ton of mundane, that the to do list of life will stack up on you, the stress of managing whatever you have to manage will wear you down big time, your body falls apart you can’t do what you used to you can’t always rely on waking up feeling rested, and if you’re lucky you won’t have an unexpected loss but most of us do and face a mid life moment where you really wonder if you have the energy to get back up. Man the energy and stamina of my youth is gone. Like completely gone. That will pummel you if you rely on it now. Goals start to wane and frankly if you’re lucky you trade it for comfort in who you are and knowing what works for you and doesn’t. But God help you if you haven’t figured it out by then because that’s really the only silver lining of mid life juxtaposed to the beginning of the breakdown. And as miserable as I sound I actually have it made pretty damn well. Still it can be a total beat down. And by the time you’re fifty? If you don’t have a major regret that can keep you up at night then you haven’t lived really at all. And all of that messes with the head of a newcomer to mid life. Good for you you don’t drink or smoke, but that’s not really what he’s talking about, he’s said as much. Man you have a lot of miles to go before you know shit from shinola. So walk right off with that boomer disrespect. Besides I think po is like most of us old people here, he’s a disgruntled x’er I’m pretty sure.    

 

[Sbbruin 21,912]

2 hours ago, Helobious said:

Not only have I never been arrested, I’ve only gotten pulled over by a cop once in my whole life. 

lol

[G650 14,302]

42 minutes ago, Helobious said:

Lol ok boomer.

Are there any actual boomers on this site?

[G650 14,302]

5 minutes ago, troph said:

he’s a disgruntled x’er I’m pretty sure.

Aren't we all

[troph 24,929]

Aren't we all

Except on the boat fanatic thread. :-)

[XYZ 2,154]

I prefer the term “cynical motherfucker” (copyright troph).

[troph 24,929]

I’m trying to work on my language these days xyz, I’m really trying. 

[BabaYaga 15,379]

2 hours ago, G650 said:

No doubt. I would never say that having a kid is always great, because fuck knows that ain't the case. It's the hardest thing I've ever done by a factor of infinity.

But it's definitely the best to me, and has made me the best version of myself.

Same.  What keep me from getting too spun up is rememebering that being a kid is hard too.  Every family grows together.  That's what family means.  We tell our kids that we don't have all the answers.  Nobody does.  But we damn sure will do our best to figure this out.  

Quote

Yeah, and this. I still look around and wait for some to be like "who let this kid be in charge?" I'm not sure that feeling ever really goes away. On the flip side, it changed the dynamic I have with my parents and other elders completely, for better and worse, as I know they are just fumbling their way along like I am.

Fumbling or not, to me it's about stepping up and embracing the moment.  Someone has to do it.  Some children have this forced upon them when a parent passes.  Some young parents have to deal with it.  It's about something more than yourself.  It's a responsibility I never knew until I had children.  

[G650 14,302]

2 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

Fumbling or not, to me it's about stepping up and embracing the moment.  Someone has to do it.  Some children have this forced upon them when a parent passes.  Some young parents have to deal with it.  It's about something more than yourself.  It's a responsibility I never knew until I had children.  

100%

[workswithseed 2,140]

It'll be weird when I turn 47 to look at this and think yeah or nah on this whole thing. 

If I'm able to and remember.

[gernblansten 3,200]

On 1/30/2020 at 1:08 PM, Buffsoldier said:

46.  A good job.  A good second job.  An amazing daughter, and an equally amazing girlfriend.

And I'm completely miserable right now.  Of course, that's because of an existential crisis that hit me in the face like a sledgehammer....swung from the Concorde.

