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Door to Door Sales Cocksuckers

Horn_Spanker

By Horn_Spanker
in Daily Texan

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Judge Roybeanbag

Judge Roybeanbag 11821

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Horn_Spanker said:

I have a "No Soliciting" sign on my front door, but these cocksuckers don't care.  The past two Saturday mornings I've had Omnishield and Aptive pest control knock on my door.  Neither sales rep were wearing a mask!  Fuck these two companies! 

You still live south?  Seems we were in the same neighborhood at one time.  But yes we’ve had a ton of door to door the last few weeks.  I’ve just been ignoring them.

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Gourmand

Gourmand 7774

Posted
Posted
22 minutes ago, Horn_Spanker said:

I have a "No Soliciting" sign on my front door, but these cocksuckers don't care.  The past two Saturday mornings I've had Omnishield and Aptive pest control knock on my door.  Neither sales rep were wearing a mask!  Fuck these two companies! 

Yeah no shit I hate that crap. It's 2020, who's buying anything from these people?

Our sign says "No Soliciting. REALLY. Don't Make it Awkward" and they still stand there for five minutes waiting for us to answer the door. 

We have a sleeping toddler that you just disturbed by making our annoying old dachshund start yapping, but yeah I'd love to change my cell phone plan with you.....

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StruggleBus

StruggleBus 3922

Posted
Posted
34 minutes ago, Horn_Spanker said:

I have a "No Soliciting" sign on my front door, but these cocksuckers don't care.  The past two Saturday mornings I've had Omnishield and Aptive pest control knock on my door.  Neither sales rep were wearing a mask!  Fuck these two companies! 

At least they have a job and are out trying to make a living. I’ll actually buy from them now and again if they can give me a strong enough sales pitch.

You, on the other hand, sound like a miserable cocksucker.

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Trey3216

Trey3216 15378

Posted
Posted
37 minutes ago, Telegraph_it said:

I always thought the “No Soliciting” sign really meant, “I have no self control, please ring my doorbell and I’ll buy something I don’t need so you go away.”

 

May as well say “No Soliciting! Please!!!! There’s a wife here, man!” 

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UTGrad98

UTGrad98 2282

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, StruggleBus said:

At least they have a job and are out trying to make a living. I’ll actually buy from them now and again if they can give me a strong enough sales pitch.

You, on the other hand, sound like a miserable cocksucker.

Wrong. We actually have someone come spray our lawn every 3 months but WE called THEM due to having an ant issue. There is a "no soliciting" at the front entrance to our neighborhood. I dont go door to door selling my company to people and I kindly ask for others to do the same. This is my RESIDENCE. I have a wife and 8 year old son. They come during the day when Im gone and my wife sometimes feels uncomfortable due to how pushy they are. The shit needs to stop. 

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StruggleBus

StruggleBus 3922

Posted
Posted
16 minutes ago, UTGrad98 said:

Wrong. We actually have someone come spray our lawn every 3 months but WE called THEM due to having an ant issue. There is a "no soliciting" at the front entrance to our neighborhood. I dont go door to door selling my company to people and I kindly ask for others to do the same. This is my RESIDENCE. I have a wife and 8 year old son. They come during the day when Im gone and my wife sometimes feels uncomfortable due to how pushy they are. The shit needs to stop. 

Jesus, it’s like I’m posting on NextDoor right now

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Llano Estacado

Llano Estacado 1257

Posted
Posted

So this happened the other week (coached my son a little then turned him lose), and if you’re wondering having a 5 year old answer the door in only undies and telling a D2D salesman “are your bringing something for the new baby?” Doesn’t discourage them.

...

After some convo (about lord knows what) son tells him mom and dad are busy and can’t come to the door. He closes front door and comes and gets me and reports back.

...

...

...

*Sweaty polo shirt guy not wearing mask still standing on porch*

...

...

(Knocks gently)

...

...

(Knocks more aggressively)

...

...

*Reluctantly go to front and open door* Hey, man I’m not sure what you’re selling or what my son said, but our new born is literally hours old and now isn’t a good time.

“Congrats on the kid! I’m xxxx from SolarwhatchamaTech, we’ve installed some panels in your...

