I'm An Alcoholic

[BearSchlong 8083]

AA in Key West is great, the Anchors Aweigh club is 1 block from Duval on Virginia. Went to 2 meetings. Get there early cause you'll have to park on the street, possibly quite a walk if Duval is crowded late in the day. Its pretty easy for the 7 AM meeting. Got a tshirt and coffee cup from there too.

[hullabelew 3723]

Had something cool happen last night.  Last night was on an aftercare meeting with my treatment center.  The guy running the meeting is named Mac.   He was a former patient at that same treatment center about 5 years ago.  I had checked in on a Wednesday and that Monday I was still assigned to the medical unit and in a valium haze.  I don't remember much about those 4-5 days.  Hell, I even lost a complete day.   But that Monday night, another dude and I wondered in to an 'aftercare' meeting.  I later found out it was about 10 patients and 2 guys that I thought were counselors but later learned they were former patients who came back to campus a few times a week for meetings  and to give back.  

I hadn't seen Mac in about 8 months.  We just keep missing each other at these meetings.  They have 5 a week.  There are 30 people in last nights Zoom and Mac starts the meeting.  "First I would like to have Hulla start off tonight.  I first met him in this very meeting and if my memory serves correctly, he has a two year anniversary this coming Saturday."   I still can't believe he even remembers me, much less remember the first time we met, but fuck me...how does he remember my sobriety date.  

After that first meeting, I would see Mac at Sunday Service an always try to get into his group for Aftercare and I would call him while I was in treatment just to get his ideas on situations.  Just a cool, laid back guy who is also a friend of Richard Royer, who wrote "Breathing Underwater".  

Sorry for the rambling, but I was blown away.  

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

Counting down to a significant anniversary a week from today, have been doing a lot of thinking about where I was three years ago. I don't ever want to go back to that in any way, shape, or form; I am truly grateful that I don't have to, today, if I choose not to pick up a drink and if I maintain connection with my higher power. I didn't have a great day yesterday, but that was my day, it wasn't and isn't my life. Went to bed early, got up early feeling off again, but had my quiet time and worked out and by the time my daughter was ready to get out of bed, I was feeling a lot better about things. Amazingly, the AA cliche about "this too shall pass" always turns out to be correct if I do my part and give it TIME to pass. It doesn't say "this too shall pass the instant you decide it's unpleasant to feel it". 

[BearSchlong 8083]

On 4/19/2021 at 11:27 AM, Kennythetiger said:

I will be in Key West in a month. Going to try to hit a meeting there. Might be a little different than our midwestern meetings, but maybe not. 

The old timers bring their dogs which is nice.  Very relaxed, serene dogs only though.

@SwanderedTalent would you say you have a disease of perception?  I know I do.

Life's pretty damned perfect, once I get outside of my own skull.

Congrats on the annual review of the events of the days and hours leading to sobriety.  That's always a fun exercise that results in absolute humility.  By God's grace humility.

@hullabelewI suspect Mac remembers your sobriety date because you're an outlier, an alumnus, and you demonstrated desperation and willingness.  Congratulations! You're a unicorn.

No symbolism or anything, but a friend's sobriety date is June 6.  His own personal D-Day.  Hard to forget that one.  I still get a kick when I see someone's date is January 1.  That one always begs a few questions.

Edited May 5, 2021 by BearSchlong

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

14 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

would you say you have a disease of perception?  I know I do.

Indeed! but like the old GI Joe saying, knowing is half the battle. When we know we have that disease, it's robbed of a LOT (not nearly all, but a lot) of its power over us. I realized it again this morning, thinking about a company happy hour we're having tonight. My first thought, the alcoholic thought, was "oh GOD, poor me, I have to go meet a bunch of bright happy young people and chit chat for an hour, why am I so put upon, can't I get out of this, can't I make up some bullshit story and not go?" 

My alcoholic brain would have taken and run with that pity party three years ago. In fact it did, and that's how I ended up in an Uber back to my hotel to guzzle Skol vodka out of a plastic Traveler alone with HBO blaring in the background, leaving a team party of 30 people in a luxury box at Fenway going "where'd Swandered go, have you seen him?" 

This morning my second thought was to tell those thoughts to shut the fuck up and my action on the matter will be to suit up and show up. 

[quote]That's always a fun exercise that results in absolute humility. [/quote]

I never would have thought of it in those terms but fuck yes it does. The further I get from May of 2018, the more it can feel like something I saw in a movie, or something that happened to someone else. I don't particularly LIKE immersing myself in remembering the misery that brought me to detox and rehab but it's critical to stay in touch with that end of the drinking spectrum, because it helps keep perspective on where one drink will take me.

