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Door to Door Sales Cocksuckers

Horn_Spanker

By Horn_Spanker
in Daily Texan

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HRSchenker

HRSchenker 2275

Posted
Posted
36 minutes ago, Iceman said:

Ok, so why in the fuck can you people NOT respect the sign?

 

I will NEVER buy from the motherfuckers,.  It is a complete waste of time for them to try.   I hate them with the power of 100 suns.

Just for the record I only did that job to help pay for tuition and would never do it now as a fully functioning adult. Having said that, the sign is an invitation for me to ring the doorbell for two reasons. I can use your home as practice for my selling skills. Since you're technically a "no" from the sign, it's a win win for me to ring the doorbell. I have nothing to lose. If you don't answer then it's not a big deal. If you do then you can only go from a "no" to a "yes". The second reason is that sometimes that sign is put out by people who have no self control so it's an easy sell. I only did sales for companies I believed in but you can probably tell that those magazine scam artists eat that shit up.

Really the only time I sign kept me away was if it was grossly offensive or something I would perceive to be offensive to most people. I remember one house in Georgetown that had a sign saying "FUCK YOUR GOD, JESUS IS DEAD" right above the doorbell. I thought it was hilarious but I can tell that person wasn't going to answer or if they did I was gonna get it. 

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Paul Wesley

Paul Wesley 3289

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Lhorn said:

 "I was just over talking with your neighbor Phil who bought some of my crap..."

I don't know why, but when salespeople gesture to another house on my block and reference their owners by first name, it makes me furious...  I think it's because I feel disrespected and insulted that they come at me with such weak bullshit.  

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AUS-97HORN

AUS-97HORN 11824

Posted
Posted

 

4 hours ago, Iceman said:

That’s one incorrect translation.  The true meaning is ‘Leave me the fuck alone.”  No seriously, I will not buy anything or engage them in conversation.  I will be pissed that they rudely stirred up my dogs. I am politely asking for them to respect me as much as I respect their time.  Don’t get all pissy either when I point to the sign and tell them to get off my property.  It’s nothing close to a lack of self control. 

 

56 minutes ago, Iceman said:

Ok, so why in the fuck can you people NOT respect the sign?

 

I will NEVER buy from the motherfuckers,.  It is a complete waste of time for them to try.   I hate them with the power of 100 suns.

so this concept may be too hard for your hard lined brain to understand, but Im gonna put it real easy plain language so you can go pound your chest about how you told them off anyway.

every single door-to-door salesperson who has been given any training at all has been told to get excited at a No Soliciting sign and knock on the door anyway.

Yes, thats right, the sign all but guarantee's you are going to be bothered. And no its not because the sales reps purposely think "if I can sell to this house I can sell to anyone"     its exactly the reason you dismissed out of hand because YOU dont want to be bothered.  which I fully understand.

You are in the majority on this.  But the issue is the MINORITY who put up the sign.

Those salespeople are trained to hit every single No Sol house because a HUGE portion of the folks (more than 25%, less than 50%) put up the No Sol sign because they absolutely have no self-control and cant say no to someone who is reasonably nice.  

So the trained salespeople are told to hit that No Sol house every-time, because 25% or more of the times they hit those houses they have a much stronger chance of a sale.   AND if your house is one that hates the salespeople and you dont want to be bothered, the sales rep finds out almost immediately, and they can move on to another house.

 

so, in short, the salesrep knows your house is either 10 seconds of being yelled at and told no (something they hear 99% of the time anyway),  or a much, much higher chance to get a sale with a weak-minded person.

 

as you were told, the sign guarantees you are going to get solicited. 

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Iceman

Iceman 2726

Posted
Posted (edited)
11 minutes ago, AUS-97HORN said:

as you were told, the sign guarantees you are going to get solicited. 

Not twice though.

See, i see it the same way though.  The idiot ones are going to knock regardless.  I point at the sign and tell them to fuck off.  They start their schpiel and I tell them nicely to leave.  If they ignore it,  good ole pissed off Marine comes out and chews their ass for ignoring the warning for the second time now.

Edited by Iceman
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Iceman

Iceman 2726

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, Anastasis said:

How many you guys who did door to door ever had a gun pulled on you?

growing up in the country, we had a gun by the door 24/7.  It ( or they) was always available should somebody be up to no good... but mostly it was if varmints were fucking with the dogs.

Yes we even got salesmen 5 miles from a town of 440 people.  I hated them then too.

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Dewey

Dewey 3296

Posted
Posted

Bringing back memories of driving in the old neighborhood,  getting home and closing the garage door asap. Seeing those guys going from house to house... Loved getting home and drinking beer in the garage and those motherfuckers would ruin it. I remember a guy with his cleaning solution,  clean anything,  get any stain out, guy would not leave. So I had  him trying cleaning the spilled paint off the  garage floor, that didn't work, how about the fresh tar on the truck? Nope. He ended up drinking a couple beers with me. But those Bible thumpers though,  get out, just no. Magazine jerks, window guy, gutter guy... fuck. That was Austin 4 or 5 years ago

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F250

F250 28826

Posted
Posted
35 minutes ago, Anastasis said:

How many you guys who did door to door ever had a gun pulled on you?

