I'm An Alcoholic

[Drifterwood 161]

I stopped drinking on 6/15/23 after a blackout on a work trip that did not feature any disaster or rock bottom type fuck up, then over the holidays decided to take a break from sobriety from Christmas through the Sugar Bowl. Didn’t go nuts, but had probably 4-6 beers each day and it just didn’t really do much of anything for me. Haven’t had anything since.

One of my goals for 2024 was fewer than 12 days drinking, and I’ve thought about using up a day a couple times, including the Super Bowl, but haven’t pulled the trigger. I don’t know why I set that goal instead of zero. I’ve taken an approach this whole time that I didn’t know how long I would be stopping for, I just knew I wanted to stop for a while. Maybe to lessen the pressure that would make me feel like a failure if I slipped up? Either way, I feel like that approach has been more effective for me than a hard, absolute ultimatum imposed on myself.

I certainly do not feel in any position to recommend that or any other advice to anyone though. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. I know there are people who benefit more from a “never again under any circumstances” approach, and I would never want to discourage anyone from doing what works for them.

Only sharing to I guess contribute something to what I’ve found to be a valuable thread, and I don’t know, just reinforce that there are different paths?

I hope that anyone struggling is able to stick with it long enough to determine that you like the way not drinking makes you feel more than you like the way drinking made you feel. Or whatever else gets you to not pick up the bottle.

I’ve been able to focus so much better, and I’ve had a lot of realizations about myself, not all of them positive. I’ve found myself much less irritable, and I think it’s due to the fact that so many of my frustrations and triggers that led me to drink were probably just my stupid body trying to convince me to take the medicine it was trained to want. I also feel much less worried, in general.

I hope we are all able to not drink today and can do it again tomorrow. Maybe the one-day-at-a-time approach is just a different version of what I’ve been doing?

May you all have more good days than bad days ahead of you. Godspeed.

[Kennythetiger 9380]

7 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

Ouch, and good luck.

My stepbrother has a friend who he is trying to point to rehab.

In the last month, he's been banned from the Little League field/organization for being wasted around kids, is about to be thrown off a pretty prestigious charity board for simulating fellatio on another board member, and then did shots at another family event and had a loud discussion about myths, generalizations, and penis-size with the only black guy in attendance.

He's rich and writes big checks but is about to wear out his welcome in polite society.

I chortled. Gave my stepbrother the phone number to La Hacienda and said good luck. He is so obsessed with polite decorum so if anything the aforementioned events were under-embellished.

One of my favorite parts of the big book of AA mentions “let him drink for a day, and he becomes disgustingly, even dangerously anti-social.”

Hey, that was me.

“It’s not about how much you drink, it’s about what the drink does to you.”  

[TwiceHorn 31452]

5 hours ago, Drifterwood said:

I stopped drinking on 6/15/23 after a blackout on a work trip that did not feature any disaster or rock bottom type fuck up, then over the holidays decided to take a break from sobriety from Christmas through the Sugar Bowl. Didn’t go nuts, but had probably 4-6 beers each day and it just didn’t really do much of anything for me. Haven’t had anything since.

One of my goals for 2024 was fewer than 12 days drinking, and I’ve thought about using up a day a couple times, including the Super Bowl, but haven’t pulled the trigger. I don’t know why I set that goal instead of zero. I’ve taken an approach this whole time that I didn’t know how long I would be stopping for, I just knew I wanted to stop for a while. Maybe to lessen the pressure that would make me feel like a failure if I slipped up? Either way, I feel like that approach has been more effective for me than a hard, absolute ultimatum imposed on myself.

I certainly do not feel in any position to recommend that or any other advice to anyone though. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. I know there are people who benefit more from a “never again under any circumstances” approach, and I would never want to discourage anyone from doing what works for them.

Only sharing to I guess contribute something to what I’ve found to be a valuable thread, and I don’t know, just reinforce that there are different paths?

I hope that anyone struggling is able to stick with it long enough to determine that you like the way not drinking makes you feel more than you like the way drinking made you feel. Or whatever else gets you to not pick up the bottle.

I’ve been able to focus so much better, and I’ve had a lot of realizations about myself, not all of them positive. I’ve found myself much less irritable, and I think it’s due to the fact that so many of my frustrations and triggers that led me to drink were probably just my stupid body trying to convince me to take the medicine it was trained to want. I also feel much less worried, in general.