3 weeks ago the girlfriend told me something about her past that was like the last puzzle piece needed to figure out what the picture is, when you don't have the box.  I've been fed little bits of data over the past 20-30 years and this was the last thing that tied them all together.  It became clear that the number of what I'd consider common experiences that a large percentage, if not most, of the population has...... I don't.  And the self confidence I had on who I was, how I fit into the universe around me, how big and complete my list of life experiences are is gone.  It feels akin to believing, knowing, that you're in a 10x10 room, and then someone turned on some the lights and you find out that you're in a 500,000 SF warehouse.  It's jarring and terrifying.  I now feel incredibly small, woefully inadequate, and shockingly incomplete as a person. This has been as impactful on my psyche as my Dad's death 21 years ago.

I've actually started seeing a therapist for it.  She confirmed that it's an existential crisis, and not a run of the mill mid-life one.  Somehow that's comforting that it's really as big a deal, to me, as I think it is.  She also said that it's gonna be a long process, which I already kinda knew before I even reached out to her.  And she said that this is an "opportunity for tremendous personal growth."  Right now it sure as hell doesn't feel like it.

 

I would understand your reluctance, but I think it'd be helpful to know what the girlfriend told you that has you feeling the way you feel.

[crash_davis 23,159]

the first sign of being lost is comparing your life to other people's and feeling bad from some arbitrary "shortcomings".

here's what i've learned and am still learning.

life is not a sanctioned race or sporting event. there are no points awarded and very few rules. you make the rules along the way. and the rules are usually defined by what you find important to you at the time. as you age, the rules, however few there are, are perpetually changing. you're always going to lose the imaginary race if you try to play by someone else's rules, specifically, comparing your life's work to others' "achievements". there's always going to be people with "more" and people with "less". some people can be born on a bed of roses, roll around in pig shit, and come out smelling like roses. others can be born in pig shit and have more pig shit piled on them regardless of what they do or don't do. no rhyme or reason to any of it. 

life is half luck. you can't control the luck part. you can control the other half, which is how you live your life, what you hold important, how you act as a human being, how you treat others especially family.

if everything's still confusing, then simplify it. dont' be a dick and act with love in your heart. if you can do those two things the majority of the time, you'll have a memorable and meaningful life.

or even simpler, when you are on your death bed and are remembering your life, what are you going to regret the most? then live today and the rest of days to try to reduce those regrets.

Edited January 31, 2020 by crash_davis

[TwiceHorn 31,686]

36 minutes ago, G650 said:

Aren't we all

So much so that "disgruntled x-er" is redundant.

[Helobious 9,505]

1 hour ago, troph said:

Anyone in the twenties using the phrase “zero regrets” is well, someone in their twenties. Get to your mid forties and realize not only will you die but it’s not that far off and that life is great but it’s finite and full of a heaping shit ton of mundane, that the to do list of life will stack up on you, the stress of managing whatever you have to manage will wear you down big time, your body falls apart you can’t do what you used to you can’t always rely on waking up feeling rested, and if you’re lucky you won’t have an unexpected loss but most of us do and face a mid life moment where you really wonder if you have the energy to get back up. Man the energy and stamina of my youth is gone. Like completely gone. That will pummel you if you rely on it now. Goals start to wane and frankly if you’re lucky you trade it for comfort in who you are and knowing what works for you and doesn’t. But God help you if you haven’t figured it out by then because that’s really the only silver lining of mid life juxtaposed to the beginning of the breakdown. And as miserable as I sound I actually have it made pretty damn well. Still it can be a total beat down. And by the time you’re fifty? If you don’t have a major regret that can keep you up at night then you haven’t lived really at all. And all of that messes with the head of a newcomer to mid life. Good for you you don’t drink or smoke, but that’s not really what he’s talking about, he’s said as much. Man you have a lot of miles to go before you know shit from shinola. So walk right off with that boomer disrespect. Besides I think po is like most of us old people here, he’s a disgruntled x’er I’m pretty sure.    

 

 I meant “zero regrets” about my chosen lifestyle. Of course there’s other things I wish I’d done different, but I try not to live in “what if” world. Kind of a pointless exercise.

And don’t get your panties in a wad. My middle school aged cousin calls me boomer, I have a coworker 2 days older than me that I call boomer. If you were cool and young you’d know the joke I guess.

