Dumbass Shit on Nextdoor

[Stunns38 3357]

 

 

Double post

[Stunns38 3357]

I checked, it was originally posted from Louisiana, which means she was as serious as a heart attack

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2724]

Sometimes Juan needs to go number 2 rather than number Juan

You’re better than this.

[Spaulding Smails 1551]

A buddy of mine owns a painting company.  He has a group of Hondurans that are damn good painters.  Basically, his whole crew is a bunch of brothers and cousins.  They were repainting the exterior of a house in Pemberton Heights.  Nice house.  Big house.  Lots of wood siding with tons of sanding.  Homeowners are gone to work and his guys are working away outside.  I guess one of them had to shit and couldn't hold it, so he bowed up in the corner of the backyard, then went back to work.  The family dog proceeds to come out through the dog door while half the guys are in the front and the other half are up on ladders.  The dog is nosing around in the backyard, then decides to take a nice roll in some fresh Honduran man-shit.  The lead guy is up on a ladder and sees the events unfolding.  He hurries down just as the dog re-enter the house through the dog door.  Too late.  Doors are locked.  Dog door is too small to squeeze through.  They watch through the window as the dog decides to continue his rolling escapade on the rug.  And the furniture.  And rub against the curtains.  Shit everywhere.  

They call my buddy, he thinks it's a joke and soon realizes they aren't fucking around.  There's a dog going hog-wild in the house rubbing human feces all over the furniture.  He had no other choice than to bite the bullet and call the homeowner, have the entire house steam cleaned and knock half off the paint job and beg them not to trash him on social media.

As a contractor, that's why I include "sanitation services" as a line item for every single project that lasts longer than a day.  $120 for a month's rental on a shitter is good insurance for not cleaning party mud off of Suzie Q Homeowner's sofa.

[Trey3216 15325]

44 minutes ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

You’re better than this.

Womp womp womp.   Yeah... that one was pretty bad 

[Longhornfan1024 1707]

13 hours ago, Spaulding Smails said:

A buddy of mine owns a painting company.  He has a group of Hondurans that are damn good painters.  Basically, his whole crew is a bunch of brothers and cousins.  They were repainting the exterior of a house in Pemberton Heights.  Nice house.  Big house.  Lots of wood siding with tons of sanding.  Homeowners are gone to work and his guys are working away outside.  I guess one of them had to shit and couldn't hold it, so he bowed up in the corner of the backyard, then went back to work.  The family dog proceeds to come out through the dog door while half the guys are in the front and the other half are up on ladders.  The dog is nosing around in the backyard, then decides to take a nice roll in some fresh Honduran man-shit.  The lead guy is up on a ladder and sees the events unfolding.  He hurries down just as the dog re-enter the house through the dog door.  Too late.  Doors are locked.  Dog door is too small to squeeze through.  They watch through the window as the dog decides to continue his rolling escapade on the rug.  And the furniture.  And rub against the curtains.  Shit everywhere.  

They call my buddy, he thinks it's a joke and soon realizes they aren't fucking around.  There's a dog going hog-wild in the house rubbing human feces all over the furniture.  He had no other choice than to bite the bullet and call the homeowner, have the entire house steam cleaned and knock half off the paint job and beg them not to trash him on social media.

As a contractor, that's why I include "sanitation services" as a line item for every single project that lasts longer than a day.  $120 for a month's rental on a shitter is good insurance for not cleaning party mud off of Suzie Q Homeowner's sofa.

He should have just blamed it on the dog.

[TornACL 7682]

My Nextdoor feed includes a thread where some old lady in a nearby neighborhood was "robbed". Someone took something off her patio. She posts a string of 6 or 7 pics captured by her home security camera system asking people if anyone has seen this man or knows who he is.

I take a look at the pictures, and they're  black and white, completely terrible lighting, the crime happened at night so you can't tell what the fuck is even going on in these pictures, much less be able to tell if there's a human being in any of the pics. Identifying said human being would be absolutely impossible.

There are a bunch of responses, so finally I scroll down and see this exchange:

"Is your camera mounted upside down?"
"Hazel it might be I tried to do it myself but I guess I put it up wrong"

 

ArmyBrat'd.

[jimmyjazz 45569]

4 hours ago, Longhornfan1024 said:

He should have just blamed it on the dog.

That was worthy of a neg rep from Orca of Peace?  Yeesh.

[Longhornfan1024 1707]

19 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

That was worthy of a neg rep from Orca of Peace?  Yeesh.

He's just being a bitch because I negged him in Politics for being an obvious troll.  

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

23 minutes ago, Longhornfan1024 said:

He's just being a bitch because I negged him in Politics for being an obvious troll.  

I got you, fam

[zman13 178]

Code enforcement talk getting personal. All of the normal responses including wasting police officer's time, living in glass houses, sidewalk blockers, etc.

[McFly 606]

sidewalk blockers?

[Apep 645]

At a guess, people who park in their own driveway but far enough back that it blocks the sidewalk. It is illegal many places.

[Homercles 10205]

I hate that shit, along with not trimming trees/bushes such that I have to use my arm to move them out of the way when I’m walking the dog. But I’m not calling police about it wtf

[Jerry Callo 8667]

Blocking sidewalks can be a big issue for people with disabilities.  

