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Fitlump fucking won a Austin City Council seat, Now on to Congress 2026!

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By atomheartbevo
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MissingInAction

MissingInAction 24668

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28 minutes ago, demos said:


There was one dude running in 4 different states in 2014. He only had to be a resident by the general election, so could run in the primaries without being one:

https://www.cnn.com/2014/01/23/politics/running-for-congress-in-four-states/index.html

I suggest the same for fitlump. Hopefully she’ll win a primary in another state.

Not the method I expected her sickness to spread.

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I personally have no idea what you're referring to, but I did see this online.

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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 104065

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John Carter in TX31 is older than Moses. She'll move to Liberty Hill and be his hand picked successor in 2024. Because that's my district and fuck this timeline. 

I appeared in front of him when he was a judge in Wilco….that was probably 24 years ago or so?

One of my worst performances as a lawyer, by the way. Stepped on my own dick the entire hearing. Saved it with a strong closing, but not really. Got really drunk afterwards.
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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Holy shit, Ellen Troxclair was running for State Senate up until last night.  She's experienced, well respected in establishment GOP corners, has all the right fundraising connections, etc.  Suddenly completely shifts course and decides to run for TX House District 19.  Bit of a step down from State Senate, which I think she had a real shot at winning.  This district 19 election is a layup for her.  Based on its new lines, it should go 70-30 R over D.  /noCR

Word on the street is Fitlump has been anointed by the party brokers as their choice to run for the State Senate seat.  They think she's got the star power that a more measured and thoughtful elected official like Troxclair lacks.  And Ellen was one of her earliest supporters.  

We are in the weirdest fucking timeline.  

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Guest Lobo

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Ellen doesn't live in House District 19 either.  Plus that State Senate map may not last after the next edit.  

Fitlump is their leader now.  What the fuck?  

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Gatorubet

Gatorubet 29914

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This stupid cunt will end up as a senator or governor some day b/c we are a state of morons.

I’ve been reflecting on this, and given her predilection of lying, claiming and/or magnifying accomplishments she did not earn, attention whoring and media fixation, this resultvis nothing more than her finally matching that skill set to her ideal fit job - politician.

Now, her sordid tit showing, shit-show of a mom past might have prevented her advancing back in the day, but with the new MAGA GOP’s jettisoning of moral unfitness as a job disqualifying character trait, she is really the perfect person in the perfect place at the perfect time.
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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Whoah, whoah...let's keep this non-CR.  After all, technically she ran for a non-party affiliated position.  

But she has threaded the needle extremely well.  Nobody in her early supporters group was aware about her illicit past, or those that did chose to ignore it and/or help keep it quiet.  She ran a good campaign.  She's been non-batshit crazy on the dais, even made some surprise alliances, while still sticking to a few core issues important to her base.  All the while garnering lots a lots of attention and inquiry.  She has delivered, you gotta give her credit. 

But State Senator?  C'mon.  She shouldn't be let anywhere near a position like that.  But the handlers of Fitlump look at candidates like Marjorie Taylor Greene and Loren Boebert, and figure (and correctly so)..."Why couldn't we make Mackenzie the next one of those?"  Plus Kelly doesn't come with baggage like pedophile husband or Jewish space lasers like those other two.  She's only 35 but somebody from up on high has decided she's the next "it" girl in Texas.  I'm honestly impressed. 

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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 89273

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14 minutes ago, Lobo said:

She's been non-batshit crazy on the dais, even made some surprise alliances, while still sticking to a few core issues important to her base.  All the while garnering lots a lots of attention and inquiry.  She has delivered, you gotta give her credit. 

And she made alliances with people/groups that caused her grief with some of her followers, but it helped her in the long run (and her followers forgave her).

I'm impressed as well.

But also it's fucking 2021, which is really 2020 Won, so...

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Guest Lobo

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Nope, she's close to 10 miles from the borders of 19.  Which is fine.  With her real estate and GOP connections, they could easily find a house to rent out there to "establish roots."  But she'll be fine without the hassle.  Plus three young kids and an elderly relative living there, it's not worth the hassle.  The RPT won't let anyone of note run out there and she'll coast to victory as a concession.  It's Fitlump's situation to fuck up now.  There are a few other candidate possibiilities waiting in the wings.  Obviously some will wait until the map situation shakes out, and to see if the primary calendar is altered because of that shaking out.  We should have our  slates settled by Thanksgiving.  Gonna be a roller-coaster

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TexArcher

TexArcher 37357

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5 hours ago, Lidig8r said:

Yup...

https://www.foxnews.com/media/austin-city-council-disastrous-consequences-defunding-police-911-calls

 

So, she's gone from selling her panties online and gyrating for virgin boys who apparently haven't discovered the rest of the internet yet, to the auspicious post of Disaster Scientist (degree not required), to City Coucilwoman, to reciting GOP talking points on the national news.  And she's not even pretty.

It's really amazing.

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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 89273

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44 minutes ago, TexArcher said:

So, she's gone from selling her panties online and gyrating for virgin boys who apparently haven't discovered the rest of the internet yet, to the auspicious post of Disaster Scientist (degree not required), to City Coucilwoman, to reciting GOP talking points on the national news.  And she's not even pretty.

It's really amazing.

It makes you think that quite a few of us reading this thread could stop wasting our time on porn and video games and instead put our free time into following her path and getting elected to the City Council.

I'm not sure what we would do for Surly on that platform.  Probably something about tailgating on city property on game days or something, I'm sure they've got some nearby property that we could use.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Then I wouldn't take a nap if I were you, 'cause where we're going next year...oh-ho...you ain't gonna fucking believe the next level of shit they got planned.  

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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5 hours ago, drt said:

I always joked with my more conservative family at Thanksgiving about Leslie running for Mayor.  To Supertroopers, those shenanigans were fun.  This just seems cruel and tragic.

 

Which makes them not really fit lumps at all.  Evil lumps, really.  

"Hey Farva, what's that gym with the craft beer bar and the shit all over the walls you like to go to?"

FitLumps?  You guys talking about FitLumps?!?!?!

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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And what did they try to do to those brave Vermont officers?  They tried to defund them!  And look what happened, drugs and murder ran rampant through the streets of Spurbury, VT.  But FitLump stood the watch and got those guys their funding.  And something, something...threesome Linda Carter.  

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bolverk

bolverk 29130

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2 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Feels like we should go through the old sites and publicly shame those who encouraged her in everything she was doing, because it all led to this.

 

The squirrel got nuked, so good luck with that. Can't even pull up the non-censored pics of her tits if you tried (unless one of the degenerates around here saved them). Speaking of which, when are Nicole's three weeks up, and is she planning to make a run?

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Deej

Deej 76288

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52 minutes ago, bolverk said:

The squirrel got nuked, so good luck with that. Can't even pull up the non-censored pics of her tits if you tried (unless one of the degenerates around here saved them). Speaking of which, when are Nicole's three weeks up, and is she planning to make a run?

Nicole for city council!

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