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Fitlump fucking won a Austin City Council seat, Now on to Congress 2026!

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By atomheartbevo
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Judge Roybeanbag

Judge Roybeanbag 11860

Posted
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19 minutes ago, NorthLoop said:

So those biker fucks run a meth lab, "donate" the money to one of these conservative groups anonymously through several individuals - it gets sent to pinpoint, who chalks it up to "consulting" -  then the money goes back to the bikers.....

 

4pog5w.jpg

And John Mueller is their accountant.

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I personally have no idea what you're referring to, but I did see this online.

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Pasken

Pasken 1311

Posted
Posted
27 minutes ago, NorthLoop said:

So those biker fucks run a meth lab, "donate" the money to one of these conservative groups anonymously through several individuals - it gets sent to pinpoint, who chalks it up to "consulting" -  then the money goes back to the bikers.....

 

4pog5w.jpg

Good lord... could you imagine if this thread eventually is chronicling her trial? Insane. 

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Pasken

Pasken 1311

Posted
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7 minutes ago, Dr. Beeper said:

She’s raising this much money because Jimmy Flannigan is that bad and hated. Whatever she stands for is perceived to be much preferable to him. The problem is these people don’t know her. Like my buddy that @Bozo_Casanova knows.  That guy doesn’t live in District 6 (lives in Tarrytown) but wants anyone but Flannigan.

 

You're exaggerating. He still got 2.5k more votes than Kelly in the November election. He's polarizing but popular in Williamson.

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Bozo_Casanova

Bozo_Casanova 26847

Posted
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20 minutes ago, Dr. Beeper said:

She’s raising this much money because Jimmy Flannigan is that bad and hated. Whatever she stands for is perceived to be much preferable to him. The problem is these people don’t know her. Like my buddy that @Bozo_Casanova knows.  That guy doesn’t live in District 6 (lives in Tarrytown) but wants anyone but Flannigan.

 

Should I just call his sister and explain?

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Pasken

Pasken 1311

Posted
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1 minute ago, Dr. Beeper said:

Kelly was split by two other conservatives. She’ll win the runoff. I’m not exaggerating when I say plenty of people in Austin think he’s terrible and crazy, and that’s where her money is coming from. 

You're acting like he doesn't raise money. He raises more than she does. How does that work if money=popularity. She's also not going to win.

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Pasken

Pasken 1311

Posted
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13 minutes ago, Dr. Beeper said:

He’s an established candidate. My comment on her has nothing to with the money he raises. There are enough people that detest the ACC policies that they are throwing behind anyone who has a shot to defeat one of them. 

Man you're still not getting the huge logical flaw here. If he is an incumbent and the amount of money he raises is irrelevant to popularity then you have nothing to compare his opponent's popularity to with respect to what she raises. By your logic, challengers will always be more popular than incumbents.

 

More importantly, I don't know if you are actually reading the camapign finance reports. Her biggest donors that are maxing out their donations for their entire family are the same names you see backing other republican PACS and causes like anti prop A, anti convention center, anti rezoning etc. This has nothing to do with Jimmy as a candidate and everything to do with a purple district that is winnable for the GOP due to demographics. A carrot could raise the same amount of money as Kelly if it was running on the GOP platform.

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bolverk

bolverk 30323

Posted
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Those two from Pinpoint that Judge tracked down look like a couple of metrosexual graphic designers that specialize in marketing material for political campaigns. So, if I were being generous, I suppose that their high expenses could be related to printing costs for her signs and whatnot. As to the question related to filing requirements, I have no idea.

https://www.instagram.com/tommycougs/

https://www.instagram.com/joshdeford.png/?hl=en

https://joshdeford.me/

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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 106889

Posted
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48 minutes ago, Pasken said:

This has nothing to do with Jimmy as a candidate and everything to do with a purple district that is winnable for the GOP due to demographics. A carrot could raise the same amount of money as Kelly if it was running on the GOP platform.

This.  This is just a straight-up partisan election.  Using GOP-type buzzwords on a GOP-lean district ("Back our police!") is the entire campaign.  The candidate could be a jello mold (which would also have 10X the integrity of the current candidate), and the results would be the same.  The problem with the current iteration of the GOP is that they are not only doing zero screening of their candidates, it seems that their main criterion for candidate selection is "can they rile up the batshit crazies who are an essential part of our current coalition?"

She is going to win.  She is not the first insane, garbage GOP candidate to win an election.  And there are going to be many more follow.

