I'm An Alcoholic

[BearSchlong 8083]

Good God, thank you for coming back and posting.

Sending a PM

[hornbri 1396]

1 hour ago, Bash Riprock said:

I relapsed hard on Wednesday.

I work at a software company and since covid hit of course we all went home. I live alone and it was hard for me mentally to work, eat and sleep in the same place. It causes isolation. And it drives me crazy. But somehow I stayed sober.

In March '21 you were allowed to go back in the office. I was so happy! What surprised me was that on some days I would be the only one on my floor. People just prefer home.

One of our new guys went to Florida two weeks ago. He got strep while he was there and I ended up with it as well. Also this same guy was tested on a Sunday for Covid. So without knowing the results he still comes in on Monday. He gets a call at 1030am. Its his doc telling him he has rona. We go home.

Wednesday I picked up. And this has been the hardest most grossest relapse ever. Like crawling on the floor. Vomit. Piss. Screaming for help. I finally started to taper. I told my employer my strep came back. The director of HR knows I relapsed. She is one of the best human beings ever met. The ONLY person who I can talk to. Paid for treatment twice for me in the last 7 years.

I couldn't stand my house anymore. I'm in a hotel tonight. Just showered and ate. I'm drinking the 99 shooters every like 6 hours. But I haven't had 1 in 9 hours. I'm nearly done shaking. I'm going to work tomorrow but it has to be from home.

Fuck, that was a long post. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I'm 40, and that one was the worst. I know I could have died easily.

Thanks for sharing, we will be rooting for you. 

[hornbri 1396]

Double double 

Edited August 16, 2021 by hornbri

[JohnnyRage 1617]

Shit happens. Some of us fall down. Some of us don't get back up.

Now climb back onto your horse and get back to riding that thing called life. Makes some changes, some additions -  some subtractions.

Pray. Pray even if you don't believe in the thing you are praying towards. All things must pass, including this moment too.

[BBQ2Bayou 807]

Nobody's beating you up as much as yourself, @Bash Riprock. Remember that piss and vomit floor-crawling, and how much more you like your life without that. 

You hate yourself for doing it and that's good. Just hate this fuck up, and not yourself overall. You ain't alone here and know you have it in you to turn it back around. 

[BearSchlong 8083]

Lost a close friend and sobriety mentor to Covid on Saturday, and I'm angry and sad.  I called him the week before last when I heard he might have Covid and caught him in the ER waiting room, sucking oxygen and waiting on a bed.  47 years old, over 20 years sober, and no other health problems.  My last thought when I hung up the phone was that he was too tough, ornery, and stubborn to die from Covid, but I was wrong.

99% sure he wasn't vaccinated, but that's not important now.  If I could turn back the clock a month and call him and yell at him to stop being a dumbass I would do anything to make that phone call.

He was one of the first people who taught me 12 step work. . .one time almost 10 years ago we fed a guy gatorade and honey and drove him to Houston to rehab, and on the 2 hour drive home he told me his story, and from that night he was in my heart.  I found myself on FM 1960 last night on that same route and thought back to that evening.

He was the kind of guy that would act unaffected, was overly honest and direct and almost mean on 12 step calls. . .then follow up with "oh by the way I've got your reservation at the treatment center, say the word and I'll drive you over, I've taken care of everything."  He was real old-school.

He left a wife and hundreds of people who loved him fiercely - even though they may not have liked him.  He and my wife went to high school together and I was so looking forward to he and I anchoring the sober table at their 30th high school reunion.

Alcoholism, politics, and the disease of perception just makes a mess of common sense sometimes.

[BearSchlong 8083]

9 minutes ago, BBQ2Bayou said:

Nobody's beating you up as much as yourself, @Bash Riprock. Remember that piss and vomit floor-crawling, and how much more you like your life without that. 

You hate yourself for doing it and that's good. Just hate this fuck up, and not yourself overall. You ain't alone here and know you have it in you to turn it back around. 