[BearSchlong 8083]

Went to a meeting last night because I am on post vacation hangover, like "how can I endure this vanilla upper middle class existence when I should just move to the beach and figure it all out" angst. Cue Rush's "Subdivisions". Im so afflicted. And so badly wanting the coat of tan Bill alludes to in his story.

So I get to the meeting and my good friend who got sober in Laguna Beach, Christmas Day 1985 (@hullabelew another date remembered) looked like warmed up leftover hell. He had come to the meeting right after putting his wife in hospice. And he was grateful that he gets to suit up and show up and that his wife isn't going to die alone like so many did in hospitals during covid, with visitors helplessly unable to gather round the death bed.

I just lost it, the tears rolled.

Yeah, thanks god, for what you've given and taken, but most of all what you've left with me.

Last thing. My dad gave me a copy of his new will yesterday. And though he could live 10 hours or 10 years, I'm terrified of losing him.

One main reason for staying in Beaumont is that every weekend I can swing by and pick up Dad, hitch the boat, and be on the gulf in an hour, rod in hand.

[Nivek 16916]

Went to a meeting last night because I am on post vacation hangover, like "how can I endure this vanilla upper middle class existence when I should just move to the beach and figure it all out" angst. Cue Rush's "Subdivisions". Im so afflicted. And so badly wanting the coat of tan Bill alludes to in his story.

So I get to the meeting and my good friend who got sober in Laguna Beach, Christmas Day 1985 (@hullabelew another date remembered) looked like warmed up leftover hell. He had come to the meeting right after putting his wife in hospice. And he was grateful that he gets to suit up and show up and that his wife isn't going to die alone like so many did in hospitals during covid, with visitors helplessly unable to gather round the death bed.

I just lost it, the tears rolled.

Yeah, thanks god, for what you've given and taken, but most of all what you've left with me.

Last thing. My dad gave me a copy of his new will yesterday. And though he could live 10 hours or 10 years, I'm terrified of losing him.

One main reason for staying in Beaumont is that every weekend I can swing by and pick up Dad, hitch the boat, and be on the gulf in an hour, rod in hand.

[Reagan1k 3024]

On 5/6/2021 at 6:51 AM, SwanderedTalent said:

This morning my second thought was to tell those thoughts to shut the fuck up and my action on the matter will be to suit up and show up. 

Was thinking about this during my morning walk as I drifted into catastrophizing over something ridiculous - when all other evidence points to the contrary. 

If I start spinning in my mind (ahem - when I start spinning....that's my disease default) I don't have to stay there.  How sick do I want to be?  How long am I willing to bathe in it?  I have a choice to take some action, push back on those thoughts, and remember my default perception is normally the wrong one - especially if it leads me into obsessive thinking.  I can be as free as I allow myself to be.

I can't think of the last time I "obsessed" over something that was healthy for me.  But, being stopped by a train can lead me to decide that my wife is leaving me for someone else, my kids hate me, and my next plane trip will crash on takeoff.  That'll never change...it gets better but I'll still go there from time to time.  I can't prevent those thoughts from coming up, but I don't have to wallow in them.  Just as you said, my job is to call them out for what they are - thoughts aren't reality and feelings aren't fact.

Thanks for reminding me of that.  I needed that today.

Edited May 7, 2021 by Reagan1k

[Kennythetiger 9374]

9 hours ago, Reagan1k said:

Was thinking about this during my morning walk as I drifted into catastrophizing over something ridiculous - when all other evidence points to the contrary. 

If I start spinning in my mind (ahem - when I start spinning....that's what my disease default) I don't have to stay there.  How sick do I want to be?  How long am I willing to bathe in it?  I have a choice to take some action, push back on those thoughts, and remember my default perception is normally the wrong one - especially if it leads me into obsessive thinking.  I can be as free as I allow myself to be.

I can't think of the last time I "obsessed" over something that was healthy for me.  But, being stopped by a train can lead me to decide that my wife is leaving me for someone else, my kids hate me, and my next plane trip will crash on takeoff.  That'll never change...it gets better but I'll still go there from time to time.  I can't prevent those thoughts from coming up, but I don't have to wallow in them.  Just as you said, my job is to call them out for what they are - thoughts aren't reality and feelings aren't fact.

Thanks for reminding me of that.  I needed that today.

And I needed this today. Thank you. 

[BearSchlong 8083]

A friend's wife got her 2nd DWI last night, arraigned with the same Judge who is supposed to preside over her 1st DWI this coming Tuesday. Woke up in jail on Mothers day, the day after not seeing her 2 year old on his birthday. Then tried to sever her own carotid artery with a pen the jailer lent her to fill out a form, she got moved to an asylum.

If you met her on the street you'd think she was one of the most beautiful, charming, well put together women you've ever met. Movie star stunning and poised.