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BradInATX

BradInATX 9208

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It's kind of hilarious to realize that she's failed at being a mother, an internet celebrity, and most of her corporate jobs, and yet she's going to succeed at winning an election.

Then it hits you and becomes sobering when you realize that our government is filled with hundreds and thousands of Fitlumps, for whom the only thing they were able to succeed at in life is getting elected to make decisions for our societies.

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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 106889

Posted
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3 minutes ago, BradInATX said:

It's kind of hilarious to realize that she's failed at being a mother, an internet celebrity, and most of her corporate jobs, and yet she's going to succeed at winning an election.

Then it hits you and becomes sobering when you realize that our government is filled with hundreds and thousands of Fitlumps, for whom the only thing they were able to succeed at in life is getting elected to make decisions for our societies.

Generally, at local elections.....that has NOT been the case.  Sure, they are largely your friends and neighbors, some of whom are no great geniuses, or who may have some sketchy history with their ex or whatnot.  But generally, a history of insane batshittery and serial dishonesty like hers keeps her from getting very far in the vetting process.

What has happened is a transformation in American politics.  Batshittery is no longer a bug of a certain political movement, it's a feature.  This is going to get a LOT worse.

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Shaggy3.0

Shaggy3.0 1695

Posted
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30 minutes ago, BradInATX said:

It's kind of hilarious to realize that she's failed at being a mother, an internet celebrity, and most of her corporate jobs, and yet she's going to succeed at winning an election.

Then it hits you and becomes sobering when you realize that our government is filled with hundreds and thousands of Fitlumps, for whom the only thing they were able to succeed at in life is getting elected to make decisions for our societies.

Yes. This right here. This man has it figured out.  And if she wins, I bet she has a good chance to become a career politician.  Are we about to get fucked? Nope. We're already fucked.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted (edited)
48 minutes ago, BradInATX said:

It's kind of hilarious to realize that she's failed at being a mother, an internet celebrity, and most of her corporate jobs, and yet she's going to succeed at winning an election.

Then it hits you and becomes sobering when you realize that our government is filled with hundreds and thousands of Fitlumps, for whom the only thing they were able to succeed at in life is getting elected to make decisions for our societies.

You're shocked that a shitty parent, who got famous using social media and game show appearances, who failed at most private enterprise, can win an measly city council election?

Oh shit, I'm sorry.  I'm being insensitive to someone who must have been in a coma for the last four years.  Good to have you back, let me get you a toothbrush. 

Edited by Lobo
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bolverk

bolverk 30323

Posted
Posted (edited)

Got curious and checked the cost of yard signs since I really have no frame of reference. According to here, a high-quality, 2-sided, digitally-printed yard sign is about $4 with an additional $1 for the wire frame. So, $125,000 would buy 25,000 yard signs. Obviously, there are no where not that many. So, factor in the consulting fee for the designs themselves, I could imagine a generous $10-20,000 expense and maybe a pick-up/delivery charge from the printer of $X?.

Yeah, I would conservatively guess about half of that $125,000 is missing.

Edited by bolverk
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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
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^

Y'all are stuck in a 20th century campaign mindset.  She's running a 21st century campaign.  It's not just yardsigns anymore.  It's CamGirl channel production costs, it's Family Court fees, it's EMT training materials, and campaign events.  While y'all are busy pricing out hard media costs, she's out there inexplicably paying thousands of dollars for the use of a free pavilion at the community park for her WTFrider friends.  Get with it y'all.  

Any politician, regardless of party, having that many line items for in-person fundraisers in 2020 should be in fucking prison.

Having said all that, we have a number of reasonable and very well-informed posters on this site that are politically active in Austin.  And not a fucking one of us could get our concerns with Council noticed despite our networks and informed opinions.  But this train wreck of a human being is probably gonna shine more light on a few key issues purely by anecdote and accident.  Ever just think shit's getting a little bit better in 2020, and then you look around, "Fuck, this might as well happen too."  

The official "Councilwoman Kelley 2021" thread is gonna be pretty fucking funny.  Odds are 5-1, she sicks her biker goon friends on Surlyhorns before long.  I'd be more worried if, from a distance, they all didn't look like shift managers from a Village Inn restaurant.

She's gonna win this goofy fucking thing, I can feel it.  Some of you fucking D-10 progressives are gonna yearn for the days of Don Zimmerman.  Say what you want about the guy, at least he knew how to do basic arithmetic.  