@Bash Riprock - it's called "field research" - I did it intensely for 22 years, and my dissertation on that particular course of study concluded that I'm a garden variety alcoholic.

Alcoholism is nothing more than self loathing.

The only way that I find relief from that is AA and 12 step recovery.  It's simple, brilliant, and liberating.

If my creator doesn't want me living happy, joyous, and free. . .well, then he can go to hell.  Give me a call, at the least I'll make you laugh. Seriously, I need it.  You've got my number.

[Charles DeMar 221]

2 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

@Bash Riprock - it's called "field research" - I did it intensely for 22 years, and my dissertation on that particular course of study concluded that I'm a garden variety alcoholic.

Alcoholism is nothing more than self loathing.

The only way that I find relief from that is AA and 12 step recovery.  It's simple, brilliant, and liberating.

If my creator doesn't want me living happy, joyous, and free. . .well, then he can go to hell.  Give me a call, at the least I'll make you laugh. Seriously, I need it.  You've got my number.

Alcoholism is nothing more than self loathing.

 

Well said, Bear.

 

Glad to be here and in the physical and zoom rooms, too.  By my Higher Power's grace, was able to celebrate 3 years last week.

 

Thanks to all you guys on this board here and at ToS, all of whom I led myself to believe I was unlike.  Thanks for being raw and honest and vulnerable.

 

CdM

[JohnnyRage 1617]

I’m pretty much all things Bear, but the program utilized by some in this thread divides the malady into two parts: craving and the mental obsession.

 

I think the insanity of the mental obsession can be aggregated into ‘self-loathing’, or wanting to feel momentarily different at the risk of everything. But the ‘craving’, or active addiction part, is something different. It involves signals and the needs of the amoebic mind (just made that up). It is an alternate path of thinking that is subconscious and makes my willpower null and void.

Just my opinion. It is too simplistic and borderline misinformation to not include the physical craving.

Just my humble opinion.

[BearSchlong 8083]

1 hour ago, JohnnyRage said:

I’m pretty much all things Bear, but the program utilized by some in this thread divides the malady into two parts: craving and the mental obsession.

 

I think the insanity of the mental obsession can be aggregated into ‘self-loathing’, or wanting to feel momentarily different at the risk of everything. But the ‘craving’, or active addiction part, is something different. It involves signals and the needs of the amoebic mind (just made that up). It is an alternate path of thinking that is subconscious and makes my willpower null and void.

Just my opinion. It is too simplistic and borderline misinformation to not include the physical craving.

Just my humble opinion.

You're 100% correct, I blew past the physical and straight into the -isms.

 

 

[Bash Riprock 1695]

Thanks for all of your messages. I went home and went to work on my house (cleaning it) and got online and went back to work. The fog is clearing big time. I think I found an IOP and a sober living place here in Lubbock. Most of them I'm banned from (lol) except 1 and it's the nicest one in town. My house is paid off so I can afford to live somewhere else for 6 months or so. Lubbock is a big Recovery Community. Tech has the Center for the Study of Addiction and Recovery which is affiliated with a Treatment Center here in town and if you graduated from said treatment center they have an alumni group every Monday night, so I'll be heading to that tonight.

Here is the sober living I will try and get into and do IOP.

Again thanks for the messages and @BearSchlong I'll probably be calling you some night this week. 

Years ago, I think in '08 I posted a message with all my vodka bottles I had drank in two nights and said I was giving up and ready to take my life. This was on ShaggyTexas I'll never forgot the calls and outpouring of support. 
 

Hook'em from this Red Raider. 

 

[Nice Guy Eddie 13509]

Many people live alone and struggle with how COVID has kept us away from others for so long now. I would recommend calling someone that you know is also home alone. Perhaps they want to talk, maybe they don't. But I wouldn't be surprised if you find yourself talking to them for an hour or so. Texting someone isn't the same. @Bash Riprock 

[El Diablo 4232]

Glad you're back! Now I've got some bad news and some good news - We're scheduled to have Wednesdays every week for the foreseeable future. The good news is you know what to do. Love ya, man. 

