So the sheriff just stopped in my yard

[Shoxthemonkey 1982]

To tell me a couple of fugitives are in the neighborhood. They looked through my shop and shed. Nada. I'm cooking supper. .45 is by the range.

[InkaUtexas 26007]

Did you also post this on Next-door? 

[Trey3216 15349]

Is your dog still alive?

[immortal13 4059]

Are you staying vigilant?

[Shoxthemonkey 1982]

Dog is underfoot. Pulling steaks out of the oven, ready to reverse sear. A cruiser goes by the end of the lane every 5 minutes. Probably over already.

[gmr548 16584]

Narrator: OP was the fugitive.

[SHOOTER12 8811]

Dear God tell me 🙏 the dog's ok and you aren't black...

[CooterBrown 18015]

Fuck the police.

[Shoxthemonkey 1982]

KHP has a 182 in the air doing circles around our section. Eating my steak and baked tater.

[MrBig 5421]

What if you stored all your drugs in the shed? Could you tell the cops no?

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

Pics of overdone steak?

[Shoxthemonkey 1982]

Well, it's a gunshop and they know about it. I used to be an ffl holder but I've been inactive for  a long time. The plane is flying tighter circles NW of me,about a half mile.

[Hpara759 1780]

1 minute ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Pics of overdone steak?

How bout ...wife watching the helicopter?

[Hpara759 1780]

Just now, Shoxthemonkey said:

The plane is flying tighter 

Check that.....wife watching airplane?

[Kennythetiger 9398]

15 minutes ago, CooterBrown said:

Fuck the police.

Po- leece 

[irishtexan 11522]

24 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Dear God tell me 🙏 the dog's ok and you aren't black...

If he were black he wouldn't have been able to come back and post.

[Shoxthemonkey 1982]

6 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Pics of overdone steak?

I'll post them in the morning. 

The plane is heading back towards town. Maybe the manhunt is over.

Nope. He's back and circling closer

[Prepuce of Doom 21091]

1 minute ago, Shoxthemonkey said:

I'll post them in the morning. 

The plane is heading back towards town. Maybe the manhunt is over.

Nope. He's back and circling closer

The old "we've quit looking for you, so feel free to leave your hiding spot" trick. 

Anyone who raised any hell as a teenager ought to know this one...

[Shoxthemonkey 1982]

Backslid Mennonite. Lily white.

The deputies wouldn't tell me who is out there but they are clutching their ARs like they are in Kabul.

[Upgrayedd 5815]

Did you tell them about the one-armed man?

[Shoxthemonkey 1982]

23 minutes ago, Hpara759 said:

Check that.....wife watching airplane?

Wife and I are married 47 years today. Hence the steaks. Memorable for sure.

[Js1 85440]

19 minutes ago, irishtexan said:

If he were black he wouldn't have been able to come back and post.

White privilege

[markstanco 12585]

 

 

 

.45

 

.

 

[Pato del Muerto 52531]

55 minutes ago, immortal13 said:

Are you staying frosty?

Corrected 

[markstanco 12585]

If he were black he wouldn't have been able to come back and post.

Underrated post. Rep this man!

[Player 4575]

To tell me a couple of fugitives are in the neighborhood. They looked through my shop and shed. Nada. I'm cooking supper. .45 is by the range.

Fugitives you say?

[Shoxthemonkey 1982]

Ok. Facebook says 5'5" Hispanic with ATF warrants is on the loose. We had a bad hailstorm a couple weeks back so you can't swing a cat without hitting a short Hispanic roofer. Really narrows it down. When all the roofs are fixed we will have 4 Hispanics left.

[Shoxthemonkey 1982]

The Union Pacific runs N-S past my place. I hear the train acomin. I'd be jumping aboard if I were the bad guy.

[clapclapclap 9000]

1 hour ago, Shoxthemonkey said:

To tell me a couple of fugitives are in the neighborhood. 

Peter & Gabriel?

