Dumbass Shit on Nextdoor

[MAUFRAIS 6642]

I have had several honing pigeons in the past and could use a new one as my knives are getting dull.

[Judge Roybeanbag 11821]

This is more funny than dumb.  In immamac’s and my neighborhood.

I am away On vacation out of the country, but my ranch helper) is in site of this poor deer with a bucket or something on its head. Can someone call Texas Game Warden or a DEER rescuer for me? It is on our property at 12209 Trautwein or 15000 Fitzhugh (Austin Stables) which meet via the pipeline.

 

 

[G650 14278]

On 7/24/2019 at 4:11 PM, Armybrat said:

I just got a laugh reading some neighborhood ninnies whining & crying about a developer cutting down a bunch of trees (tree murderer!) to build a new neighborhood close to ours by Brushy Creek. Someone had to ask them what was the difference between that developer and the ones who built all their houses here 15-25 years ago.

Dumbasses.

That was our biggest blow up this year on our nextdoor as well

[justhookit 4191]

3 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

This is more funny than dumb.  In immamac’s and my neighborhood.

I am away On vacation out of the country, but my ranch helper) is in site of this poor deer with a bucket or something on its head. Can someone call Texas Game Warden or a DEER rescuer for me? It is on our property at 12209 Trautwein or 15000 Fitzhugh (Austin Stables) which meet via the pipeline.

 

 

reply that the deer just had a visit to the vet.

[Judge Roybeanbag 11821]

I figured it’s arming itself for November.   

[jimmyjazz 46242]

Deer have to be near the bottom when it comes to "IQ" or whatever it might be called for US mammals.  One year we had a buck roaming our neighborhood for weeks trailing a long string of Christmas lights, and the next year two bucks got their antlers tangled while fighting and spent more than a day walking around like siamese deer until COA animal control could get them separated.  (Speaking of jobs I would never want . . .)

[Incredulity 11683]

55 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

Deer have to be near the bottom when it comes to "IQ" or whatever it might be called for US mammals.  One year we had a buck roaming our neighborhood for weeks trailing a long string of Christmas lights, and the next year two bucks got their antlers tangled while fighting and spent more than a day walking around like siamese deer until COA animal control could get them separated.  (Speaking of jobs I would never want . . .)

Until hunting season.  Then those fuckers are genius masters of evasion.

[Trey3216 15376]

24 minutes ago, Incredulity said:

Until hunting season.  Then those fuckers are genius masters of evasion.

Yep, all the bucks I see are during doe season.  Fuckers  

[Armybrat 40920]

There’s nothing as surly as sitting in the blind for hours in the early morning without spotting anything more than a possum, then driving away from the ranch and almost running into a herd of a dozen on the county road.

[High Plains Drifter 11052]

1 hour ago, Incredulity said:

Until hunting season.  Then those fuckers are genius masters of evasion.

 

They can't be too dumb. They know to migrate into town during deer season. At least around my parts.

[jimmyjazz 46242]

2 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

They can't be too dumb. They know to migrate into town during deer season. At least around my parts.

They can't even migrate away from a moving vehicle.  I think the one's "in town" were pretty much there the whole year.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21947]

I hit one of the dumb fuckers last year that jumped out onto 71 on the way to the West Virginia game.  Fucked up my car really good and the stupid fucker just got up and ran away.  Only good part about it was that I didn't end up going to the game.

[Homesickhorn 2208]

reply that the deer just had a visit to the vet.

And post this as a follow up saying, “Update: Deer is at the vet, and they’re very optimistic”!!

[immortal13 4059]

10 hours ago, jimmyjazz said:

Deer have to be near the bottom when it comes to "IQ" or whatever it might be called for US mammals.  One year we had a buck roaming our neighborhood for weeks trailing a long string of Christmas lights, and the next year two bucks got their antlers tangled while fighting and spent more than a day walking around like siamese deer until COA animal control could get them separated.  (Speaking of jobs I would never want . . .)

Whitetail bucks fight because it's instinctual and part of their mating process. It has nothing to do with their intelligence 

[Trey3216 15376]

1 hour ago, immortal13 said:

Whitetail bucks fight because it's instinctual and part of their mating process. It has nothing to do with their intelligence 

 

1 hour ago, immortal13 said:

Whitetail bucks fight because it's instinctual and part of their mating process. It has nothing to do with their intelligence 

[DallasHorn26 586]

This was posted in my hood earlier.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21947]

I think he’s looking for a Polish woman to polish his knob

[Judge Roybeanbag 11821]

You should reply that you had a great one, but you accidentally used too much Polish remover and now she's gone.