[Kennythetiger 9376]

4 hours ago, Bash Riprock said:

 Most of them I'm banned from (lol) except 1 and it's the nicest one in town.

This made me laugh out loud. Y’all motherfuckers need Jesus. Maybe I could maintain sobriety on my own, maybe not. Sure is easier with all of you guys on here. 
Glad you had the guts to post how your last few days have gone. 

[pch 1259]

Without help it is too much for us.  Anything I can do to help here, let me know.

[Kennythetiger 9376]

Bash, any updates?  

[hullabelew 3723]

Sending peaceful thoughts @Bash Riprock.  Glad you made it back.   

I wish more places had a strong, working alumni association.  The treatment center I went to in Nashville has a strong alumni association.  But my IOP in Atlanta makes you pay extra.  I don't mind the money....it was less than my copay for my therapist but they make you do weekly drug testing at a 3rd party.  And again, not the the cost...it is just the extra hurdle and hassle they make you jump through.  They say it is to show responsibility, but it  seems counter productive to me.    I do 2-3 Zoom alumni 'after care' sessions a week with the Nashville bunch.  Serves a great purpose, especially with me being so far away.  

Bass player in my band is in the hospital with Covid.  He and his wife initially got it in March, 2020 from a Chinese exchange student.   He procrastinated getting a vaccine and thought he was safe, having had it before.  His wife just spend a week in the hospital and he went in the day she got out.  

 

[Bash Riprock 1695]

4 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

Bash, any updates?  

Went to that Alumni meeting last night knew no one except for a few LCDC's. Anytime this afternoon Sober Living and IOP should be calling me. Tonight I am going to go to the Group I use to go to before Covid hit. It's no smoking and a lot wisdom in the room. At lunch today I finally got rid of all the remnants and bad reminders that were still lying around from last week. Tonight after the meeting I'm going to take a long walk around an area of town of when I was the happiest in my life and sober. Thanks for asking @Kennythetiger.

Edited August 17, 2021 by Bash Riprock

[hullabelew 3723]

Outstanding news @Bash Riprock

I went to a 'beginners' meeting last night.  I fucking LOVE going to this one.  A local treatment center sends people to this meeting to get them experience in outside meetings.  Probably 45 people there..most had less than 6 months.  

At this meeting, only people with less than 6 months share at first...then they bump it up to a year...but the 6 month crowd filled up the time last night.  One dude says, "My last drink was 33 minutes ago.   I drank on the way over here."  Two people fresh out of jail.  One was a 45ish year old, really, really hot chick.  She had just gotten busted on a probation violation and spent 15 days in the hoosegow.  I don't ever need to forget those feelings.  

[baboso 6054]

28 minutes ago, hullabelew said:

One was a 45ish year old, really, really hot chick. 

How did BearSchlong phrase it?  The odds are good, but the goods are odd.

[DallasHorn26 586]

4 hours ago, hullabelew said:

Outstanding news @Bash Riprock

I went to a 'beginners' meeting last night.  I fucking LOVE going to this one.  A local treatment center sends people to this meeting to get them experience in outside meetings.  Probably 45 people there..most had less than 6 months.  

At this meeting, only people with less than 6 months share at first...then they bump it up to a year...but the 6 month crowd filled up the time last night.  One dude says, "My last drink was 33 minutes ago.   I drank on the way over here."  Two people fresh out of jail.  One was a 45ish year old, really, really hot chick.  She had just gotten busted on a probation violation and spent 15 days in the hoosegow.  I don't ever need to forget those feelings.  

That's one of my favorite meetings of the week. My sponsor and I go to a meeting at the Dallas 24 hour club on Mondays that's a required meeting for the residents that have been there less than a certain amount of time (60 days I think). Most of the room usually has 30 days or less and it seems to be a new crowd every week. Several are fresh off the streets or out of jail.

[Bash Riprock 1695]

Moving into sober living tomorrow!

