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I think my cat may have fucked us.

smuggs

By smuggs
in Daily Texan

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smuggs

smuggs 9359

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I think my cat may have fucked us. I requested one fucking thing: don't roam the neighborhood and don't play chase-tail with your neighbor cat friends. That's it. Let me go outside. Let me take the risk because I can ramp up and be super OCD about this. 

Well she disobeyed, got out of the house and went to see two tabbies in their yards over the last 2 weeks and went to the duplex dumpster enclosure twice. Now she's had two days of poor appetite, snooty nose, and overall disheveled coat and diarrhea.

I'm scared shitless. I'm seriously considering going today to buy a pistol and ammo so if this thing gets really bad for me I can kill myself before the worst symptoms of the pneumonia distress start. 

If I'm fortunate and don't get sick very badly I'm dropping her off at the pound. She showed she can't even put my or her own feline health ahead of her selfish cat desires to stealthily pursue small reptiles and birds. That's unforgivable. 

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G650

G650 14305

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4 minutes ago, smuggs said:

I think my cat may have fucked us. I requested one fucking thing: don't roam the neighborhood and don't play chase-tail with your neighbor cat friends. That's it. Let me go outside. Let me take the risk because I can ramp up and be super OCD about this. 

Well she disobeyed, got out of the house and went to see two tabbies in their yards over the last 2 weeks and went to the duplex dumpster enclosure twice. Now she's had two days of poor appetite, snooty nose, and overall disheveled coat and diarrhea.

I'm scared shitless. I'm seriously considering going today to buy a pistol and ammo so if this thing gets really bad for me I can kill myself before the worst symptoms of the pneumonia distress start. 

If I'm fortunate and don't get sick very badly I'm dropping her off at the pound. She showed she can't even put my or her own feline health ahead of her selfish cat desires to stealthily pursue small reptiles and birds. That's unforgivable. 

I'm fairly unsurprised @Junior Miller married your cat.

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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26570

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1 hour ago, smuggs said:

I'm scared shitless. I'm seriously considering going today to buy a pistol and ammo so if this thing gets really bad for me I can kill myself before the worst symptoms of the pneumonia distress start.

Your cat will manage to get hold of the pistol, and shoot you in the big toe while she'd playing with it.

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