I regularly pee in my backyard.

[smwhorn 482]

Do you (not in mine but in yours)?

[ernest_t_bass 1,196]

I live in the country, so yes.  I pee off the front step when it's dark. 

[Sawbonz 27,546]

Every chance I get

[Walden Ponderer 12,639]

Only to mark my territory.

[tejas60 3,533]

especially when I wake up at night and need to pee. skeeters are starting to get bad, though.

[Prepuce of Doom 21,061]

I live in the city so I just piss out my bedroom window. 

[Walden Ponderer 12,639]

3 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

I live in the city so I just piss out my bedroom window. 

That's funny. I usually just piss in your bedroom window.

[ButtFumble 5,172]

reporting this thread on nextdoor ASAP

[Whitman 694]

I pee in your mom's butt.

[SDG 3,319]

27 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

I live in the city so I just piss out my bedroom window. 

I received a ticket for peeing in public once so this hits close to home.

 

(ticket was later dropped as the cop didn’t show up to verify that I “had my penis in hand”-per police report.). 

[Walden Ponderer 12,639]

Just now, SDG said:

I received a ticket for peeing in public once so this hits close to home.

 

(ticket was later dropped as the cop didn’t show up to verify that I “had my penis in hand”-per police report.). 

So it's legal to pee in public so long as you're flying free without manual support?  Good to know.

[El Diablo 4,232]

It's how I know if it's time to mow the grass. Duh.

[SDG 3,319]

3 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

So it's legal to pee in public so long as you're flying free without manual support?  Good to know.

Not sure about that, but the officer wrote he saw me “penis in hand“ on the report.  I disputed that and because he didn’t so up to court I was free to go.  The judge laughed out loud on the bench though so I have a good bar story.  

Edited April 14, 2018 by SDG

[ButtFumble 5,172]

3 minutes ago, SDG said:

Not sure about that, but the officer wrote he saw me “penis in hand“ on the report.  I disputed that and because he didn’t so up to court I was free to go.  The judge laughed out loud on the bench though so I have a good bar story.  

didn't you see him sneaking up on you with the giant magnifying glass?

[ernest_t_bass 1,196]

6 minutes ago, ButtFumble said:

didn't you see him sneaking up on you with the giant magnifying glass?

Who pisses with a giant magnifying glass in their hand?

[ButtFumble 5,172]

2 minutes ago, ernest_t_bass said:

Who pisses with a giant magnifying glass in their hand?

 

the cop sneaking up had the giant magnifying glass  so he could see if said dick was in hand

[Celery Man 20,934]

My dog pees, the little dog pees over his pee, sometimes I pee on top of that just to show them who’s boss.

[ernest_t_bass 1,196]

2 minutes ago, ButtFumble said:

 

the cop sneaking up had the giant magnifying glass  so he could see if said dick was in hand

Edited April 14, 2018 by ernest_t_bass

[Walden Ponderer 12,639]

It's much better to have a joke go over your head than a stream of piss.  Just sayin'.

[Grade of D as in David 13,253]

20 minutes ago, SDG said:

Not sure about that, but the officer wrote he saw me “penis in hand“ on the report.  I disputed that and because he didn’t so up to court I was free to go.  The judge laughed out loud on the bench though so I have a good bar story.  

Judge was laughing at the crime scene photos 

[SDG 3,319]

21 minutes ago, ButtFumble said:

didn't you see him sneaking up on you with the giant magnifying glass?

No, we had waited like an hour to cross the us/ca border so my buddies and I were holding a shit ton of piss. As soon as we the okay to cross from the agents we hit the nearest alley and jumped out of the van.  4 of us were peeing and I was the only one that got a ticket...  either it’s because I’m brown and the others were white, or I’m the only one he could “see.”  

Edited April 14, 2018 by SDG

[Judge Roybeanbag 11,819]

Yes I was.  Out here at my place by Hamilton Pool, I can pee anywhere unless I don’t want to mess up deer movement.  Front porch, back porch, don’t matter.  Splitting time between here and a place in town can be confusing though. Not piss, but the other day I was sitting on the back patio in town, thinking, and lost track of where I was.  Let loose a glorious fart symphony, and the neighbor behind me with three young kids yelled “Bless You!”   

[Ogie Ogilthorpe 639]

All the time, during Irma pissed in the front yard too

[BearSchlong 8,083]

I live in the country, so yes.  I pee off the front step when it's dark. 

I pee off the back step and pray the cars on the highway are whizzing by too fast to see me whiz.

[Walden Ponderer 12,639]

Just now, BearSchlong said:

1 hour ago, ernest_t_bass said:

I live in the country, so yes.  I pee off the front step when it's dark. 

I pee off the back step and pray the cars on the highway are whizzing by too fast to see me whiz.

That was you...?