I hope we are all able to not drink today and can do it again tomorrow. Maybe the one-day-at-a-time approach is just a different version of what I’ve been doing?

May you all have more good days than bad days ahead of you. Godspeed.

Well, I think this is a nice example of what happens when a normal person decides to stop drinking.  And resume, temporarily.

Many of us probably could have pulled off the June stoppage, with some difficulty, probably detox.  But Christmas would have been a shit show.

[BearSchlong 8087]

At its core, this book reads like the big book. A lot rougher, but amazing nonetheless. He's been sober since August 1968.

[TwiceHorn 31452]

15 minutes ago, BearSchlong said:

At its core, this book reads like the big book. A lot rougher, but amazing nonetheless. He's been sober since August 1968.

Interesting that Steve (Tao of) is his co-author. 

[BearSchlong 8087]

Went to the 37th annual Lake Murray Men’s Conference last weekend in Oklahoma.

Fantastic speakers, fun fellowship, and great food.

As y'all probably know, conferences and fellowship in AA wherever my travels take me is a big part of my sobriety. Previous Saturday night:

[YGIFS 19450]

Wait, the mother fucking Catalina wine mixer is for recovering alcoholic?  Goddamn simulation…

[BearSchlong 8087]

Lol on a Saturday night it's a great meeting

[Guest]

Ok, I've put off posting here just trying to not to air anyone's business... but how the hell do I help a friend that seems incapable of helping himself?

He's in bad. Always had an issue with drinking too much, recent divorce has put him over the edge. On top, he was laid off and had some deaths in the family. He's a wreck emotionally. He's been to the hospital three times in the past few months due to alcohol issues, including recent seizures.

I've begged him to go to meetings just to take some sort of step, and told him I would go with him. He says they are too boring and puts up all sorts of other hurdles. He admits he has a problem, but seems to have some sort of mental block against actually trying to get better. I think he gets overwhelmed trying to take even the smallest step such as finding a counselor and figuring out insurance/payment. 

What can I do?

Edit to add he's been to two detox sessions (~5 days each). First one he was doing well for a few weeks and fell off. Next one seemed like he went right back.

 

Edited March 13 by FirstTimeCaller

[Kennythetiger 9380]

Buy him a bottle of his favorite booze and get out of the way. You’ve already done everything else that you can do. 

[Dewey 3286]

Find some good treatment centers, let him know you have them for him and when he's ready to go, you'll take him, be there for him. Then pray. Leave him alone, hope that isolation will convince him he needs to change. 

Don't answer your phone when he calls, especially late at night. You call when you have time and check in on him. Let him know every time that you know a place. 

His sobriety is going to be his decision, not anyone elses. 

[BearSchlong 8087]

Meetings are WAY more exciting than dying of acute alcoholism, or at least that's my accepted narrative.

Where does he live?

[Guest]

20 hours ago, Dewey said:

Find some good treatment centers, let him know you have them for him and when he's ready to go, you'll take him, be there for him. Then pray. Leave him alone, hope that isolation will convince him he needs to change. 

Don't answer your phone when he calls, especially late at night. You call when you have time and check in on him. Let him know every time that you know a place. 

His sobriety is going to be his decision, not anyone elses. 

After a few months of friendly encouragement (he can get REAL defensive if he feels attacked), I finally took off the kid gloves and  lit into him a little bit and let him know he needs to do something -- any step -- or I don't have much to say. Still talk occasionally, but I pick up only when it's convenient for me. I feel bad as I'm fairly sure he's just sitting in the apartment alone. 

Honestly, glad to see this as I've been feeling pretty conflicted about giving him the cold shoulder.

13 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

Meetings are WAY more exciting than dying of acute alcoholism, or at least that's my accepted narrative.

Where does he live?

I said the same damn thing. This is Austin.

[YGIFS 19450]

I've been to some crappier meetings, no judgement around town.  But I found the 5:30p down by me off South MoPac to be a good entry point.  Happy to send you or him the details.  It was a great way to get started to stop.  I mean it's all the same thing but sometimes when you're in a room of more or less people in the same boat as you (age, gender, situation, etc.), it can be slightly less intimidating.  Once that first hour of people saying the shit out loud that's been rattling around in your head for years, it's beyond helpful.  Again, no judging-but I've been to ones where it's more been about drug abuse and parole officers telling 'em to go and spousal abuse and that kinda stuff.  And those are all well and good.  But to sit in a room of guys about my age and about our station in life who just use booze as a time machine to skip past the uncomfortable parts of life...that's what really helped me get started.  I still have to remind myself to get started almost every day.  I have a running joke with a standup friend of mine who is also in recovery who does a bit about learning to drive/fix cars, "I kept meaning to learn to get sober, but then I forgot."  

