I'm An Alcoholic

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

On 4/10/2021 at 3:41 PM, JohnnyRage said:

It was indeed a thought about not having had taken it as far and having more time

this is an interesting consideration when you get some real time sober

Of the remaining "yets" in my life, up to and including death, which am I willing to risk in order to chase a euphoria that I have already learned via multiple relapses I cannot achieve anymore by drinking?

In other words, for me, I can't get a fun buzz off of alcohol like I could when I was younger. Drinking for me is just as much as I can until I'm in oblivion. My brain might try to trick me into remembering a time when I either had or could mimic control over it, and could enjoy it, but those days are absolutely, positively gone. 

So which of the "yets" am I willing to risk in order to chase something I can never catch? Never got a DUI, maybe I could get drunk a few times before I got one of those. Or killed someone in a vehicular manslaughter, that was always a possibility I never dwelt on much. Ooh, I know-- alcohol poisoning. I never did have to be hospitalized for that, and I bet if I started up again, with my body now unaccustomed to heavy drinking and my brain desperate to skip all the intermediate steps of inebriation and get right to oblivion, I'd have a real shot at that. 

I absolutely get the concept of "man, I didn't get to finish" if your story doesn't start with "And after I got out of prison...." or something like that. I threw away multiple attempts at sobriety because I would think, literally, "I don't want to be sober for a whole year and then go back out, I better go back out now at three months and next time I'll get some real good sober time".

Such twisted insanity. I haven't thought that way in a long time and for THAT, I am motherfucking grateful. And as logical as the consideration described above sounds, I know that I have to stay in my Higher Power for that thinking to have any impact on me, because if I get separated from my HP and I'm not working the steps and being of service, the insanity can return, and if it does, it (and I) can't be reasoned with like it sounds like I'm doing above. 

Here's a great AA speaker, the Recovered Podcast has been running some of his talks lately. I think he uses the phrase "my brain would have killed me a long time ago except it needed me for transportation" at one point; he's fucking hilarious. 

 

[DallasHorn26 586]

I went to a Big Book study retreat this weekend with my sponsor and sponsor family hosted by my great-great-grand sponsor. There were 96 men there from 7 different states with sobriety ranging everywhere from less than week up to 40 years. A lot of knowledge, experience, and hope was shared throughout the weekend. As someone still early into this, it was eye-opening and I feel like I'm seeing the real AA for the first time. The theme of the weekend was "Above Everything". Ultimately, I have to put my sobriety above everything and the biggest way I can do that is by being of service. 

[BearSchlong 8083]

I went to a Big Book study retreat this weekend with my sponsor and sponsor family hosted by my great-great-grand sponsor. There were 96 men there from 7 different states with sobriety ranging everywhere from less than week up to 40 years. A lot of knowledge, experience, and hope was shared throughout the weekend. As someone still early into this, it was eye-opening and I feel like I'm seeing the real AA for the first time. The theme of the weekend was "Above Everything". Ultimately, I have to put my sobriety above everything and the biggest way I can do that is by being of service. 

Sounds like you're doing it right. Bravo, buddy.

[BearSchlong 8083]

I think he uses the phrase "my brain would have killed me a long time ago except it needed me for transportation" at one point; he's fucking hilarious. 
 

Earl is wonderful. So funny. "Watch out for the Hightower kid, he's a maniac." And the story about doing acid and going to the supermarket. . .

Honest, the first time I heard Earl's story I realized Holy shit, I am an alcoholic. He and Karl M. From Covina, CA. Their stories resonated in my head. Got to talk to Earl in a zoom call about 6 months ago. Felt like a fanboi.

If you look at the credits in Robert Downey Jr's first few movies after he kicked heroin you'll see Earl credited as "assistant to Mr. Downey Jr." Basically his combo body man / full time sponsor.

He is in the intervention business.

[Reagan1k 3024]

Hightower is a nut - and I mean that in a wonderful way. 

