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Fitlump fucking won a Austin City Council seat, Now on to Congress 2026!

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By atomheartbevo
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dcar00

dcar00 13964

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, Lobo said:

Yeah, Flanigan is not happy about this getting out there this week.  I'm sure he'll vote to punt it until after the run-off.  

Holy shit though---$182,000/month for 5 months to "lease" an 84-room hotel.  That's $2,170/room or roughly the same price as a B-Class 2-bedroom apartment.  Plus $700/room in "cleaning and restoration."  Isn't the whole point of a hotel, that they clean up after you?  And what is "restoration" meaning for a hotel room?  There's nothing to restore, the property is only like 4 fucking years old.  Let's call it $250k all-in because it will cost $9,000 for some employee at City of Austin to handle payments and assign rooms.  

So our brilliant City Council's best negotiating pitch to Fairfield/Marriott was basically: "I see here that your rack rate is $85/night on these rooms.  Since we're booking the entire hotel for 5 months with guaranteed government money...our final offer is to pay you $95/night given the bulk discount nature of the booking.  And we'll pass those savings on to the taxpayers."  

You know what...fuck it.  Fitlump deserves to win.  Why not?  This council can't get anymore fucking insane.  

oh it can get way more fucking insane, just wait...

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I personally have no idea what you're referring to, but I did see this online.

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Eskimohorn

Eskimohorn 5584

Posted
Posted

Austin CC can only put band-aids on homelessness and murder rates. One viewing of The Wire will show homicide detectives most effective strategies in decreasing the murder rate is by moving the body to a different jurisdiction or by claiming the murder is a suicide or overdose.

Homelessness is extremely complicated problem that takes massive policy changes on a national scale to address. In fact, the better Austin’s homeless support policies are, the more homeless you’ll attract. Because we have tourism districts, the police are more tolerant than surrounding cities, good weather, and safety nets.

Do we understand the foundational issues and problems. Here’s what needs to be tackled:

1) Houseless children - upwards of 200k kids in Texas dont have permanent homes. This doesn’t necessarily include kids in the foster system.

2) Foster kids - Texas foster care system continues to fail. Austin attracts quite a bit of graduates of the Foster Care system with no support network. My buddy says surrounding counties give them one-way bus tickets to Austin.

3) Affordability - I’d argue that before families hit the streets, they find families or friends or move or hit up social services. But there are cases and probably more now where individuals and families lose their homes and live in cars or streets.

4) Substance abuse/Mental illness - I’d guess the obvious examples we see now in overpasses are squarely in this category. And we’ve seen murders from this group from lone men.

5) Longterm panhandlers - A rising issue. Professional homeless, some of these include violent or career criminals.

So what can any CC do about these issues? Bandaids and safety nets. Or, draconian efforts to drive them out. To where?

Fitlump will want the police to bust heads or set up camps on the outskirts like Grapes of Wrath. What do people expect?

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BabaYaga

BabaYaga 15189

Posted
Posted
36 minutes ago, dcar00 said:

oh it can get way more fucking insane, just wait...

Commercial RE version of the high speed rail

Boon-fucking-doggle.....just the passing public funds around like fucking candy to all the deep pockets with their hands out tied in with the legislature.  

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BabaYaga

BabaYaga 15189

Posted
Posted (edited)
12 minutes ago, Eskimohorn said:

So what can any CC do about these issues?

The answer of course, is tigers.  Lots and lots of tigers.  One - we know of two sanctuaries housing hundreds of tigers that is close by.  Two - nobody likes a caged animal.  It's cruel and inhumane.  Most of us are also bored.

ERGO.....high fence parts of the city, and release the tigers.  Most of us that are ballers have cars.  Tigers don't attack cars.  So we use our cars in the enclosures and quickly go to & from places we want to patronize, assuming there are not parking garages.  This will also cut down on obesity as fatties can't run very fast and will be quickly incentivized.  

For everyone else.  We get to utilize LE and traffic cameras and live-stream it via a new city station that will raise elventy billions dollars showing bands of camps fighting off hungry tigers

Done.

giphy.gif5646c4174677f9151b3f0534acdd0e0a.gif

Edited by BabaYaga
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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Posted

^

Pretty much.  When Chip "I'm What Ambien Takes when Ambien can't Fall Asleep" Roy chimes in and endorses you as the Family Values candidate, you're probably gonna win.  