[strangulation! 1716]

21 hours ago, Dewey said:

Don't answer your phone when he calls, especially late at night.

can you expound on this a little? I think I know why but I'm curious to your thoughts

[Underdog 28614]

On 3/6/2024 at 2:33 PM, YGIFS said:

Wait, the mother fucking Catalina wine mixer is for recovering alcoholic?  Goddamn simulation…

 

On 3/6/2024 at 9:06 PM, BearSchlong said:

Lol on a Saturday night it's a great meeting

80s Billy Joel doo wop sucks!

Edited March 14 by Underdog

[Dewey 3286]

3 hours ago, strangulation! said:

can you expound on this a little? I think I know why but I'm curious to your thoughts

I'd rather talk to them when they're not so drunk, they usually feel pretty helpless in the morning and the bug might stick a little tighter (my opinion). A full day of drinking and I'm going to tell you how unfair life is, that my ex is a cheating cunt and my former boss always blames me! 

I'm not involved as much as I used to be, there are far more knowledgeable people here than me, just how I prefer to do things. 

[YGIFS 19450]

I have no idea what his stance on alcohol is, but last night and this morning was watching clips of Silicon Valley for some reason.  Sundays are still tough for me, just muscle memory from drinking on the weekends.  So we go to church and Im praying on higher power help.  And who is in the pew in front of us?  You guessed it. Mike Judge.  Fucking wild.  

[BearSchlong 8087]

My kiddo is on her way to breaking up with her boyfriend because of his drinking. St. Patrick's Day in Chicago was the last straw.

“When he drinks it's as if he becomes a different person.”

I really feel for the guy. Former B1G starting athlete who had his career ended instantly due to a gruesome injury followed by agonizing surgeries and rehab. Overbearing teetotalling, orthodox parents whose approval was elusive. Then he gripped the lightning rod that is my child and his emotional immaturity became apparent.

Grateful that she realizes the truth about him. A precious sweet man but when he drinks. . .

[Kennythetiger 9380]

1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

And who is in the pew in front of us?  You guessed it. Mike Judge. 

Well hell. I guessed Frank Stallone. 

[DallasHorn26 586]

This may turn into more of a vent session for me, but how do you guys with kids deal with family logistics and AA  involvement? My kids (13,15,16) have told their mom and step dad that they don't feel like a priority in my life and that they are backburner to AA.  Their step-dad even told me the other night I went form "Raging Alcoholic to obsessed with AA and church". I've tried to have this conversation directly with the kids, but the perception I get from them is they are good with things. I emphasize with them constantly that I am available to hear anything they have to say. Sometimes I think this is probably more their mother and I not seeing eye-to-eye.

I have committed meetings I attend each week (usually when the kids aren't with me) and I don't talk to them about AA unless they ask. There have been a few occasions over the past few years where I have missed a function due to an AA commitment, but they have bene few and far between.

To me they are a priority.....I also know they don't get sober me without AA.

[Reagan1k 3024]

That's a good one to discuss with your sponsor who probably sees it from an objective perspective.

Could easily be the EX just stirring up shit.  Most teens won't even look up from their phones long enough to realize a parent slipped out for an hour and a half to get to a meeting and back.

If you're intentional about the time you do spend with them, I'd venture to make a SWAG that it isn't a real issue.

I'd go sit down with your sponsor and then maybe sit down with the kids individually and talk it out.  Find the truth for each one and adjust if needed from there.

It's always a balancing act that ebbs and flows, but as you said....the reality is that without the program there is no dad in the picture at all.

[BearSchlong 8087]

I've previously mentioned my key 2021 sponsee who was a HS senior when I was a freshman.  The guy with the hottest sexiest girlfriends, the best booze and drugs, the coolest music, at the best parties, that 14 year old me hero worshipped.  Kind of a Dazed and Confused scene.  And now that he's in his early 50s I've taken him through the steps and he's got 10 months and he's become like a brother.  I've described how I know I'm alcoholic because from the moment I got to high school I wanted to be exactly like those seniors who were doing it right, weekends in oblivion.  And how when he got to AA he didn't recognize me or realize who I was until after he asked me to sponsor him.
Last night we had one of those magical, intimate book study meetings.  We're on the stories in the back of the book, and my observation is that the women contributors do a smashing job with language. https://aa-edinburgh.org.uk/pdf/bigbook/pioneers_9.pdf.  This sums it up:

. . .through a long and calamitous series of shattering experiences, I found myself being helplessly propelled toward total destruction.