I think he's great, especially for some newcomers whose skin is peeling off and can't stand to listen to some serene, calm oldtimer talk about wearing the world like a loose garment.  That doesn't resonate when you are vibrating.  Earl has the energy and delivery get get right where that person is and grab what attention span they have and make a connection.

On the flip side, he's also good at energizing someone with some time who is a tad complacent.

I immediately identify with him when he talks about always wanting to change the way I feel.  Any time I find myself wandering in the wreckage of my future, I try and remember Earl taking about staying in between the claps - just be right here right now.

and @BearSchlong  I have vision that runs in my head of him punching "Tiny" and then proceeding to get his ass kicked after being told he had a lot of guts.  Priceless story!

[pch 1259]

I went to the Stars in Recovery program today and heard Ray Wylie Hubbard tell his story.  We shared a lot in common in terms of our drinking but also went to NTSU, majored in English, and basically had a penchant for disregarding all organized religion or any other authority.  True story-once every three months or so he used to play at a club on Berry Street here in FW called the HOP back in the 70's and 80's.  The HOP was directly across the street from my favorite dive bar, the Hi-Hat.  The best thing about the two clubs is that there was a laundromat located next door and you could multi-task by washing/drying your clothes while getting your drink on.  Just another example of the kind of insane behavior yours truly used to convince himself he could be functional as well as anyone even when under the heavy influence of liquor.  I never went into the HOP because it did not have a pinball machine (I could still use a 12 step program for that addiction) while the Hi-Hat did and I owned the highest score ever put on that table (humblebrag), but I could hear the music when doing laundry.  Years later in sobriety, I became good friends with the ex-wife of the owner of the HOP who is now in recovery.  God works in mysterious ways His wonders to perform.

[hullabelew 3723]

I don't think I've told this.....if so, sorry for the repeat.   I was in treatment at Cumberland Heights in Nashville.  They have a program that is sponsored by The Grammys, called MusiCares.  They work to provide treatment for anyone in the music industry.  Artist, songwriters, roadies, managers, etc.  Because of this, they have connections with a LOT of musicians who come back to talk, sing at the Sunday service and work with people in the music program.  I was lucky enough to get into that music program, run by a brilliant musician and fantastic human named John McAndrew.  

The music program consisted of 1 hour a week with John and other patients in the program, 1 hour one-on-one with John, 1 hour where he puts all of the patients in the music program together and you have 30 minutes to pick a song, work it out then perform it, and 1 hour where a Nashville musician comes in to talk about recovery.  

Going back since 1983, my very favorite songwriter is John Hiatt.  My second week there, one of the other patients says, "Our guest tomorrow is some dude named John Hiatt.  My dad was pretty excited when I told him that.  Have you ever heard of him?"   Sure enough, the next day Hiatt walks in to the practice space with his sponsor.  He told his story to us, then asked what questions we had.  There were 5 of us in the room. I asked a couple of questions about the timing of specific albums and how they related to his recovery, then asked why had chose different producers for the two sides of "Riding With The King."    He said, "I appreciate you knowledge of my career, but I want to keep this on recovery."   I then recounted a time in right after "Bring In The Family" when I saw him backstage talking with a fan about his recent recovery, and both men were crying.  I told Hiatt that even though I was just a drinking 25 year old at the time and no idea I careening toward 30 more years of drinking, that moment always stuck with me.

The next day I was talking with the music leader and said, "I need to apologize for asking Hiatt about his career."  He said, "Do you honestly feel bad about that?  If so, don't.  Hiatt LOVED that.  He usually comes here and no one knows who he is.  If you had asked, he would have given you his phone number."

Another guy who  came to our group was Travis Meadows.  He told a story about a girl he met at a school for troubled kids.  Travis said her story was the saddest he ever heard....and has the saddest story I'VE ever heard.  Anyway, he was talking to the leader at the school and that dude said, "When the only tool you have is a hammer, you are going to pound your emotions down, and when you do that, they sometimes come out sideways."  He wrote this.