[ABSR 5325]

5 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

You should reply that you had a great one, but you accidentally used too much Polish remover and now she's gone.

Polish remover?  I think the proper pronunciation is Germans.

[deft 6887]

Blitzkrieg!

[Wiler77 1577]

I love how she throws in "if they could take care of the kids that would be great".

 

Uh, lady, you're looking for a Polish nanny that will also clean your house.  I don't think you just leave the kids with the housekeeper.  Well, maybe Polish ones you do.  But who has ever heard of a Polish housekeeper?

[Homesickhorn 2208]

Peeps who live Poland probably run across one or two every once in a while.

[G650 14278]

I'm legit cracking up right now

[NeverMarryAStripper 21947]

My brother had a polish nanny when his kids were little and she cleaned his house because his wife was lazy and they were both slobs

[tbone_ 14188]

Left alone with big fat Fanny
She was such a naughty nanny
Heap big woman, you made a bad boy out of me

[Blotto 23584]

45 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

Heap big woman

yup. its time to start working that phrase into my personal lexicon. 

[Okie State 3848]

Too late on the timing. Was at the Polish festival last weekend. I could have asked around.

[ABSR 5325]

12 hours ago, tbone_ said:

Left alone with big fat Fanny Franciszka
She was such a naughty cleaning nanny
Heap big woman, you made a bad polished boy out of me

Fixed it.

[Baboontyme 2825]

I'm here for the Clayton/Lacy E Texas drama. Can someone catch me up por favor.

[irishtexan 11522]

BestofNextDoor twitter has a recap. That's a great follow

[Bullneck 19216]

I got a letter yesterday inviting me to become part of my local Nextdoor community.  They have news and information on "police and public safety" issues.  

[Okie State 3848]

New post titled GOD BLESS AMERICA this morning.

"I sure hope this doesn't turn into bunch of political crap.
THANK YOU PRES. TRUMP & THE BRAVE MEN & WOMEN OF OUR MILITARY.
Together they have made the United States & the world a safer place today.
GOD BLESS AMERICA !!!"

This should go well.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

On 10/27/2019 at 11:07 AM, Okie State said:

New post titled GOD BLESS AMERICA this morning.

"I sure hope this doesn't turn into bunch of political crap.
THANK YOU PRES. TRUMP & THE BRAVE MEN & WOMEN OF OUR MILITARY.
Together they have made the United States & the world a safer place today.
GOD BLESS AMERICA !!!"

This should go well.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

On 10/27/2019 at 7:52 AM, Bullneck said:

I got a letter yesterday inviting me to become part of my local Nextdoor community.  They have news and information on "police and public safety" issues.  

AKA Help us spot the people that shouldn't be in our neighborhood.

And coyote debates.

[Trey3216 15376]

6 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

AKA Help us spot the people that shouldn't be in our neighborhood.

And coyote debates.

Don’t forget “rat snake or king cobra”.  
 

and I hear lots of guns going off (sept 1st).  Who will think of the children!?

Edited October 28, 2019 by Trey3216

[Okie State 3848]

Went about how you'd expect.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

Reads like the CR.

[Okie State 3848]

[Okie State 3848]

[Okie State 3848]

[elfenix 34339]

unincorporated harris county holla!

Edited October 28, 2019 by elfenix

[Trey3216 15376]

This is nice.gif 

[Okie State 3848]

I like Todd Read. He regularly calls out morons in our neighborhood.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

12 minutes ago, Okie State said:

I like Todd Read. He regularly calls out morons in our neighborhood.

"Todd Read you are the tool"

-Russ Mass

[Bullneck 19216]

47 minutes ago, elfenix said:

unincorporated harris county holla!

God, that was a beating to read.  I'm guessing the Venn diagram of those posters and TexAgs is a perfect circle.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

When I was a kid, I used to think Mark Twain was too cynical about the average person. Now, he seems kinda cute and cuddly about 'em.

[Okie State 3848]

God, that was a beating to read.  I'm guessing the Venn diagram of those posters and TexAgs is a perfect circle.

This is why I'm friends with exactly zero of my neighbors. Well that and, in general, I don't like people.

[Okie State 3848]

40 more posts since I uploaded those screenshots. Amazing.

[tbone_ 14188]

Giving everyone a voice through technology will be the end of civilization.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

5 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

Giving everyone a voice through technology will be the end of civilization.