Dammit, he ended his life on Tuesday.

He left behind a wife, 4 kids aged 4-17, 2 stepkids, and about a thousand others who are in anguish.

I talked to him Sunday at 3 and he seemed to be in a good mood.

A disease where we tell people ”I'm fine” even though we might be dying inside.

Sitting on the patio at pecan lodge, listening to country music, swilling diet coke, and reminiscing. I need to shake off this meat coma and fly home and be with my friends.

[BearSchlong 8087]

Oh, and the Tuesday night Primary Purpose big book study in Dallas is an interesting experience if you’ve never been.

[DallasHorn26 586]

On 3/20/2024 at 7:38 AM, Reagan1k said:

That's a good one to discuss with your sponsor who probably sees it from an objective perspective.

Could easily be the EX just stirring up shit.  Most teens won't even look up from their phones long enough to realize a parent slipped out for an hour and a half to get to a meeting and back.

If you're intentional about the time you do spend with them, I'd venture to make a SWAG that it isn't a real issue.

I'd go sit down with your sponsor and then maybe sit down with the kids individually and talk it out.  Find the truth for each one and adjust if needed from there.

It's always a balancing act that ebbs and flows, but as you said....the reality is that without the program there is no dad in the picture at all.

Thanks for this. I have talked it over with both my sponsor and Grand sponsor and both have said the same. The kids may not see it all now, but I suspect theyll see the big picture when they're older.

[YGIFS 19450]

Sorry to hear this.  Fucking horrific.  You are spot on about "I'm fine" to other people even though we are internally in decay.  Told my wife after Easter that I need to start my week off on Sundays with meetings and step work in lieu of going to her church.  A very old friend of mine is moving to Austin in a few months from Seattle and he has really helped me out along the way and I've introduced him to my south MoPac group via zoom.  He and his wife have been separated while he works his shit out in Washington (she is in Florida), but this reminds me of how much work I still need to put in.  Miles to go before I sleep.  And I've many promises that I must keep...

[BearSchlong 8087]

My wife and I just spent 3 hours in the serenity garden on my back patio with his widow.

My biggest realization is that I'm not God, and I can't save every alcoholic.

She kept looking to us for answers, and we told her that our home is her home and that all we can offer is love and support and a safe place for her to come if things get too heavy.

Then I called my sponsor and told him maybe I'm just a bad sponsor and he laughed and said you're not that important.

Funeral on Wednesday.

[Brisketexan 105098]

My wife and I just spent 3 hours in the serenity garden on my back patio with his widow.

My biggest realization is that I'm not God, and I can't save every alcoholic.

She kept looking to us for answers, and we told her that our home is her home and that all we can offer is love and support and a safe place for her to come if things get too heavy.

Then I called my sponsor and told him maybe I'm just a bad sponsor and he laughed and said you're not that important.

Funeral on Wednesday.

You ARE a good man.
And you aren’t god. And maybe what you try to help doesn’t matter for shit, the universe doesn’t give a fuck. Or maybe it matters a great deal. We won’t fucking know till we’re dead, probably not even then.
Keep on keeping on. I’m really glad that you’re out there doing your thing.

[pch 1259]

On 3/28/2024 at 3:54 PM, BearSchlong said:

Oh, and the Tuesday night Primary Purpose big book study in Dallas is an interesting experience if you’ve never been.

Dallas or Arlington?  Sorry for you loss amigo.

[BearSchlong 8087]

Dallas.

It's a rather regimented big book study.

[Reagan1k 3024]

We're everywhere!

Last weekend I had to participate / co-chair a rather larger event that included an open bar. 

Before things kicked off it was still quiet and I went to the bar and ordered a Topo Chico with lime.  When the bartender gave me the drink, he commented that I watched him make the drink like someone who wanted to make sure he got it right. 

I told him I didn't drink at all and that everyone was happier for it.  He laughed, stuck out his hand and said "I'm T.J. and I've got 10 years." 

We talked some about our time and stories, and he took extra care to make sure he was the only bartender who made my drinks as the evening progressed.  At the end of the night I gave him a healthy tip on the side, he came out and hugged me and told me to keep doing the deal.  