[G650 14,302]

Yeah, we get the joke. But we are Gen X and just as happy to burn your house down than look at you.

[MissingInAction 25,311]

1 hour ago, G650 said:

Yeah, we get the joke. But we are Gen X and just as happy to burn your house down than look at you.

I've burned things down , so this hits close to home. 

 

Well good news gents. Found out today why my boss has been such a raging cunt the past 6 months: She is preggers. So there is an end in site, which makes me happy.

Edited January 31, 2020 by MissingInAction

[Pablo 495]

46 here, no kids, good job, good money, good friends i work with, boss isn't a douche and respects me; personal and work life i can't complain about

however, been married for 19 years, but just caught my wife cheating for the 2nd time or more that i'm aware of.  Not having this happen again, so divorce is looming.  Trying to figure out finances and our apartment lease doesn't end for 10 months.  Guess i need to start hitting that divorce thread up.

 

[Iceman 2,805]

No kids and just a lease?

seems pretty simplified right off the top...

[DaysOff 8,005]

I'm a 53 year old man child. I feel like such a fraud sometimes I fear no one would climb in the back of the plane if I was ever found out. I've never done anything on Buff's list either, but come my 65th bday/ retirement party...off to the High thread.

[Pablo 495]

11 minutes ago, Iceman said:

No kids and just a lease?

seems pretty simplified right off the top...

yeah, i agree, but there's a lot of guilt for me to kick her to the curb.  thinking about getting a place by myself to get away.  it's amicable now, but I'd feel better without her around all the time.  at least i don't care if she's doing something somewhere else

[crash_davis 23,159]

37 minutes ago, Pablo said:

yeah, i agree, but there's a lot of guilt for me to kick her to the curb.  thinking about getting a place by myself to get away.  it's amicable now, but I'd feel better without her around all the time.  at least i don't care if she's doing something somewhere else

guilt because she accidentally on purpose fell on 2 or more guys' dick?

 

[Not a cat 5,739]

Yeah, what crash said. 

No kids, second time cheating, this should be a piece of cake as far as divorced go.  Unless you were literally pimping her out I can't see how you get any guilt.  If you're truly feeling that, go read "no more Mr. Nice guy". 

[workswithseed 2,140]

1 hour ago, DaysOff said:

I'm a 53 year old man child. I feel like such a fraud sometimes I fear no one would climb in the back of the plane if I was ever found out. I've never done anything on Buff's list either, but come my 65th bday/ retirement party...off to the High thread.

Aren't you high most of the time? At least a mile high.

[MissingInAction 25,311]

51 minutes ago, Pablo said:

yeah, i agree, but there's a lot of guilt for me to kick her to the curb.  thinking about getting a place by myself to get away.  it's amicable now, but I'd feel better without her around all the time.  at least i don't care if she's doing something somewhere else

I'd be happy to take pics while I give her a clevlenad steamer to help with the divorce proceedings.

[Dbeasy 15,235]

At 37, one of my weird regrets is that I gave up homebrewing just before craft beer blew up. I decided it was frivolous and I needed to focus on work and my young marriage. If I had been paying attention and seen what brewing was to become, I likely could have pursued the right relationships, expanded my skills, and gone into the industry. I was the perfect age to take the risk. Maybe I would have failed, but I would have really enjoyed giving it a go. I'm currently thinking through some ways to make money in a way that doesn't involve an office, billable hours, and unreasonable clients. But with student loans, mortgage, young kids, and everything that goes with it, I have to be pretty risk averse. I'm not so unhappy with my job that I need to leave, but I'm not particularly happy or fulfilled and hope to find something as either a side hussle or full time change.

Side note. In 1999 I was in Idaho and toured a microbrewery owned by a family friend. I was looking at the time for a new entrepreneurial venture to pursue and thought the microbrewery concept was incredible. However I decided to pass because I though I was too late to enter the industry. What an incredibly stupid conclusion I drew.