Man, I’m really not interested. I’ve got a kid born TODAY in the back room, but if you have a card or some literature.

“No I don’t, but if you give me your cellphone number and a screen shot of your electric...”

Nope not happening. New born. *closes door*

...

...

*watch on cellphone thinking about knocking again*

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Iceman

Iceman 2726

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Telegraph_it said:

I always thought the “No Soliciting” sign really meant, “I have no self control, please ring my doorbell and I’ll buy something I don’t need so you go away.”

 

That’s one incorrect translation.  The true meaning is ‘Leave me the fuck alone.”  No seriously, I will not buy anything or engage them in conversation.  I will be pissed that they rudely stirred up my dogs. I am politely asking for them to respect me as much as I respect their time.  Don’t get all pissy either when I point to the sign and tell them to get off my property.  It’s nothing close to a lack of self control. 

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Tailgate

Tailgate 3024

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Horn_Spanker said:

I have a "No Soliciting" sign on my front door, but these cocksuckers don't care.  The past two Saturday mornings I've had Omnishield and Aptive pest control knock on my door.  Neither sales rep were wearing a mask!  Fuck these two companies! 

Same. We had the pest control guy last week...and he had no mask on. I told him he was a pest and GTFO.

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Horn_Spanker

Horn_Spanker 524

Posted
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Posted
3 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

You still live south?  Seems we were in the same neighborhood at one time.  But yes we’ve had a ton of door to door the last few weeks.  I’ve just been ignoring them.

We're still neighbors, unless you've moved?

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Armybrat

Armybrat 40934

Posted
Posted

Fwiw we only buy the local school kids candy fundraiser stuff, Boy Scout Philmont fundraiser items, and Girl Scout cookies.

I don’t want new gottdamned windows in my house, My trees were just pruned last year,  and I buy my own Cy-Kick to spray around the house foundation to kill any bug that walks across it. And as they can see, my entire front yard is xeriscaped with river rock gravel, so it doesn’t need to be mowed or trimmed.  

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demos

demos 3012

Posted
Posted
I have a "No Soliciting" sign on my front door, but these cocksuckers don't care.  The past two Saturday mornings I've had Omnishield and Aptive pest control knock on my door.  Neither sales rep were wearing a mask!  Fuck these two companies! 

Do we live in the same neighborhood?

Pest guy was here yesterday.
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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26476

Posted
Posted
14 minutes ago, Helobious said:

PSA: “No Soliticing” signs actually attract door to door salespeople, not discourage them. The logic in their minds being “if I can sell something to this person I can sell it to anyone”. 

If OP wants to regain badass status, he will have products stacked up right inside his door that he sells to door-to-door salesmen.

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Iceman

Iceman 2726

Posted
Posted
39 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

Fwiw we only buy the local school kids candy fundraiser stuff, Boy Scout Philmont fundraiser items, and Girl Scout cookies.

 

That's my exception, neighbor kids.   No pedo.   I'll buy cookie dough, fruit, Christmas tins of God knows what... If they live on my street or if we know them, the deal is THE KID has to do the talking-  mom and dad can fuck off.  I love seeing them get their courage up and doing it.

 

But that's fucking neighbor kids, trying to build confidence and get money for baseball trips or camps or whatever.  I'll support the hell outta that.  The door to door people can kiss my ass.

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deadshank

deadshank 24653

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Armybrat said:

Fwiw we only buy the local school kids candy fundraiser stuff, Boy Scout Philmont fundraiser items, and Girl Scout cookies.

I don’t want new gottdamned windows in my house, My trees were just pruned last year,  and I buy my own Cy-Kick to spray around the house foundation to kill any bug that walks across it. And as they can see, my entire front yard is xeriscaped with river rock gravel, so it doesn’t need to be mowed or trimmed.  

We will see how strong you are about all this when the door to door Ruger salesman shows up.   

You’ll be blowing him and stuffing cash in his underwear.  

Book it. 