[MaybeACoordinator 8349]

On 8/18/2021 at 10:22 AM, hullabelew said:

Outstanding news @Bash Riprock

I went to a 'beginners' meeting last night.  I fucking LOVE going to this one.  A local treatment center sends people to this meeting to get them experience in outside meetings.  Probably 45 people there..most had less than 6 months.  

At this meeting, only people with less than 6 months share at first...then they bump it up to a year...but the 6 month crowd filled up the time last night.  One dude says, "My last drink was 33 minutes ago.   I drank on the way over here."  Two people fresh out of jail.  One was a 45ish year old, really, really hot chick.  She had just gotten busted on a probation violation and spent 15 days in the hoosegow.  I don't ever need to forget those feelings.  

i was in one like that where they bring in people from a nearby psych ward. Before they let them out of the van, they take away their shoes, to make any escape attempt that much harder. 

[Gabe Horn 1]

I used to go to the Suburban Group on E North Loop, it was across the street from house in the same plaza as Epoch Coffee. 

[closetohumping 17435]

On 8/16/2021 at 3:11 PM, Bash Riprock said:

Thanks for all of your messages. I went home and went to work on my house (cleaning it) and got online and went back to work. The fog is clearing big time. I think I found an IOP and a sober living place here in Lubbock. Most of them I'm banned from (lol) except 1 and it's the nicest one in town. My house is paid off so I can afford to live somewhere else for 6 months or so. Lubbock is a big Recovery Community. Tech has the Center for the Study of Addiction and Recovery which is affiliated with a Treatment Center here in town and if you graduated from said treatment center they have an alumni group every Monday night, so I'll be heading to that tonight.

Here is the sober living I will try and get into and do IOP.

Again thanks for the messages and @BearSchlong I'll probably be calling you some night this week. 

Years ago, I think in '08 I posted a message with all my vodka bottles I had drank in two nights and said I was giving up and ready to take my life. This was on ShaggyTexas I'll never forgot the calls and outpouring of support. 
 

Hook'em from this Red Raider. 

 

Bash, be well brother.  I know you from the Hornfans days.  You didn't know me at all but you offered me your couch if I couldn't find a hotel in Dallas.  You're good people.

[Herbie Hancock 7345]

I don’t know how many of you besides Schlong will remember my coworker that’s been battling this demon for almost four years now, but it came to a head last week. As of Thursday he is officially unemployed. I’ve seen him in bad shape many times, but what I witnessed at his hearing Thursday was something I wasn’t ready for. I don’t know if he’ll be alive by Christmas, but if he is he will almost certainly be homeless.

I have three of his guns due to a previous incident he had about five years ago that prohibited him from owning firearms. I found out today that he has procured a pistol because he told me he stared at it for a long time the other night. Schlong warned me that he would have to hit rock bottom before he could begin his upward climb. He also warned me that some people’s rock bottom is death and I’m terrified that death is Mike’s rock bottom….

[Clintonaldo 2573]

About 2.5 hours from where I live in Tennessee there was a serious flood and it has wiped out a town. I will probably be going there for work today to see it first hand. They interviewed a guy and I thought his interview was appropriate for this thread. I hope this link works. 

 

https://m.facebook.com/100000022909516/posts/4679140935429957/?d=n

[Kennythetiger 9376]

I don’t ask why. I just do what he says. 

[Bash Riprock 1695]

So, I've been in Sober Living since Saturday. I really enjoy it. I have my own room and it's in this wing of the house where I have a lot of privacy. Last night after IOP me and the guys cooked out. I would say the average age is about 25. I'm 40 and there are 2 other guys in their 40s. I'm really liking my decision to do this. 

[Bash Riprock 1695]

Here's my room. Not too bad.

 

[hullabelew 3723]

More outstanding news @Bash Riprock!  

I've been riding rollercoaster lately.  Told the wife I was headed to a meeting the other night and she threw a grade A hissy fit.  "You going to ANOTHER meeting?"   She did this about 9 years ago and I left the house, went to a bar and drank for the next 7 years.  Pissed me off.  This time, I responded rather than reacted, but it still pissed me off.    I generally go to 2 meetings a week....occasionally 3.  I also attend 2-3 Zoom After Care meetings from my treatment center, one which I co-host.  

