Fitlump fucking won a Austin City Council seat, Now on to Congress 2026!

[atomheartbevo 89275]

On 7/28/2021 at 12:03 AM, washparkhorn said:

She's good at this.

She's becoming sentient.  She made it on Fox News again this morning, so a nation-wide audience is seeing her again.

 

[atomheartbevo 89275]

 

[Wally Fairway 5500]

14 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

 

Does that buy her 1 vote/each in the next election?
(though I give credit to her staff for doing this

[atomheartbevo 89275]

@washparkhorn It's like she has somebody speaking into an earpiece, telling her everything to say.

It really is fucking creepy.  I thought this would be the ceiling for her.

 

[atomheartbevo 89275]

[washparkhorn 9926]

19 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

@washparkhorn It's like she has somebody speaking into an earpiece, telling her everything to say.

It really is fucking creepy.  I thought this would be the ceiling for her.

 

Speechwriter on the team, I would guess. Smart. I am not saying she is becoming an empty suit, but that is the way it works. 

She is doing a reverse Krysten Sinema, in my opinion. That will play well with many Austin citizens and works for those with business in front of the Council. 

Edited July 30, 2021 by washparkhorn
No offense intended to anyone, including the councilperson and her staff (i.e., Kelly do not put me in the Denver Airport Detention facilities when you become the Homeland Security Secretary. Thanks.)

[miguelito 11147]

19 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

 

back to tokens, huh?

[atomheartbevo 89275]

[demos 2979]

We are so fucked.

I blame all of you who wanted to see her tits.

[atomheartbevo 89275]

1 hour ago, demos said:

We are so fucked.

I blame all of you who wanted to see her tits.

Dude, she has emergency management skills!

 

Edited July 31, 2021 by atomheartbevo

[BearMace 2183]

Her grasp of the English language is atrocious. 

[Doc Reeves 6434]

8 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

Christ on a cracker…

[atomheartbevo 89275]

1 hour ago, BearMace said:

Her grasp of the English language is atrocious. 

Her speechwriter should handle her tweets.

16 minutes ago, Doc Reeves said:

Christ on a cracker…

If you could take that picture back in time to Shaggy 5 years ago, the conversation would be:

2021 Surly: Check out this picture of Fitlump and the Austin City Council

2015 Shaggy: Holy fuck, why did security let her get behind the dais and why are those people wearing masks?

2021 Surly: The masks are because we are still in a global pandemic that's been going on since January of 2020.

2021 Surly:  She's behind the dais because she's a member of the Austin City Council.

2015 Shaggy: So the pandemic killed almost everybody and Fitlump got drafted to be on the city council?

2021 Surly: No, it only killed a thousand people in Travis County.  Fitlump was duly elected.

2015 Shaggy: 

[Doc Reeves 6434]

2 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Her speechwriter should handle her tweets.

If you could take that picture back in time to Shaggy 5 years ago, the conversation would be:

2021 Surly: Check out this picture of Fitlump and the Austin City Council

2015 Shaggy: Holy fuck, why did security let her get behind the dais and why are those people wearing masks?

2021 Surly: The masks are because we are still in a global pandemic that's been going on since January of 2020.

2021 Surly:  She's behind the dais because she's a member of the Austin City Council.

2015 Shaggy: So the pandemic killed almost everybody and Fitlump got drafted to be on the city council?

2021 Surly: No, it only killed a thousand people in Travis County.  Fitlump was duly elected.

2015 Shaggy: 

2021 Surly:

Wait till you find out about Trump

2015 Shaggy:

Donald Trump? The guy with the steaks and phony college? Why? 

[atomheartbevo 89275]

2 minutes ago, Doc Reeves said:

2021 Surly:

Wait till you find out about Trump

Better:

2021 Surly: The most popular TV show on Netflix during 2020 at the start of the pandemic is a real-life documentary about a gay Okie who has hundreds of tigers, two husbands, a shitload of guns, and he was arrested for trying to have that bitch Carole Baskin killed.  And that bitch Carole Baskin may have killed her ex-husband and fed him to her own tigers, and she even talks about how she would have done it in the show.  And the most sympathetic/nicest character on the show is a guy who was a real-life Cuban drug lord in Miami who served a dozen years in prison for having a federal informant murdered. Oh and the ex-drug lord was the inspiration for Tony Montana/Scarface.

And UT and OU are joining the SEC.

2015 Shaggy: 

2021 Surly: And Fltlump was elected in 2020, and will probably cruise to reelection.  The taxpayers are giving her $75,000 a year in salary, plus she gets a staff to work for her.

2015 Shaggy:

 

[atomheartbevo 89275]

She has been going through her accomplishments on social media, in addition to the disaster scientist thing above.