[uoftorange 1386]

15 hours ago, Homercles said:

I hate that shit, along with not trimming trees/bushes such that I have to use my arm to move them out of the way when I’m walking the dog. But I’m not calling police about it wtf

Agree.  You don't call the cops that's messed up.  But there is a special place in hell for people that do either of those things 

[Deej 76582]

On 8/10/2018 at 6:41 PM, Homercles said:

I hate that shit, along with not trimming trees/bushes such that I have to use my arm to move them out of the way when I’m walking the dog. But I’m not calling police about it wtf

Nothing worse than poorly trimmed bush.

[You don't know me 1161]

2 hours ago, Deej said:

Nothing worse than poorly trimmed bush.

I have also heard that if you trim the bushes around your deck it will appear bigger.

[Deej 76582]

 

[Gardner Barnes 1562]

I am actually suprised the racist neighbor post from Lost Creek hasn't made it here yet.

[jimmyjazz 45569]

Lady on NextDoor is flipping out because her Ring camera caught a guy "maybe taking cash" off her front porch while she was on vacation.

"Why did you leave cash on your front porch?"

"I didn't, but on video it looked like he was counting cash."

Edited August 21, 2018 by jimmyjazz

[orange dream 1241]

Young adults trying to intimidate / cause damage - in broad day light

 Just now - around 2:22 PM there was a huge bang on our front door. Some 4 young adults threw a heavy newspaper / magazine at our main door and ran. It barely missed the side glass. The miscreants would have thought that no one was home. Our entire family was at the residence except for me. My wife rushed out and took some pictures of them. These kids then went down south  - seemingly looking for other houses.

I smudged them up - not to hurt anyone's feelings.

[AUS-97HORN 11682]

"miscreants ....."

 

sounds like someone just got done watching dazed and confused and wanted to sound intelligent

[Horn Dog 9676]

On 8/9/2018 at 1:03 PM, Longhornfan1024 said:

He should have just blamed it on the dog.

No shit..... thats what I would of done!

[Ghost of LL 15495]

On 8/21/2018 at 2:35 PM, Gardner Barnes said:

I am actually suprised the racist neighbor post from Lost Creek hasn't made it here yet.

Or is it a racist neighbor?

[Prepuce of Doom 20992]

I have a hard time believing that this is real, but that doesn't make it any less funny. 

 

[dingleberryswitzer 2724]

There was recently a debate about if an animal caught on camera was a coyote or a blue heeler. 

[Deej 76582]

Was it herding children? If so, heeler.

[Trey3216 15325]

18 hours ago, Deej said:

Was it herding children? If so, heeler.

Coyote long game.  Scavenger in a herder's clothing.  

[zman13 178]

The response to the question is awesome. It's freeform poetry

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

Every

Sentence

Is 

A 

Paragraph

 

[zman13 178]

[OrangEngr 1034]

18 minutes ago, zman13 said:

What kind of wussy-ass dogs does that lady have?

 

BTW, take all my money if you have video of that to share.

[happyfunball 481]

Someone needs to troll these idiots about all bike lane roads are being changed to gravel.

[Ten Bears 2479]

Chip seal is fucking evil.

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

Just now, Ten Bears said:

Chip seal is fucking evil.

Chip Seal would be a bad ass name.

[Vic Mackey 46936]

Not my screenshot:

[tbone_ 14027]

I’ve seen your screen shots and I believe you when you say that isn’t your screen shot.

[tbone_ 14027]

I’ve seen your screen shots and I believe you when you say that isn’t your screen shot.

[Buffsoldier 1895]

 

[jimmyjazz 45569]

Allegedly real, might be old, don't care:

[ButtFumble 5159]

I signed up for this and made a few post

not sure what happened, but my real name was not used.....got an email the other day that they had blocked my account because they could not verify that anyone by a (clearly fake) name lived at my address actually lived there.....but if I sent in a photo copy of my ID they would reactivate my account

yea right what ind of an asshole would send a photo copy of their ID to nextdoor or facebook or any of that stupid shit to get your account back

also for some reason I could not remember my password one time and what they CLEARLY want is your home phone number, but I opted to have a new post card sent with the security code.....because again what kind of an asshole is going to give their phone number to something like nextdoor or facebook I get enough spam calls as it is

I had not even posted very much nor had I remotely posted anything controversial yet some asshole seemingly was upset they had given their real name and I had managed to not do so and they "reported me"

sucks for them because I was posting actual relevant shit going on around me

[Homesickhorn 2202]

Yeah, those little fuckers are fierce. They drop down from out of nowhere too!

[Paco 1932]

My old coonhound has been dreaming of this exact scenario for 13 years.

[Apep 645]

The pic looks like Megamind in a Mike Ehrmantraut mask.

[immortal13 4059]

Super suspicious

[You don't know me 1161]

We haven't reported it to the police, but we have reported it to the police.

[elfenix 34188]

 

[Dennis Taylor 18713]

possum eggs are a delicacy in Arkansas

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

Possum eggs are poisonous to cats. BE CAREFUL!!!