Insane Neighbor

[Horn_Spanker 524]

After two days of heat, I finally get to open all the windows to enjoy the coolness after the rain.  After a while I smell smoke, and sure enough the crazy next door neighbor is burning his fireplace!  I have to close the windows.

I commented here this past winter about him burning pressure treated pine.  He's up to it again.  When it first happened, I contacted the city and was told it's against the law to burn pressure treated wood outside, but not inside.  WTF?

This isn't his only insanity, how can I have him committed?  

(I wanted get him help, but now, fuck him)

 

[ROFL BOX 6655]

"Burning his fireplace"?  Like, he ripped it out of the house & is burning the material?

[Dewey 3330]

Move to the country 

[millhouse 2733]

Maybe move your truck and trailer out from the front of his house

[Iceman 2978]

does it smell like he's cooking the dog...or his wife?

[texhorn 356]

I’ll trade you for my loud neighbor instead

[Errestaurants 2570]

sounds like you are a pussy. Why don't you go over to your neighbor and say something? oh, you're a pussy. Anyone that contacts the city before confronting a neighbor is 100% pussy in my book.

[markstanco 12786]

You can smell your neighbors fireplace smoke? That's insane and also on you with your home/apartment purchase/rental.

[Brew 3049]

I hate neighbors. Our last neighbors were colossal pains in the ass. I was pretty well ready to murder their kids by the end. I overpaid to get into a neighborhood in town with 5 acre lots where trees on both sides keep us from seeing the neighbors. It’s been the best money I’ve spent in a long time.

[bernorange 8385]

Don't know what you are complaining about.  It's not like he tore down your fence in the middle of the night.

[wild_turkey 3296]

Whatever happened to that crazy neighbor in Austin that was painting weird shit all over his house?

[Hook1997 5509]

1 hour ago, wild_turkey said:

Whatever happened to that crazy neighbor in Austin that was painting weird shit all over his house?

I thought he finally got evicted but not sure?  Good question.

[Born to Run 6601]

Move to the country 

And plant a little gaeden..

[Nueces River Rat 5796]

Two Options.

Put a spray nozzle  on your hose and when he's not looking,  put the fire out from your yard.  This is assuming you are talking about an outdoor fire place or fire pit, not the indoor variety.   

The next time the wind is blowing his direction,  find some good smoke producing wood like mesquite and give him a taste of his own medicine.  Throw some useless paper in there and let him enjoy.

Edited April 10, 2020 by Nueces River Rat

[Native Horn 3581]

Copper, chromium, arsenic....really not a big deal, if you want your lungs fucked up.

[Paco 1960]

And plant a little gaeden..

Eat a lotta peaches, and try and find Jesus on your own

[Deej 77820]

No people living in a shed in their backyard, with guns, machetes, and bull whips? 

[RDCanecutter 26884]

In the old Austin Hippy house we had a feral Bangladeshi roommate who would cook a big batch of chicken and rice and maybe 8 pounds of saffron and he'd eat that shit for a week solid. It wasn't bad at first. He ate it with his fingers as is customary and I guess it wasn't his custom to wash his hands because all the doorknobs got sticky.

We begged him to cook something different, so one day the house smelled like lighter fluid. Fucker had bought a little grill, and was cooking on it inside.

[Bevo&Pevo 5518]

While he has a fire going take a brisket over.

[idigTexas 2330]

On 4/9/2020 at 5:54 PM, Horn_Spanker said:

When it first happened, I contacted the city and was told it's against the law to burn pressure treated wood outside, but not inside.  WTF?

WTF is right.  Because the smoke from burning this shit is going to stay in the house? 

[immortal13 4059]

Neighbors fucking suck. 

[RPM 26628]

7 hours ago, immortal13 said:

Neighbors fucking suck. 

Had one start a grassfire that nearly burned my house down.

[Irish Wrist Watch 1503]

Any way to clog up his chimney? You'd have to climb on top of his house late at night. Does he ever leave for the weekend? I'm not recommending this, btw, because all kinds of things can go wrong, but it is funny to fantasize about. Can he afford a chimney sweep or might he stop his burning  until the winter to save money? How accessible is his ash collection box? Have you googled it. Find a story where burning pressure treated wood resulted in a house burning down or permanently smelling up the interior paint reducing the house's value.

[Irish Wrist Watch 1503]

10 Easy Ways to Get Back at Your Annoying Neighbors

1. Have your car alarm go off at unusual times. ...
2. Use your front yard as a storage facility. ...
3. Neglect your wooden fences. ...
4. Get your neighbors to keep their distance. ...
5. Share your music with your neighbors. ...
6. Never take your Christmas lights down. ...
7. Get yourself one of those novelty musical car horns.Use it every time you pull into the driveway. Make sure it is pointed directly at his house.
8. Move "for sale" signs from neighborhood yard to the front of his house
9. Use  bullhorn to track down your kids

10. Have your friends visit you at all hours of the day or night.

https://www.pointsincase.com/articles/10-easy-ways-to-get-back-at-your-annoying-neighbors

[Irish Wrist Watch 1503]

Saw this on 12ozProphet: "well... there is someting someone brought up in a conversation about fucking with people..... and that idea is... epoxy their goddamn door shut.. and if you want to fuck with em even more.. epoxy their souped up toyota corolla.. you know... that grey, 92 toyota corolla with the 20 inch rims, spoiler.. new tint job...... just epoxy that shit shut... you know you want to..."