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Lhorn

Lhorn 4970

Posted
Posted

Had a guy come to the house wearing a crazy, super colorful blazer clearly made from parts of other coats or clothes sewn together.  I was in the garage with the garage door open and he walked up with the typical BS: "hey I see you're working on your car.  I had a car once."  "I was just over talking with your neighbor Phil who bought some of my crap..."

His was a schtick I've never heard before.  Claimed to be an author of children books, dedicated his life to being a positive influence on inner city children.  Didn't want me to buy his books for my children.  He wanted me to buy large lots of his books which he would deliver to inner city youths.  I would never see the books or have any evidence that such books existed or were ever given out.  After being schmoozed for 20 minutes I was ready to give him $20 just to go away, but the packages of books he was selling started at $300.  I passed obviously.  

 

I've no problems with Girl Scout cookies and such.

 

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Armybrat

Armybrat 40934

Posted
Posted
26 minutes ago, deadshank said:

We will see how strong you are about all this when the door to door Ruger salesman shows up.   

You’ll be blowing him and stuffing cash in his underwear.  

Book it. 

He or she will be trying to buy from me.

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Js1

Js1 85614

Posted
Posted (edited)
5 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

My tiny dick should suffice.

I assume it takes you a while to crank and load your mangonel with rocks before answering the door. 

Edited by Js1
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Wulaw Horn

Wulaw Horn 19153

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, UTPhil2006 said:

Wanna refinance your house?

Before Covid I was actually thinking about doing this. We have all the data that says so and so has a 300k Mortgage at 4.5%. I literally know I can save them $2000 a year at no cost. Thought of hiring a sharp guy with a targeted list and paying him to make my phone ring. 

Post Covid that became a really tone deaf thing to do. 

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UTPhil2006

UTPhil2006 3818

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Wulaw Horn said:

Before Covid I was actually thinking about doing this. We have all the data that says so and so has a 300k Mortgage at 4.5%. I literally know I can save them $2000 a year at no cost. Thought of hiring a sharp guy with a targeted list and paying him to make my phone ring. 

Post Covid that became a really tone deaf thing to do. 

Yeah Pre-COVID I could see it having a decent success rate.  I wouldn't want to be the one doing it, but I'm sure I could find someone willing to make a buck doing it.

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Iceman

Iceman 2726

Posted
Posted
32 minutes ago, HRSchenker said:

I used to work sales in undergrad. Never ever put up a No Soliciting sign.

Ok, so why in the fuck can you people NOT respect the sign?

 

I will NEVER buy from the motherfuckers,.  It is a complete waste of time for them to try.   I hate them with the power of 100 suns.

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Wulaw Horn

Wulaw Horn 19153

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, UTPhil2006 said:

Yeah Pre-COVID I could see it having a decent success rate.  I wouldn't want to be the one doing it, but I'm sure I could find someone willing to make a buck doing it.

Exactly. Something like $500 a loan app- all he’s got to do is get them to call me while he’s standing at their door. That’s the kind of thing you could walk the right block with the right list and make a couple grand after work one night while I’d be happy to pay it. 

 

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Wulaw Horn

Wulaw Horn 19153

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Iceman said:

Ok, so why in the fuck can you people NOT respect the sign?

 

I will NEVER buy from the motherfuckers,.  It is a complete waste of time for them to try.   I hate them with the power of 100 suns.

I’m so looking you up to knock on your door to talk refinance. It’s going to be my mission in life. I think I can make that happen. 

Then, I’m going to sit down the street and send my kid after you with her banana bread pitch. 

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Iceman

Iceman 2726

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

I’m so looking you up to knock on your door to talk refinance. It’s going to be my mission in life. I think I can make that happen. 

Then, I’m going to sit down the street and send my kid after you with her banana bread pitch. 

I'll buy 10 loafs so I can shove them down her dad's fucking throat so he'll finally abide by the sign...on my gotdam property.

 

Kumbaya Lord.

Edited by Iceman
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Wulaw Horn

Wulaw Horn 19153

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Iceman said:

I'll buy 10 loafs so I can shove them down her dad's fucking throat so he'll finally abide by the sign...on my gotdam property.

 

Kumbaya Lord.

What if I send my kid to talk refinance with you (7 year old) and I try to sell banana bread? 

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