Although I responded like I should have, I've still been in a fucking funk over it.  I've been trying to give her leeway for the past 2 plus years.  She used to go to Al-Anon, but hasn't in a while.  But her belief thru her actions that once you quit, you are cured just ain't going to cut it.  

 

Edited August 24, 2021 by hullabelew

[Bash Riprock 1695]

19 minutes ago, hullabelew said:

More outstanding news @Bash Riprock!  

I've been riding rollercoaster lately.  Told the wife I was headed to a meeting the other night and she threw a grade A hissy fit.  "You going to ANOTHER meeting?"   She did this about 9 years ago and I left the house, went to a bar and drank for the next 7 years.  Pissed me off.  This time, I responded rather than reacted, but it still pissed me off.    I generally go to 2 meetings a week....occasionally 3.  I also attend 2-3 Zoom After Care meetings from my treatment center, one which I co-host.  

Although I responded like I should have, I've still been in a fucking funk over it.  I've been trying to give her leeway for the past 2 plus years.  She used to go to Al-Anon, but hasn't in a while.  But her belief thru her actions that once you quit, you are cured just ain't going to cut it.  

 

That's got to be hard having to deal with that. I am glad you responded well. Right now I'm on this sober high, I'm sure I will be in a funk at some point like yourself. Hopefully with IOP I will get the tools to help me get through that. 

Be happy man. You're sober, and I'm sober. 🙂 

[BearSchlong 8083]

17 hours ago, Herbie Hancock said:

I don’t know how many of you besides Schlong will remember my coworker that’s been battling this demon for almost four years now, but it came to a head last week. As of Thursday he is officially unemployed. I’ve seen him in bad shape many times, but what I witnessed at his hearing Thursday was something I wasn’t ready for. I don’t know if he’ll be alive by Christmas, but if he is he will almost certainly be homeless.

I have three of his guns due to a previous incident he had about five years ago that prohibited him from owning firearms. I found out today that he has procured a pistol because he told me he stared at it for a long time the other night. Schlong warned me that he would have to hit rock bottom before he could begin his upward climb. He also warned me that some people’s rock bottom is death and I’m terrified that death is Mike’s rock bottom….

Alcoholics get sobered up, locked up, or covered up.  It's a fatal, progressive disease.

Thanks for the status update, I've often thought of Mike.

[Herbie Hancock 7345]

On 8/24/2021 at 2:59 PM, BearSchlong said:

Alcoholics get sobered up, locked up, or covered up.  It's a fatal, progressive disease.

Thanks for the status update, I've often thought of Mike.

I appreciate that. I also appreciate your willingness to help. Your words of wisdom, or ability to recite someone else's words of wisdom at just the right time, have been what has gotten me through this most recent rough stretch with Mike. I'm finally at peace with the fact that there is nothing I can do; that Mike has to make the decision himself.

[pch 1259]

Today I would have celebrated my son's 38th birthday but he didn't live to see it.  Instead, I did a zoom meeting at 7am, took my wife for her doctor's appointment, then had a CT myself.  It has been a real struggle to not think about all of the things we had planned to do after my retirement in January.  Was asked to do the steps in September for a group and know I will get more out of the opportunity than those present-like always.  My 69 year old heart aches today but I am doing the best I can to focus on the times we shared together in sobriety and be grateful. Until I pass, there will be a longing to see him, speak to him, hug him, that will not be satisfied, but I will find peace through the program and service that brought him back into my life in the first place.

[Kennythetiger 9376]

1 hour ago, pch said:

Today I would have celebrated my son's 38th birthday but he didn't live to see it.  Instead, I did a zoom meeting at 7am, took my wife for her doctor's appointment, then had a CT myself.  It has been a real struggle to not think about all of the things we had planned to do after my retirement in January.  Was asked to do the steps in September for a group and know I will get more out of the opportunity than those present-like always.  My 69 year old heart aches today but I am doing the best I can to focus on the times we shared together in sobriety and be grateful. Until I pass, there will be a longing to see him, speak to him, hug him, that will not be satisfied, but I will find peace through the program and service that brought him back into my life in the first place.