 

 

[Reagan1k 3024]

14 hours ago, pch said:

I went to the Stars in Recovery program today and heard Ray Wylie Hubbard tell his story.  We shared a lot in common in terms of our drinking but also went to NTSU, majored in English, and basically had a penchant for disregarding all organized religion or any other authority.  True story-once every three months or so he used to play at a club on Berry Street here in FW called the HOP back in the 70's and 80's.  The HOP was directly across the street from my favorite dive bar, the Hi-Hat.  The best thing about the two clubs is that there was a laundromat located next door and you could multi-task by washing/drying your clothes while getting your drink on.  Just another example of the kind of insane behavior yours truly used to convince himself he could be functional as well as anyone even when under the heavy influence of liquor.  I never went into the HOP because it did not have a pinball machine (I could still use a 12 step program for that addiction) while the Hi-Hat did and I owned the highest score ever put on that table (humblebrag), but I could hear the music when doing laundry.  Years later in sobriety, I became good friends with the ex-wife of the owner of the HOP who is now in recovery.  God works in mysterious ways His wonders to perform.

Thanks for sharing - I've got a mild fascination with "stars" who recover.  I'm not someone who is starstruck in the least.  In fact, I normally don't know who anyone is.  I may recognize someone on the street for instance but am unsure if they are famous or graduated highschool with me.  

That said, my interest in those with some measure of fame who recover is thinking about the extra obstacles they faced.  Pressure of the road, their posse,  the grind to make it.

I love listening to talks by those with fame.  For some reason their stories really impact me and keep me in hope that I can continue down my path which in contrast appears more smooth.

Mildly funny (to me) / csb that probably goes in a Stupid Things Husbands Do thread.  I'll often listen to a speaker tape when driving, even if my wife is in the car.  She's normal, but enjoys them to a point and then tunes them out if she wants and plays on her phone.   

Early in sobriety I was listening to a guy give a talk and after a few minutes, turned to my wife and said that this guy's voice was a dead ringer for "the Silence of the Lambs" guy.  She looked at me like I was from Mars, asked if I was serious and then told me to go back to the intro.  "Did you not notice he introduced himself as Tony?  Are you drunk now?  That is Anthony Hopkins you dumbass."  She said Jesus could fly down in front of me and I'd think he was the new yoga instructor.

Edited April 16, 2021 by Reagan1k

[hullabelew 3723]

I checked in to treatment last on a Wednesday.  I remember meeting with my doctor...must have been a Friday.  On Sundays, they offered a church service or a meditation class.  He asked what I was planning.  I told him I thought I would check out the meditation.  He said, "You ought to go check out the Sunday service.  You never can tell who is going to show up to play but I bet you will know more than a couple over your stay."   That Sunday I walk in to see Tommy Womack doing a sound check.  

This is a song about his struggles with trying to stay sober and having one good day with his wife and son.  Ironically, this was filmed about 3 months before his arrest and his stay at the same treatment center where he was now playing.  If you want a good book to read, his "Dust Bunnies" is a fantastic and funny book.  

 

[After irth 1243]

Tacking on a celebrity-related csb:

I am acquaintances with Jon Oliva, and I have heard him tell some wacky stories about rehab.  He was roommates with Ben Vereen at one-point, and Eric Clapton was in their same group.  Lotsa music flowed instead of booze during those weeks.

Pity that rehab didn't seem to take much for Jon, but, that's another story.  

[BearSchlong 8083]

I used to attend quite a few meetings with a pretty famous singer.  Not going to violate his anonymity but I think he is still sober, he just doesn't go to many meetings for the reasons @Reagan1kmentioned.  I've seen newcomers not savvy to the 12th tradition ask him for autographs, which made him super uncomfortable.

One day I told him you know you and I never actually drank together in person, but I sure did a lot of drinking while listening to your music.  His reply was that he was probably drunk in the studio laying down the vocals.

Edited April 16, 2021 by BearSchlong

[Reagan1k 3024]

10 minutes ago, BearSchlong said:

I used to attend quite a few meetings with a pretty famous singer.  Not going to violate his anonymity but I think he is still sober, he just doesn't go to many meetings for the reasons @Reagan1kmentioned.  I've seen newcomers not savvy to the 12th tradition ask him for autographs, which made him super uncomfortable.