Cunning, baffling, powerful. Her husband is coming up on 90 days sober and has been reborn in AA. He stays at his elderly mom's now with their kid, mainly because she kicks him out/threatens divorce/eats pills/guzzles vodka about every other hour and he needs some serenity.

She feels like he abandoned her and joined a cult. Digging in her heels to attempt to make a point.

A life beyond her wildest dreams is so close. . .hope she capitulates while still breathing.

I haven't seen a situation where a guy gets sober which accelerates his mate's unraveling. Weird situation. I pray one day to update y'all with good news.

[JohnnyRage 1617]

I got 99 problems, but Alcohol ain’t 1

[Not a cat 5652]

On 5/9/2021 at 3:13 PM, BearSchlong said:

A friend's wife got her 2nd DWI last night, arraigned with the same Judge who is supposed to preside over her 1st DWI this coming Tuesday. Woke up in jail on Mothers day, the day after not seeing her 2 year old on his birthday. Then tried to sever her own carotid artery with a pen the jailer lent her to fill out a form, she got moved to an asylum.

If you met her on the street you'd think she was one of the most beautiful, charming, well put together women you've ever met. Movie star stunning and poised.

Cunning, baffling, powerful. Her husband is coming up on 90 days sober and has been reborn in AA. He stays at his elderly mom's now with their kid, mainly because she kicks him out/threatens divorce/eats pills/guzzles vodka about every other hour and he needs some serenity.

She feels like he abandoned her and joined a cult. Digging in her heels to attempt to make a point.

A life beyond her wildest dreams is so close. . .hope she capitulates while still breathing.

I haven't seen a situation where a guy gets sober which accelerates his mate's unraveling. Weird situation. I pray one day to update y'all with good news.
 

Crabs in the bucket syndrome.

I remember reading once that 2 alcoholics can stay together just fine as they have a shared interest.  One normie and an alcoholic are going to have some problems.  Make that now sober partner a former drinking buddy and I bet you've got hell breaking loose.

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

Three years sober today. Amen and hallelujah, God is good. 

[Soliver465 404]

12 hours ago, SwanderedTalent said:

Three years sober today. Amen and hallelujah, God is good. 

Congratulations!!  My best friend has been sober for over 20 years and I am extremely proud of him.

[hullabelew 3723]

Been working with a guy who was just released from our common treatment center.  He has some fairly significant legal shit hanging over his head.  Has to report to the VA sponsored IOP where they drug test him...and also his PO.  We do this zoom thing on Friday nights for current patients and he contacted me after one of those.  He was attending those and his IOP and PO said that if I would verify he was attending, he could do that instead of the IOP on Friday nights.  He was just watching a video and discussing it where in our meeting, we talk about real life shit.....as current and former patients.  

Talked to him Friday night.  He called me after I missed the meeting.  Radio silence since.  PO has been calling me. He missed an IOP/drug test then skipped his PO appt on Monday.  He has been in numerous treatment centers.  Young dude.....mid 30s.    I'm really bummed about it. I know it's not on me but I'm not sure I would feel worse if it was me who relapsed and flaked out on the PO appointment.  

[BearSchlong 8083]

Sounds like he's an addict doing addict things. His experiment requires additional field research.  Mid 30s means he might be getting closer.  My most recent pigeon is 52.

I tell my guys I will mirror your effort, precisely.

Funny story that bears mentioning. Very close friend of mine and his wife were the exclusive focus of a cable TV episode.  In general terms, they completed an audaciously difficult project and it was boiled down to an hour episode with excellent editing.  Very popular show. Amazing accomplishment.  Anyone watching was left with the sentiment that they are an incredibly attractive, talented, high-achieving creative couple.  Think along the lines of Chip and Joanna, but it's not them.

Filming was delayed a week while my buddy languished in jail for a felony, and she'll be lucky to avoid incarceration for her own offenses.  Watching the show I can tell in which scenes their speech is a little off, their eyes a little shiny and big.  Let's just say the producers did a great job on the packaging.

Polished product on the outside, soul-crushing misery and unmanageability on the inside. Perfect analogy of the illness, IMO.

[BearSchlong 8083]

Great book.

 

It's great hearing the behind the scenes truth on a product Bill packaged so well.  He had to write it the way he did otherwise it wouldn't have fit into 164 pages.

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

2 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

Great book.

 

It's great hearing the behind the scenes truth on a product Bill packaged so well.  He had to write it the way he did otherwise it wouldn't have fit into 164 pages.

Cool, will check out. I've always liked reading the original unedited manuscript to see what had to be changed-- it had a lot more of a "DO THIS OR YOU'RE FUCKED!" tone

[BearSchlong 8083]

Yeah, I've got that big manuscript coffee table book but I haven't taken the time to really get into it.