[Irish Wrist Watch 1503]

Another trick: From StraightDope.  https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=748742

"
3. When I lived in an apartment the neighbor upstairs use to have loud parties in the middle of the night. When I asked her to keep it quieter, she told me to go to hell. The building circuit breaker box was in the hallway near to my door so I would just go out and trip the breaker to her stereo. I enjoyed that, but it was a lot of work. So I changed a few of her 15 amp circuit breakers with 10 amp breakers. That helped keep things quieter for the 6 months before I moved out. "

[HRSchenker 2341]

On 4/9/2020 at 10:41 PM, Errestaurants said:

sounds like you are a pussy. Why don't you go over to your neighbor and say something? oh, you're a pussy. Anyone that contacts the city before confronting a neighbor is 100% pussy in my book.

I can't rep this enough. In my neighborhood we had a neighbor call the police for a noise complaint. The issue? 2 girls playing on a trampoline in the backyard at 8pm. Whoever called 911 is a total pussy.

[rage-a-holic 4732]

On 4/15/2020 at 10:59 AM, RDCanecutter said:

In the old Austin Hippy house we had a feral Bangladeshi roommate who would cook a big batch of chicken and rice and maybe 8 pounds of saffron and he'd eat that shit for a week solid. It wasn't bad at first. He ate it with his fingers as is customary and I guess it wasn't his custom to wash his hands because all the doorknobs got sticky.

We begged him to cook something different, so one day the house smelled like lighter fluid. Fucker had bought a little grill, and was cooking on it inside.

8 pounds of saffron costs anywhere between $10,000 - $15,000. Did this guy wipe his ass with $100 bills too?

[RDCanecutter 26884]

43 minutes ago, rage-a-holic said:

8 pounds of saffron costs anywhere between $10,000 - $15,000. Did this guy wipe his ass with $100 bills too?

I never realized he had that much money. Dammit dammit dammit.

[crash_davis 23470]

There's expensive saffron that whities pay for, and there's inexpensive saffron in Indian markets that smart non whities pay for.

[Iceman 2978]

38 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

There's expensive saffron that whities pay for, and there's inexpensive saffron in Indian markets that smart non whities pay for.

so in other words, tacos al carbon?

[XYZ 2154]

I have a crazy neighbor. If I drive past his house and he happens to be outside, he shakes his fist and yells at me. One time his next door neighbor was out washing his car, so I stopped to ask him if he knew what the deal was with the asshole. He said that the asshole has appointed himself the street’s speeding vigilante, and curses at drivers who go too fast. Bonus story: one time the asshole did a yard sale and was out in the yard with his revolver in the holster. People would drive by, see the yard sale, stop to look around, and when they noticed the gun they’d be like “kids, get in the car right now”.

[gsoda3 3362]

how do you know what he's doing?  i mean what does pressure treated pine smoke even smell like? 

[crash_davis 23470]

1 hour ago, gsoda3 said:

i mean what does pressure treated pine smoke even smell like? 

[dcbc 14644]

There's neighbors you can talk to and there's neighbors you instinctively stay away from.  It's a case by case basis when you have a complaint.  I know all of the neighbors on my street and, as a result, let some of the minor bullshit slide.  Thankfully, up to this point, it's all been minor bullshit these past 20 years. 

The problem of a neighbor burning pressure treated pine in his fireplace will solve itself in the medium term.

[NeverMarryAStripper 22297]

Yeah eventually the chemicals released will get to him and he’ll end up wearing someone’s skin for a suit

[rage-a-holic 4732]

On 4/19/2020 at 9:05 AM, crash_davis said:

There's expensive saffron that whities pay for, and there's inexpensive saffron in Indian markets that smart non whities pay for.

There is no such thing as "inexpensive" saffron. You may be talking about shit made from safflower, which is not saffron.

It's like comparing white mushrooms to truffles.

[RPM 26628]

On 4/18/2020 at 6:33 PM, HRSchenker said:

In my neighborhood we had a neighbor call the police for a noise complaint. The issue? 2 girls playing on a trampoline in the backyard at 8pm. 

Defeated?

[Orange&White 5573]

I am not sure if burning treated wood indoors qualifies as "insane".

The surley poster from last year had an "insane" neighbor.

I know of a guy that stands in his doorway with a rifle every time someone is at the community mailbox across the street from him because "he has to protect his family". That guy is insane.

Burning treated wood is annoying for sure.

[NeverMarryAStripper 22297]

3 minutes ago, Orange&White said:

I know of a guy that stands in his doorway with a rifle every time someone is at the community mailbox across the street from him because "he has to protect his family". That guy is insane.

I'd get my lawn chair and spend my free time sitting at the mailbox staring at him

[Alex Karev 1067]

Maybe he is cooking meth.

[Alex Karev 1067]

When you are going to be out of town for a few days empty a box of moth balls along the fence line.

When he complains tell him that you are trying to cover up some stinking odor that smells like treated wood burning.