It’s not exactly on point for you, but pretty close. Here’s today’s stuff:

[JohnnyRage 1617]

I had reached a point in my relapses to where I was frequently missing the second half of Longhorn games. This might seem a minor consequence in the grand scheme of things, but the buildup in anticipation of the season and of game week itself, one would hope, tip the scales towards knowing the real time results of one of the only things that I actively rooted for in life.

But my scales get slammed in the direction of insanity once I have taken the first drink and normalized the behavior. It might take a couple of days, it might derail in a couple of weeks. Who knows, but I would eventually find out the hard way.

Good luck gentleman. I'll see you on the flip side of the college football season. You don't have to drink.

[El Diablo 4232]

36 minutes ago, JohnnyRage said:

I had reached a point in my relapses to where I was frequently missing the second half of Longhorn games. This might seem a minor consequence in the grand scheme of things, but the buildup in anticipation of the season and of game week itself, one would hope, tip the scales towards knowing the real time results of one of the only things that I actively rooted for in life.

But my scales get slammed in the direction of insanity once I have taken the first drink and normalized the behavior. It might take a couple of days, it might derail in a couple of weeks. Who knows, but I would eventually find out the hard way.

Good luck gentleman. I'll see you on the flip side of the college football season. You don't have to drink.

Know the feeling. Had season tickets, a rented tailgate spot for the season, all the toys that proper tailgating requires and yeah, at some point getting blotto overtook the alleged reason I was there. I say alleged because in my case with sobriety came a diminished interest in the gameday experience. At first that just took the form of watching on tv at home but last year (and COVID may have hastened this) I could count on one hand the number of games I watched and probably none completely or with rapt interest.  I've spent my day so far working in the yard and if I had not been listening to the local ESPN radio affiliate would not have realized it was week 0. My how the times have changed and no disrespect to cfb but I'm a helluva lot more productive now without that investment I once made in kids playing tackleball. 

Enjoy the games, enjoy not having to check scoreboard the next day for results.  

[Celery Man 20933]

On 8/25/2021 at 8:38 PM, Kennythetiger said:

It’s not exactly on point for you, but pretty close. Here’s today’s stuff:

Battery life making me recite the serenity prayer

[Kennythetiger 9376]

1 hour ago, Celery Man said:

Battery life making me recite the serenity prayer

Like me, it’s hanging by a thread…. 🙂

[BearSchlong 8083]

Holy smokes, I just saw a TV commercial for a new liquor delivery app. Assuming it just became legal in Texas this week?

Very grateful this wasn't around before I sobered up.

Another clue I'm an alcoholic, that commercial gave me the willies. 1st step done for today, yup, still alcoholic.

[Reagan1k 3024]

On 8/28/2021 at 12:07 PM, El Diablo said:

Enjoy the games, enjoy not having to check scoreboard the next day for results

Horrible feeling.  My son would always call on Sunday morning to talk about what games he'd bet or watched.  I always had to play catchup and fake my way through the conversation.  What a punch in the gut to know that I had a son who took the time to call his dad, and I wasn't able to be present for that in a meaningful way.

Like bear said - yep....I'm powerless once I take the 1st drink.

[closetohumping 17435]

My worry.  It takes a lot to get my ass drunk.  Three drinks used to do it.  Now I don’t feel shot after 7.  Now what?

[Kennythetiger 9376]

Quit for a month, just for fun. If you can’t do that, come on back. 

[TwiceHorn 31440]

7 hours ago, closetohumping said:

My worry.  It takes a lot to get my ass drunk.  Three drinks used to do it.  Now I don’t feel shot after 7.  Now what?

Anyone with human physiology will develop a tolerance for alcohol.  They will also suffer withdrawal after prolonged "usage."