If we have two open-Qanon cult members in the U.S. Congress, I guess 2020 has room for Fitlump as an elected official as well.  

Curious that Council's only other conservative female figure since 10-1 went into affect has been extraordinarily quiet on the topic of this runoff.  

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Pasken

Pasken 1309

Posted
Posted
32 minutes ago, Lobo said:

^

Pretty much.  When Chip "I'm What Ambien Takes when Ambien can't Fall Asleep" Roy chimes in and endorses you as the Family Values candidate, you're probably gonna win.  

If we have two open-Qanon cult members in the U.S. Congress, I guess 2020 has room for Fitlump as an elected official as well.  

Curious that Council's only other conservative female figure since 10-1 went into affect has been extraordinarily quiet on the topic of this runoff.  

Council has had 2 republican women. Troxclair and Gallo.

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Guest Lobo

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Posted
Posted (edited)
7 minutes ago, Pasken said:

Council has had 2 republican women. Troxclair and Gallo.

Yeah, Gallo is a fair point.  But I wouldn't call her "conservative" (maybe for an Austin council member, sure...but that's a different bar).  She was a center-right/chamber-of-commerce type Republican Lite.  Troxclair is hard-core, far-right conservative.  Even in another right-leaning city in Texas, Ellen would have been to the far, far right of the Dais.  FWIW-when asked what Councilmember she had the best working relationship with, Ellen said without hestitation-Ora Houston.  She considers her a dear friend and sister to this day.  She had a few perfunctory remarks about one or two other members, Gallo's name never came up.  Anyway, I'm guessing that Fitlump's past is slightly questionable to Ellen.  Just a hunch.

Edited by Lobo
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Pasken

Pasken 1309

Posted
Posted
Just now, Lobo said:

Yeah, Gallo is a fair point.  But I wouldn't call her "conservative."  She was a center-right/chamber-of-commerce type Republican Lite.  Troxclair is hard-core, far-right conservative.  Even in another right-leaning city in Texas, Ellen would have been to the far, far right of the Dais.  FWIW-when asked what Councilmember she had the best working relationship with, Ellen said without hestitation-Ora Houston.  She considers her a dear friend and sister to this day.  She had a few perfunctory remarks about one or two other members, Gallo's name never came up.  Anyway, I'm guessing that Fitlump's past is slightly questionable to Ellen.  Just a hunch.

ugh, Ora.

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blacklab

blacklab 11834

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Pasken said:

What is her history with Lance Armstrong? Is that real?

She posted some screenshots of texts from her phone from someone labeled "Lance" in which they talk about banging.

Due to the fact she lies about everything I would say it's <50% chance it was actually Lance Armstrong. 

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Bozo_Casanova

Bozo_Casanova 26114

Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, Lobo said:

Yeah, Gallo is a fair point.  But I wouldn't call her "conservative" (maybe for an Austin council member, sure...but that's a different bar).  She was a center-right/chamber-of-commerce type Republican Lite.  Troxclair is hard-core, far-right conservative.  Even in another right-leaning city in Texas, Ellen would have been to the far, far right of the Dais.  FWIW-when asked what Councilmember she had the best working relationship with, Ellen said without hestitation-Ora Houston.  She considers her a dear friend and sister to this day.  She had a few perfunctory remarks about one or two other members, Gallo's name never came up.  Anyway, I'm guessing that Fitlump's past is slightly questionable to Ellen.  Just a hunch.

Sherri Gallo was a very good council member who had a tough situation with the Austin Oaks zoning case and ran into a buzz saw on the basis of that case. Ellen Troxclair was a quite good council member who was broadly popular and could have continued to be re-elected had she wanted to. 
The fact that Ellen is a hard right conservative doesn’t really matter because partisan ideological alignment in the state/national context just isn’t relevant to the issue landscape at the municipal level in Austin. 


BTW- Ora Houston was terrible. She’s made tremendous contributions to the city as a civil rights leader but I don’t think I’ve ever been as disappointed in a member of council as I was with her. Natasha Harper-Madison is terrific. 

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Wally Pryor

Wally Pryor 5217

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, Dr. Beeper said:

Highly unlikely. Everything she does is for attention. If you were Lance why would you give that wildebeest the time of day. You wouldn’t. 

 
Lying, narcissistic, cheating pieces of shit tend to gravitate toward each other.   
 
