Fitlump fucking won a Austin City Council seat, Now on to Congress 2026!

[atomheartbevo 89,257]

https://www.kvue.com/article/news/local/mackenzie-kelly-running-for-austin-city-council/269-b9e22fde-eaec-45e7-b81c-a6b7de4deb4b

https://www.facebook.com/mackenzieforaustin

Quote

Mackenzie Kelly, the president of Take Back Austin and a northwest Austin native, on Wednesday filed paperwork launching her campaign for Austin City Council, District 6.

“We could tell Councilman Flannigan to take a hike, but we don't have to – 'Downtown Jimmy' has been deeply embedded with his City Hall cronies ever since taking office,” Kelly said in a press release Thursday. “It's time for us to not just fix the city but take it back for all Austinites, starting with our many neighborhoods, and not just bureaucratic interests and the whims of urban planners.”

Quote

She says another focus of her time will be to support the law enforcement community, which is now facing an officer shortage. Kelly was recently elected the president of the 100th class of the Austin Police Department's Citizen Police Academy.

Quote

Additionally, Kelly served the Jollyville Fire Department from 2005 to 2013. She is now employed in the health care sector, working alongside frontline workers who care for the elderly.

 

 

Edited 4 hours ago by atomheartbevo

[Reagan1k 3,002]

Just now, atomheartbevo said:

working alongside frontline workers who care for the elderly.

Alongside - literally.  Not working with them, just alongside of them taking selfies while other people do real work in the background.

Edited May 7, 2020 by Reagan1k

[Fuck Tim Beck 3,789]

Oh wow. Citizen police academy now too. 

[Continental Op 3,934]

I'm sure the people in her district need to see those pics of her tits she posted on Shaggy in order to cast an informed vote. 

[Grade of D as in David 13,253]

Think Lance will support her candidacy?

[RoundRobin 828]

She does resemble Steve Gutenberg. 

[Foosters 17,682]

Anyone got that gif of her working out in some park while she "trained" for that women's football league?

It kinda looks like a special Olympics kid who's been winged.

[hullabelew 3,698]

Citizen Police Academy President.  They have a list on their site. https://www.austintexas.gov/department/citizen-police-academy

• Meet the Chief - More like Blow the Chief
• Perspectives of Racial Profiling 
• Recruiting
• APD Cadet Training
• Internal Affairs
• Special Investigative Unit
• District Representatives
• Emergency Communications/PIO - Remember her radio 'career'
• Response to Resistance
• Crisis Intervention - Mailing panties to prisoners
• Critical Incidents - Remember the broken wrist?  And her amazing healing powers
• Family Violence - everything she has put her daughter through, even though she doesn't have custody
• Sex Crimes  -  Cam Girl
• Gang Unit - "gamer gate?".  She didn't even understand what it was and used the stolen rant to argue the wrong side.  
• Human Trafficking - She had to kidnap those two goofy fuckers who hung out with her.  Quagmire and the other dude.
• Bomb Squad
• K-9
• S.W.A.T
• Air Operations
• Burglary
• Robbery
• Homicide
• Cold Case -  Maybe Romeo Rose can testify to this.  
• ARIC
• INTEL
• Highway Enforcement
• DWI - I'm betting several
• Mounted Patrol - That ladders drill on the hill looked like a drunk Tennessee Walking horse
• Animal Cruelty  -  Using some mutt as a 'service animal
• APD Explorers/Police Activities League (PAL)

[tx 3 putt 75,793]

Harvard grads often find their way to Public service !!!!!

Edited May 7, 2020 by tx 3 putt

[tx 3 putt 75,793]

Please win, please please please win !!!!!!

[Brisketexan 104,044]

8 minutes ago, Grade of D as in David said:

Think Lance will support her candidacy?

Well, if he intends to do so, he needs to do it soon, because she's......on the clock.....

[Leeroy Jenkins 2,353]

Who has her cam girl pics?  Those can get posted on here.  Those other ones would need to go to another location.  