CSB - I know.  It's happened to all of us and has happened to me before, but I believe it to be important to stop and recognize it for what it is.....and it ain't a coincidence or accident.

 

[YGIFS 19450]

Thanks for sharing that.  I had a similar experience this past weekend.  I've obviously known the folks in recovery in my inner circle.  But every once in awhile I kinda pick up on a stranger's vibe who I think might be like me.  But I don't say anything because it's not my place and I am probably wrong.  But I go to get a seltzer from the cooler as he's getting one at this crawfish boil event.  And we both kinda just shared this nod like "peace be with you, brother."   I try not to take meetings/step stuff out into public and talk about it.  I know folks that do that and if it helps 'em, great.  But believe it or not from my posting history, I am actually quite reserved in real life.  But every now and again, now that my eyes are open...I see folks like us who I can engage with just in regular real life that just want to speak and be heard at a birthday party or a coffee shop or at church.  And it doesn't have to be the focal point of the conversation, but I need to remember that we need to help one another not just in formal settings, but just out and about if the person (or myself) just needs a quick lift or just a smile.  

[BearSchlong 8087]

Good stuff. My work BFF who is in the program was at an event with another employee from our Seattle office and they ordered club sodas and a quick “Hey, do you know my friend Bill?” usually gets a knowing nod. And now there are 3 of us out of several hundred thousand employees.

Funeral for my buddy today. The cathedral was PACKED and at least a hundred others were in an overflow room. 700 people is probably a low estimate. I got there a half hour early and had to sit on the back row. The only bright spot was seeing people I hadn't seen in 34 years who flew in from around the country for the service.

My first impulse was to take a photo of the throng and text it to him in heaven and say “Hey dumbass, look how much you and your family are loved!!” I feel like such an asshole for typing that.

This marks the 3rd suicide I've been close to since June of ‘23. I'm really getting weary of that dreadful feeling that accompanies the memories.

So, powerlessness over people places, and things.

[ztejas 43419]

Hey if anyone in Austin might be down to sponsor me I could use some help. pm me if you'd be available. More looking for some guidance and help with the first 3 steps than trying to rush through everything.

It would be nice to meet in person at least occasionally - I'm just south of 71 right now.

Thanks guys. 

[Hook1997 5354]

I think I’m more of an emotional drinking alcoholic if that makes sense?  I can go times without drinking some but when I get in my head and things are going bad in life I turn to drinking so I can numb the thoughts.  But then a bad day turns to a drunk Friday night, that turns to a drunk starting kinda early Saturday, that turns to a let’s numb the hangover and thoughts of Saturday to early Sunday funday to possibly doing the same Monday then I continue.   If I’m in my head it’s an endless cycle and I know what’s going on but I keep doing it.  I go thru times where I can drink normally when I’m in a good headspace but once I start to spiral mentally it’s the cycle and it’s the drinking keeps me in the negative headspace.  So to me it’s starts as using it as an avoidance but the drinking keeps me in the initial thinking I was using it to avoid.  

[BearSchlong 8087]

I’ve likened my alcoholism to a football team that punts on first down rather than face the music and attempt to advance the ball for another set of downs. But in my mind, I really want to be the greatest show on turf, tomorrow.

Does that make sense to anyone else?

Recovery is like 3 yards and a cloud of dust sometimes.

[TwiceHorn 31452]

6 hours ago, Hook1997 said:

I think I’m more of an emotional drinking alcoholic if that makes sense?  I can go times without drinking some but when I get in my head and things are going bad in life I turn to drinking so I can numb the thoughts.  But then a bad day turns to a drunk Friday night, that turns to a drunk starting kinda early Saturday, that turns to a let’s numb the hangover and thoughts of Saturday to early Sunday funday to possibly doing the same Monday then I continue.   If I’m in my head it’s an endless cycle and I know what’s going on but I keep doing it.  I go thru times where I can drink normally when I’m in a good headspace but once I start to spiral mentally it’s the cycle and it’s the drinking keeps me in the negative headspace.  So to me it’s starts as using it as an avoidance but the drinking keeps me in the initial thinking I was using it to avoid.  

To a large extent, most of us started drinking as a response to unpleasant emotions. Maybe everyone does to a greater or lesser degree; I can't speak for the normies. 

But the beginning of the pathology was that it displaced any coping mechanisms we should have developed. 