Actually, Kelly is just a liar so maybe they didn't hook up. 
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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted
37 minutes ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

Sherri Gallo was a very good council member who had a tough situation with the Austin Oaks zoning case and ran into a buzz saw on the basis of that case. Ellen Troxclair was a quite good council member who was broadly popular and could have continued to be re-elected had she wanted to. 
The fact that Ellen is a hard right conservative doesn’t really matter because partisan ideological alignment in the state/national context just isn’t relevant to the issue landscape at the municipal level in Austin. 


BTW- Ora Houston was terrible. She’s made tremendous contributions to the city as a civil rights leader but I don’t think I’ve ever been as disappointed in a member of council as I was with her. Natasha Harper-Madison is terrific. 

No, I wasn't suggesting that Ellen's, or Sherri's, or anyone's spot on the traditional political spectrum makes much difference in how they govern at the municipal level.  But it sure as heck makes a difference through the lens by which voters view them/choose them.  For better or worse.  That's precisely why we have Mackenzie Kelly.  She had some thoughts on homelessness and property taxes.  Next thing we know, she's got Back the Blue and Boogaloo Bois hanging with her.  

Also true to your point...Ellen would have been re-elected but she wanted to grow her family and her business and went looking for worthy successors.  

I'm starting to think you and I know each other in real life.  

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ZB'Tejas

ZB'Tejas 593

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Posted

Not trying to be a Kelly fanboy here and she is not in my district but anyone that want to reinstate camping ban would get my support. Nothing good has come out of the past year and a half of homeless setting up permanent living structures where they want. Are the homeless better off and cared for now they can can live freely in a tent city in our waterways or underpasses? It seems that just causes way more harm than good.

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Born to Run

Born to Run 6414

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Posted
Not trying to be a Kelly fanboy here and she is not in my district but anyone that want to reinstate camping ban would get my support. Nothing good has come out of the past year and a half of homeless setting up permanent living structures where they want. Are the homeless better off and cared for now they can can live freely in a tent city in our waterways or underpasses? It seems that just causes way more harm than good.
What's your (final) solution?

Load em on a train to Houston?
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Born to Run

Born to Run 6414

Posted
Posted
Not trying to be a Kelly fanboy here and she is not in my district but anyone that want to reinstate camping ban would get my support. Nothing good has come out of the past year and a half of homeless setting up permanent living structures where they want. Are the homeless better off and cared for now they can can live freely in a tent city in our waterways or underpasses? It seems that just causes way more harm than good.
What's your (final) solution?

Load em on a train to Houston?
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Pasken

Pasken 1309

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Posted

Removing a camping ban doesn't cause people to be homeless. If you want to make a huge dent in the homeless population then raise the minimum wage and get the damn land use redo out of the courts and start building more dense housing. No city government can solve the homeless issue. It's a federal problem.

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dcar00

dcar00 13964

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, Pasken said:

Removing a camping ban doesn't cause people to be homeless. If you want to make a huge dent in the homeless population then raise the minimum wage and get the damn land use redo out of the courts and start building more dense housing. No city government can solve the homeless issue. It's a federal problem.

yeah that will do it.  these people are mentally ill remember? or at least I've been told that.

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TKthunder2

TKthunder2 4967

Posted
Posted (edited)
41 minutes ago, Pasken said:

Removing a camping ban doesn't cause people to be homeless. If you want to make a huge dent in the homeless population then raise the minimum wage and get the damn land use redo out of the courts and start building more dense housing. No city government can solve the homeless issue. It's a federal problem.

Edited to not turn this into CR

Edited by TKthunder2
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Jerry Callo

Jerry Callo 8634

Posted
Posted
18 minutes ago, TKthunder2 said:

Not going to weigh in on housing, but raising the minimum wage isn’t going to put a dent in homelessness when most of them refuse to or are unable to work/hold down jobs.

I suggest we go back to talking about the Cinderella story of Fitlump's rise to political significance. 

Refuting Pasken's (or anyone's) policy views takes this to CR rather quickly.

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Jerry Callo

Jerry Callo 8634

Posted
Posted
51 minutes ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Isn't this thread inherently political? Only difference is everybody pretty much agrees she is terrible.

Doesn't have to be.  If we found out the NotActuallyALonghorn was running for local dog catcher, someone would start a thread about it.  Regardless of your political or policy views, we would comment about your social media posts, the dumb things you say in public, that ill fitting sport coat you insist on wearing at every damn function, etc.

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