One day I told him you know you and I never actually drank together in person, but I sure did a lot of drinking while listening to your music.  His reply was that he was probably drunk in the studio laying down the vocals.

That both cool and sad at the same time.  I truly hate that for him, but yeah, that's part of my interest in how they do it and how impressive that is to me.  Hope he's still doing the deal and that didn't sour him on sobriety.  It's hard enough walking in, defeated, as an unknown cog in life's wheel, but to go in as a public figure would be a different deal.

I guess I'm the most famous person I've ever seen in a meeting, which makes sense, as I'm an alcoholic, thus I'm all I ever think about!!!!!!!!

[Dewey 3286]

Have an alcoholic at work, I'm his supervisor. He's really good at what he does, he just can't string enough days together. He also thinks he's the most important person in this world (sound familiar?  Does to me). Anyways, after missing a lot of days, fender bender, then covid, then high BP, then his wife is ill... I really had had enough. But before I could call him and tell him to come get his.tools, he calls me.

He proceeds to tell me he was.doing me a favor by working at this site, but now I must pay consequences, that he's leaving and I won't have his talents anymore, that I'm stuck with the 2 other finishers who aren't on his level.  He feels I let him down by telling him to stop barking orders (when he's actually at work), that I betrayed him.

He cussed, said somethings and then tells.me he wants me to transfer him to another job site. Literally said "yeah, I'm done, send me to the job in North Houston". 

Told him we were done talking, he could come in and get his tools, he never showed.  When my superintendent asked why? I told him the guy's an alcoholic,  so his weekend started today and he'll be here next Tuesday or Wednesday, then he'll think he'll start his new job the week after, because going straight to the new job would be too much, a burden. 

Of course, there's no.new job, you can't talk to people the way he did and think we'll just transfer you to another job site. 

Wish I could talk to him, but in his alcoholic mind, I'm the worst person (unless he wants his job back). Reminds me when I was drunk and the old man who got me sober laughed and said "Patrick,  wouldn't it be great if everyone just listened to you? Did what you told them to do?" 

I plan to tell him when he hits rock-bottom,  to call me, ill help him out. 

You know who picks up a phone and cusses out his supervisor and thinks he'll keep his job? An alcoholic, that's who. 

[BearSchlong 8083]

In my fantasy world, you tell him "you're fired" and hand him a big book as a severance package.

[Reagan1k 3024]

What are the odds he was hammered and shows back up as if nothing ever happened?  I know a girl in the program that had a habit of quitting or calling in sick and then “forgetting” and showing up.  Made for some awkward conversations and humorous amends. 

[Kennythetiger 9376]

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things that I can, and wisdom to know the difference. 

[Clintonaldo 2572]

On 4/8/2021 at 9:03 PM, Dewey said:

I've studied quite a bit in Buddhism and quite a lot of Taoism,  but never got into Confucianism. That said, there's one thing that Confucius said that has stuck with me and I carry it everywhere I go. And that is

"Man who farts in church sits in own pew"

 

I like his saying “ man stuck in pantry has ass in jam”. 

[Celery Man 20931]

13 hours ago, hullabelew said:

 

 

 

you know, the thing I really need in this world is a nice sounding parlor acoustic with a good pickup. that would solve my problems.

wait what thread is this again?

I don't think I've ever bumped across any famous musicians at a meeting. I did have a funny... nice little, probably for both of us some amends we never would have thought of making but it worked out very serendipitously. For a decade, my band had a lockout room at the Music Lab. We shared the room for a while with a band that broke up, but kept the room so they could all practice, and eventually one of those dudes had a band and they were in the room as well but like.. the one dude was paying 1/8th of the rent but had a whole band worth of shit in there, and they smoked so there were cigarette butts and shit everywhere. I tried to stay out of it but it was a whole thing with stupid passive aggressive shit, and at one point someone from my band stuck cigarette butts between the keys on this fucking organ which had made its way in there, and there was drama and they moved out, and the last I had seen he was drunk being dragged away by his friends, frothing at the mouth at a party wanting to fight either me or someone else from my band or I dunno, I was drunk too. Anyways, I think I always held a small resentment against that guy just because his band actually became pretty successful, which bruised my ego both generally and because of that weird drama. And then years and years later he walked up to me after an AA meeting, said he wasn't sure and then knew it had to be me because I was wearing boots. And we caught up for a bit, and then were both "Remember that shit? That was weird, sorry man", and now he's out there as a friend.