The book I just mentioned goes into great detail about how Bill got hooked up through his BIL (the MD Leonard Strong) to Willard "Dick" Richardson who was John D. Rockefeller's college buddy/charity giving manager.  Bill thought he, Dr. Bob, and Hank Parkhurst were about to get paid with some of that Standard Oil money, but JDR had other plans. Bill was pissed and Hank Parkhurst went out and got drunk when he couldn't close the deal. They even chronicle the variations in Bill's tax returns to substantiate/correlate his activities for a given year.

I haven't even gotten to the actual big book part yet.  The teaser in the prologue is that Ebby's visit went WAY different than what's in the Big Book, but Bill had to narrate it differently while keeping the spirit of what actually happened or the reader would have been confused or disinterested.

Corroborates the Big Book as an inspired work, not a factual record - which I think makes it even more powerful and relevant because it reflects actual human motivations.  It wasn't always pretty, actually somewhat ugly at times.  As my favorite Religion professor at Baylor used to say, "If Jesus was a man then what did he do with his hard ons?"

I find beauty and meaning in inspired works by flawed people.

I know some big book thumpers will consider it sacrilege - "It happened exactly as Bill wrote it, dammit!" I've probably been guilty of this at time taking my own sponsees through the book.

[Gatorubet 30185]

If you met her on the street you'd think she was one of the most beautiful, charming, well put together women you've ever met. Movie star stunning and poised.

Cunning, baffling, powerful. Her husband is coming up on 90 days sober and has been reborn in AA. He stays at his elderly mom's now with their kid, mainly because she kicks him out/threatens divorce/eats pills/guzzles vodka about every other hour and he needs some serenity.

She feels like he abandoned her and joined a cult. Digging in her heels to attempt to make a point.

I think I’ve seen that one.

[JohnnyRage 1617]

5 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

Yeah, I've got that big manuscript coffee table book but I haven't taken the time to really get into it.

The book I just mentioned goes into great detail about how Bill got hooked up through his BIL (the MD Leonard Strong) to Willard "Dick" Richardson who was John D. Rockefeller's college buddy/charity giving manager.  Bill thought he, Dr. Bob, and Hank Parkhurst were about to get paid with some of that Standard Oil money, but JDR had other plans. Bill was pissed and Hank Parkhurst went out and got drunk when he couldn't close the deal. They even chronicle the variations in Bill's tax returns to substantiate/correlate his activities for a given year.

I haven't even gotten to the actual big book part yet.  The teaser in the prologue is that Ebby's visit went WAY different than what's in the Big Book, but Bill had to narrate it differently while keeping the spirit of what actually happened or the reader would have been confused or disinterested.

Corroborates the Big Book as an inspired work, not a factual record - which I think makes it even more powerful and relevant because it reflects actual human motivations.  It wasn't always pretty, actually somewhat ugly at times.  As my favorite Religion professor at Baylor used to say, "If Jesus was a man then what did he do with his hard ons?"

I find beauty and meaning in inspired works by flawed people.

I know some big book thumpers will consider it sacrilege - "It happened exactly as Bill wrote it, dammit!" I've probably been guilty of this at time taking my own sponsees through the book.

I’ve heard that one of the resentments that Hank held that led to him going back out was Bill cock blocking the secretary, despite being a married man. He would soon sell his 1/3 stakeholder-ship for a small amount of cash in lieu of his office furniture that they had kept. He was tight for some drinking money.

 

In no way does any of the historical record bother me. Like you, I find it even more compelling and interesting that a bunch of drunk assholes, just like us, could pull it together and accomplish something so amazing. It is inspiring!

Edited June 2, 2021 by JohnnyRage

[El Diablo 4232]

"Principles before personality". 

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

16 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

I haven't even gotten to the actual big book part yet.  The teaser in the prologue is that Ebby's visit went WAY different than what's in the Big Book, but Bill had to narrate it differently while keeping the spirit of what actually happened or the reader would have been confused or disinterested.

Fascinating, can't wait to read about that. Ebby's visit is one of those parts of the Book I can read where I *know* I'm an alcoholic, because I can put myself in Bill's shoes re: that appeal of and perverse relief in knowing he'd secured his ability to drink round the clock during the dark, shorter days of early winter, that reassurance of thinking "I've got enough booze stashed here for a couple days!" Like he basically thought he was bulletproof regarding anything Ebby might say to him because he was drunk, drinking, and in possession of more to drink. 

For me, at the end, that was the one positive thing I could still feel-- the excitement of being totally isolated and surrounded by booze. All the shame and guilt and fear and worry could not amount to enough to motivate me to quit, because of the way my brain lit up thinking about chasing that feeling of blissful drunkenness. I say "chasing" because there was nothing blissful about drinking at that point-- I was chasing something that had stopped happening years ago. Whatever initial rush of euphoria the first drink gave me dissipated within seconds and then it was "well maybe another drink will make me feel better" or "well I feel pretty sick, I better take another drink" or "maybe a few more drinks and I'll pass out" or there wasn't even any conscious thought, just autopilot. Lift, swallow, fight to keep it down, repeat. 