[Armybrat 41,005]

5 hours ago, G650 said:

Are there any actual boomers on this site?

Not me.

[G650 14,302]

Just now, Armybrat said:

Not me.

Yeah my tally is 89% Gen X, 10.99% millennial, and one silent generation

[Armybrat 41,005]

Some of my contemporaries here are really silent.

[troph 24,929]

 I meant “zero regrets” about my chosen lifestyle. Of course there’s other things I wish I’d done different, but I try not to live in “what if” world. Kind of a pointless exercise.

And don’t get your panties in a wad. My middle school aged cousin calls me boomer, I have a coworker 2 days older than me that I call boomer. If you were cool and young you’d know the joke I guess.

 

My fourteen year old says I’m stupid and I don’t get it either. Take that for what it’s worth.

[Iceman 2,805]

44 minutes ago, troph said:

 

My fourteen year old says I’m stupid and I don’t get it either. Take that for what it’s worth.

LOlz.  You'll start regaining your IQ points( in the opinion of your children) in their early 20's.

It is glorious.

Until then, you'll be dumber than a bag of hammers to them...  enjoy.

[Patricio Swayze 17,058]

Hmmm...trying to decide how much I really want to say. I am 43, so still have a few years until peak unhappiness supposedly. I can say this, had you told me where I would be at 43 to 23 year old me, I would have laughed and laughed and laughed. Then laughed some more.

I was in my last semester at UT and about to embark on a bumpy career in the music industry. No real desire to be married or have kids. But, here I am, 12 years into a career in the oil and gas industry (like my father and what I swore I would never do), married with two kids and a mortgage in the burbs.

I suppose I can’t complain, things could be much, much worse. But I am human, so I will complain. I suppose my greatest challenge and greatest accomplishment are my two daughters. I truly believe without them, I more than likely would be dead.

I do have a lot of regrets, mostly about how much energy I put into my first career in music. I could have done so much better if I had worked harder at it.

But when I lay out all my “accomplishments”, my life seems rather full. Two degrees from UT, owned two businesses (a recording studio and a record label). That record label sold music all over the world. Didn’t make me any money but it’s cool that I was part of it. What else...lived in another country, self published a book, was in a movie (documentary), have had photos I have taken published, sold dozens of prints, hold a purple belt in Brazilian jiu jitsu, speak a few languages, blah blah blah. And yet, I still feel largely unfulfilled.

These days photography is probably the thing that keeps me the happiest (besides my kids when they aren’t driving me crazy). So I try to do that as much as possible.

I need to go back and read some of this thread as I can’t recall exactly why the substance use thing came up. But it’s funny, I never smoked weed until I was 30. I didn’t have a drop of alcohol between 17 and 30. Still to this day I have never been so drunk that I threw up. I have no regrets about any of that. I am glad I didn’t party in college. With my personality, I probably would have flunked out.

[BabaYaga 15,379]

15 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:

But when I lay out all my “accomplishments”, my life seems rather full. Two degrees from UT, owned two businesses (a recording studio and a record label). That record label sold music all over the world. Didn’t make me any money but it’s cool that I was part of it. What else...lived in another country, self published a book, was in a movie (documentary), have had photos I have taken published, sold dozens of prints, hold a purple belt in Brazilian jiu jitsu, speak a few languages, blah blah blah. And yet, I still feel largely unfulfilled.

Same.  Two undergrad degrees and a Masters.  Owned a business soon after college.  Took to ultimately to NY where it fell apart.  Two kids and a wife.  As we get older, our mortality sets in.  Seeing this in so many of my friends and neighbors, this quote has never been more apt:

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things..”

We all face our own demons.  What's helped me is to try and constantly reinvent myself.  Seek our things that are difficult.  Get comfortable being uncomfortable.  Working out.  BJJ.  Rucking.  Coding.  Learn Mandarin.  Whatever it is.  Push yourself beyond what you thought you could do.  Then push harder.  Don't do it for your kids.  Or your wife.  Fucking do it for YOU.  