[DallasHorn26 586]

For any of you dog lovers. I’d ask you look into an organization called dogs matter. They foster pets while people are in treatment. They’re based in dfw but looking to expand into Austin.

[hullabelew 3723]

In Atlanta there is an AA clubhouse just across the highway from Guitar Center.  Bands are always stopping in that place.  There is also another meeting that seems to draw a lot of high profile actors and musicians.  With all of the meetings in Atlanta, it is cool how the word gets out among the famous folks about which meetings they like when they are in town.  

[Kennythetiger 9376]

I will be in Key West in a month. Going to try to hit a meeting there. Might be a little different than our midwestern meetings, but maybe not. 

[BearSchlong 8083]

4 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

I will be in Key West in a month. Going to try to hit a meeting there. Might be a little different than our midwestern meetings, but maybe not. 

i'll see if I can do some recon, I'll be there next week.  Well, Marathon for 3 nights, and the Stock Island YC for 3 nights.

Edited April 19, 2021 by BearSchlong

[Kennythetiger 9376]

On 4/19/2021 at 4:04 PM, BearSchlong said:

i'll see if I can do some recon, I'll be there next week.  Well, Marathon for 3 nights, and the Stock Island YC for 3 nights.

Mile 0 Fest?  Quite jealous if so. 

[BearSchlong 8083]

Mile 0 Fest?  Quite jealous if so. 

Not specifically. But yeah, I'll probably end up there.

Looks like they have quite the AA club in Key West. https://www.anchorsaweighclub.com/meeting-schedule/

[ernest_t_bass 1196]

Serenity now.  Dissolution discussions started, and it looks like it may be headed down the road of divorce instead.  Serenity now.

[Kennythetiger 9376]

Thinking of you and your wife. You guys have been at this for a long time now. Hope both of you find peace in whatever manner it takes. 

[BearSchlong 8083]

Saw it on the other thread, It's much better to go through it sober.

Knowing what you've shared about the situation, I'm praying that both of you find forgiveness, serenity, and grace through this awful process.

My ex did some high-level psychotic shit today and I found myself clinging to page 66-67 and 417 of the BBOAA and praying for her.

[ernest_t_bass 1196]

1 hour ago, BearSchlong said:

I'm praying that both of you find forgiveness, serenity, and grace through this awful process.

I pray for her heart, daily.

[BearSchlong 8083]

Got word yesterday that law enforcement in Orlando found my friend's remains. Cause of death undermined. Not sure if he relapsed or how he got to FL.

Last time I saw him he was living in the garage of a house in Vidor that took on 10 feet of water during Harvey and had no water or power. Because his parents had died and left him with that uninhabitable, mold riddled place he lost his disability benefits because he had "assets." But he was so addled that he was unemployable. His occupation was "plasma salesman" if you get my drift. Completely fallen through the cracks. Circling the drain, mentally. Kept talking about joining the Vietnamese mafia. And he was a 50 year old white guy.

I took him my old propane grill and a full bottle of gas and took him to get groceries. Bought him ice and cigs. And said a prayer. He was sleeping in an old recliner.

He was active in recovery for many years, but his real issue was schizophrenia.

I guess LEO checked his phone and found my other buddies contact info and called him and he called me. We shared the same sponsor so I called him with the news and he remarked that the guy had helped keep him sober for years.

[BearSchlong 8083]

And then got a call from my best friend from high school, our other friend is in her last hours of hospice in Lakeway. Acute liver failure and alcoholic hepatitis at 46.