Neither of those things make you an alcoholic.

It does seem that part of the physiology of being an alcoholic is developing a tolerance faster than most.  I was at the point that three drinks was nothing in high school, for example.  And that was drinking fast in the surreptitious underage way.

But a normal human can quit drinking, suffer through any withdrawal, and be fine.  An alky will be climbing the walls weeks or months after withdrawal, if s/he lasts that long.

Also, both alkies and normies feel great after quitting drinking.  But the alky will stop feeling great, start feeling weird, and will start drinking again under less than ideal circumstances; that is, there will always be a compulsive, "I don't want this" aspect to it.

[BearSchlong 8083]

My worry.  It takes a lot to get my ass drunk.  Three drinks used to do it.  Now I don’t feel shot after 7.  Now what?

Not speaking for you at all, but this is what I call "drinking myself sober"

For me personally, I'd be staring at an empty bottle at the end of the night with the realization that this wasn't cutting it anymore, and that I was probably an alcoholic and that this sucked.

Not alcoholic like "I'm so and so and I'm a grateful sober alcoholic" alcoholic, more like I am expert level, Like kids don't try this at home alcoholic, im a pro and I'll probably just die like this at some point and that is depressing alcoholic. I mean, I'd stop but whats the point?

Thankfully I got whooped sober a few months later.

10 yrs sober, just took my 29 year sober dad fishing, and between catching specks he is answering the local AA intergroup phone, routing drunks to meetings, like he is prone to do on the weekends.

What a life!

Yeah but I had to drink myself sober first.

[closetohumping 17435]

10 minutes ago, BearSchlong said:

Not speaking for you at all, but this is what I call "drinking myself sober"

For me personally, I'd be staring at an empty bottle at the end of the night with the realization that this wasn't cutting it anymore, and that I was probably an alcoholic and that this sucked.

Not alcoholic like "I'm so and so and I'm a grateful sober alcoholic" alcoholic, more like I am expert level, Like kids don't try this at home alcoholic, im a pro and I'll probably just die like this at some point and that is depressing alcoholic. I mean, I'd stop but whats the point?

Thankfully I got whooped sober a few months later.

10 yrs sober, just took my 29 year sober dad fishing, and between catching specks he is answering the local AA intergroup phone, routing drunks to meetings, like he is prone to do on the weekends.

What a life!

Yeah but I had to drink myself sober first.

 

Yea.  I was drinking bourbon and diets all night.  Finally switched to just the bourbon so that I could catch a buzz.   

[BBQ2Bayou 807]

 

1 hour ago, closetohumping said:

Yea.  I was drinking bourbon and diets all night.  Finally switched to just the bourbon so that I could catch a buzz.   

Progressive is a word that gets thrown out a lot with alcoholism. And for good reason. I used to think alcoholism was a weakness, not a disease and progressive was tolerance, not a condition. It took me a while to admit that I had a progressive disease.  Not saying that's you, brother, just sharing where my mind was when hearing words like disease and progressive and alcoholism. 

It's great to have a new season of college football to watch sober. Never thought I'd say that.

Edited September 4, 2021 by BBQ2Bayou

[closetohumping 17435]

1 hour ago, BBQ2Bayou said:

 

Progressive is a word that gets thrown out a lot with alcoholism. And for good reason. I used to think alcoholism was a weakness, not a disease and progressive was tolerance, not a condition. It took me a while to admit that I had a progressive disease.  Not saying that's you, brother, just sharing where my mind was when hearing words like disease and progressive and alcoholism. 

It's great to have a new season of college football to watch sober. Never thought I'd say that.

Yea. Well cfb was my trigger to drink. Now it’s work related stress.   Let me see if I can contain it to just Friday and Saturday.  Stay tuned 

[BearSchlong 8083]

Good discussion.

Out of curiosity, if a blind survey asked the people closest to you about your drinking what would they say?

If there is a problem - not saying there is - but the alcoholic is usually the last to know.