Happened to me delivering pizza. Pulled up to a house and some friends saw me and pulled over and walked up to me and this proto-Trumpkin walks out of his house brandishing a gun. "WTF is going on out here?"

"I am delivering the pizza you ordered, dude."

I was a little high so my reaction to the gun was pretty slow.

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Anastasis

Anastasis 23489

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, F250 said:

Happened to me delivering pizza. Pulled up to a house and some friends saw me and pulled over and walked up to me and this proto-Trumpkin walks out of his house brandishing a gun. "WTF is going on out here?"

"I am delivering the pizza you ordered, dude."

I was a little high so my reaction to the gun was pretty slow.

If the pizza was cold because you zoned out through two green lights, you probably deserved it. 

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F250

F250 28826

Posted
Posted

Many years ago when I used to live in Stone Oak (San Antonio suburbs) this woman knocked on my door promoting her financial advisor business. She actually lived in the neighborhood and regularly jogged around the neighborhood in yoga shorts. She looked like a young Shania Twain.

Anyways, I answered the door and she starts in with her pitch after explaining she lives in the neighborhood.

I immediately interrupt and tell her "yeah, I've seen you jogging around the neighborhood. You live in that house down the street right?" lulz She starts to wrap up her pitch and end the conversation but I ask for her card or a phone number to follow up because I am interested. I also offer her to come inside for some water.

She told me "Oh, I don't have any cards, well I should be going now." LOL

I probably shouldn't have answered the door acting like this guy.

spacer.png

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Heisenberg

Heisenberg 162

Posted
Posted

Forget the "no solicitors" signs.  Get "no trespassing" signs.  Then say these things to anyone who you find on your property: (1) I want you to leave my property, (2) do not ever come back onto my property, (3) if you do come back onto my property you will be trespassing and I will call the LE.  I have never seen one of these fucks a second time after i give them the bad news, and i think others are deterred by the "no trespassing" signs.  We don't get many solicitors where I live anyway.  I don't feel compelled at all to answer someone at my door.

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Iceman

Iceman 2726

Posted
Posted (edited)
9 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

Why do yall get so worked up? Either don't answer the door or answer and say fuck off. 

because it's an unnecessary intrusion into my privacy, while ignoring a standing "request" not to do so.  When the kids were little, it either happened at nap time or right when we sat down for dinner.  When the kids got older and it didn't make a fuck, it still stirs up my dogs, again for no other reason than some meathead thinking they are entitled to talk with me in my own fucking house.

The concept of leaving people alone in their own home isn't some grand, complicated concept of liberty, is it?

Edited by Iceman
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Tex Long

Tex Long 4457

Posted
Posted
31 minutes ago, Larry T. Spider said:

Seems like ring doorbell cameras would cut down on people actually answering the door.

Better - try turning on the speaker and (loudly) saying "Honey, get the Glock, would you? There's some asshole at the door, let's teach him a lesson."

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Tex Long

Tex Long 4457

Posted
Posted

Miz Long asked for an edit. I think she's prolly right...

1 hour ago, Tex Long said:

Better - try turning on the speaker and (loudly) saying "Honey, get the Glock, would you? There's some asshole at the door, let's teach him a lesson."

"Face away from the door. On your knees, now! Hands on top of your head! Honey, go get me one of the big leaf bags and the duct tape."

Better?

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Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18882

Posted
Posted (edited)

We had a Rottweiler about 20 years ago who was very protective of his house and us, and would go ballistic when the doorbell rang. He would settle down if he knew the person or if he could sense i was ok with it.  Poor guy came by peddling security monitoring service, and i walked outside and shut the door without telling the dog to chill. 

The guy was nervous as hell and fumbled through his pitch despite me telling him we were good multiple times as my rottie barked, growled, and snarled on the other side of the door. Finally I said "OK chief, go ahead and open that door and walk inside " 

He declined and walked off, probably reevaluating his career choices 

Edited by Dennis Taylor
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Anastasis

Anastasis 23489

Posted
Posted
37 minutes ago, Tex Long said:

Miz Long asked for an edit. I think she's prolly right...

"Face away from the door. On your knees, now! Hands on top of your head! Honey, go get me one of the big leaf bags and the duct tape."

Better?

You married well. 

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Doc Reeves

Doc Reeves 6434

Posted
Posted
22 hours ago, Llano Estacado said:

So this happened the other week (coached my son a little then turned him lose), and if you’re wondering having a 5 year old answer the door in only undies and telling a D2D salesman “are your bringing something for the new baby?” Doesn’t discourage them.

...

After some convo (about lord knows what) son tells him mom and dad are busy and can’t come to the door. He closes front door and comes and gets me and reports back.

...

...

...

*Sweaty polo shirt guy not wearing mask still standing on porch*

...

...

(Knocks gently)

...

...

(Knocks more aggressively)

...

...