[RDCanecutter 26454]

20 minutes ago, Shoxthemonkey said:

Ok. Facebook says 5'5" Hispanic 

Hmmm, that's bad. Say what you will about the tenets of National Socialism, at least they weren't short.

[Shoxthemonkey 1982]

I don't Facebook but a coworker tells me it's getting crazy. Everything from illegal to murderer. A big discussion of the difference between Mexican and Hispanic. I have moved indoors and locked the doors. Better safe than sorry

[Cajun 11721]

1 hour ago, Shoxthemonkey said:

To tell me a couple of fugitives are in the neighborhood. They looked through my shop and shed. Nada. I'm cooking supper. .45 is by the range.

Your .45 that you left at the range was already picked up by an attendant there, taken home, and sold to somebody on Craigslist.

That somebody is now hiding in a tree across from your house and when the pigs leave he's going to come inside, shoot you in the cocunut with it, and then eat your steaks.

Edited May 20, 2020 by Cajun

[Cajun 11721]

46 minutes ago, Shoxthemonkey said:

 

The deputies wouldn't tell me who is out there but they are clutching their ARs like they are in Kabul.

 You do realize they do the same thing when a chihuahua barks at them, right?

[GRHorn 105]

1 hour ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Pics of overdone steak?

I’ve managed to procure a picture of the anniversary steak. 

 

Edited May 20, 2020 by GRHorn

[Shoxthemonkey 1982]

11 minutes ago, Cajun said:

 You do realize they do the same thing when a chihuahua barks at them, right?

Funny. My dog is a ratcha.

Edited May 20, 2020 by Shoxthemonkey

[Cajun 11721]

You havin' a little vodka while you're flippin' steaks there Shox?

[Shoxthemonkey 1982]

Looks like something is happening a half mile sw of me. 10-12 vehicles just rolled up in a hurry. There is an old hayshed and outbuildings there. I can only see the tops of the SUVs. Just waiting for the gunfire.

[Shoxthemonkey 1982]

Not drinking yet. Dog is a rat terrier Chihuahua cross.

[Cajun 11721]

Does he/she get along with your gog?

 

😉

Edited May 20, 2020 by Cajun
Sounds like soemthing that Vince Clortho would offer a milkbone to.

[Upgrayedd 5815]

You should pop a few rounds into the air.  Show them you mean business.

[RPM 26326]

17 minutes ago, Shoxthemonkey said:

Looks like something is happening a half mile sw of me. 10-12 vehicles just rolled up in a hurry. There is an old hayshed and outbuildings there. I can only see the tops of the SUVs. Just waiting for the gunfire.

[Iceman 2720]

1 hour ago, irishtexan said:

If he were black he wouldn't have been able to come back and post.

pretty tough shot at the boy's skills in diction...

[Zepol87 9188]

1 hour ago, Shoxthemonkey said:

The Union Pacific runs N-S past my place. I hear the train acomin. I'd be jumping aboard if I were the bad guy.

Always heard stories in boot that people jumped on the train to get out. Not sure if the stories were real but it sounds pretty badass to me

[Shoxthemonkey 1982]

All of the vehicles left but the plane remains. Not sure if it's over or not.

[irishtexan 11522]

1 hour ago, Js1 said:

White privilege

Perhaps the privilege I take most for granted. 

[Updawg 2276]

All of the vehicles left but the plane remains. Not sure if it's over or not.

Well go find out.

[Disco Strangler 1878]

This kind of thread is where Surly shines (and simultaneously insists upon itself)

[StruggleBus 3922]

Happy anniversary dude. Make sure and take the old lady to pound town tonight 

[Al Czervik 1229]

1 hour ago, GRHorn said:

I’ve managed to procure a picture of the anniversary steak. 

 

Carrot placement, pro move. 

[Cajun 11721]

1 hour ago, Cajun said:

Does he/she get along with your gog?

 

😉

You should have hit me on the edit.  I was jamming you up on a typo while simultaneously doing the very same.

You're too kind.