I regularly pee in my backyard.

[Judge Roybeanbag 11819]

Once upon a time I was on Padre Island National Seashore.  I had been fishing for three days and the only roughage I’d eaten was some pico de gallo, and sand.  I had to shit, but it was dry, like driftwood.  I know you’re supposed to use a bucket, but this was a special occasion. So I traipse up into the dunes with a sharpshooter shovel, with a whole roll of toilet paper stuffed in the handle. I was like survivor man.  That shit would not come out.   Sure enough, I’m squatting there massaging my ass cheeks, grunting and begging for help from the poop god, and the goddamned intern turtle patrol chick comes driving up on her mule (ATV not bovine). Well, I didn’t shit there. 

Later though, I left Lincoln logs from mile marker 25 damned near to the entrance.  

[Shoxthemonkey 1977]

Poetry.

[Lechuza 31]

Has anyone ever jacked off in their backyard?  I did it a couple of days ago in the dark. Yesterday, I took it a step further and rubbed on out in the daylight. It was pretty exciting. 

[Vic Mackey 47012]

Pissing outside is great. Especially when you wake up at night and have to piss. 

[RDCanecutter 26392]

The dogs and I all go on backyard patrol together. We all piss.

I don't shit out there though. That's their thing.

[ButtFumble 5164]

3 hours ago, Lechuza said:

Has anyone ever jacked off in their backyard?  I did it a couple of days ago in the dark. Yesterday, I took it a step further and rubbed on out in the daylight. It was pretty exciting. 

if you own several mason jars then you might have a bright future in the wine based daiquiri franchise business

[ROFL BOX 6647]

You need to start making crop circles and words. Come your wife that the dogs can read and write.

Virginia, Jan '17.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk

[Grade of D as in David 13253]

19 hours ago, Lechuza said:

Has anyone ever jacked off in their backyard?  I did it a couple of days ago in the dark. Yesterday, I took it a step further and rubbed on out in the daylight. It was pretty exciting. 

[ROFL BOX 6647]

19 hours ago, Lechuza said:

Has anyone ever jacked off in their backyard?  I did it a couple of days ago in the dark. Yesterday, I took it a step further and rubbed on out in the daylight. It was pretty exciting. 

[Prepuce of Doom 21053]

20 hours ago, Lechuza said:

Has anyone ever jacked off in their backyard?  I did it a couple of days ago in the dark. Yesterday, I took it a step further and rubbed on out in the daylight. It was pretty exciting. 

I did a time or two back in high school when I was coming (haha) or going from sneaking out of the house. Usually if I had managed to sneak out much earlier than the appointed rendezvous time or else if I was going back home with blueballs. 

But sometimes just for the hell of it. 

Edited April 15, 2018 by Prepuce of Doom

[mdleast 8289]

Every night I let my dog out before going to bed and pee on the same rose bush in my back yard. That rose bush has grown far bigger and healthier than the other rose bushes I planted at the same time. I can only conclude that I urinate Miracle Grow.

[mdmost 42999]

Dad?

[OiU 0]

My boy uses the same bush so much it's dying.  I told him to spread it around.

[Monty86 60]

I'm in the country also, so yes I piss outside on the regular.  Was pissing in my chicken coop yesterday and three dumb-ass hens come running up thinking the splash was insects or something.  No fucks given, I soaked 'em all until they figured it out and ran away.

[MrPhlegm 3413]

On 4/14/2018 at 2:58 PM, Lechuza said:

Has anyone ever jacked off in their backyard?  I did it a couple of days ago in the dark. Yesterday, I took it a step further and rubbed on out in the daylight. It was pretty exciting. 

Jack off?

 

Naw, fucked the mrs in the pool though.

 

Piss in the back yard?

Yep.

[Nole-4-Life 802]

I'll piss outside when the bathroom is more convenient. Just a great feeling. One of the best parts of being a man.

[BigDHornfan 6545]

I've recently stopped because my herp derp dog has taken a liking to digging up wherever I would piss.   

[Antidean 200]

Almost every night after dark. 

[You don't know me 1161]

I'm a man.  The world is my urinal.

[MaybeACoordinator 8349]

My dad's house backed up to 1000 acres of Tennessee woods and hills when I was a kid. It must have been a Wednesday afternoon because I was way up in those woods with "Bear," my next door neighbor buddy Greg's idiot white German shepherd. Greg wasn't with us -- he was always at church on Wednesdays. And twice on Sundays. Church of Christ is a bitch.

Anyway, Bear and I were ridge-running up there and all of a sudden I had an overwhelming urge to shit. Squatted down, shat, wiped myself with leaves, and moved on. But that idiot dog walked over to my giant pile of turds, sniffed it, and then wiped his cheek in it. Over and over again. Lots of dogs roll around in shit, but this was ever worse and I have no idea what was in his pea brain. White German shepherd, wiping his face in one of the gnarliest shits I'd ever taken even to this day.

We kept on rambling through the woods for a while, and then returned to our respective houses. The next day I was shooting hoops with Greg and he was wondering why Bear had shit stains all over his face and stank like a sewer and for some reason I felt too guilty about the whole thing to tell him that his moron dog decided to use his face as Charmin on a dump I took in the woods.  

[Spartan52 151]

All the time, also if I'm out walking my dog in a bit of bush I have no issue taking a piss, just have to move so he doesn't stick his head under the stream.

[flatdawgs 1277]

On April 14, 2018 at 3:10 PM, ButtFumble said:

if you own several mason jars then you might have a bright future in the wine based daiquiri franchise business

aggymo hut

[Hate 20106]

I’ve peed outside at least 5 times tonight !