I didn't have a 1x1 sitdown like Bill had with Ebby, but that was only because I wasn't ready to make sobriety my number one priority. I eventually did have tremendously meaningful 1x1 relationships with fellow alcoholics-- the one I'll never forget was with Andrew, this sweet natured guitar slayer counselor at my residential rehab. I told him something I'd never told anyone else, that initially (as like a 17-20 yr old) I wanted to be an alcoholic, because I thought it made me a dangerous cool bad boy and God knows I wasn't actually any of those things as a college freshman. I thought that was the most embarrassing thing I'd ever admitted, until his eyes got real wide and he said "DUDE me too!" and we ragged on our 18-yr old selves for thirty minutes. 

I heard a song on the PA while grocery shopping at 630 this morning (yes, HEB was open). It was a big hit when I was a college junior, and I was overwhelmed by the sudden realization that there was no way looking back 27 years that I could have imagined sitting in my dorm room watching MTV where I would be on June 2, 2021. I might as well live on a moon colony, my reality is so divorced from anything my imagination could have conjured at that time. And I don't mean that in terms of "you became famous and wealthy" or anything that pedestrian. I just mean it's amazing how happy and joyous and free God has made me through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. It's basically, "imagine how happy you think you'd be starting at point guard for the Houston Rockets or fucking Cindy Crawford or opening for the Black Crowes.... now imagine being ten times that happy just living an ordinary life". 

It's a program of miracles.

[JohnnyRage 1617]

Amen

[RubyManJack 47]

Hi, I could use some help from the recovering braintrust and friends here. 

I'm on a committee and we are trying to come up groups that we could do volunteer hours for that would be in line with alcoholism and addiction (the impact of them).  The ones that jumped to mind for me were local food banks (economic disruption as is part of the disease), Salvation Army, local housing mission.  But I need something with a national footprint were I can point a national organization comprised of folks across America towards.

Anyone have any good or bad experiences they can share about trying to do such a thing?

[JohnnyRage 1617]

Is this CTCJ?

[Bash Riprock 1695]

Recovering Alcoholic recovering from foot surgery. They gave me 25 hydrocodone's for pain. I've taken 2 in the two months I've been recuperating. Proud of myself. 

[TwiceHorn 31438]

5 minutes ago, Bash Riprock said:

Recovering Alcoholic recovering from foot surgery. They gave me 25 hydrocodone's for pain. I've taken 2 in the two months I've been recuperating. Proud of myself. 

I had a finger surgery with a pin and screw back in January 2019.  I was given a pretty lightweight "Tylenol with Codeine" type of thing.  A few hours after the surgery, it started throbbing fairly mightily, but didn't hurt.  Out of fear, and to sleep, I took one, or two or whatever the prescribed dosage was.  It wasn't supposed to last until morning.  I slept fine, even after it wore off, and didn't take any more.  All it did was throb for a day or two.

I was kind of ashamed of surrendering to the fear, but I didn't go on a six month bender, so all's well that ends well.  I have a pretty high pain tolerance, as evidenced by the fact that I continued to drink for so long after it started to exceed a normal person's pain threshold.

[MaybeACoordinator 8349]

4 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

I had a finger surgery with a pin and screw back in January 2019.  I was given a pretty lightweight "Tylenol with Codeine" type of thing.  A few hours after the surgery, it started throbbing fairly mightily, but didn't hurt.  Out of fear, and to sleep, I took one, or two or whatever the prescribed dosage was.  It wasn't supposed to last until morning.  I slept fine, even after it wore off, and didn't take any more.  All it did was throb for a day or two.

I was kind of ashamed of surrendering to the fear, but I didn't go on a six month bender, so all's well that ends well.  I have a pretty high pain tolerance, as evidenced by the fact that I continued to drink for so long after it started to exceed a normal person's pain threshold.

I tend to believe opiates and alcohol are different enough for most drunks to use painkillers as prescribed w/o a lapse into booze. I got a script a few years ago for my wisdom teeth and I don't think I even finished it. Just my opinion...there might be studies out there proving me wrong in too many cases for doctors to take the risk.

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

12 minutes ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

I tend to believe opiates and alcohol are different enough for most drunks to use painkillers as prescribed w/o a lapse into booze. I got a script a few years ago for my wisdom teeth and I don't think I even finished it. Just my opinion...there might be studies out there proving me wrong in too many cases for doctors to take the risk.