[atomheartbevo 89,257]

14 minutes ago, hullabelew said:

Cold Case -  Maybe Romeo Rose can testify to this.  

He really dropped off the face of the...oh, I see what you did there.

14 minutes ago, hullabelew said:

Emergency Communications/PIO - Remember her radio 'career'

And social media.  And combining the two.

Quote

On Tuesday Feb. 26 2013, Social Media expert Mackenzie Ann Kelly (@MKelly007) brings the Travis County Amateur Radio Emergency Service up to speed on the critical role Social Media plays in Emergency Management and Response. Free and open to the public. 7:00 PM at the UT Applied Research Laboratories (ARL Labs http://goo.gl/maps/T00YB) at 10000 Burnet Rd at the corner of Rutland in Austin, Texas.

Edited May 7, 2020 by atomheartbevo

[atomheartbevo 89,257]

I don't know what her end game is, but she's been playing a really long game.  She's certainly tenacious and willing to spend money on it.

[tx 3 putt 75,793]

She deserves to win 

[BERT 4,306]

35 minutes ago, Continental Op said:

I'm sure the people in her district need to see those pics of her tits she posted on Shaggy in order to cast an informed vote. 

 

26 minutes ago, Foosters said:

Anyone got that gif of her working out in some park while she "trained" for that women's football league?

It kinda looks like a special Olympics kid who's been winged.

 

10 minutes ago, Leeroy Jenkins said:

Who has her cam girl pics?  Those can get posted on here.  Those other ones would need to go to another location.  

Go on

[crash_davis 23,069]

i'm voting for her, twice.

why, you ponder?

[Foggy Notion 1,202]

27 minutes ago, hullabelew said:

Citizen Police Academy President.  They have a list on their site. https://www.austintexas.gov/department/citizen-police-academy

• Meet the Chief - More like Blow the Chief
• Perspectives of Racial Profiling 
• Recruiting
• APD Cadet Training
• Internal Affairs
• Special Investigative Unit
• District Representatives
• Emergency Communications/PIO - Remember her radio 'career'
• Response to Resistance
• Crisis Intervention - Mailing panties to prisoners
• Critical Incidents - Remember the broken wrist?  And her amazing healing powers
• Family Violence - everything she has put her daughter through, even though she doesn't have custody
• Sex Crimes  -  Cam Girl
• Gang Unit - "gamer gate?".  She didn't even understand what it was and used the stolen rant to argue the wrong side.  
• Human Trafficking - She had to kidnap those two goofy fuckers who hung out with her.  Quagmire and the other dude.
• Bomb Squad
• K-9
• S.W.A.T
• Air Operations
• Burglary
• Robbery
• Homicide
• Cold Case -  Maybe Romeo Rose can testify to this.  
• ARIC
• INTEL
• Highway Enforcement
• DWI - I'm betting several
• Mounted Patrol - That ladders drill on the hill looked like a drunk Tennessee Walking horse
• Animal Cruelty  -  Using some mutt as a 'service animal
• APD Explorers/Police Activities League (PAL)

I was at her graduation ceremony late last year.  My GF and I went to support one of her coworkers who was in the same class, and guess who’s there...

[Pato del Muerto 52,175]

Cass Elliott?

[Jack Straw 2,953]

37 minutes ago, Foosters said:

Anyone got that gif of her working out in some park while she "trained" for that women's football league?

It kinda looks like a special Olympics kid who's been winged.

Someone please find and post that, it is hilarious.  Some poster on TOS had a sped up version of it as their avatar and I laughed every time I saw it.  

[Foggy Notion 1,202]

Someone (not me! sweatergawd) archived the highlights of the NSFW thread from TOS and posted them online. Ya know, for posterity.  Includes her cam girl profile, the bolt-ons etc. 

Is this the right thread to post that in?  Asking first cuz it includes posts that weren’t public on TOS. 

[NAVY 6,735]

[hullabelew 3,698]

54 minutes ago, Foggy Notion said:

I was at her graduation ceremony late last year.  My GF and I went to support one of her coworkers who was in the same class, and guess who’s there...