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Armybrat

Armybrat 41399

Posted
Posted (edited)
14 minutes ago, bolverk said:

Got curious and checked the cost of yard signs since I really have no frame of reference. According to here, a high-quality, 2-sided, digitally-printed yard sign is about $4 with an additional $1 for the wire frame. So, $125,000 would buy 25,000 yard signs. Obviously, there are no where not that many. So, factor in the consulting fee for the designs themselves, I could imagine a generous $10-20,000 expense and maybe a pick-up/delivery charge from the printer of $X?.

Yeah, I would conservatively guess about half of that $125,000 is missing.

That new blue dress must’ve been expensive.

Anyways, lookee what I got in the mail yesterday.... and we don’t even live in Austin:

 

 

C81989BD-F58E-45B5-81B3-52C5FA1A5BB7.jpeg

 

Edited by Armybrat
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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Posted (edited)

Can we do like an internet color of dress debate from 2015 thing on here?  

Mackenzie in her 'red' dress and Mackenzie in her 'blue' dress, side by side with her in same hair/makeup/pose/background. 

But the poll isn't about the color, the question is, 'Which dress contains a woman who is not allowed to see her children?' 

2020 is 15 minutes away from having her named as an associate of Nate Paul, I can feel it.  

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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 90642

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49 minutes ago, Lobo said:

She's gonna win this goofy fucking thing, I can feel it. 

So can we start guessing who she is going to appoint to various boards and commissions, since she'll have that power?

http://austintexas.gov/department/boards-and-commissions

Where does she put Alex Jones?  One of the boards covering the police?  

Does Romeo Rose get a seat on the Music Commission?

Does Lance get a seat on the Parks Rec board?

Edited by atomheartbevo
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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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The colorful cast of characters she appoints to even the more serious boards/commissions is going to be very interesting. 

First off, all the regulars at the Water Tank will get a spot.  There'll be a curious overlap of her Camgirl channel premium subscribers and those newly appointed to powerful boards/commissions.  Though he doesn't technically live in the district, I think James Hong will inexplicably get a choice appointment.  And what seems like an innocent moment of levity, several WTFbikers will be placed in key board appointments with regard to transportation and bike lines.  Years later, Austinites will look back in horror at the "biker lane" incident in NW Austin of June 2023.  

I can't wait to see who she picks for her Chief of Staff.  

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Guest Lobo

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I should be laughing, but why do I get a really weird vibe that he's a distinct possibility?  I forget sometimes that he graduated from Princeton and got an MBA from UT.  

he's been quiet since he lost out on SBOE, so it makes sense he'd choose FitLump's train to ride back into the limelight on.  Maybe he'll bring his buddy Roger Stone with him back to Austin.  Though I've noticed Roger distancing himself from knowing Morrow the last couple years.  Must be troubling when a guy convicted of 7 Felonies looks at you and thinks, "I gotta write books with different people."  

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Lauded?   Noticed?  Surly famous?  
 

I don’t know what she did or who she blew but I really think she’s gonna pull this off.  I’m morbidly wanting to see her stir shit up for whoever is gonna run for Adler’s Spot in 2022.  She’s gonna be the 2020 political hangover that never ends.  She’ll be reminding us of this fucked up year for decades to come.  Like herpes or luggage.  

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El Diablo

El Diablo 4232

Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, Lobo said:

Lauded?   Noticed?  Surly famous?  
 

I don’t know what she did or who she blew but I really think she’s gonna pull this off.  I’m morbidly wanting to see her stir shit up for whoever is gonna run for Adler’s Spot in 2022.  She’s gonna be the 2020 political hangover that never ends.  She’ll be reminding us of this fucked up year for decades to come.  Like herpes or luggage.  

Luggage herpes, those tags the airlines use for checked bags. You rip 'em off but if you keep flying you're just going to have to get used to the fact - you've got the baggage herp. She's Austin's baggage now.  

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MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8350

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Posted
On 12/9/2020 at 11:38 AM, Brisketexan said:

This.  This is just a straight-up partisan election.  Using GOP-type buzzwords on a GOP-lean district ("Back our police!") is the entire campaign.  The candidate could be a jello mold (which would also have 10X the integrity of the current candidate) 

 

 

7 hours ago, BradInATX said:

Man imagine rolling into a Navy ball with her and thinking that girl is arm candy that's going to make your friends super jealous. Yikes. 

As I live way down in the sticks I've got no dog in this hunt (other than basic human decency) but this thread is entertaining as hell.

And I'd rather stick my dick in a jello mold than this critter. I am usually pretty charitable grading out looks but that chick is just fucking ugly as homemade sin, inside and out. 

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