That is personally true for me. I wouldn't advise anyone else either way on it, but for me, it's apples to oranges. I don't mean "as long as I'm not drinking it doesn't count". I mean that in terms of why I take prescribed medications and how they affect my thinking, it's just not the same thing. 

I would not smoke medically prescribed marijuana, FWIW. I was never a pot smoker but when I did smoke it in college, it was to get high. I've never gotten or tried to get high on prescription drugs. 

[TwiceHorn 31438]

One time when I was still actively drinking and was jonesing bad for whatever reason (Sunday morning or some other planning failure), I took a hydrocodone I had sitting around in an old bottle.  It didn't do the trick and made me kind of nauseous.  So I agree that it's not perfectly interchangeable.

That said, I think there's a very high chance of "cross addiction" or switching addictions from one substance to another, or even other compulsive behaviors.  I don't believe marijuana is nearly as harmful as alcohol, and has less potential for addiction.  But I have seen drunks on the marijuana maintenance plan exhibit 100% of addict thinking and symptomology, without the hangovers and general purpose illness.  So I'm not going to screw around with any of it.

The other thing, in the same bike crash that did the finger, i broke my collarbone.  While it could be pretty painful with a wrong move, it wasn't constantly so.  I didn't have any treatment for it besides supervision by an orthopedist and he recommended no NSAIDs as the "bleeding" feature can impact bone knitting.  So I pretty much went without.  I think I did take an Aleve or two the first couple of nights before receiving that advice from the ortho.  Again, just fear of what kind of pain I might have and inability to sleep, both of which were pretty negligible.

Addicts and fear, man.  

[BearSchlong 8083]

1 hour ago, RubyManJack said:

Hi, I could use some help from the recovering braintrust and friends here. 

I'm on a committee and we are trying to come up groups that we could do volunteer hours for that would be in line with alcoholism and addiction (the impact of them).  The ones that jumped to mind for me were local food banks (economic disruption as is part of the disease), Salvation Army, local housing mission.  But I need something with a national footprint were I can point a national organization comprised of folks across America towards.

Anyone have any good or bad experiences they can share about trying to do such a thing?

Interesting that there are national foundations for research, treatment, and humanitarian aid for cancer, heart disease, Alzheimer's, Autism, and just about every other disease, but none for alcoholism and addiction.

If it were me, I'd focus on CASA or the foster care system, or big brothers/big sisters.

Other than the Salvation Army, I can't think of a national organization that meets your criteria.  My advice would be to focus on collaterally damaged.  Neglected and abused children.

[BearSchlong 8083]

I fucking love me some hydrocodone.  I don't identify as an addict, I'm an alcoholic that enjoyed side dishes limited to pills and weed, but my drug of choice was scotch.

Shoulder surgery at 8 years sober required I take Norcos for about 10 days.  My wife dispensed them exactly as prescribed, because I asked her to help me with that responsibility.  I can't honestly say I would have been able to limit myself if I had been recuperating alone.  Just too many possibilities for me to slide off the rails.  With her help, I actually took fewer than prescribed, and my litmus test was to take one only when I absolutely had to knock the edge off the pain.

Early in sobriety I had a tooth extracted and was prescribed codeine - which is the pillhead equivalent of an oenophile having to settle for warm boone's farm.  1 day in, taking as prescribed, I felt the sudden urge to double up a dose - immediately flushed the remainder, about 27 pills out of 30, and called my sponsor.  Terrifying.

Alcohol in any form can be cunning, baffling, and powerful.

 

Edited June 8, 2021 by BearSchlong

[Charles DeMar 221]

Been hookin' 'em and hearting some older posts.  Just haven't been here in a while and having one of those days, so greatly appreciate the "this too shall pass," and "have that second thought" comments in the last month.

 

Appreciate all y'all, and happy to be sober today no matter my circumstances.

 

CDM

[Celery Man 20931]

9 hours ago, RubyManJack said:

Hi, I could use some help from the recovering braintrust and friends here. 

I'm on a committee and we are trying to come up groups that we could do volunteer hours for that would be in line with alcoholism and addiction (the impact of them).  The ones that jumped to mind for me were local food banks (economic disruption as is part of the disease), Salvation Army, local housing mission.  But I need something with a national footprint were I can point a national organization comprised of folks across America towards.

Anyone have any good or bad experiences they can share about trying to do such a thing?

I did IOP (intensive outpatient program) at the place (Austin Recovery) across the street from the Salvation Army Adult Rehabilitation Center off Ben White, and the iop had a bunch of dudes from the ARC. Wasn’t impressed with the actual IOP, but talking with those guys from the ARC and hearing their stories - Salvation Army is doing the lord’s work there. Nobody gives a shit about dysfunctional adult men with drug and alcohol problems, and there they go giving a shit. I’m sure the success rate is abysmal, but I’m certain that some get their shit together. That’s a miracle. Those guys were getting either help or tough love.