 

[atomheartbevo 89275]

She's concerned about covid cases maxing out our hospitals, as you'll see over the next three posts.

 

[atomheartbevo 89275]

[atomheartbevo 89275]

Williamson County is going through some serious shit with covid (as are all of the surrounding counties)

 

[Underdog 28359]

1 hour ago, atomheartbevo said:

Ewww, he's touching me. 

[Guest Lobo]

I love that Fitlump showed up to an indoor water park on a summer Saturday in that fucking red "formal gown"  

[washparkhorn 9926]

2 hours ago, Lobo said:

I love that Fitlump showed up to an indoor water park on a summer Saturday in that fucking red "formal gown"  

It's a mandatory uniform for young politicians at that type of event. Establishes authority. Shows the politician as earnest and professional. It's akin to a judge's robe. 

 

[atomheartbevo 89275]

14 hours ago, washparkhorn said:

It's a mandatory uniform 

You know what's mandatory for Kelly?  Jumping at weddings.

 

[RPM 26138]

You did this to yourself Austin Surlies. I blame you.

[Deej 76289]

I really hope she gets a first-hand look at how ICU's are dealing with COVID. 

[atomheartbevo 89275]

9 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

You know what's mandatory for Kelly?  Jumping at weddings.

She's reading this thread.

 

[Eskimohorn 5579]

She's reading this thread.
 

Surly, you magnificent bastard! I read your book!

[The University 850]

On 7/31/2021 at 5:27 PM, atomheartbevo said:

 

worst orgy ever. thanks for the nightmares

[Guest Lobo]

Not judging the dude on the left, I'm a bit barrel-chested myself.  But why's he humping on the heat lamp?  

He's making Fitlump uncomfortable, and that's not easy to do.  

Edited August 2, 2021 by Lobo

[smuggs 9318]

[Guest Lobo]

I love lump.  

[baboso 6041]

Same red dress.

[washparkhorn 9926]

4 hours ago, Lobo said:

Not judging the dude on the left, I'm a bit barrel-chested myself.

We call it barrel-chested now? 

Very polite of you. 

Robert Mitcham was barrel-chested. He said he kept in shape by laying down a lot:

[Pasken 1309]

23 hours ago, RPM said:

You did this to yourself Austin Surlies. I blame you.

Her policies mirror most of the request DT posters so I don't know what they're complaining about. She's the hero they deserve. 

[atomheartbevo 89275]

[atomheartbevo 89275]

New red dress?

 

[atomheartbevo 89275]

 

[baboso 6041]

9 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

New red dress?

 

That 75K a year ain't gonna spend itself.

[Eskimohorn 5579]

That 75K a year ain't gonna spend itself.

Good for her. It’ll make duplex hunting off Anderson Mill much easier before she puts in a Craigslist ad for a roommate to split the rent. Maybe she’ll splurge and pay an extra $100 to get the Master Suite.

[atomheartbevo 89275]

12 hours ago, baboso said:

That 75K a year ain't gonna spend itself.

Gotta throw some blue in the mix.

 

[atomheartbevo 89275]

Did not picture her as a scooter rider, but I would not stop laughing for a long time if I saw her riding around on one.

 

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4962]

I thought she was the scooter...

[RamjetFDO 10550]

I thought she was the scooter...

Thought that was referred to as a moped?

[atomheartbevo 89275]

1 hour ago, RamjetFDO said:

1 hour ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

I thought she was the scooter...

Thought that was referred to as a moped?

You really want to ride one, but don't want to be seen riding it?

[Shaggy3.0 1694]

Holee sheet.  I saw Adler in a tweet.  Dude looks pregnant.  Who's the father?

 

[JesusSweatDuck 17780]

7 hours ago, RamjetFDO said:

7 hours ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

I thought she was the scooter...

Thought that was referred to as a moped?

Don't insult Mopeds like that

[NOMAAA 1696]

On 8/4/2021 at 10:54 PM, atomheartbevo said:

she is lying.

 

[atomheartbevo 89275]

 

She really should have taken this photo, slapped the words "Forged of a Fitter Lump" on it, and used it as the cover of her autobiography.

 

[UTCzech III 2893]

On 8/5/2021 at 8:48 PM, atomheartbevo said:

Did not picture her as a scooter rider, but I would not stop laughing for a long time if I saw her riding around on one.

 

Meaningful changes, like don't run a red light on a scooter at 2 in the morning and you won't wind up roadkill (thoughts and prayers...)

[demos 2979]

 
She really should have taken this photo, slapped the words "Forged of a Fitter Lump" on it, and used it as the cover of her autobiography.
 

Hey, I can see my office from there.

Also, which state legislators office did she wrangle an invite from to get up there?