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Dumbass Shit on Nextdoor

Sbbruin

By Sbbruin
in Lulz

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Player
Player

Don’t start no shit, Juan be no shit.

Armybrat
Armybrat

I guess somebody gave a flying fuck after all.

G650
G650

If you don't like St Augustine you are a fucking communist.

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Sbbruin

Sbbruin 22142

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OK, this was good today:

Quote
Found on Roof: small pink "toy"

Hi All Today around 4pm, as my husband and I were "staying at home" we heard a unusual rattling noise from the corner of our den by the chimney. After some brief interior investigation, we realized it was coming from outside. After heading into the driveway next to the house, we felt that the noise was coming from the roof, near the chimney. It sounded like perhaps a stuck bird rattling its wings or maybe leftover rain dripping into the gutters. My husband got out the ladder and headed up to investigate. He saw something on the far side of the chimney and asked me to get him something with a handle - I got him a rake. He was able to use the rake to jar it lose and it bounced down the roof to the ground. Much to our surprise, it was a 4inch hot pink vibrator - vibrating away. We have ABSOLUTELY no idea how it could have gotten on our roof, behind our chimney. It's not possible for someone to have thrown it from the street so the only thing we can think, is that it dropped from the sky????? Anywho, if you are missing a hot pink vibrator, maybe don't contact us, but at least you know what happened to it.

with this pic

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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One of you religious types remind me which apocalyptic plague begins with a false messiah, a plague, and florescent dildos falling from the sky?  

 

(I like the "we realized it was coming from outside" Part.  I'm picturing one of them scrambling around and the other saying, "The vibrating is coming from inside the house" )

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Player

Player 4610

Posted
Posted
OK, this was good today:
Found on Roof: small pink "toy"

Hi All Today around 4pm, as my husband and I were "staying at home" we heard a unusual rattling noise from the corner of our den by the chimney. After some brief interior investigation, we realized it was coming from outside. After heading into the driveway next to the house, we felt that the noise was coming from the roof, near the chimney. It sounded like perhaps a stuck bird rattling its wings or maybe leftover rain dripping into the gutters. My husband got out the ladder and headed up to investigate. He saw something on the far side of the chimney and asked me to get him something with a handle - I got him a rake. He was able to use the rake to jar it lose and it bounced down the roof to the ground. Much to our surprise, it was a 4inch hot pink vibrator - vibrating away. We have ABSOLUTELY no idea how it could have gotten on our roof, behind our chimney. It's not possible for someone to have thrown it from the street so the only thing we can think, is that it dropped from the sky????? Anywho, if you are missing a hot pink vibrator, maybe don't contact us, but at least you know what happened to it.

with this pic
28fbc7494ef3ea499f2d8bc12601da1c.jpg.max800.jpg


e940d351d5c01a37defae4e0dfe066f8.jpg

It’s raining dicks.
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Mrs Whiggins

Mrs Whiggins 13050

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On 3/10/2020 at 4:57 PM, UTCzech III said:

Not Neighbor but the FB community watch page..

So the local ministerial alliance put up a cross in the town square like they do every year, no biggie, (this is in Taylor BTW, hi @Armybrat), there's been nativity scenes there before, etc.   This year somebody made a big TOMB to place alongside the cross (by somebody, it looks like the local drama club, not exactly daVinci quality here...).  Well, apparently you need a permit for that and they didn't get one, so bye bye TOMB.  Holy hell, did that bring out the "Christians" (of which I am one, but I'm more the live and let live type).  Gonna overthrow the whole city council, it was all the usual suspects (you know who got blamed, trying to keep this non-CR).  Not so much lulz but it does let me know who the idiots are in my little burg...

 

ETA: pretty amazing to know some stone cutter during the Crucifixion knew what the state of Texas was going to look like someday...

 

88998067_2960180374003538_7178001073108418560_n.jpg

I like how the artist(s) wrote 'Tomb' on the little sign.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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So Jamie Secrest, what we got here is a little game of show n' tell.  You telling me everything, you don't wanna show me nuthin'.  I have zero doubt that your post is a tacit confession that you spent 2-3 minutes watching these people have sex before moving on.  You wanna talk about that part before we start calling random parents?  

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Sbbruin

Sbbruin 22142

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My now wife got busted fucking in the car ata park at night when we were in our 20s.  Windows were all steamed up and my bare ass was pounding away on her, when I hear a “tap tap tap” on the window and a cop is staring in.  Just told us to zip up and move on.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Well, the Park Avenue and Oldsmobile 88 were basically the same car with just different badging and grills.  