Foggy, How in the fuck have you kept this to yourself all of this time?  

[hullabelew 3,698]

From the website:  https://takebackaustin.org/

I'm going to need an interpreter for this sentence from Ms. Kelly

In recent years, the current state of our City has built increasing concern in me more each day.

She apparently didn't have even one person proof the text: 

This growing concern has made it so that I could no longer sit back and watch the downfall of our once great home, it has forced me to take action.

 I believe and stand for transparency, accountability and leadership.

 

Edited May 7, 2020 by hullabelew

[Foggy Notion 1,202]

2 hours ago, hullabelew said:

Foggy, How in the fuck have you kept this to yourself all of this time?  

I had Surly in mind when I took the photo, but honestly, it just didn’t seem “newsworthy” enough to post.  Just felt like I’d be giving the horse the attention she so desperately craves.  When it got mentioned up thread, I went back in my phone and still had the pic.

This conversation happened in hush tones in the house of the Lord.  (The graduation took place in a church.)

GF: Who’s that?  Why are you taking her picture?

FN: That’s FitLump. From Shaggy. 

GF: Who?

FN: FitLump. Remember I told you about her a few years ago?  That’s the batshit crazy bitch that showed her tits on Shaggy and then ran for City Council.

GF: Oh yeah.  Didn’t she bang someone kinda famous or something?

FN: Yeah, Lance Armstrong.  And Romeo Rose.

GF: Romeo who?
 

[Deej 76,281]

She may just horn her way into office. 

[Deej 76,281]

Patrick Osborn seems like a cuck. 

[gmr548 16,365]

[ChiTownDoc 20,982]

5 hours ago, Continental Op said:

I'm sure the people in her district need to see those pics of her tits she posted on Shaggy in order to cast an informed vote. 

Wait - wut???

[ChiTownDoc 20,982]

3 hours ago, hullabelew said:

From the website:  https://takebackaustin.org/

WTF is going on in her pic there?  Her fivehead...has a fivehead.  I don't hunt much, how many points does that count for?

And holy shit, I don't think I've seen anyone this side of Gary Busey look crazier in a pic.  You all need to do your civic duty...elect this nutjob. 

[Aldo Raine 122]

I'm sure the people in her district need to see those pics of her tits she posted on Shaggy in order to cast an informed vote. 

When she posted the pics, didn’t she say “it’s not like I’m running for office or anything “ in literally the same post? Lol that’s how I remember it at least.

[Continental Op 3,934]

14 minutes ago, ChiTownDoc said:

Wait - wut???

There was a thread on TOS called "8 days to new boobs" or somesuch where she posted pics of her old tits and her new tits.  

[Armybrat 40,597]

21 minutes ago, ChiTownDoc said:

Wait - wut???

Heheh... Even I saw that train wreck soap opera. Classic Shaggy it was.

Even though I don’t live in Austin I might mail in some ballots. She would be a hoot(er).

Edited May 8, 2020 by Armybrat

[ChiTownDoc 20,982]

3 minutes ago, Continental Op said:

There was a thread on TOS called "8 days to new boobs" or somesuch where she posted pics of her old tits and her new tits.  

I've been brought up to speed via pvt message.  I don't know what to say but I'll try to string a sentence or two together.  You really could not make this shit up.  And the nickname fitlump.  Holy shit this place just nails everything...including fitlump.  Literally?

[miguelito 11,146]

4 hours ago, hullabelew said:

From the website:  https://takebackaustin.org/

I'm going to need an interpreter for this sentence from Ms. Kelly

In recent years, the current state of our City has built increasing concern in me more each day.

She apparently didn't have even one person proof the text: 

This growing concern has made it so that I could no longer sit back and watch the downfall of our once great home, it has forced me to take action.

 I believe and stand for transparency, accountability and leadership.

 

 

 

 

Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me I'm hot. What? Taxes they'll be lower son. The democratic vote for me is right thing to do Philadelphia. So do.