I'd be surprised if some folks from surly didn't know her, or at least go to UT with her, she was the prototypical Austin party girl.

Progressive, fatal disease.

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

12 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

And then got a call from my best friend from high school, our other friend is in her last hours of hospice in Lakeway. Acute liver failure and alcoholic hepatitis at 46.

I'd be surprised if some folks from surly didn't know her, or at least go to UT with her, she was the prototypical Austin party girl.

Progressive, fatal disease.


 

Shit. I'm 46, I went to UT, I live in Lakeway. The only reason that post's not about me, other than me not being a girl of any type prototypical or otherwise, is the grace of God.

Sorry to hear that news, Schlong. 

Edited April 26, 2021 by SwanderedTalent

[hullabelew 3723]

One of my local meetings just reopened for meetings.  Saturday, a van of 16 people (we think all females) were headed to the meeting from their sober living when their van crashed, caught on fire.  6 were killed.  At my Sunday morning meeting, we were missing a van of about 8 girls from a sober living house that just recently started coming to that meeting.  Still trying to sort out the exact details, trying to find where the other 10 were taken but since the dead haven't been IDed, information is really hard to get right now.  

https://www.11alive.com/article/news/local/6-dead-i85-crash-gwinnett/85-38ff09c0-016c-4fad-a5b8-cb20c72ace22

 

[BearSchlong 8083]

Oh God that is awful.

[El Diablo 4232]

That's fucking terrible, cannot imagine. 

[Reagan1k 3024]

On 4/25/2021 at 9:22 PM, BearSchlong said:

And then got a call from my best friend from high school, our other friend is in her last hours of hospice in Lakeway. Acute liver failure and alcoholic hepatitis at 46.

That's heartbreaking.  No doubt not just friends like yourself, but probably parents, kids, spouse(s) ex or otherwise being left to grieve and wonder why/how it could get to that.   

 

 

On 4/26/2021 at 10:31 AM, hullabelew said:

One of my local meetings just reopened for meetings.  Saturday, a van of 16 people (we think all females) were headed to the meeting from their sober living when their van crashed, caught on fire.  6 were killed.  At my Sunday morning meeting, we were missing a van of about 8 girls from a sober living house that just recently started coming to that meeting.  Still trying to sort out the exact details, trying to find where the other 10 were taken but since the dead haven't been IDed, information is really hard to get right now.  

This makes me sick to my stomach.  I'm so sorry.

[hullabelew 3723]

Updates/news is starting to come in.  This is just fucking heartbreaking.

https://www.ajc.com/news/police-working-to-identify-6-victims-of-deadly-i-85-van-crash/IG475HEC7VBN7C7FPPF6V4AH7M/

https://www.11alive.com/article/news/local/family-fiery-van-crash-victims-cope-painful-loss/85-c76fcda8-ba2a-4e81-a95d-d8ed7c1a7c86

 

[pch 1259]

Thanks to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, the fellowship which showed me a way out from under. and a life beyond anything I could have imagined, I have not had to take a drink for the last 23 years.  You guys have been a part of my recovery as well and thank you for sharing your experience, strength, and hope.

[BearSchlong 8083]

What a miracle. God bless you bud and thanks for your sobriety.

[JohnnyRage 1617]

Congrats PCH!

I’ll say it again, we need to have a happy hour get together. Maybe tacos or barbecue!

[JohnnyRage 1617]

Fuck this software

Edited April 28, 2021 by JohnnyRage

[ernest_t_bass 1196]

Yesterday was 6 years sober.  This thread and you people were and are incredibly integral. 

[Celery Man 20931]

Hopping on the good news train. Lurkers, you’d be amazed at the amount of life you can still have on the other side of this. You’re not incapable of joy, you are depressed and your brain chemistry is fucked. It can be unfucked. Sack up and ask for help.

 Check out this nugget. Meditating a bit on how clear and understandable priorities are maybe near as important as recognizing where you have power and where you do not. That was strangely calming as soon as she was handed to me. Right - protect the baby. Duh.