Guess you could all my girlfriends were basically the same build with just different badging and grills.  

Mmmm.   Something for me to think about in the shower. 

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gernblansten

gernblansten 3259

Posted
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On 3/23/2020 at 9:52 AM, Lobo said:

Well, the Park Avenue and Oldsmobile 88 were basically the same car with just different badging and grills.  . 

That's a tricky statement, 'cause Buick didn't make a Park Avenue in '55, the Park Avenue didn't come out till '62. And it wasn't offered in the Bel Air with a four-barrel carb till '64. However, in 1964, the correct ignition timing would be four degrees before top-dead-center, and that's dead on balls accurate.

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Born Burnt

Born Burnt 6274

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On 3/23/2020 at 8:50 AM, Sbbruin said:

My now wife got busted fucking in the car ata park at night when we were in our 20s.  Windows were all steamed up and my bare ass was pounding away on her, when I hear a “tap tap tap” on the window and a cop is staring in.  Just told us to zip up and move on.

Ditto.

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Baboontyme

Baboontyme 2882

Posted
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We have bottle/can deposits here. 10 cents per. Self return kiosks and returns in general are shut down right now for obvious reasons. Guy started thread about what he's supposed to do with his empties. 

Nothing? Maybe?

He replied to his own thread complaining that he is still being charged the $.10 by the State up front on purchases and suggesting that they should discontinue this.

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nnm

nnm 37896

Posted
Posted
30 minutes ago, Born Burnt said:

Jamie is now Manager of Inventory and Operations at Eagle Pipe.

So we know she handles a lot of pipe, and knows how to operate it. And yet she’s complaining about a couple of teenagers doing what teenagers do. 

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mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5225

Posted
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On 3/25/2020 at 3:51 PM, Shoxthemonkey said:

Image result for 1970 plymouth fury 3

This car. 1970 Fury III. A lot roomier than my 67 Dart GT. My Dad had a thing for Mopars

Pops had the station wagon version of this.  Green beast.  had a little cubby area between the back back back seat and the fold down back door/tailgate.  That was my spot.  If we'd gotten rear ended, I'd have been a goner.

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Jerry Callo

Jerry Callo 8958

Posted
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Adette:  Are there any at home nail techs around! My shop of 7 years is closed 😰

Helpful Neighbor:  You couldn’t go anyway - non essential!

Adette:  I can do as I like. But thanks!

HN #2:  I don't usually comment on things like this but since Greg Abbott's announcement today, people will be less able "to do what they like"

HN #3:  Seriously your worrird about your nails.. cut them short and move on geeze

Adette:  Unless you are a nail tech. No need to respond. Thanks 😁

HN #4:  First of all if you have a cosmologist license in Texas to do nails etc. it is against the law to do them out of your home-unless of course that is your place of business.

Adette:  Lori, did you read the post. I was looking for a nail tech. Not your opinion. 👍🏾

 

Adette may be wrong for wanting to get her nails done in this time of crisis, but she is quite right in her approach to handling the helpful neighbors on Nextdoor.

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Trey3216

Trey3216 15452

Posted
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We had a pilot training in a Lear out of McGregor airport the other day...Some Karen called the police to ask why the plane kept flying over Hewitt/Lorena/Woodway.  
 

some other Karen chimes in that it could have been the C-5 that they are working on at L-3.  
 

Some other Karen chimed in that it was a crop duster that had been working in this area for many years.   
 

 

jeez. 

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SKJ

SKJ 1317

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On 2/25/2020 at 10:46 AM, dingleberryswitzer said:

I guess this is the best place to put this.  Need a surly opinion.

  Read a post recently about someone getting pissed because they got an HOA citation because they leave their trash can on th side of their house and apparently there is a rule about trashcans being out of view from the street.  The person claimed it was hidden by an AC unit.  Whatever, but the weird thing to me we multiple people saying putting the trash in their garage was simply NOT an option, because it smells.  Well I've gone all my adult life with my trashcan IN my garage.  It's never really been a problem with smells unless maybe it's the day before trash day and my kids were still in diapers.  

So, am I a Savage for keeping my cans in the garage are are my neighbors just creating stinker than normal trash.  

Well,  interesting that you say that. I used to as well,  but turns out the fire department recommends never putting those trash cans in your garage because they go up like Roman candles. 

I know this because it happened to me once. 

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Biff Tannen

Biff Tannen 46150

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11 hours ago, SKJ said:

Well,  interesting that you say that. I used to as well,  but turns out the fire department recommends never putting those trash cans in your garage because they go up like Roman candles. 

I know this because it happened to me once. 

The trash cans are flammable?

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