[troph 24,929]

Same.  Two undergrad degrees and a Masters.  Owned a business soon after college.  Took to ultimately to NY where it fell apart.  Two kids and a wife.  As we get older, our mortality sets in.  Seeing this in so many of my friends and neighbors, this quote has never been more apt:
“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things..”
We all face our own demons.  What's helped me is to try and constantly reinvent myself.  Seek our things that are difficult.  Get comfortable being uncomfortable.  Working out.  BJJ.  Rucking.  Coding.  Learn Mandarin.  Whatever it is.  Push yourself beyond what you thought you could do.  Then push harder.  Don't do it for your kids.  Or your wife.  Fucking do it for YOU.  

I love this. Thank you.

[G650 14,302]

4 hours ago, BabaYaga said:

Seek our things that are difficult.  Get comfortable being uncomfortable. 

To me, modern culture's biggest failing is people by and large avoid this at all costs.

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

On 1/31/2020 at 1:34 PM, gernblansten said:

I would understand your reluctance, but I think it'd be helpful to know what the girlfriend told you that has you feeling the way you feel.

she did two chicks at the same time

[NeverMarryAStripper 22,030]

Hopefully I’m peaking in my misery now. Otherwise I’m not looking forward to the future.

[BabaYaga 15,379]

19 minutes ago, G650 said:

To me, modern culture's biggest failing is people by and large avoid this at all costs.

#conquereyourinnerbitch

[SydneyCarton 48,314]

On 1/30/2020 at 10:48 PM, Buffsoldier said:

This I wholeheartedly agree with.  There's no set script that EVERYONE has to follow, but if there's not a reasonable enough overlap with the experiences, it's hard to fit in, it's hard (or at least much harder) to engage with my friends, peers and loved ones, and it's much harder to simply relate to them, and for them to relate to me.

And this I do not.  Yes, the picture for me is different, but the list is SO MUCH SMALLER as to make it incomplete for what should be an adult in the world I've been occupying as an adult.  Small enough that it makes the above fitting in/engagement/relating really fucking difficult.  The picture I have, now, after the lights have come on, is smaller, and there's holes all over it.  I thought it was a nice 8"x10", and it's a wallet size that a toddler went to work on with a hole punch.

This may sound like a joke, but I'm actually being serious here.  Think of it like this: I for the longest time have been thinking that I've been on the same level as all of you because we're all football fans, and we've all been football fans for the entirety of our adult lives.  Now the lights are partially on and I'm finding out that I'm a Colorado football fan while the rest of you are Texas football fans.  Do you really think I have the background, the depth of experiences and depth of memories of CU Football to participate on an equal footing with the rest of you?  Do you think, legitimately speaking, that the rest of you as a collective, will then treat me the same as you treat each other?  Or will you as a collective treat me as that child that brags on something they've done?  "I've got a Heisman winner too!"  "Oh, that's nice dear.  Hey, have you seen the new swingset in the backyard?  You should go check it out."

That's the world I woke up and realized I'm in now.  I'm woefully short on experiences to be participating with my friends, peers and even loved ones now.

Realize I'm a couple days late on the reply and you've signed off, but maybe you'll see this later. The part I've bolded above is bullshit, man. We're a board of assholes, but generally speaking outside of good natured ribbingt to people, no one is really going to give a shit or consider equal of unequal footing based off of experience. Yes, we'd treat you the same.

The ultimate goal in life is to be happy, and man it sounds like you were happy before you found out you've missed some experiences. I believe the phrase in sports is not to let the same game beat you twice. I think this really applies here to you.  If you were happy before you found out that you're not as worldly as some other folks, then don't let learning you aren't get in the way of the one thing you had, and the one thing everyone is seeking: happiness. Being content. Don't overthink it. Which I realize is like telling someone terrified of flying not to be scared because it is statistically safe. But I think it's worth considering anyway my man.