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

8 hours ago, TwiceHorn said:

One time when I was still actively drinking and was jonesing bad for whatever reason (Sunday morning or some other planning failure), I took a hydrocodone I had sitting around in an old bottle.  It didn't do the trick and made me kind of nauseous.  So I agree that it's not perfectly interchangeable.

That said, I think there's a very high chance of "cross addiction" or switching addictions from one substance to another, or even other compulsive behaviors.  I don't believe marijuana is nearly as harmful as alcohol, and has less potential for addiction.  But I have seen drunks on the marijuana maintenance plan exhibit 100% of addict thinking and symptomology, without the hangovers and general purpose illness.  So I'm not going to screw around with any of it.

When I had my wisdom teeth out in 2000 or 2001, I got two Vicodin prescriptions. One strong, one weak. I took two of the strong ones by mistake (yes, really) and turned so green my work friends at lunch were like "dude, take the rest of the day off, we'll give you a ride home). It was gross, nothing about it felt good. It seems impossible to me to imagine ever trying to get stoned on pills. 

But prescription drug abuse is a tremendous problem in this country, and multiple addictions are a real thing, so I'm not telling anyone else what they should or shouldn't do. I am just personally not concerned with my prescribed medications, used properly.

[TwiceHorn 31438]

45 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

I did IOP (intensive outpatient program) at the place (Austin Recovery) across the street from the Salvation Army Adult Rehabilitation Center off Ben White, and the iop had a bunch of dudes from the ARC. Wasn’t impressed with the actual IOP, but talking with those guys from the ARC and hearing their stories - Salvation Army is doing the lord’s work there. Nobody gives a shit about dysfunctional adult men with drug and alcohol problems, and there they go giving a shit. I’m sure the success rate is abysmal, but I’m certain that some get their shit together. That’s a miracle. Those guys were getting either help or tough love.

Some of SA's religious things irk me, but yes, agree that they do the Lord's work with recovering and otherwise marginalized men.

[BearSchlong 8083]

At the halfway house where I serve, if a guy has a significant slip but wants to remain there, he's asked to spend 3 nights at the Salvation Army shelter, which is only a few blocks away.  It's a way to prove their intent to pursue sobriety.  The alternative is to go live under the bridge, so lots of guys choose the SA route. Agree with Twice, you get a shelter with a heaping side order of doctrine.

[RubyManJack 47]

14 hours ago, Celery Man said:

I did IOP (intensive outpatient program) at the place (Austin Recovery) across the street from the Salvation Army Adult Rehabilitation Center off Ben White, and the iop had a bunch of dudes from the ARC. Wasn’t impressed with the actual IOP, but talking with those guys from the ARC and hearing their stories - Salvation Army is doing the lord’s work there. Nobody gives a shit about dysfunctional adult men with drug and alcohol problems, and there they go giving a shit. I’m sure the success rate is abysmal, but I’m certain that some get their shit together. That’s a miracle. Those guys were getting either help or tough love.

Amen, I have recommended we support this. Seems like worthy of our time!

[StruggleBus 3922]

I'm not sure if I fit the alcoholic label or not. Never done much research. But I've been a 2-4 drinks in the evening guy for the last 20 years. Usually I drink more on the weekends. It hasn't effected my personal relationships but has definitely effected my health. I can probably count the number of days I haven't had a drink in the last twenty years on two hands.

Finally decided to give a rest and it was really hard stop. But I'm now three weeks in and my body feels better and I'm getting better sleep. Didn't plan on giving it up for good but now I'm thinking it's probably a good idea. 

[Kennythetiger 9374]

Glad you’re feeling better. Economics were/are always a driving factor for me as well. Pay attention to that too. 
Do whatever works best for you. 

[TwiceHorn 31438]

6 hours ago, StruggleBus said:

I'm not sure if I fit the alcoholic label or not. Never done much research. But I've been a 2-4 drinks in the evening guy for the last 20 years. Usually I drink more on the weekends. It hasn't effected my personal relationships but has definitely effected my health. I can probably count the number of days I haven't had a drink in the last twenty years on two hands.

Finally decided to give a rest and it was really hard stop. But I'm now three weeks in and my body feels better and I'm getting better sleep. Didn't plan on giving it up for good but now I'm thinking it's probably a good idea. 

There's not a ton of research to do, really.  And you're doing it right now, by quitting.

The acid test is do you start back up even though you don't want to.

The bold is not a thought that enters many true alcoholic's minds.  The alcoholic thought is more "I don't want to give it up, but if I don't I'll end up friendless and dead, in prison, or in an institution.  So maybe I can just give it up for a while  . . .  or cut down  . . .  or any goddamn thing except completely quit."

