Dumbass Shit on Nextdoor

[Lone Star Horn 2016]

10 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

Terri should have just kicked that fucking dog into the water. I bet it would have bothered her again.

My thought was that she should have kicked the inattentive dog owner into the water.

[jimmyjazz 45898]

I bet that dog would have fit nicely on a treble hook.

[Baern214 3]

[Newdoc 3439]

2 minutes ago, Baern214 said:

You can hire that service out or buy personal trimmers at Walmart or on Amazon. They sure aren’t shy in West Plano.

.

[Celery Man 20934]

Recommend a place that does a good Brazilian wax

[SKJ 1311]

On 5/20/2018 at 10:45 PM, FriendofaFriend said:

Guy is looking to have his bitch get humped for pleasure, only wants male dogs with vasectomies

So, he wants to bury a dog, or hit it with a shovel?

Or he's talking about only a spayed dog?

I mean, he seems so smart and all 

[Gardner Barnes 1562]

Maybe we should get that person with this person who wants to “take pictures of dogs”

[Trey3216 15346]

Perhaps it was an insurance inspector seeing if she lied about having a Rottweiler in the house.  

Edited May 29, 2018 by Trey3216

[Jerry Callo 8700]

On 5/26/2018 at 11:06 PM, Baern214 said:

Perineal garden is easily the euphemism of the day.

[Longhornfan1024 1707]

There's a great bikers vs. drivers argument currently ongoing on my Nexdoor because some lady had to move into the left lane to get around two bikers who were riding in the right lane on Jollyville.   

[EE2B 1565]

This one just got posted by someone near me:
Can someone now my yard for a reasonable price? Also who can I call about snakes inside my home?

[Buffsoldier 1895]

"Yes, I can now your yard, for most reasonable price."

And then this:

Edited May 29, 2018 by Buffsoldier

[irishtexan 11516]

Quote

Doves

Good Evening Neighbors, My tortoise decided to visit the our Dove Aviary and left the gate open. My white doves have gone on the fly by Westgate area. They are NOT pigeons. If you can catch them(they are harmless) please contact me. They will be easy fodder for our hawks in our area. They do not know any better and probably can't fly long distances. Thank You,

For folks down in South Austin who are out there trapping birds.

Also, damn tortoise opening gates...

[Jerry Callo 8700]

White doves taste just like mourning doves when wrapped in bacon.  Just sayin.

Edited May 30, 2018 by Jerry Callo
adding a "u" so I don't get called out for being illiterate

[irishtexan 11516]

Who keeps birds as pets? 

[You don't know me 1161]

3 minutes ago, irishtexan said:

Who keeps birds as pets? 

Pirates, duh.

[The University 851]

guess i'm lucky--my taint's underbrush was just a biennial.

[Judge Roybeanbag 11819]

I'll keep an eye out for them.

[SKJ 1311]

Well, pigeons are doves, so get you some squab.

It tastes like chicken

[woohorn 1131]

Who keeps birds as pets? 

Magicians

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

But not for long. They keep disappearing. 

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

So there is a foot massage place in a strip center a couple of blocks away from my neighborhood. Not uncommon for Houston, especially hoods with high Asian populations. This busy body is trying to shut one down, although he has no real evidence it’s a rub and tug. Could be legitimate. Anyways, this exchange got a chuckle out of me.

[Gardner Barnes 1562]

Magicians

[Gardner Barnes 1562]

So there is a foot massage place in a strip center a couple of blocks away from my neighborhood. Not uncommon for Houston, especially hoods with high Asian populations. This busy body is trying to shut one down, although he has no real evidence it’s a rub and tug. Could be legitimate. Anyways, this exchange got a chuckle out of me.

I like Zach. Nextdoor needs more surly.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

17 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:

So there is a foot massage place in a strip center a couple of blocks away from my neighborhood. Not uncommon for Houston, especially hoods with high Asian populations. This busy body is trying to shut one down, although he has no real evidence it’s a rub and tug. Could be legitimate. Anyways, this exchange got a chuckle out of me.

 

I have a lady on my feed that does this daily. It's her personal vendetta to shut down every massage place in town because she thinks they are all rub-n-tugs. 

I think her husband must have been caught with a prostitute or something. Or her dad. Or her mom. Who knows.

[bularry1 23]

those foot massage places are everywhere near me (Sugar Land) and yes high Asian population in the area.   

[MAUFRAIS 6623]

I have a lady on my feed that does this daily. It's her personal vendetta to shut down every massage place in town because she thinks they are all rub-n-tugs. 
I think her husband must have been caught with a prostitute or something. Or her dad. Or her mom. Who knows.

[utee94 15811]

Zach is a fantastic troll.  Well done, Patrick Swayze.  I mean, Zach.

[Beau Vine 54210]

1 hour ago, SKJ said:

Well, pigeons are doves, so get you some squab.

It tastes like chicken

[Viper 12108]

those foot massage places are everywhere near me (Sugar Land) and yes high Asian population in the area.   

I'm pretty sure the foot places are the ones that are actually legit.

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

I'm pretty sure the foot places are the ones that are actually legit.

No doubt there are legitimate ones, but several have been busted over the last few years.

[You don't know me 1161]

46 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I have a lady on my feed that does this daily. It's her personal vendetta to shut down every massage place in town because she thinks they are all rub-n-tugs. 

I think her husband must have been caught with a prostitute or something. Or her dad. Or her mom. Who knows.

I'd go with she's probably running a rub-n-tug out of her house and wants to drive out the competition.

[Ten Bears 2481]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop right there. Eating a bitch out and giving a bitch a foot massage ain't even the same fucking thing. 