The Friday into Saturday into Monday sounds very familiar to me, but the instances where I could control it were few and far between even if the initial imbibing began not, at least on the surface, as an emotional response. 

You are at the point that you have recognized a potential problem. The acid test now may be to see if you can just quit. 

[Al_4_ISU 12460]

45 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

To a large extent, most of us started drinking as a response to unpleasant emotions. Maybe everyone does to a greater or lesser degree; I can't speak for the normies. 

But the beginning of the pathology was that it displaced any coping mechanisms we should have developed. 

The Friday into Saturday into Monday sounds very familiar to me, but the instances where I could control it were few and far between even if the initial imbibing began not, at least on the surface, as an emotional response. 

You are at the point that you have recognized a potential problem. The acid test now may be to see if you can just quit. 

As a normie that had a rough patch a few years back, I never started drinking to deal with unpleasant emotions, but I found it was a temporarily relief from them and then it started using it as a coping mechanism.  Thanks to my wife and parents saying something it never got to the point where I had a full on problem, but it definitely could have.  I met with a therapist for awhile back in those days and her assessment was that I wasn't an alcoholic, but I had a maladaptive coping mechanism.

I didn't drink for awhile after that, and ever since, when I'm feeling really down I go to exercise to clear my mood.  I do still drink, but it's always either with friends as a social lubricant, or occasionally, one or two at the end of the day as part of a wind down.  Although I rarely drink in that setting any more these days either.  It feels akin to drinking to deal with pain, which is what I was doing 7-8 years ago.

[Celery Man 20935]

15 minutes ago, Al_4_ISU said:

when I'm feeling really down I go to exercise to clear my mood

good strategy for folks here as well

[Al_4_ISU 12460]

2 hours ago, Celery Man said:

good strategy for folks here as well

I think it’s a good strategy for all of humanity.

Only thing that truly makes me feel better.

[JohnnyRage 1617]

On 4/14/2024 at 11:25 PM, ztejas said:

Hey if anyone in Austin might be down to sponsor me I could use some help. pm me if you'd be available. More looking for some guidance and help with the first 3 steps than trying to rush through everything.

It would be nice to meet in person at least occasionally - I'm just south of 71 right now.

Thanks guys. 

1. I can't

2. 'He' can

3. I think I'll let him

 

Don't overthink it. My second total solar eclipse is a big enough higher power, power greater than myself, to start on. My son blowing a wish on a dandelion that his dad won't drink anymore is a big enough higher power for me.

The rest requires some voluntary action and a incy bit of faith that you are worth fixing. It is a recipe that they promise will work. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. But it's better than what you got right now.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited April 18 by JohnnyRage

[YGIFS 19450]

Well said.  Some days it's more work/action than faith.  Other days it's more faith than work/action.  Some days it's about just striving to help other people like us, even if you don't know what the hell you're doing.  And other days, it's being open to help from others because you/we were so used to being shuttered off from everybody and dealing with shit on our own.  But as you say, any movement or attempt is better than the status quo.  You can't say that about much in life.  It's engrained in us to play it safe in most respects, but just a 10% click out of your comfort zone with this problem of ours...it's a massive game-changer. 

[BurntEyes 5972]

On 3/14/2024 at 1:43 PM, Guest said:

After a few months of friendly encouragement (he can get REAL defensive if he feels attacked), I finally took off the kid gloves and  lit into him a little bit and let him know he needs to do something -- any step -- or I don't have much to say. Still talk occasionally, but I pick up only when it's convenient for me. I feel bad as I'm fairly sure he's just sitting in the apartment alone. 

Honestly, glad to see this as I've been feeling pretty conflicted about giving him the cold shoulder.

I said the same damn thing. This is Austin.

Oh man, I'm not gonna dismiss Austin, but I feel confident Bear Schlong will back me up in saying, there is a lot of crazy everywhere.

That said, I know some of my family felt bad about giving me the cold shoulder at some point. I can only hope some friends I lost did too.

When I say hope they felt bad, let me be clear, that's me hoping I can still or have to some degree redeemed myself. I hope those I lost will forgive me if I get a chance to apologize. I hope I didn't cause them too much pain.

Basically, "I hope they felt bad" should really be, I feel bad for having run them off. I hope they'll forgive me.

That's me rambling late after driving too many hours and recently becoming unemployed but still happy to be alive and sober for over 10 years. If it's poorly worded, I apologize.