[JohnnyRage 1617]

21 hours ago, StruggleBus said:

I'm not sure if I fit the alcoholic label or not. Never done much research. But I've been a 2-4 drinks in the evening guy for the last 20 years. Usually I drink more on the weekends. It hasn't effected my personal relationships but has definitely effected my health. I can probably count the number of days I haven't had a drink in the last twenty years on two hands.

Finally decided to give a rest and it was really hard stop. But I'm now three weeks in and my body feels better and I'm getting better sleep. Didn't plan on giving it up for good but now I'm thinking it's probably a good idea. 

What the LawCat above me said.

 

Try quitting for 3 - 6 months. 6 months is when they say that some of the pathways in your brain start evening out.

If you make it and you want to go back in, fine go back in. We here really don't want you to be one of us. Or, if you find that your life just keeps getting better, then just keep riding that wave all the way to golden shores.

 

15 hours ago, TwiceHorn said:

The acid test is do you start back up even though you don't want to.

 

This, but I also feel it's about mind bogglingly ending back up in the same exact place of pain and consequences, a lack of control and needing to quit.

 

Edited June 10, 2021 by JohnnyRage

[BearSchlong 8083]

22 hours ago, StruggleBus said:

I'm not sure if I fit the alcoholic label or not. Never done much research. But I've been a 2-4 drinks in the evening guy for the last 20 years. Usually I drink more on the weekends. It hasn't effected my personal relationships but has definitely effected my health. I can probably count the number of days I haven't had a drink in the last twenty years on two hands.

Finally decided to give a rest and it was really hard stop. But I'm now three weeks in and my body feels better and I'm getting better sleep. Didn't plan on giving it up for good but now I'm thinking it's probably a good idea. 

Personal relationships - this bears further scrutiny.  Have you flat out asked everyone around you their opinion on your drinking?  The bolded statement above might not be accurate, if the previous 2 sentences are true.

I have no opinion on if you're alcoholic or not, but my observation is that stopping cold turkey after 20 years of hard drinking may reveal some things.

[StruggleBus 3922]

17 minutes ago, BearSchlong said:

Personal relationships - this bears further scrutiny.  Have you flat out asked everyone around you their opinion on your drinking?  The bolded statement above might not be accurate, if the previous 2 sentences are true.

I have no opinion on if you're alcoholic or not, but my observation is that stopping cold turkey after 20 years of hard drinking may reveal some things.

That's fair. And no, I haven't. 

 

[Abogado Peligroso 89]

I have never posted on this thread but lurked while I was still drinking.  Today is my 44th birthday and I have been alcohol free since January 31, 2021.   I am an alcoholic and it was the best decision I ever made.   This is the best thread on surly.  Life is great!

[BearSchlong 8083]

Happy Birthday. Would love to hear more of your story.

[pch 1259]

The 74th Texas State AA Convention concluded yesterday here in Cowtown and it was truly a spiritual experience.  One of the most enjoyable moments was when my wife and I got to meet two sisters from Atlanta, Georgia.  Their mother has been sober for a number of years and tried to share the message with them but they were not ready.  However, she was determined that her girls needed help and reached out to a member of our group here in Ft. Worth who she once dated.  He was able to encourage one of the girls to attend a zoom meeting of our group and soon she was joined by her sister.  Neither one of them had ever attended an in person meeting until last Friday, when they came to our 7am meeting and were mobbed by the crowd that had shown up after the meeting restrictions were lifted.  We got to be their tour guides on Saturday and had lunch with 15 members on the Northside at a famous Mexican restaurant.  God used Zoom technology to connect these women with us and the life they both now lead is based in recovery and helping others.  Looking forward to the meetings in Austin next year and hearing about other miracles such as this one.

[DallasHorn26 586]

So thankful for this program and my daily reprieve. I was presented with a legal scenario a little over a week ago that would have lead me to a drink if it weren't for the program. Instead, I see it as an opportunity to make some amends and right some wrongs of my past.

Grateful to be here. It's a good day to have  a good day.

[pch 1259]

First Father's day since my son died in January.  I cried a little bit this morning on the 7am zoom meeting recalling how fond I was to receive a call from him wishing me a happy day and telling me how much he loved me.  I will always remember those phone calls but more than that, I went to a 9am in person meeting and spent some time with a man who got 60 days today and then chaired the 11 am speaker meeting for a friend who played at UT in the 80's for Fred.  My extended AA family is always here for me on days like this and no one knows how to help an alcoholic like another alcoholic.  My story expands with each day like this when I do what is suggested in the program instead of isolating-a character defect that I am grateful to have had removed by doing my part.  Happy Father's day to each of you here-hug your kids and thank God they are in your life.