[pacman 7,250]

5 hours ago, Leeroy Jenkins said:

Who has her cam girl pics?  Those can get posted on here.  Those other ones would need to go to another location.  

She is a great source of laughs and guffaws.

nsfw

 

Edited May 8, 2020 by pacman

[Continental Op 3,934]

Holy shit "It's not like I'm running for office" has to be one of the best long game self owns of all time.

[NorthLoop 14,022]

[NorthLoop 14,022]

[atomheartbevo 89,257]

1 hour ago, ChiTownDoc said:

You all need to do your civic duty...elect this nutjob. 

 

1 hour ago, Armybrat said:

Even though I don’t live in Austin I might mail in some ballots. She would be a hoot(er).

I would love for her to get a seat on the city council.  It's exactly what this city deserves, and her social media would be off the rails.

[ChiTownDoc 20,982]

23 minutes ago, NorthLoop said:

<can’t stop staring>
 

I almost felt bad for laughing then saw her in the post above making fun of someone else.  The lack of self awareness is mind bottling.  

And NorthLoop doing God’s work...who would have ever guessed?

Edited May 8, 2020 by ChiTownDoc

[utee94 15,726]

2 hours ago, ChiTownDoc said:

WTF is going on in her pic there?  Her fivehead...has a fivehead.  I don't hunt much, how many points does that count for?

And holy shit, I don't think I've seen anyone this side of Gary Busey look crazier in a pic.  You all need to do your civic duty...elect this nutjob. 

Well it's Austin so... there's a pretty damn good chance it will happen.

 

And I for one welcome... nope, can't say it.

[NorthLoop 14,022]

Well in her last city council election, I believe she got dead last out of 5 candidates. 

[NorthLoop 14,022]

9 hours ago, ChiTownDoc said:

<can’t stop staring>
 

I almost felt bad for laughing then saw her in the post above making fun of someone else.  The lack of self awareness is mind bottling.  

And NorthLoop doing God’s work...who would have ever guessed?

ChiTown we watched that debate livestreamed. Her responses were very Miss South Carolina esque. Basically babbling incoherent and never actually answering the questions at hand. There were some great reaction shots of the other candidates while she was speaking as well. I'll see if I can dig them up. 

[RPM 26,127]

She left lingerie football off her resume.

[InkaUtexas 25,074]

odd, the photos are not showing up. 

[Shaggy3.0 1,694]

And don't forget--she announced her presence on that "My friend ricky post wayyy too many mussel pics on FB!!" thread.  I think she worked at ShowPalace and said she would never show the nudes (LOLOLOL).  Ricky was a messed up dude.  Horn and Ricky were buds.  I bet Ricky can tell plenty of good stories about her past.  There could be one about Horn getting Eiffel Towered. Who knows.  Is Ricky still locked up?

Edited May 8, 2020 by Shaggy3.0

[Pasken 1,309]

Jimmy is the most rational  and analytical member of the city council. It would be a big hit to the city if he lost.

[atomheartbevo 89,257]

16 hours ago, hullabelew said:

In recent years, the current state of our City has built increasing concern in me more each day.

She apparently didn't have even one person proof the text: 

This growing concern has made it so that I could no longer sit back and watch the downfall of our once great home, it has forced me to take action.

“In recent years, the current state of our Football Program has built increasing concern in me more each day.   This growing concern has made it so that I could no longer sit back and watch the downfall of our once great team, it has forced me to take action and fly a banner.”

- Drunk Surly

[strangulation! 1,699]

23 minutes ago, Shaggy3.0 said:

And don't forget--she announced her presence on that "My friend ricky post wayyy too many mussel pics on FB!!" thread.  I think she worked at ShowPalace and said she would never show the nudes (LOLOLOL).  Ricky was a messed up dude.  Horn and Ricky were buds.  I bet Ricky can tell plenty of good stories about her past.  There could be one about Horn getting Eiffel Towered. Who knows.  Is Ricky still locked up?

page 17 has this, which should be the entirety of her campaign.