[Humpy 112]

I piss when and where I want to,  like a boss.

[Incredulity 11,664]

41 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

It's much better to have a joke go over your head than a stream of piss.  Just sayin'.

I once saw a guy winning bets at a party that he could pee onto to roof of a house standing on the ground.

 

[happyhookem 224]

I do too. I just blame the brown spots on the dogs.

[Jimbaround 975]

I'm not sure I know what our downstairs bathroom looks like anymore.  I pee off the back deck every chance I get.

The problem comes when I let the dog out and I pee off the deck while he's doing his.  Occasionally he'll run back to the house and if I don't move or shut it off, he would run right through the stream.

[SDG 3,319]

17 minutes ago, Jimbaround said:

I'm not sure I know what our downstairs bathroom looks like anymore.  I pee off the back deck every chance I get.

The problem comes when I let the dog out and I pee off the deck while he's doing his.  Occasionally he'll run back to the house and if I don't move or shut it off, he would run right through the stream.

That’s why dogs are our friends and not our equals...

[seven 1,367]

To answer the OP, whenever the weather permits 

[yoshi 137]

When I let my dog out for the last time before bed, I usually go out and pee with him.    Bonding time.

[ROFL BOX 6,649]

19 acres of piss land.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,896]

I went from 3 acres to 1/4 acre so I'm pretty confined to a bathroom now.  However, the first thing I usually do when I get to the ranch is pee on the side of the barn.

[Hate 20,108]

I’ve already peed outside 3 or 4 times tonight.

[JohnnyRage 1,617]

I regularly pee in a bottle.

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4,976]

2 hours ago, Jimbaround said:

I'm not sure I know what our downstairs bathroom looks like anymore.  I pee off the back deck every chance I get.

The problem comes when I let the dog out and I pee off the deck while he's doing his.  Occasionally he'll run back to the house and if I don't move or shut it off, he would run right through the stream.

Same here. My house is built on a hill, so the back porch is a second story. Except my dog stays outside and wanders into my stream of his own volition. 

[CHIEF 5,079]

I love when Mrs. CHIEF decides to work in the flowerbeds. Every year I leave her a wet puddle to work her way into...........and every year she forgets about the previous year. 

 

CHIEF

 

[Mr.Hovis 70]

Only on 2 acres but have trimmed my bladder on most of it. My experience with dogs is they will piss wherever you do, thus makes this a solid choice for house breaking pups as well. Just finished my third Haze County so ......

[tejas60 3,533]

11 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

It's much better to have a joke go over your head than a stream of piss.  Just sayin'.

Donald/ that's a matter of opinion. /Trump

no CR

[mr. sunshine 2,824]

We live on 100 acres so not only do I piss everywhere but also take the ocassional outdoors dump if I’m too far from the house 

[Judge Roybeanbag 11,819]

52 minutes ago, mr. sunshine said:

We live on 100 acres so not only do I piss everywhere but also take the ocassional outdoors dump if I’m too far from the house 

One of my best friends is still referred to as “roadside Haines” because the backroads around Garwood and Nada were littered with underwear he would strip off and wipe with, then throw in the ditch. 

[Grade of D as in David 13,253]

12 hours ago, happyhookem said:

I do too. I just blame the brown spots on the dogs.

You need to start making crop circles and words. Come your wife that the dogs can read and write.

[markstanco 12,574]

One of my best friends is still referred to as “roadside Haines” because the backroads around Garwood and Nada were littered with underwear he would strip off and wipe with, then throw in the ditch. 

Rip the sleeves off your undershirt.

[Judge Roybeanbag 11,819]

7 minutes ago, markstanco said:

1 hour ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

One of my best friends is still referred to as “roadside Haines” because the backroads around Garwood and Nada were littered with underwear he would strip off and wipe with, then throw in the ditch. 

Rip the sleeves off your undershirt.

I’m no heathen.  I keep a roll of paper towels in the console or glove box, depending on what I’m driving. Plus a multi tool and a flashlight, in case of constipation.  

[Shoxthemonkey 1,977]

Yeah, all that gear is nice in a truck but when you are on horseback, checking cattle in a four section pasture, sometimes you have to tear the pockets out of your levis.

[markstanco 12,574]

Or so you were told.

[Mez2 4,023]

All the fucking time

[Judge Roybeanbag 11,819]

6 minutes ago, Shoxthemonkey said:

Yeah, all that gear is nice in a truck but when you are on horseback, checking cattle in a four section pasture, sometimes you have to tear the pockets out of your levis.

That’s what this stuff is for man.

 

[Shoxthemonkey 1,977]

None of that to be found in a good Flinthills pasture.

And a handful of Bluestem will slice your ass to where you whistle when you fart.

Edited April 14, 2018 by Shoxthemonkey