Edited May 30, 2018 by Ten Bears

[UT Lawnghorn 758]

3 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:

So there is a foot massage place in a strip center a couple of blocks away from my neighborhood. Not uncommon for Houston, especially hoods with high Asian populations. This busy body is trying to shut one down, although he has no real evidence it’s a rub and tug. Could be legitimate. Anyways, this exchange got a chuckle out of me.

I like the part in which you act like you don't have an encyclopedic knowledge of the rub and tugs in your neighborhood. 

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

I like the part in which you act like you don't have an encyclopedic knowledge of the rub and tugs in your neighborhood. 

I’m the captain of my own ship.

So obviously I am on nextdoor but have never posted or responded to any discussions. There is currently one about good bbq joints in the area. I am trying to resist replying as I feel like I will be pulled into the black hole of suburban stupidity. Am I better off staying out of it and keeping nextdoor merely to look at for laughs?

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

Well, yeah.

[You don't know me 1161]

2 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:

 

I’m the captain of my own ship.

So obviously I am on nextdoor but have never posted or responded to any discussions. There is currently one about good bbq joints in the area. I am trying to resist replying as I feel like I will be pulled into the black hole of suburban stupidity. Am I better off staying out of it and keeping nextdoor merely to look at for laughs?

You need to troll them to keep the debate going.  Go with Bill Miller's or Dickey's as the best by God BBQ in the Great State of Texas.

[ABSR 5309]

15 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:

 

I’m the captain of my own ship.

So obviously I am on nextdoor but have never posted or responded to any discussions. There is currently one about good bbq joints in the area. I am trying to resist replying as I feel like I will be pulled into the black hole of suburban stupidity. Am I better off staying out of it and keeping nextdoor merely to look at for laughs?

 

You should rile them up as much as possible.....however, don't give them any good BBQ places as it could mean your favorite spots will be over run with those people.  

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

You need to troll them to keep the debate going.  Go with Bill Miller's or Dickey's as the best by God BBQ in the Great State of Texas.

You should rile them up as much as possible.....however, don't give them any good BBQ places as it could mean your favorite spots will be over run with those people.  

Yeah, I guess. But they seem to be doing all that by themselves. Suggestions being Goode Company, Hickory Hollow, and lamenting the closure of County Line. It’s like they are trolling themselves.

[You don't know me 1161]

1 minute ago, Patricio Swayze said:

 

 

Yeah, I guess. But they seem to be doing all that by themselves. Suggestions being Goode Company, Hickory Hollow, and lamenting the closure of County Line. It’s like they are trolling themselves.

I moved to Missouri a few years back.  Be thankful that you don't have to subject yourself to 'good' BBQ up here.

[Okie State 3818]

Locals regularly recommend Red River BBQ around me. I can't comprehend how anyone can think that place is edible.

 

Some guy also asked where the best BBQ in the Austin area was and 95% of the responses were Salt Lick.

[High Plains Drifter 11035]

1 hour ago, Patricio Swayze said:

 

I’m the captain of my own ship.

So obviously I am on nextdoor but have never posted or responded to any discussions. There is currently one about good bbq joints in the area. I am trying to resist replying as I feel like I will be pulled into the black hole of suburban stupidity. Am I better off staying out of it and keeping nextdoor merely to look at for laughs?

 

Well, you may be better off staying out of it, we are poorer for it.

[Ldogg53 514]

Yeah, I guess. But they seem to be doing all that by themselves. Suggestions being Goode Company, Hickory Hollow, and lamenting the closure of County Line. It’s like they are trolling themselves.

Yeah because people are idiots. As popular as we think the legit places are, they pretty much all wish they had the revenues of garbage like Pappas, Goode and County Line.

[Brothahorn 10087]

My nextdoor was boring(missing dogs and selling shit). Then some dad put his son's shit on blast..

http://nextdoor.com/news_feed/?post=83235598

 

[Sidney Sherman 66]

On 5/25/2018 at 10:39 AM, TornACL said:

My Nextdoor is awash with people bitching about the apparent wave of recent car break-ins and they're discussing shit like neighborhood patrols, setting up meetings with the city, etc.

Finally it starts to come out in all of this ranting that these stupid fucking idiots are parking their cars in their driveways and on the street and habitually forgetting to lock their doors. So none of these are smash and grabs. They're purely crimes of opportunity because these dumb fucks can't remember to lock their doors and they're leaving purses, bags, electronics, etc in plain sight in their cars.

They did not take kindly to the suggestion that maybe cleaning out their shithole garages and parking in there, or ... locking your fucking car doors would be a much simpler solution than arming up and and playing George Zimmerman around the neighborhood.

Yeah this is true but I don't want some fuckface meth head checking my car door anyway. Sure, lock the doors, but also when dipshits are looking in my truckbed or checking my doors I want to make sure they eat pavement ASAP.

[gyroprotagonist 2592]

Mine has been littered with "Someone was walking around the 'hood going door to door.  I was too chickenshit to answer my door and see WTF they wanted.  Can someone else tell me what they wanted/were selling?"

jackiechan.gif

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

4 minutes ago, gyroprotagonist said:

Mine has been littered with "Someone was walking around the 'hood going door to door.  I was too chickenshit to answer my door and see WTF they wanted.  Can someone else tell me what they wanted/were selling?"

jackiechan.gif

#No racist

[gyroprotagonist 2592]

20 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

#No racist

it was white guy on segway that sparked the most recent event, but yeah... lot's of people ending up with 50 subscriptions to Vibe

[I Plead Da Fif 271]

 

A stray airport hot or not poster?

 

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

"The police have been called but no action has been taken"

 

In other words, your story is bullshit and the cops ain't got no time for bullshit.