*Reluctantly go to front and open door* Hey, man I’m not sure what you’re selling or what my son said, but our new born is literally hours old and now isn’t a good time.

“Congrats on the kid! I’m xxxx from SolarwhatchamaTech, we’ve installed some panels in your...

Man, I’m really not interested. I’ve got a kid born TODAY in the back room, but if you have a card or some literature.

“No I don’t, but if you give me your cellphone number and a screen shot of your electric...”

Nope not happening. New born. *closes door*

...

...

*watch on cellphone thinking about knocking again*


 

F14FAF99-36C9-467C-87B9-DB964D7E4CA2.jpeg

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BradInATX

BradInATX 9208

Posted
Posted

Some of us have kids who take naps, or work from home and don't need the dog going ape fuck in the middle of a business call. It's not hard to understand why it bothers some people. I've done sales and used marketing automation in the past which is the b2b equivalent of door knocking, so I understand the hustle. They don't really bother me in general. I don't answer and don't care if they see me either. But if they knock/ring multiple times or come during or after dinner, that really rustles my jimmies.

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Wulaw Horn

Wulaw Horn 19153

Posted
Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, Rusty Shackelford said:

This. I’ve finally trained my wife and kids to use the peephole and to not answer the door if it is someone they don’t know. Simple enough. 

If you can train a wife and a kid then it’s definitely on the simple side. Ah, who am I kidding- you should sell books and put on webinars. 

Edited by Wulaw Horn
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conVINCEd

conVINCEd 21472

Posted
Posted
46 minutes ago, Iconoclast Texan said:

Michael Caine and Robert Duvall have the right approach to deal these type of salesmen 

 

I haven’t seen that movie in a long time, and don’t remember much about it.  I was really hoping that was going to involve the lion somehow.

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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26476

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, Rusty Shackelford said:

This. I’ve finally trained my wife and kids to use the peephole and to not answer the door if it is someone they don’t know. Simple enough. 

Now step it up a notch, and train em to wander the neighborhood, sellin shit.

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El Diablo

El Diablo 4232

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 6/6/2020 at 2:32 PM, RDCanecutter said:

If OP wants to regain badass status, he will have products stacked up right inside his door that he sells to door-to-door salesmen.

There was a salesman having a bad year and he went out on the ledge to jump. A priest was called up to talk to the man, which he did. He talked the fellow out of jumping. The salesman stepped back off the ledge and then talked the priest into it. Always be closing.

Edited by El Diablo
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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26476

Posted
Posted
8 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

There was a salesman having a bad year and he went out on the ledge to jump. A priest was called up to talk to the man, which he did. He talked the fellow out of jumping. The salesman stepped back off the ledge and then talked the priest into it. Always be closing.

A guy don't come into the building lest he wants to jump off the ledge. Are you man enough to get him to do it?

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conVINCEd

conVINCEd 21472

Posted
Posted

I once sold shit door to door.  Little restaurant discount cards.  I was pretty good at it.  It lasted a couple of months.  One day I happened to knock on the door of some folks who sold Amway.  I thought the guy wanted me to fuck his wife until they broke out the Amway spiel.

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Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18882

Posted
Posted

Anybody ever sell those Southwestern books? 3 or 4 of my friends at Texas did that one summer, went off to different little towns all over the place selling encyclodedia type books d2d. Seemed kinda like a cult or pyramidish.they were promised they would make outrageous money,  don't remember how it worked out 

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Rusty Shackelford

Rusty Shackelford 414

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, Wulaw Horn said:

If you can train a wife and a kid then it’s definitely on the simple side. Ah, who am I kidding- you should sell books and put on webinars. 

The kids were easier, took the wife several years. I think I drove the point home pretty hard when she opened the door to a drunk homeless guy. At least I was home (In the back yard) at the time. 🤦🏻‍♂️

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conVINCEd

conVINCEd 21472

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

Anybody ever sell those Southwestern books? 3 or 4 of my friends at Texas did that one summer, went off to different little towns all over the place selling encyclodedia type books d2d. Seemed kinda like a cult or pyramidish.they were promised they would make outrageous money,  don't remember how it worked out 

I know a few who sold bibles.  Shipped off to Bumfuck, TN.  I sold my restaurant cards in DFW and the greater Temple metroplex.

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Gatorubet

Gatorubet 30324

Posted
Posted
On 6/6/2020 at 8:49 PM, Paul Wesley said:

I don't know why, but when salespeople gesture to another house on my block and reference their owners by first name, it makes me furious...  I think it's because I feel disrespected and insulted that they come at me with such weak bullshit.  

That's what Phil thought at first...

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Horn_Spanker

Horn_Spanker 524

Posted
  • Author
Posted
On 6/6/2020 at 12:47 PM, Horn_Spanker said:

I have a "No Soliciting" sign on my front door, but these cocksuckers don't care.  The past two Saturday mornings I've had Omnishield and Aptive pest control knock on my door.  Neither sales rep were wearing a mask!  Fuck these two companies! 

Aptive knocking on the door again today!  No mask.  Cocksuckers!

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