 

[BBQ2Bayou 807]

12 hours ago, ernest_t_bass said:

Yesterday was 6 years sober.  This thread and you people were and are incredibly integral. 

I remember when you first quit on shaggy. I was reading this thread a lot as a lurker, because I knew I needed to stop at some point and I had never looked for help. Took me a few years after you, but I echo what you and others have said; this place has been extremely helpful in my recovery too. 

Great work by you, bass. 

 

 

 

 

[pch 1259]

15 hours ago, ernest_t_bass said:

Yesterday was 6 years sober.  This thread and you people were and are incredibly integral. 

Congratulations on this milestone my friend.  Here's to six years and one day for you today!

[DonkeyCigars 144]

2 hours ago, BBQ2Bayou said:

I remember when you first quit on shaggy. I was reading this thread a lot as a lurker, because I knew I needed to stop at some point and I had never looked for help. Took me a few years after you, but I echo what you and others have said; this place has been extremely helpful in my recovery too. 

Great work by you, bass. 

 

 

 

 

This has been a fantastic read for sure!

[hullabelew 3723]

FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC news, @Celery Man.  So happy for you guys!  Reminded me to post of story about my youngest visiting me at treatment but that can wait.  She is such a beauty.  

[BearSchlong 8083]

Oh Man congratulations!!!!! That dad switch flipped on and instinct kicked in, didn't it.so happy for you and the missus. Glorious day!

[Herbie Hancock 7344]

Two years ago today after pm’ing back and forth for a good while with Schlong about my good friend and coworker that was struggling through constant relapses, he sent me his cell # and I made the call.

BS spent almost an hour on the phone with a total stranger (I know it was an hour because my AirPods only held a charge for an hour) talking me through accepting the fact that there was nothing I could do to help my friend except be there for him when he reaches out. Myself and several other coworkers had been trying in vain for over a year to get this guy help. As much wisdom and insight as BS shared I still refused to accept the fact that there was absolutely nothing I or anyone else could do for my friend.

For the last 2 years my friend has been on a rollercoaster. Two more stints in rehab, two hospitalizations and one involuntary psych hold due to hallucinations/DT’s. Today he called in sick for the 7th shift in a row. He ran out of sick time 5 shifts ago. He is now considered AWOL and they will be initiating the termination process. I hope this is his rock bottom because if it’s not I don’t think he’ll be alive much longer.


TLDR; if you’re reading this and having issues, whether it be yourself or a friend, this is an excellent place to come for guidance/insight.

[Clintonaldo 2572]

12 hours ago, Celery Man said:

Hopping on the good news train. Lurkers, you’d be amazed at the amount of life you can still have on the other side of this. You’re not incapable of joy, you are depressed and your brain chemistry is fucked. It can be unfucked. Sack up and ask for help.

 Check out this nugget. Meditating a bit on how clear and understandable priorities are maybe near as important as recognizing where you have power and where you do not. That was strangely calming as soon as she was handed to me. Right - protect the baby. Duh.

 

I posted when you got married how proud and happy I was for you and I didn’t even know you. I just remember your crazy post about being held against your will at a rehab place and most of us kind of laughed until we realized it was real. Well, you folllowed through and got your life in order and met a nice girl and got married. I commented on how amazing it was how far you came then and I will comment now. I am thrilled for you. 

 

 

PS. I am only 3 months and 21 days ahead of you on fatherhood. IT’S AWESOME!

[TwiceHorn 31438]

12 hours ago, Celery Man said:

Hopping on the good news train. Lurkers, you’d be amazed at the amount of life you can still have on the other side of this. You’re not incapable of joy, you are depressed and your brain chemistry is fucked. It can be unfucked. Sack up and ask for help.

 Check out this nugget. Meditating a bit on how clear and understandable priorities are maybe near as important as recognizing where you have power and where you do not. That was strangely calming as soon as she was handed to me. Right - protect the baby. Duh.

 

Congratulations, friend!

There really can be light at the end of the tunnel.  Most of us are living proof.

But there are a lot of not so great stories out there, as evidenced by the thread.  If you're struggling, don't fuck around and find out.