Saw a good friend today, seeing family and friends this weekend.

Love this world, love my life.

Edited April 18 by BurntEyes

[ztejas 43419]

On 4/14/2024 at 11:25 PM, ztejas said:

Hey if anyone in Austin might be down to sponsor me I could use some help. pm me if you'd be available. More looking for some guidance and help with the first 3 steps than trying to rush through everything.

It would be nice to meet in person at least occasionally - I'm just south of 71 right now.

Thanks guys. 

Have a guy from a meeting I like that I'm meeting with tomorrow.

I did not receive any pms but I appreciate y'all being here - figured I'd tack it on our bulletin 😉

[Jerry Callo 8700]

That's good news, ztejas. 

I didn't do a 12-step program, but I suspect its best having a sponsor with no previous relationship.  My mother was a recovering alcoholic, around 40 years when she passed last year, and she had a lifelong friendship with the sponsor she met at her first AA meeting.

One day at a time and the serenity prayer are two very helpful and impactful contemplations.  

[BearSchlong 8087]

Have a guy from a meeting I like that I'm meeting with tomorrow.
I did not receive any pms but I appreciate y'all being here - figured I'd tack it on our bulletin

Good. You have my number, lets connect this weekend.

[pch 1259]

Good for you zetjas.  I was told by my first sponsor that the steps are in the order they are to achieve the following: clarity-1, sanity-2,accountability -3-9, responsibility10-12.  I had none of these while drinking nor when I wasn't drinking but no sponsor and not working the steps.  If you ever make it to Fort Worth, look me up at the Harbor Club on West 5th.  I am there regularly most days at the 7am meeting and will buy you a cup of 90 weight coffee before the meeting starts with this caveat:  We request a three minute time limit on sharing to allow as many as possible to participate!☺️

[GhostOfTomJoad 9324]

Pretty sure that this is physically impossible, but is there any chance that a medical condition could cause one's BAC to be elevated to extreme levels without consuming alcohol? I was a BLS responder on a corporate response team for many years and witnessed Px going through diabetic ketoacidosis, but that wasn't a sustainable state (they either improved w/ treatment or continued to plummet w/ their glucose levels).

BIL  has had several bizarre experiences the past 3-4 months, including 2 hospital stays. His latest was yesterday when his wife found him stumbling into walls and speaking gibberish. She took him to the ER where they initially focused on his kidney values (he has some family history/underlying issues). His BAC was .24 after his second blood draw. His glucose was also elevated. His wife thinks he's developed type 2 diabetes (runs in his family; his younger brother died due to complications of it plus kidney disease). He's never been shy about his love of beer and bourbon, but he claims he hadn't had anything to drink on Saturday prior to his incident & hospital trip. That's almost certainly not true, but even if he did drink something is it possible his body would amplify the effects to the point that his BAC would read 3X the legal limit?

 

[BurntEyes 5972]

On 3/17/2024 at 1:33 PM, BearSchlong said:

My kiddo is on her way to breaking up with her boyfriend because of his drinking. St. Patrick's Day in Chicago was the last straw.

“When he drinks it's as if he becomes a different person.”

I really feel for the guy. Former B1G starting athlete who had his career ended instantly due to a gruesome injury followed by agonizing surgeries and rehab. Overbearing teetotalling, orthodox parents whose approval was elusive. Then he gripped the lightning rod that is my child and his emotional immaturity became apparent.

Grateful that she realizes the truth about him. A precious sweet man but when he drinks. . .

Having lived 10 years in Chicago 8 drinking 2 sober...

If you want to scare a child regarding the dangers of booze drag them to Chicago for the week leading up to St Pats.

I've been to a lot of massive party moments/places over the course of my life. Vegas and NYC on NYE for example. In my experience, nothing tops Chicago during St Pats for city wide abuse of alcohol.

[JohnnyRage 1617]

@GhostOfTomJoad I'm no scientist, but if they liver is damaged or not processing alcohol effectively, it would seem to me that it would it would have no course but to continue to accumulate. I think it is a fairly common notion that severe alcoholics at some point seem to no longer have a chill zone. They seem to go from zero to blasted. Our window of being able to participate normally with the outside world or enjoy our drinking gets shorter and shorter.

The body does produce alcohol naturally, but not at those levels. At least not that I've ever heard of. One of the questions that an arresting  officer will ask is if the person being arrested has diabetes.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 7 by JohnnyRage