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Fitlump fucking won a Austin City Council seat, Now on to Congress 2026!

atomheartbevo

By atomheartbevo
in Daily Texan

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I personally have no idea what you're referring to, but I did see this online.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted

Districts are being redrawn anyway, or at least a proposed re-draw will go before the City.  I'm betting dollars to donuts her's is first in the queue.  

But yeah, if you had to guess which district has the citizen of Austin least likely to see the CBD of Austin in a given month, it'd be 6.  Well done lady Lump.  

What a world...

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woohorn

woohorn 1130

Posted
Posted
Screenshot-20201215-222656-KUT.jpg
Cont'd:
"From standing courageously behind our law enforcement community to demanding safer conditions for our homeless population to fighting for transparency at City Hall, the voice of Northwest Austin is [sic] has been heard," she wrote. "Considering the stark differences between my campaign's priorities and the platform of the incumbent, their united voice is resoundingly clear this evening."
Her first official press release had a typo...or she could've been rambling drunk. [sic] not added by me.
 
That is a fuckin gruesome pic
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Stinkpalm

Stinkpalm 675

Posted
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1 hour ago, atomheartbevo said:

You know what this means?  We need to get somebody from Surly elected.  Somebody that

  • Has custody of their children
  • Hasn't been recently fired
  • Isn't being sued by an employer
  • Hasn't posted newds on the internets.
  • Didn't get pulled over, lied to the cop, then fucking admit to it on social media
  • Didn't fuck, or at least didn't claim to fuck Lance Armstrong and then posts texts
  • Didn't fuck Romeo Rose
  • Hasn't hung out with Owen Shroyerwhateverthefuckhisnameis
  • Hasn't done a shout-out to those dipshit qanons that TexAgs loves
  • Doesn't try to claim an association with Harvard in any way
  • If a claim of disaster scientist is to be made, they must always be pictured on social media as following proper protocols during a fucking pandemic.

Shouldn't be hard to do.

Furk... I was nailing the interview until you got to the Romeo Rose part

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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 89279

Posted
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Posted
1 hour ago, Upgrayedd said:

OK.  I gotta ask.  What in the fuck is going on with y'all out there?

1 hour ago, hitbyatrain said:

Honestly this is the funniest fucking thing I've seen in years, congrats, gents, we finally did it

53 minutes ago, Michael Knight said:

sweet jesus what is happening

1 hour ago, Zepol87 said:

Haha holy shit. How in the fuck does this happen? This is wild

Fucking 2020.

All we need is a time traveler showing up, asking what the date is, and then losing their shit.

 

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B00M

B00M 6212

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, BradInATX said:

To be fair, that district is the worst, most devoid of culture, strip mally part of Austin.

If you imagine a dumpy strip mall pool hall as a neighborhood, that would be district 6.

Worst district in Austin? YeahOK.gif ... Home valuations in district 6 are through the roof because of the schools. Biggest Asian population in Austin by number and percentage, so I guess just not the cultures you want? But yeah it's geographically basically Cedar Park with round rock schools. 

Besides, you just described at least all of North Austin. And in covid's wake, all of every US city in 2021... Anyway, I can't wait to see when people realize the incompetence they voted in.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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I had the strangest dream last night that FitLump, who officially went by "health care manager" on the Statesman website in my dream, won a City Council seat against a gay Irishman because her and a roving gang of bikers promised to get the tent cities off the access roads in the city I love.  But...that can't be right.  Can it?  

I almost feel bad for her a little bit.  She doesn't know what she's in for.  A lot of that dais, including the mayor, are going to try to embarrass her with procedural rules and granularities...far beyond what they would do for any other new member.  What they don't realize though, what Surly has known for years, is that this woman has no shame.  You can't embarrass her. 

Take Gallo, Zimmerman, and Troxclair.  The rest of Council, and especially the Mayor, tried to embarrass and ostracize them.  But those were three people, no matter your politics, who were well versed on procedure, they knew their policy data, and personality-wise...they were not easily intimidated at all.  They spoke for the entire of Austin right-leaning citizens.  FitLump now carries that mantle and sadly for them, she is going to fail spectacularly.  I think a lot of people around the city, not just her district, put a lot of faith in her efforts to help steer Council towards some semblance of sanity.  But yeah...that ain't happenin' 

 

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smokebomb

smokebomb 357

Posted
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A few comments on this impending train wreck:

  1. A challenger seems to always have an advantage in a runoff, especially since their supporters are more likely to to make the effort to come out & vote. Just look at Cruz defeating Dewhurst. Once she made the runoff, she had a very real chance of winning. 
  2. No one should be surprised about the Statesman’s shitty reporting. Armybrat might be the only one here who can remember when they last had any journalistic ability. 
  3. I think she is an awful candidate & will likely do more harm than good for District 6 & Austin but she is a direct result of the Austin City council’s kumbaya, tone-deaf policies. 
  4. For decent a summary of her past internet history, including her Shaggy posts, a reddit poster linked to the following blog archive (may have been posted in this thread earlier): https://archive.is/ivW52

2020 - the gift that just keeps on giving. 

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phdhorn

phdhorn 6224

Posted
Posted

My reaction:

FAz3.gif

Perfect.  Austin City Council is the dumspter fires of dumpster fires.  It fully deserves to be as terrible as any human institution can be.  Now it's close.

Fitlumpy - you go girl!  Take you batshit cray and completely, utterly psychotic persona and drag what's left of a pile of garbage down into the landfill!

Atta girl!  LOL,

 

sfvEvQn.gif

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phdhorn

phdhorn 6224

Posted
Posted (edited)

Does anyone have a full-size gif of her doing her "football fast step" workout?  We need to post that prominently.

The only thing that's left to make this a perfect world is to find out down the line that Greg Casar is fucking around with her.  Please Number One, make it happen!

Edited by phdhorn
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Shaggy3.0

Shaggy3.0 1695

Posted
Posted
6 minutes ago, phdhorn said:

Does anyone have a full-size gif of her doing her "football fast step" workout?  We need to post that prominently.

The only thing that's left to make this a perfect world is to find out down the line that Greg Casar is fucking around with her.  Please Number One, make it happen!

It's totally within the realm of possibility that Greg Casar could see a sloppy wet pussy in front of him and NOT know what to do--even with Lump.  Heh

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